May 7, 2008
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"Have U Ever" survey
A strange but good one (no, it's not, run while you can) HAVE U EVER...
seen ghosts?: I'm pre-haunting my house so the next people here can be freaked out. been abducted by aliens: I was hoping that would explain the childhood nosebleeds, but alas, no little implant in my skull. seen a dead body: How many dead bodies have I held... Ask me if I've done autopsies. ran into a wall?: and rebound off door frames. Good times, good times. They confirmed it wasn't a tumor. tripped over ur own shoes?: I think it would be more spectacular to sorta go off into a dive when I do that, maybe fly dramatically into someone, but that never happens. kissed the same sex?: Mom, daughter, sister... ??? Thou thinkest smallest, yon surveyist. pored salt in ur cereal accidently thinking it was sugar?: I eat my cereal straight up, but I have accidentally poured juice on it. lied for your friends?: I create awesome rumors, and if my friends kinda wind up *ahem* caught in the flux, that's just HILARIOUS!!!!! I use friends for entertainment purposes. snuck out of the house as a kid?: Took the screen off, climbed a tree, contemplated the vast desert around me in the moonlight. My guru-ness was never appreciated. put aluminum in the microwave?: I am afraid of microwaves. I don't even put plastic in them. caught something on fire?: Ah, familiar ground. Yes. I would have made an excellent arsonist, except that I prefer controlled burns that clean things up. lit a ciggerette backwards?: I have driven with a cigarette rolling around under my butt while I frantically shifted gears in 6 lane traffic. lied about ur age?: They won't let me have senior discounts yet. I'm sure I'll be carded till I'm 70. throw up on someone?: Wicked people who get innocent girls to drink chew spit out of pop cans deserve all the puke you can splash on them. your better half... do u love this person?: He has to peel me off. could u really spend the rest of ur life with them?: I'd hate to start over at this point, you never know if the next guy will have worse gas or something. Besides, I think he likes me. how do they make u feel?: It's so handy having someone around who can put ben gay on places you can't reach. do you fight purposely to make them leave?: Egads, I want the insurance, I would never be so dumb. root through their things when they are not around?: BOR-ing. But I'm letting him keep my pistol under his side of the bed. We take turns pretending to be Jack Bauer. trust them ?: Um, I let him use my pistol... have thoughts they would cheat?: I gasp with laughter at the thought. And he knows I do. like their ex's?: I tried to like the hard core druggie on an alcoholic roller coaster thing, I really really did, but in the end, ok, I'm lying. She's a bitch. good lover?: "You are here". *x marks spot* Real men don't ask directions. do they stick up for you?: After a few years, a man instinctively realizes that going between a mom and a wife is a death warrant. Funny how long it takes that instinct to kick in. do u feel safe with them?: I TRY.... It's really hard not to smirk sometimes, but honestly, I do feel safer than if I were to take over and blow someone's head off and wind up in jail. do they get jealous easy?: The only guy he's ever been jealous of is Eddie Izzard. Everything.. what 2 songs ever made u cry?: Why 2? There's a whole radio station I have to avoid. what song describes ur life?: My *whole* life, or my life right now? I think this morning it would be I Think I'm a Clone Now. would u ever go on american idol?: Only if Jack Bauer showed up thinking all the contestants were terrorists and I was assisting him. what family member makes u laugh?: Beware being a family member. I laugh at all who cross my path. who is ur best friends?: Right now I've got nails on a chalk board going over that serious plurality issue. why are they the best?: Because someone doesn't proofread. do u know how to subtract?: Help me, the survey creator has me trapped in a little jar... do u have to add using ur fingers sometimes?: I am a bug trapped in a jar... hellllpppp... have a celebritiy look-alike?: Let's pretend I look like Freddy Kruger right now. wonder where choclate milk comes from?: I was so grossed out the first time I saw a Cadbury bunny commercial. Think about it. why isn't animal crackers called cookies?: aauuugghhh *holding head* grammar!!!!! scared of any kind of dolls?: I'm a big doll coming to kill the survey maker, with an evil grin on my face. >=) afraid of the dark?: Dark matter does not frighten me. I have heard it makes up over 70% of the universe, and it hasn't eaten me yet. ever get hit with a pickle?: I'm a little concerned that the survey maker has inspired someone to attack him with a pickle. Or her... did O.J. simpson do it?: I think OJ hit you with the pickle, eh? like Micheal Jackson?: I fear for you having an eye put out with a pickle.