May 29, 2008

  • sudden ending survey


    1) Your first concert:  Sometime in grade school, possibly third grade.  I'd like to say we were brilliant, but I've blocked most of the experience out completely due to stress.  By stress I mean other kids being idiots and trying to push each other off the little riser, and I got caught in the flak.  I feared for my life.  And I didn't see any lighters waving around out there. 
    2) In your grown life, have you ever wet your pants?  My 'grown life'.  That is such a funny phrase.  My 'grown life'.  I've been growing my life for over 4 decades now (old granny voice), and the only time I've ever wet my pants was when I had the goop in my chest last fall and slept a little too long and hard on all the benadryl I was taking.  Let me quote from another survey I took on myspace to get the proper effect here...
    36. What was the first thing you thought when you woke up this morning?
    Quick, get to the bathroom before you hack up slime all over yourself, and actually, go even faster than that before the coughing makes you pee the couch. Nothing like coming out of a dead sleep in full blown cough spasm running through the house mode.
    For more of that fun survey, see survey flashbacks from 2007.
    3) Ever run out on a tab (taxi, bar, restaurant)?  Ever work in said establishments to get all the free food and drink you could scarf?  The food service industry can be a sweet ride if you play your cards right.  I've munched on everything from clam strips to $150/bottle wine, and once took home a box full of freshly bbq'd ribs.
    4) It's Halloween. You dump your candy bag out and feast your eyes on the sugar bonanza. What do you eat first?  It's Halloween.  You force your child to run through the wind and rain for piles of candy and money, and laugh like a mad scientist over your loot when you get home.  BWAHAHAHAHA!!!!  And the tootsie rolls were ~mine~.
    5) Tell a most awkward/ embarassing/ nasty vomit story (you may be witness to or you may be the ill one here):  As I sit here and peruse my nasty puke memories of myself and others, I have to say that the worst part of any of them was the stuff the janitor sprinkled on.
    6) Does your mother curse?  My mother is a complete invalid in a nursing home, unable to communicate or even push a call button.  I'm sure during some very brief lucid moments she thinks Dang, this sux. 
    7) Which family member or family friend did/do you least like greeting with a kiss?  All of them.  Aspie, aspie, aspie. 
    8 ) It's 4:30 a.m.  You're drunk in a diner. What do you order?  Never ever EVER eat onion rings after Strawberry Hill.  Yes, some of you are shocked that I was ever that stupid.
    9) If you HAD to choose, depending on whichever gender you have affections for, would you rather hook up with: Michael Bolten / Weird Al / or Dick Cheney -or- Roseann Barr / Martha Stewart / or Janet Reno?  Geez, how old is this survey?  And Weird Al hit the list?  Awesome!    I should make my own list.  If you had to choose between these top physicists...  heh heh.
    10) Best concert:  There is no best concert.  When God asks you this question at the pearly gates, remember this question is a ~trick~.
    11) Worst hangover:  Liver toxicity.  ~THAT~ was *fun*.
    12) Favorite childhood Christmas gift:  I was delusional back then.  I think the best gifts are batteries and sox.
    13) Do you wash behind your ears?  I'll never forget discovering what happens when you don't. 
    14) When going camping, do NOT forget to bring:  VICODIN.  
    15) Grossest, most regretable kiss:  The kiss of death.  Pretty gross having a near corpse spasm contents in your face.
    16) Who would you rather moon: Oprah, Katy Couric, or Barbara Walters?  Geez, who wrote this survey?  Have I finally got a middle aged malcontent housewife here? 
    17) Do you let dogs kiss your face (the 4 legged creatures, that is)?  It's odd that you can never repay a dog enough for the sharing of bodily fluids.
    18) Favorite song to shake your bootie to: 
    Weird Al Yankovic - Hardware Store - Music Video
    19) There's a blackout. Candles lit & it's too quiet. Who do you want to be stuck chatting with?  I tell people to shut up during tornado warnings so I can hear the weather spotters on the radio.
    20) Rather have lunch with Bill Cosby, Cindi Lauper or Carrot Top?  It wouldn't matter because I wouldn't show up.  See, survey makers can't trap me into stupid situation experiments.
    21) Say one thing about your belly:  It wants to say something to you guys.  Hang on...  Ok, here is the message- "Send me hot chocolate.  Oh, and some of those little crunchy things."
    Wow, a sudden ending here.  Good.

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I've started transferring my survey posts over to Surveypalooza so people coming in from search engines on mobile devices will be able to see the surveys.


Apologies for the missing vids, another upgrade during the server migration swept through like a scan sweeping through the Enterprise. I'll fix those later, kinda busy...

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