August 21, 2012

  • no idea what to call this stray survey

    What was the last thing you drank?
    Hot chocolate. I so love hot chocolate.

    Where's your cell phone?
    I just want to say right now that I NEVER get weird calls on my cell because I'm unlisted and I'm on a no call list, but an 800# that reverses back to "Will Kemp" from New York came through earlier, and I'm like ok, Will Kemp wants to talk to me... No, I'm not calling it back. Someone prolly wants to sell me something. If he wanted to talk to me bad enough he'd have left voice mail.

    Who was the last person you talked to on the phone for more than an hour?
    That used to happen every time my dad called, but lately he seems to have himself on an egg timer, and I'm wondering what's going on. You never realize how much you'll miss those calls full of instructions on what to do when he dies, like making sure to yank his gold teeth out with a pliers before the funeral home gets them and so no one will dig up his grave to get them, and I'm all like Dad, I am NOT straddling your dead body with tools and tearing up your face to get the gold, I'll go to jail for murder and senior abuse, and he's all like It's ok, you have the right to do it because I told you to, and I'm all like Dad, I do NOT want the nightmares that'll give me the rest of my life... We have some really fun conversations, they stress me out. I wonder if someone told him I'm stressing out and now he isn't talking to me. My stress is getting very complicated.

    Do you know anything about baseball?
    I watch Scott run his fantasy baseball teams over his shoulder. I tell him his players are dogs and laugh at what his coworker writes about him and ask him over and over how much money he's going to lose if he doesn't get his rank up. Watching him sweat is a sport unto itself, cracks me up.

    Do you prefer to listen to music through headphones or on a stereo?
    Headphones, and I'll tell you why. In fact, I've got really expensive headphones that super block outer noise. The last thing I wanna hear when I'm trying to listen to a youtube or some music is people screaming on whatever show Scott is watching, because it's usually bloody and terrible and ridiculous. We get along great because I have these awesome headphones.

    Do you use those little kitchen clips to close bags of chips that you've opened?
    We don't eat chips. Solves a lot more problems than you think.

    If you made your own survey, would it piss you off you saw people giving smart ass answers as if you were asking stupid questions?
    Bingo, this survey maker has *issues*. Getting a few good questions, and bam, attitude.

    Does the story of the Titanic interest you?
    And now I can't help saying that the person who answered these questions before me is one of the single most boring survey takers I've seen in 8 years. ~wow~ I've never seen IQs go in reverse before. I've seen them stall out and stultify, but this one can't be human. Is it possible to epic fail a survey?

    What channel do you watch most often?

    I haven't been watching tv much lately. I went on this book bender and slammed my brain through 6 of them back to back, most of which were 400+ pages, and tv kinda seems lame right now.

    Have you ever voluntarily read the Bible?
    I can't tell you how fun it is to know it better than the door knockers who come to my house.

    Do you use a lot of slang or do you prefer to speak properly?
    "I don't really know." See, this is what I'm talking about. This person is filling out the survey like they're from another planet and aren't quite sure what is being asked of them.

    What's your favorite salad dressing besides ranch?
    I make my own from scratch. It's nearly impossible to find a bottled dressing ~anywhere~ that isn't spiked with lemon or "natural flavor", even when you get balsamic.

    Why is it that pizza always tastes so much better left over?
    It doesn't. If you are hungry enough to eat leftover pizza and too lazy to make something better or there just isn't anything else to eat, then yeah, it tastes really good. If you really think about old pizza, it's just stale sweet bread with a few sorta strong flavors on it, which is sometimes more attractive than going to all the trouble of pancakes and eggs, especially if your blood sugar is bottomed out. Left over pizza is an illusion.

    Do you like to wear high heels?
    I will never, ever forget the first time I saw a girl walking in wedges, way back when they were first invented. She had a hard time walking on chat and getting on the bus, and everyone jeered because they looked so weird. But her family had money and she was on the leading edge of fashion, and the next year all the girls were wearing wedges. Except me. I love my ankles. Ten Reasons to Stash Those Stilettos

    Why do you think most teenagers don't enjoy reading?
    Um... really? Blanket statement alert. I think the activity of reading has so drastically changed that it's not even the same thing it used to be for a lot of people. Between technology and media driven formula, I'm surprised so many teens aren't doing other things instead of loading the internet up with hundreds of thousands of teen surveys...

    Do you enjoy reading? Why?
    Having to laboriously read labels because of food allergies is a drag, and the redundancy of retweets and reblogs seems like such a waste, but yeah, I do get a kick out of other people putting words out there for me to find. It's kinda like brain sex.

    Is your computer more than 5 years old?
    We are finding out the hard way that upgrading to windows 7 suddenly makes our software obsolete. Now I have to pay twice as much for what I need from Print Shop just to get the same amount of product I was getting 5 years ago because the new computer won't interface with it. Oh, that wiley windows 7, I bet all those companies got so excited at the new excuse to boost the market.

    Do you think that eventually people will run out of unique questions to ask on surveys?
    I will never run out of unique answers, no matter how many times some of these questions are repeated.

    How often do you take over the counter pain medications like Tylenol and Aleve?
    Almost never. Do you know how many otc pain relievers contain ibuprofen? I'm allergic to that. And acetaminophen can mess with your liver. One of the most common ailments that affect people as they get older is liver problems. Tylenol May Cause Serious Liver Damage

    Do you find thongs uncomfortable to wear?
    After washing a teenager's thongs throughout middle and high school, I'm so put off that I can't even think they're cute or sexy any more. I also worked in the intimates dept in a big retail chain for several years. I've played with more panties and thongs than anyone I know, thousands and thousands and thousands of them. I think thongs are a gimmick to make money off the self obsessed.

    What’s the unhealthiest thing you’ve done in the past week?
    I don't know that anything I do or eat could be called unhealthy, honestly. I guess breathing the dust stirred up in the chicken pen. Silly chickens. They were bored, pretending to freak out while they're all excited about snacks is ~*fun*~. Youngsters...

    What’s the furthest you’ve gone sexually? Is this more or less than your friends?
    The funniest thing about this question is that I really do have good answers and it kills some people that I never say what they are. I know several people who have 'gone farther' doing stupid things than I have because they were nidiots wanting drugs or something, but I seem to be mysteriously more acutely aware of certain details than most people.

    Tell us the story of how you met your ex.
    It would be a lot more interesting to tell you the story of how it all blew up into the long dark night of the soul.

    Have you ever blocked anyone on Xanga? If so, why?
    I blocked over 5000 people on facebook just to see if I could. Incidentally, it's impossible to block Mark Zuckerberg, facebook's founder. I tried every which way.

    If you’ve never had an orgasm, why not? Are you curious about what it feels like?
    I've lived with a back injury nearly all my life that sets off occasional spontaneous orgasms at the worst possible very public times, stories for around the campfire, I guess.

    Do you alphabetize anything? (your DVD collection, books etc)
    Yes to anything that is set up to automatically alphabetize itself.

    When writing essays, do you have trouble sticking to the word limit?
    How can I *possibly* hold that down to only 50 pages? What do they want, a ~summary~?!? Yeah, I've had to really work on that.

    Are there certain answers to survey questions that make you feel sorry for the taker? (For example Who was your last kiss? I’ve never been kissed)
    I've never felt sorry for myself just because a question has been asked of me. Ok, I lie. I plunge into dark abysmal depressions and take days on some of these surveys, because I'm HONEST. I soul search. I face the crap that life dishes out. I've said it before, if you fill these things out correctly, it's like seeing a psychologist.

    Do you own any cookery books?
    I've stolen a few...

    Do you understand people who have no desire to travel?
    I don't understand people who are proud to be living on the same little patch of land that the previous 8 generations lived and died on. I'd have thrown myself out a window. And then I'd have gotten up and stomped off, because there probably wasn't a window high enough to properly throw myself out of.

    Would you like to receive flowers from a boyfriend, or would you prefer a different type of gift?
    I think the nicest gift anyone can give me is peace and quiet. Usually doesn't last very long.

    Do music videos affect how much you like a song?
    I can't tell you what this one has done for my life.

    Do you know a lot about business?
    I am really, really good at inventory.

    Tell us about something you’ve been worrying about lately.
    If I wind up being expected to come back and do another life, I think I'd really like a twin next time. That intrigues me. I'm not stirring up near the amount of trubba I could be, I need a cohort. Knowing the irony that haunts my soul, though, I'm sure that would backfire and I'd wind up being my own worst enemy.

    What’s your birthstone and do you actually like it? What’s your favourite birthstone?
    I can't keep track of these things, I'm busy digging through youtubes and doing my laundry.

    Do you believe that short men are often arrogant or angry to try to make up for their height?
    I think men are cool. I wrote that. I mean it.


Comments (2)

  • If I could do this as freely as u but it's hell for me to write even a single essay. Usually I buy it on some derpy or something like that.

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I've started transferring my survey posts over to Surveypalooza so people coming in from search engines on mobile devices will be able to see the surveys.


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