Month: October 2012

  • questions people won't ask survey- really?

    Have you ever flirted with your best friend's bf/gf?
    Hey, silly person in Pakistan with your external login attempts, I CAN SEE YOU. Yes, YOU.

    Do you think that you're all that and your probably really not?
    My internal Xanga tracker shows me external login attempts. I've seen several of these from different countries (and a United State) on this silly survey site, my Lexx blog, and my private blog. I'd like to feel flattered, but I fear I'm a random target among many, for the most part. I'm still trying to wrap my head around Michio Kaku's twitter getting hacked last summer, which I witnessed happening live. I hope to never have a nemesis so enamored of me.

    Have you gotten beat up before. Tell the truth.
    This guy made the most beautifully awesome youtube in HD using one of my all-time fave songs that I never tell *anyone*, it was so perfect for the particular fandom I was perusing, but I could not get that youtube to play correctly on my browser for anything, and he had it on a private link and no embedding. There was no way to message him, so I left a comment asking if I could *please* embed just once ~privately~ so I could put a pause button on it, because there was no way I could buffer it in and actually see it, and he pretty much just laughed like I was some dumb sap with a plug in typewriter and said that's too bad... Um. Dude. I totally ripped off your youtube. Why hand out a private link to your twitter followers if you're going to be like that, right? All you had to do was let me see it. Now I ***OWN*** it on my hard drive, and I can watch that HD with my fave song and a show I love on full screen at. my. leisure. any. time. I. want. You can play with tech and think you're too cool for noobs that hang on what you do, and I'll be polite about it, but you kick dirt at this nerd, I'll go own your tech. Oh, and I was able to pin it onto pinterest, too, so suck it. My baditude trumps yours.

    Are you smart or are you dumb?
    I was prolly pretty dumb for just admitting all that.

    If you're a girl, do you scratch your boobs when nobody's looking?
    I don't care if someone's looking, I live in tick and brown recluse country. And if I get a bee sting you'll see me stripping without warning, and if you don't help me get the stinger out because you're too busy being inexperiencedly stupid enough to think it's time to make a point of ogling (this survey creator seems pretty green), I'll rip your arms off.

    Have you ever wanted to have sex with your own gender?
    Do I seem like I'm in a bad mood? My answers look like they're bordering on comic sans violence tonight. My allergies finally just took me all the way down, I'm exhausted and ready to take sandpaper to my itchy eyeballs, and I'm sitting by the door waiting for trick-or-treaters. So far we got a pretty ladybug fairy and a grim reaper. Let's see, sex with my own gender. Nope. I generally don't want sex with anyone. My psychologist is lately taking an amused interest in the fact that I, an aspie asexual, am obsessed with a scifi show mildly spoofing the porn industry driving home the point that no one ever seems to get any sex...

    Are you liking this survey so far?
    Well, it's certainly bringing out my blabby crabby side, so sure, I'd call this survey a success.

    Do you have alot of friends or are you nobody at school?
    I was the same kind of nobody I am now, discreet enough not to be suspect, and exhibitionist enough to constantly be planning evil schemes.

    Are you annoying to most people?
    Everyone who knows me is going YES!!!!

    Can you take the truth, no matter what it is?
    The truth slaps me right in the face so often that I don't think it phases me much any more.

    Would you go suicidal if someone in your family died?
    The laws of robotics won't allow it. I suck at self harming unless I know for a fact I positively *won't* bleed, cry, regret, or die. I'm even afraid to pick sores. I'm not above self inflicting weird kinds of pain, though.

    Is there somebody in your life you hate at this point?
    I don't have the energy to hate anyone. I tried, it's just too draining. It's easier not to think about whoever, like they don't exist. I'm kinda Spongebob-y like that, in my own bubble.

    Are you dreading something right now?
    I'm wondering if I turn off the front light at 8:00 and close the blinds and go off in another room we'll suddenly get a mob of trick-or-treaters with toilet paper and eggs. Actually, that only used to happen to a guy up the street who was a teacher in the high school, but we never got papered or egged because we were the cool house. But still, you never know. Halloween is kind of like playing out a ritualistic protection racket.

    While taking this, did you start thinking about your true self?
    Wow, really? I don't hide my true self, my true self is always what you get. I think it's sad that so much of the world assumes we all hide our true selves, as if there is another self inside we have to protect all the time. The world is so full of haters, see what this survey is doing to me, it's making me sad thinking about haters. Go away, survey! I want to be done with you!!!!

    Would you date somebody on Valentine's Day just to get something for Valentine's?
    I know people who do that, and I'm totally disgusted that people purposely blind themselves with hope and allow other people to use them like that in the name of love. It's so much simpler being asexual. You wouldn't believe the crap I see right through. I can predict any couple's demise with uncanny accuracy, based on one's selfishness and the other's gullibility. When you have to buy into a holiday for love, it's not love, capiche? Scheduling romantic gooey stuff on a calendar is ridiculous, especially when money is expected to be involved. Survey maker, I'm on your side on this one. You are right to be suspicious.

    Have you ever broke somebody's heart and didn't care?
    You have broke my heart with that incorrect verb tense and all the typos you made earlier.

    Did you go to Pre-K?
    K was bad enough, so thank goodness I didn't. And thank goodness this survey is over! The light is off now, Halloween is over, I'm going to get my pajamas on and load up on benadryl.

  • knock yourself out survey from tumblr

    Knock yourself out:
    • 1: What are you wearing?
    My real sheepskin woolly slippers hand sewn by a guy up the highway. Misty Mountain Sheepskin Co.
    • 2: Ever been in love?
    One of the being-a-nerd requirements is a certain innate puniness. I get warm fuzzies when I see I'm not alone in my afflictions, and I guess a lot of other nerds do, too, because at 14 hours Wil Wheaton had over 500 comments on his post on facebook about being puny. We're here for you, Wil Wheaton. Any puny nerd who can get continual consistent response over simply eating burritos, quaffing homemade brewskies, and racing to get nearly nude middle age beach photos up before the paparazzi can has won the game of thrones. Only 2 people in my life have a clue who you are or what the whole apology thing about pinterest was, but -oh yes- you have won.
    • 3: Ever had a terrible breakup?
    Don't I wish. Every year, ladybugs swarm by the thousands out of the woods and find their way into my house. You never see a horror thriller about a ladybug infestation because it's just so stupid. Spiders and flies actually use a little cunning, calculating their moves, sneaking around, quickly retreating. Ladybugs just suddenly fly up your nose without warning, or dive straight down into your glass of milk, or crawl maddeningly through your clothes and hair, and your hands and fingers slip right over them while their little sticky feet cling like velcro. You don't even feel the tiny little crunches, you just discover the carnage later on the bottom of your sock. Ladybugs have no sense of self preservation, no red flags going off that a move might possibly be a drastically wrong one to make, no decision making skills based on past experience, no avoidance behaviors. They simply just impulsively do stuff for no rhyme or reason without warning. One lit on the edge of my glasses and started walking along the inside, I automatically put my finger up to wipe it off, once disrupted it flitted right over to my eyelid and just started walking around, I had to take my glasses OFF trying to grab hold of its tiny little round body without smashing it to bits in my EYE... I've had to dig them out of my ears, too, which is a special little Disney experience all its own. You almost can't feel them on you at all, they're hard to see, so when you go to the bathroom you have to make sure one hasn't fallen into your underwear before you pull them up, because that's a little treat you really don't want in your life. I find them in the laundry, the fridge, cake batter, my keyboard, my dishwater, randomly scattered on the bed. Eventually they'll all gather in upper corners and light fixtures and dry out to death, collecting dust and crumbling away. Scott likes to be kind to them and scoop them up and carry them outside. Several more follow or ride back in, and he never even sees them. It's ridiculous.
    • 4: How tall are you?
    This gets really dumb when a pulmonologist makes you take off your shoes and practically draws a chalk outline on a wall and then a nurse in another office pronounces him wrong by half an inch because she's holding a stack of stuff in one hand and a pen in the other while she flies through a yearly wellness exam, and suddenly you find that the certifiable 5'4" you've been most of your life gets crossed out and changed to 5'3 1/2" by a dingleberry. Some people have way too much power.
    • 5: How much do you weigh?
    This differs by as much as ten pounds from my scale to a doctor's office to the freight scale at Scott's work on the same day within 2 hours. I'm not sure there really is such a thing as accuracy. I think one of the post offices around here is stiffing me on packages.
    • 6: Any tattoos do you want?
    I'm afraid to even use the peel and stick, too many allergic reactions. And my luck I'd be the one to get someone who couldn't spell properly or see straight. And cosmic irony would dictate that if I were to get one, something about it would get screwed up enough no one would know what it was and I'd have to explain it. And seriously, I'm not sure I could part with that kind of money just to have someone poke my skin up with little needles.
    • 7: Any piercings that you want?
    I'm constantly piercing myself in the kitchen, I can't imagine paying someone to do that on purpose. By the way, I'm not a self cutter because I'm terrified of infection. Cutting up raw meat and slipping some of it neatly into parts of your hand that should never know the rotting DNA of another being and then developing a weird dark patch or streak is NOT cool, especially when you're allergic to most of the antibiotics out there.
    • 8: OTP?
    My reticence comes from being naturally wary of too-easy technology that, while being our friend, also seeks to monitor and steer us.
    • 9: Favorite Show?
    Lately it's Merlin, and I'll tell you why. No blood. After years of butchering and illness and dealing with hard emotional stuff (like an 'escorted' abortion- my psychologist says it was forced) and then going through severe hormone deprivation last spring and wigging out, I am GRATEFUL I can watch a cool tv show that doesn't make a big deal about being realistic with blood and gore. THANK YOU, Merlin creators, for creating a story I can actually get into without having to wade through all my old traumas. If you've been fortunate enough to have never been sprayed liberally with blood from another living being, or be blood soaked up to your shoulders cleaning up or dealing with someone's birth or death or whatever, bless your innocence, and I thank you for not dissing people who just can't take it anymore.
    • 10: Favorite bands?
    I've been stuck on Eiffel 65 again lately.
    • 11: Something you miss?
    I was wondering earlier today if I should maybe crochet another afghan. It's been a really long time since I've done that, and maybe I'd like to make something purply.
    • 12: Favorite song?
    It's also been a long time since I listened to some sultry smoky saxophone music. Kind of in a mood.
    • 13: How old are you?
    I am continually surprised at how much better than my mom I look at this age.
    • 14: Zodiac sign?
    Scorpio, Ox, and anything else that signifies unrepentant stubbornness.
    • 15: Hair Color?
    Still the same bland natural mousy brown, but it's getting longer. Sort of.
    • 16: Favorite Quote?
    Bowler: You oughta run, Tony P.
    Tony P: You can't hurt me, Baby Bowler. 'Cause I'm protected by
    the god of hair care. (demonstrates his flaming hairspray) And it's
    time to send you back to your daddy.
    Bowler: (pulling Carmine out of his bag) You killed my father.
    Tony P: That's right. 'Cause I'm a killer. (Carmine flies out of the
    room on his own, and around behind the other side of the stairs)
    And you're not. Let's face it, kid...You don't have the guts to kill
    Bowler: You're right. I don't have the guts to kill you. Because I'm
    better than you. Yeah, that's right. A lot better. You know, I may
    even find the courage to forgive you someday.
    (Carmine flies around, slamming into Tony P and driving him
    partway through a wall.)
    Bowler: Oh! Carmine, on the other hand, feels differently than I do
    about forgiveness.
    (Carmine rolls into his bag, and Bowler picks it up.)
    Bowler: (into bag) Okay, now I'm going back to graduate school. That
    was the agreement.

    • 17: Favorite singer?
    I always have to come back to Weird Al on this one. Between the food songs and scifi parodies and nuking Christmas and doing everyone from Joan Jett to Lady Gaga, I really don't think anyone else can hold a candle. Here, enjoy one of my fave fun singalongs.
    • 18: Favorite color?
    You can look up your fave color at Color: Meaning, Symbolism and Psychology
    • 19: Loud music or soft?
    I like silence throughout most of my day the last couple of years. I feel like I'm processing or something, after many years of continual noise and work and music and television and radio and stuff.
    • 20: Where do you go when you're sad?
    I have been so deep in my head since I was teeny tiny that I'm not sure I can cope any other way. I have been thrilled to find other people producing things that I thought only existed in my head, so somehow some of us wind up in some of the same places, apparently. I can't help wondering why a significant number of us seem to create visions of other places (planets), other times, other technologies (cities), other biologies and ecologies. It's like we were born to do this, either to remember something we've forgotten during this life or feel compelled to create something that somehow can't really exist, which seems illogical unless it really is possible. I feel like living here in this time and place is an exercise of patience and learning, a sort of pit stop for recharging, or a slam through understanding hard things very quickly, depending on what's happening in our lives. Sadness just doesn't seem like a natural survival tool, so I think there are other reasons it exists for us.
    • 21: How long does it take you to shower?
    All the years I've been avoiding shower questions... I may as well just be honest, can you handle that? Too late, here it comes. I have anxiety attacks in the shower. Sometimes they get so bad it's hard to breathe. I shower as quickly as humanly possible without compromising hygiene and get outa there. I've been having anxiety attacks around water since I was a little bitty kid, prolly because of the Asperger's. I was able to swim for a few years and be ok, and I enjoyed hot baths for a few years, but that's all gone now. There is no joy in getting wet, there's just way too much sensation over too much area all at once, and I can smell when the water's been treated and the difference between city waters and well waters (especially between rainy and drought seasons) when it gets steamy. It doesn't help that I have allergic reactions to soaps and shampoos. On the other hand, I can't stand feeling grimy or gross, so washing my hair and hands and whatever might get a little compulsive sometimes.
    • 22: How long does it take you to get ready in the morning?
    I can be out the door from a dead sleep in 5 minutes flat if I have to, but I'd rather snail around with coffee and my computer and whatever for 3 hours first.
    • 23: Ever been in a physical fight?
    My favorite kind of fight is with a rooster. Those nidiots love it when you egg them on, and they stalk you across the yard and then launch, and all you have to do is swivel a hip and knock them off balance in mid air, and dang if they don't get up and dust off and come back for more, because that was ~fun~.
    • 24: Turn on?
    I have always been stopped dead in my tracks by these kinds of colors. The compulsion to buy whatever is these colors is so strong that I wrestle with myself for several minutes before I can walk away. Could be a shirt, could be something I see in a catalog, could be toys or crayons or stationary. If I were a bower bird, this would be considered an instinct. I wish chickens had feathers in these colors.

    • 25: Turn off?
    Any kind of screaming and yelling, angry shouting, loud boisterousness, mocking, basically the unpleasant end of the scale in human voices.
    • 26: The reason I joined Tumblr?
    Colin Morgan fans. They are delightfully entertaining. I think some of them have gone so far overboard that Colin himself has become a caricature, but it's still cute how joyfully creative they can be. I don't think most of them realize how utterly rabid they look, a weird sort of innocence in consuming Colin as a product, kind of like someone in a fantasy story not realizing they're a werewolf or something. If I were an actor I'd be terrified of fans, but my social anxiety is off the wall anyway.
    • 27: Fears?
    I seriously sometimes wake up very upset that I just remembered I've ditched too many classes to pass a college class, and I'm going to have to retake it next semester, and it takes about ten minutes to remember I haven't been in college for some years, and that I've never actually skipped classes to that extent in real life, and I never really feared college like that. I have no idea where that comes from, but every time it happens I feel very upset. (Metaphor for life kind of thing...? May have to bring this one up with my psychologist.)
    • 28: Last thing that made you cry?
    It's funny how you can get through 20 years of living a certain way and then it hits you one day that you never really had what you wished for, and when you sift it all down to the root of why, you can see every bit of it came from parents who simply didn't have a clue how to just enjoy having and loving children and everything you've done as an adult revolves around trying to please other people while you set yourself aside as less important. That's such an empty hole to notice, and it immediately makes me think of all the ways I must have failed my own children, although they've insisted I'm pretty cool.
    • 29: Last time you cried?
    Some day someone's going to ask me the last time I huzzahed. Those fleeting joyous moments should get a little more credit in our days.
    • 30: Meaning behind your url
    I suspect this means tumblr url. I swear, I had no idea there was another Pinky Guerrero out there, and a semi-famous one at that, and ironically I got her twitter name before she did and she has to use the underscore with her name, and it's just too funny when she forgets to do that and tells everyone to reply to *my* twitter name. I bet she hates me. But she got pinterest before I did, so it all balances out. She's got the dotcom, I've got the xanga blog AND the myspace, oh yeah, AND the fanpop. She's the self purported super woman who does it all, I'm the loser has-been geeky nerd who lurks around under several different names being weird, making Lexx posts and raising chickens and obsessing over surveys, and many other things that I don't feel the need to resume (I verbed the noun resume, hope that didn't confuse you) out to the world on a website. I wish other-Pinky much success and a happy life. I'll pretend that's another me in a parallel world so my own existence will be validated with the feeling of balance in the nature of the cosmic irony that is my life.
    • 31: Last book you read?
    I love the library, it saves me untold tens of thousands of dollars that I'd otherwise compulsively spend in book stores. My reading list this year is about 30 books long so far. The last one I worked on was in the Gears of War series, and I've recently started Book of the Navajo. I've never really kept track of what I read, but when I do start listing, people's eyes tend to glaze over. My latest amazon book purchase was a 10 pound monstrosity called The History of Food. I could be exaggerating about the ten pounds.
    • 32: Last song you listened to?
    The whole Lexx tv show soundtrack. Just seemed like the right thing to plug into the car this week.
    • 33: Last show you watched?
    Always Sunny in Philadelphia. Super fave, big fan, hope it lasts forever. I am especially enamored of Liam McPoyle for some reason. He is one creepy dude.
    • 34: Last person you talked to?
    A complete stranger from a faraway place. I should have hung up *before* it got ugly. I don't like it when it gets ugly. People being paid to get ugly is a cancer on our planet.
    • 35: The relationship between you and the person you last texted?
    Daughter once removed...? She came out of my sister, but it feels like she's sorta mine. My DNA recognizes her and I can't help it, all the rest is built in.
    • 36: Favorite food?
    Every favorite food I've listed in surveys has wound up on my food allergies list in the last couple of years, so now I feel like I'm jinxing myself to even talk about having a favorite food.
    • 37: Place you want to visit?
    I think it would be cool to go see the Mockingbird Lane set, new series coming on NBC. I love that house.
    • 38: Last place you were?
    Isn't it magical how Walmart can transform overnight into new holidays? And isn't it magical how when I'm in there I feel more holiday luv and cheer than anywhere else? I think it's all the bright colors. Warm fuzzies have a lot to do with color, I think. I bet there is a whole marketing science around that. Ok, I know there is because I worked retail for a few years. ~*magical*~
    • 39: Do you have a crush?
    I always have a crush. Person, place, or thing, if I don't have some kind of obsession going, something is very wrong with me. Fortunately for the world at large, my obsessions are like lightning storms coming and going, because if I were to focus on one obsession for ten years straight like some people I know can, I would be either very rich or very mental (possibly both), and either way I'd be the most evil genius about it you ever met. At least this way I'm mostly harmless.
    • 40: Last time you kissed someone?
    Scott has seemed extra huggy and cuddly lately, and it's the middle of bow season and the Vikings lost recently. I'm perplexed. Maybe it's because I made his favorite Halloween cookies or something. Halloween brings out that special feeling, I know.
    • 41: Last time you were insulted and what was it?
    I don't keep track. Being insulted actually means you're worth enough to get someone's attention, and if they're making the time to come at you, then they're pretty much admitting they're jealous and can't get over something and unable go on with their lives. Next time you insult someone else, stand back and watch all the moments tick through your emotions and thoughts and see if I'm not right. If you are very honest with yourself, you will notice that whatever stopped you and caught your attention really has its root inside yourself somewhere somehow.
    • 42: What color underwear are you wearing?
    Dang, you caught me on a white day. How boring I am. I've always been jealous that guys get the underoos kind of thing, and everything cool that girls get is girlied up guy underwear. Since I worked almost 5 years in an intimates department in a big retail chain, I tend to notice this kind of stuff. I am especially jealous that John Barrowman gets to disrobe all the time because his underwear is so cool. Underwear for women that I would totally buy if it were available would include My Little Pony and anything with any kind of starship on it.

    • 43: What color shirt are you wearing?
    I've got to get me some new t-shirts, it's getting really old how many times I've been wearing my ancient red Homestar Runner tee when this question comes up.
    • 44: What color bottoms are you wearing?
    Well, you asked.
    • 45: Wearing any bracelets?
    Only when I leave the house. Someday I'll take a pic of my allergy bracelets.
    • 46: Last sport you played?
    I'm in the middle of pastry chef-ing for a Halloween party, kind of a sport to beat the clock when you get down to crunch time. Yeah, the truth comes out, I run back and forth to my laptop doing a question here or there on surveys as a way to destress. Bet you guys thought I had my lazy butt parked just sitting here, didn't you? I think I've mentioned before that surveys can take me days to fill out, something I didn't make clear in the olden days when I got fussed at for 'wasting time'.
    • 47: Last song you sang?
    I tried to do the Horoscope song with Weird Al.
    • 48: Last prank call you remember doing?
    I really need to remember this angle the next time a snotty stranger gets through on the phone.
    • 49: Last time you hung out with anyone?
    Me and Scott hang out all the time.
    • 50: Favorite movie?
    I tried answering this once. It turned into a list monstrosity that I couldn't stop adding to. I finally just put it into my profile. Every time I feel like deleting it I remember how caught up in it I got, so I leave it there to deter me from getting caught in that again. We may never know what my favoritist movie of all time really is.

  • I Try To Excercise My Demons, But They've Gotten Out Of Shape. -survey


    How often do you take painkillers?
    Almost never. I am the T800 of the pain world. Too many med allergies and adverse reactions.
    Are they prescribed?
    Yep, but I can't do meds, I just deal. You know, like fantasize about poking blunt wire coat hangars into my spine for homemade acupuncture. I don't really do it, that would actually hurt more. I think the visual bullies my nervous system into submission so I won't faint or throw myself over the railing.
    Do you curse in average conversations?
    'Cursing' loses so much of its value if you use it in average conversations. I shock people silly because I do it so rarely, they really pay attention. And isn't that how words are supposed to be, powerful and meaningful?
    Do you own any leather?
    Leather is cooler when it's worked by real Native American women through a special program enabling them to make some money. Southwest Indian Foundation - Navajo, Zuni, and other native crafts...
    Do you party because you like it or because you're supposed to?
    I party because there's food.
    Who's the person you think about when you're lying awake?
    Sometimes I think about how nice it would be to get up and eat a cookie.
    Have you ever bought a shot glass?
    Those are so cute. I tried starting a collection, but I suck at collecting. I once got one from Jackass, Colorado, but things have changed so much that I don't know if that would be at Cripple Creek now, or if there is a place by Jackass Canyon, and whether that is near Jackass Hill Park (in Arapahoe County, CO). I just remember 30 years ago they were trying to save an old ghost town and selling stuff out of what used to be a real saloon, and my friend from the army base was taking me all over sight seeing. She is part Indian and really into cool stuff like that.
    Do you have a therapist?
    Ha, I have more than one.
    Have you ever wanted to be a superhero?
    I'd rather be one of the Mystery Men.
    Do you like menthol cigarettes?
    Those are no substitute for toothpaste. And no, when I did smoke heavily (Camel Lights, for trivia enthusiasts) and ran out one day, I bummed a menthol off someone and like to died. Those so suck. But that was around 25 years ago. I stopped smoking after I worked for a 40 year old chain smoker who looked 60. I'm 50 now and look 40. If that's not incentive to quit, I don't know what is. If you're still too young to take that seriously, I was in my mid-20's when I quit. You don't get your young skin back, no matter what smokers believe about their lungs miraculously healing the second you stop smoking, and that's why they put off quitting till later.
    Do you ever fall for spam mail?
    My dad still falls for spam phone calls, you know, the kind where you get an automated message that says call this 900 number, so he does, because he wants *answers*, he wants to know who is bugging him all day long with these calls, he wants to talk to a real person. We've gone in circles getting him onto a no call list and instructing him NOT TO CALL ANYONE BACK that he doesn't know (especially explaining how you get charged extra for calling 900 numbers), and seriously, whoever came up with the idea to scam old people like that is a genius, because it sure does work. And how about this one? Elderly St. Louis widow racks up $14,000 in magazine subscriptions |
    Ever used an online dating site?
    I would have to explain how violent I get without warning because I'm super ticklish... I'm sure I'd wind up in jail, because what guy wouldn't see that as a challenge? Thankfully, a mutual friend hooked me up with Scott, I accepted that as a good decision because I suck at that kind of stuff, and next year will be our 20th. I can't even imagine trusting a dating site. What if I actually got someone romantic and gooey? What would I do??? I couldn't be cool on a date if I tried. The first time Scott and I went out I accidentally (as opposed to on purpose...) flipped a steak knife through the air and just missed an old lady at the next table, and the knife was actually sticking up out of the floor. I can't see that being a plus as a description for online dating. They'd have a cautionary disclaimer up on me. Scott wasn't deterred because I had my blouse unbuttoned a little bit further than I normally wear. I guess that really works, huh? That or he thought my knife throwing was sexy.
    What color do you wear the most?
    Black. This is kind of surprising for people who know that I love Lisa Frank and Weird Al.
    Do you only eat cough drops because you like the taste?
    I finally discovered all the croup was coming from food reactions. When they finally exploded into full blown wheezy allergic reactions and I stopped eating those foods, I was able to stop sucking on cough drops. If you're tired of sucking on cough drops and using inhalers, try a rotation diet and see if that gives you some relief. I couldn't believe what a huge change that was for me.
    Have you ever gotten a good grade in math class?
    No one ever asks if I got in trouble in home ec. Which I did. A lot.
    Do you have a tumblr account?
    Tumblr is like a bomb going off in the fan world, it's like board surfing a runaway freight train down a steep mountain pass. It's ~fun~. Yeah, I know, I've whined about tumblr in the past... I still do. My nvidia card goes beserk and blacks out sometimes when I load tumblr. Nothing else I do ever causes that. The Geek Squad told me my laptop is fine. Bad tumblr! But it's still ~fun~.
    Have you ever seen a ghost?
    It's really super creepy walking by a doorway in an empty church you're cleaning and seeing the back of someone's head over an office chair, and then when you turn back to talk to them, there is no one there.
    The worst one you ~ever~ met. And meds give me nightmares that make horror films look like Care Bears. I'd rather just not sleep.
    What do you think of the last person you texted?
    She's one of my top 5 fave people in the whole world. My list only goes up to 5. Everyone else is not on any kind of list.
    Have your parents ever walked in on you having sex?
    I feel I must issue a cautionary warning in case some of you who know me might feel a little stunned that I'd actually say this. I grew up with spontaneous orgasms and neuro stim compulsions, I think just about everyone caught me having sex of some kind until I hit the 3rd grade and figured out the whole privacy thing. (Kindergarten and first grade were nightmares.) Whoever just fell outa your chair, it's a brain thing, I have asperger's and weird stuff going on with my nervous system core, I'm not a nymph, and in fact quite asexual toward other people. I know, it's weird, get used to it, and don't bug me about it. I won't be answering any messages that come through full of questions about this one.
    Have you ever lied about being a virgin?
    True story. I was actually a virgin months after I got married because my first husband turned out to be a pedophile and wasn't doing it right, and I didn't know the difference. My first gyno doc pulled him aside and asked him if he knew what he was doing...
    Are Australian accents attractive?
    Any kind of accent is cool.
    Do you like getting stoned?
    I absolutely hate it. My brain claws its way out of my skull in full blown panic attacks any time I've been given *anything* to calm me down, legal or not. The adverse reactions I have are akin to hysteria. I'm more fun with a teeny tiny buzz, you know, like half an aspirin and a cup of milked down coffee.
    Have you ever gotten a bloody nose from snorting cocaine?
    I got a bean caught in my nose when I was little.
    Have you ever smoked cocaine?
    Not to my knowledge, and they all swear it was only a joint, so basically I was high as a kite for 12 hours off of two puffs. If everyone's heads were as twisted as mine gets on meds and drugs, you'd all be wary of ever doing more. I can only imagine that an acid trip would prolly have been like turning the Joker loose on Gotham City, good thing I never tried it.
    Do you own a full set of colored pencils?
    I have, and pens, and crayons, and paints, and embroidery threads, and confectionary decorations, and colored papers, and footies.... I am wildly attracted to color palettes, color studies, colors. That's probably where all my sex drive got shunted over to in my synesthesia, colors and patterns and textures.
    Who's the most attractive female you've ever seen?
    I really like S.E. Cupp. It's probably her glasses. They're like power frames. I watch Real News on the Blaze just to watch her talk.
    Have you ever seriously questioned your sexuality?
    I've always known exactly who I am. What I have seriously questioned are people who don't have a clue who they are and still try to tell me who I am.
    Red, white, yellow, or pink roses?
    I grew up with yellow roses in the yard, so I love seeing yellow roses. But I love roses regardless, and I like champagne roses in a bouquet. What's really super cool is yellow and orange frosting roses on a chocolate autumn decorated cake. I could really run away with this question. My birthday is next week, how much you wanna bet I make a chocolate cake now with orange and red and yellow autumn decorations.
    What's the worst name your mom has ever called you?
    It's so mean and stupid that I'm not ever going to repeat it. And it's not at all anything you could possibly think it might be.
    Do you think someone would ever want to marry you?
    I couldn't believe Scott wanted to, but here we still are.
    Do you know who Jim Morrison is?
    The word 'hedonist' popped into my head as soon as I read that. Ethical hedonism is kind of the thing now, wonder how Jim would have done with the emo crowd. Prolly about the same. I can see him becoming a Cthulhu activist (like Conceptual Coma Activism, as it were, perhaps...?) (My free associating is kicking in, I must be getting tired enough to try sleeping.)
    Have you ever done acid?
    No one wants me to ever do acid. I'm sure I'd wind up in prison.
    Were you at a rave?
    I get migraines, I can't do the whole light strobing psychelectro music thing without having to kill someone.
    Can you usually tell when someone's lying?
    I assume everyone is.
    Have you ever made a mistake just so you could feel miserable?
    Recrimination is not my strong point. I suck at baiting myself psychologically. People who feed off their own emotions like a drug mystify me. I'm terribly Vulcan in that regard.
    Do you like Thanksgiving?
    I love it when I get to stay in my pajamas and watch the parade and drink hot chocolate while everyone else is in a different house chaotically bumping out a gigantic dinner, and then I get to eat stuffed cornish hens and watch something cool from all the nerdy programming that comes on during holidays while other people in another house do a mountain of dishes and drag out a Christmas tree, and then I snack my way through evening football while other people hang around in a different house planning their chaotic Black Friday shopping frenzies. I've tried being more interactive, honestly I have, but I can't help dreading Thanksgiving because I go into aspie overload.
    How about Christmas?
    I've been so sharply disillusioned that I simple can't reconcile the driving madness of consumer spending with the 'reason for the season'. My fave ever Christmas movie is A Very Sunny Christmas. To be fair, though, I was the Christmas kid growing up, and I worked in Kringles Christmas Store one year. I can't believe they don't have the train shop listed, #4 on the map. I started out in there.
    Do you believe in soul mates?
    I ran into a quote somewhere about how interesting it is that most people find their "soul mates" within so many short miles of their homes. I don't have a soul mate. I've never yet run into anyone who clicks with me like that. Cosmic irony would dictate that most of us either have generic 'soul mate' slots, or that our one, true soul mate is on the other side of the planet and born 60 years too early or too late. You know, the next time someone asks me what my religion is, I think I'll say "Cosmic Irony", because that seems to answer to just about everything I go through in this life. The faith required is skepticism. I'm really good at that. If I do have a soul mate, that person is in another galaxy about eight and a half billion years before or after my time.
    Do you post pictures where you look good but your friends look bad?
    I guess the first mistake is thinking I have friends, and the second is thinking I give a crap how I look.
    Are you friends with any of your exes?
    I guess the first mistake is thinking my exes are normal sane people, and the second is thinking that I don't wish they were dead.
    Have you ever thought you were drowning?
    I nearly did once, and it's not like you think. Arguing with a little brat to let me put my hand on his float device out in 30 feet of lake water before I could pass out was priceless. It was more like he pissily pulled me back to shore so he could go tell his parents on me while I lay on the rocks and broken glass in spasms trying to breathe. Took awhile before I could get up. I owe that kid my life.
    What's the most embarrassing artist you have on your ipod?
    I have yet to get an ipod. I can't imagine putting someone I think is embarrassing into my music collection. It would surely contain, however, everything Weird Al Yankovic has ever put out.
    Would you ever wait for someone for more than ten years?
    My sister did that. She has two kids now, and they're really cute and super smart. I'd call that worth it. I made Scott wait 3 years to marry me so I'd know he'd really stick around.
    Do you know someone in the army?
    Several people, and a few in the Marines. I'm not really supposed to tell you if they've been in black ops.
    Do gay people make you uncomfortable?
    The only thing that makes me uncomfortable is when people (of any orientation) think it's their business to get all up in my business.
    Do straight people make you uncomfortable?
    True story. I divorced a pedophile, so I was a single mom with his kid. I went to a ladies bible class and those gabbers sat around discussing whether or not it was 'legal' for me to remarry (I was sitting *right there*), as if nothing I'd been through carried any weighty importance in the matter. ANY person who does KIDS is CHEATING on their spouse. Get it? Could that be any more stupid than debating it if I'd divorced a rapist? To even reduce these things to whether or not it's 'adultery' by definition and then discuss them like I'm the one who'd better be careful about getting the scarlet letter is the stupidest most nidiotically calloused thing I've ever been through in a church setting. I never went back to that ladies bible class. I don't think God invented humans to be tiny minded.
    Do you ever wear colored eye liner?
    I'm so allergic that my eyes actually lean out over my lids and power hose it all off 20 minutes after I've applied it. My only recourse is to tattoo makeup on, but after a nasty bout of Bell's Palsy, I'm SO glad I never did that. There's nothing stupider than half your face not matching the other half in permanent makeup. Fortunately it's mostly all healed, but that would have been 4 months of mortifying hell, wouldn't it?
    Target or Walmart?
    Target carries Caribou coffee. Walmart carries everything else.
    Have you ever used crest white strips? Did they work?
    Actually, I think it would be more interesting to color my teeth and have jewels and gold filigree set into them. Dental Jewelry Tooth Diamond Online Purchase from Twinkles
    Who's the last person you made a mix cd for?
    This question is so ten years ago. I'm the only person I know who still actually uses a real cd player.
    Did you ever have a thing for any of your teachers?
    Yeah, I loathed them.
    Do you exercise every day?
    My brain has a 12-pack. But yes, actually, I do exercise, thanks to Chris Hardwick.
    Have you ever used a darkroom?
    I would love to live on a planet whose daylight never got more intense than full solar eclipse level. Sunlight winking off waves of water and tree leaves is beautiful, but my worst headache days are high photon days. If you see me in dark glasses, it's not because I'm wasted or beaten up. And yes, I know what a darkroom is. I had special instructions on when and how to clean around them in a hospital. I'm really curious how the survey creator wouldn't know that darkroom is all one word, since it seems like a question one would ask only if one were familiar with using one. I fixed it for you. You're welcome.
    How many hours of sleep did you get last night?
    About 4. It was a decent night.
    Have you ditched any classes today?
    I keep forgetting about my account at Fanpop.
    What does the word 'Candy' mean to you?
    I love these guys.
    Have you ever listened to Christian music?
    This is an interesting question in the exercising demons survey... I love the word play in that title, by the way, best survey title I've ever run into. You get a 'good job!' sticker.
    Are you the 'creative child'?
    I am the Elephant's Child. I ask ever so many questions.
    Would you ever dye your hair pink?
    I'm trying to grow it out so I can. And blue, and purple...
    Do you have a dirty mind?
    I apparently have such a clean mind that even when you explain the joke to me, it takes me two days to get it. Actually, I'm like that with all kinds of jokes.
    Do you ever masturbate?
    I'm surprised this question is reduced to a simple yes or no type question.
    Are you embarrassed about your sex life or lack there of?
    I've been correcting all the typos. I want to ask back- are you embarrassed about your language skills or lack thereof? I mean, the questions are pretty good, and for the most part the grammar and punctuation are spot on, which is so rare in surveys. Ok, anyway, back to the question. I'm not embarrassed at all.
    Who's the last person you said I love you to?
    I'm so used to just saying it at the end of a phone conversation or as I'm parting ways after a visit that sometimes it slips out to complete strangers, like a tram driver, or a grocery checkout clerk. It gets pretty funny.
    What's your stance on spooning?
    I don't cuddle well.
    Have you ever seen a shooting star?
    Maybe I'm lucky, because yes, I did. I didn't know what it was at first. I was driving home really late one night after work, and saw a weird vague tiny glowy light sort of ahead of me, and I couldn't tell what it was. It kind of seemed like it was moving, but not in any direction, and just as I realized it was coming right at ME because it was getting bigger real fast, it popped apart and disappeared. So I think I saw a meteorite, which technically is a shooting star.
    Did you make a wish or do you not believe in that crap?
    I make lots of wishes, all the time, you don't need a meteorite for that. Some of them come true anyway, because statistically, the more you wish, and the bigger variety of things wished for, the chances increase that a small percentage of them will come true. And if you really want them to come true, make sure they're not incredibly impossible kinds of wishes. Magic happens all around us, and our brains are powerful things. Wish as though you really believe, and you might just change your life.
    Did you like your life when you were in middle school?
    I was a rugrat in middle school. I wore hand me downs and braces, my mom didn't let me wear makeup (and I don't remember if I even had deodorant, probably not), and I got picked on mercilessly. I don't recall liking much at all during that era.
    Have you ever been 'popular'?
    'Wildly so'.
    Has someone ever tried to convert you?
    Adults telling 5 year olds that they'll go to hell if they don't get saved *right now* isn't 'conversion', it's terrorists brainwashing little kids.
    Are you thin?
    Sometimes my patience is. You know how people say someone has the patience of Job? That's me. He's really not a patient guy, if you actually read it.
    Do you like big earrings?
    I think it's neat when people hang Christmas ornaments from their ears.
    Are you scared of your future?
    I've already put my order in for my next life, long list of 'no way' stuff.
    Are you a whiskey person?
    I made some really delicious pork cutlets for lunch, and I can't stop eating them. Scott won't have any left over for work. For the small minded, I nearly killed myself on whiskey many years ago. Liver toxicity sucks about as bad as anything you'll ever go through, so wean down off the alcohol, ok? Don't cold turkey if you're a heavy drinker, like I did, you can go into liver shock. Some of you are going, Yeah, but pork cutlets aren't good for your liver, either, and I'm going, Yeah, but my blood work is the best it's ever been, and that kind of argument won't save your liver if you're still drinking.
    Are you a coward?
    I told you about the spider that was as big as my foot, right? Another survey back there.
    Do you ever listen to oldies?
    I need Darkwing Duck theme music following me around.

    Are you good at making conversation?
    Not really, I just free associate everyone to death.
    Do you go on a lot of dates?
    My new Merlin calendar arrived in the mail today!!!! The photos are huge. I usually write all over my wall calendars, but there is no way I'm going to mess up this one. So I'll have to buy another one...

    Have you ever been told that you dress like a slut?
    I couldn't look slutty if I tried. Scott walked through here this morning looking slutty... I was elbow deep in dish water, and he came back in from deer hunting with most of his clothes all stripped off, and seriously, this is the ONLY time I get to see him in those cool bike underwear that wicks away moisture, he walked over to the microwave and caught my eye, my head turned automatically while my brain went shwaaaaaa? and before I could even think I blurted out, Wow, you look good! Then I ran for my camera, and he managed to elude me. I tried to convince him of how glad he'll be when he's 90 that I took this picture, but the guy just doesn't have that preening instinct, and he wouldn't be still, and every shot I got was blurry because I couldn't think straight to work the camera right. So now if I get Alzheimer's and forget what I saw, I won't have anything to back it up.
    What's the best compliment you've ever received?
    Scott says if anything ever happens to me he'll die because his cooking is so bad that he'll go back to twinkies and hot dogs. For Scott to admit that he'd be helpless without someone is HUGE.
    Do you still watch cartoons?
    The most tv I've watched this year is SD ComicCon stuff and Merlin. Sunny in Philadelphia is back, so now I'm watching that, too. I guess you could say every bit of that is rather cartoony. I really don't watch much tv otherwise.
    Are you a comic book geek?
    No, but I married one whose mom threw all his old comic books away that would be worth millions now. I hear that every little bit. And he has a Batman t-shirt and lunchbox. I got the Spiderman lunchbox.
    When's the last time you had Starbucks?
    Never. We used to drive to another state to pick up Caribou, but now HyVee and Target carry it, so we're good.
    Was it worth the ridiculous pricing?
    My youngest worked at a Starbucks for awhile, she thought it was ridiculous. The Caribou is totally worth it.
    Are you a fan of muffins?
    I had to make muffins every morning at a hotel I worked at. They were awesome. I haven't eaten them since. Have you noticed that when something is awesome you kind of overdo it till you get super burnout and then nothing else like it ever compares? Yeah, that.
    Did you just think of sex?
    Daniel Tosh is the only one who ever makes me think of sex when he says things completely unrelated to it.
    Have you ever heard of The Cranberries?
    I bought two bags of cranberries today and put them into the freezer. My mom had this yummy cranberry ambrosia recipe that she'd make every Thanksgiving, and I still make it every year.
    What's your most recent obsession?
    Let's see, three years ago it was the price of cocoa and sugar (which were both jumping up and have never really come back down since, despite there being plenty of cacao beans because stock traders were having a ball driving it up, and a nasty storm hit the sugar cane fields in Hawaii), a couple of years ago it was buying up Libby's canned pumpkin as quickly as it arrived in stores after they came out of a two year crop shortage due to flooding (and now the price is nearly double per can in some stores even though there seems to be plenty), last year it was buying up butter and throwing it into the freezer every time I found it real cheap because the price of butter had doubled and even tripled, depending on the store, and this year it's Hershey's milk chocolate chips, the price of which varies wildly by as much as $2.50 a bag. While people whine about a 30 cent markup in the price of gas, I marvel that no one complains when the price of the really good vanilla can jump by nearly a dollar an ounce. I've been obsessed with the movement of 'goods and services' ever since I saw my first world map in the fourth grade.
    Are you feeling okay today?
    I'm feeling awesome today. I hope you are, too. And if not, here's a hug. ~*hug*~
    Does anyone care?
    I know they do because they stalk me.

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I've started transferring my survey posts over to Surveypalooza so people coming in from search engines on mobile devices will be able to see the surveys.


Apologies for the missing vids, another upgrade during the server migration swept through like a scan sweeping through the Enterprise. I'll fix those later, kinda busy...

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