• the commercialization of Saint Val


    I'm not big on the gooey stuff, but I actually like Valentine's Day because it seems so perky, and I'm like a happy little clam picking my way down a treat aisle, this year wondering if it would be worth trying out the little bite sized Snickers with messages on the packages.  Scott used to go through a whole big bag of Sweethearts every night watching tv and then wobble around sick to his stomach like a little kid on a sugar buzz, and then go make a bag of popcorn.  He doesn't do that anymore.  I think he crossed some kind of gag line with his brain a couple of years back.




    I don't handle the candy very well any more, either.  A bag of Hershey's Kisses easily lasts for months around here.  I sometimes hand out old Christmas candy for Halloween.  I've noticed, though, that for some reason it's more fun and way tastier if you slice the Snickers down, and put one slice on top of a big marshmallow cut in half, and put that on top of half a graham cracker, then stick it in the microwave for a few seconds, and I figured it up-- only 100 calories.  And for some reason, a *slice* of Snicker is so enticing that I come back later and find the rest missing and Scott looking like a cat with a mouse in his mouth.  I actually imagine the tail hanging out.  A slice of Snicker just looks so ~gourmet~.  You could put it on a little paper lace doily and serve it on gold rimmed china, and all you'd have to do to dress it up is the daintiest dusting of powdered sugar and maybe put a raspberry by it.  THAT is a sexy snack.

    xanga_chocolate           xanga_heart




    So this is the ~*~luv~*~ holiday.  Have you noticed every other week there is something you just about have to spend money on to prove you care to someone?  I put a stop to that one years ago.  I like flowers and goodies and all that, but I feel like it rings insanely hollow when it becomes a nationally ordained chore.  It's more fun to just peruse the candy aisle together and fight over it when we get it home.




    And normally I lean way more into the blue end of the spectrum, but something about all that bright red and pink and the sultry pull of chocolaty confection on my soul....  I mean, seriously, this holiday was meant for me to swim in decadence deluxe.  Forget the gym, I'm having some cheesecake with chocolate, caramel, and strawberry syrups swirled delicately around it at the Pasta House.  I don't know about you guys, but Valentine's Day was made to be a love affair with food, and if romance gets in my way, it had better be able to pull a tango move that dodges my fork.




    Oh, yeah, and I really like Scott, too.    This will be our 19th Valentine's Day as a couple.  If you want some good advice about how to 'make it' in a relationship, lighten up and enjoy the food.  If your Valentine's Day has to be about looking deeply and sincerely into someone's eyes on cue and feeling *special* or everything is ruined, gee, you're gonna be a hard person to live with.  Much easier to savor a slice of Snicker on a melty marshmallow and then go ninja when your significant other swipes the rest.  Trust me.  If the goal is quality time together, works just as good as roses, wine, and a pretty new diamond, with a little practice, and you save all that money and time and actually enjoy each other.




    Just remember what is most important-- cool Valentine footies...



    ...and treats for the coworkers.



    Scott said it best when his coworkers asked him what he got me for Valentine's Day-- "Nothing says 'I love you' like an MRI."    The guys thought he was terrible, but considering how many men out there ditch their wives and girlfriends when they become burdens, I'm good with it.  He really does care enough to stick around through thick and thin.




    And it never gets boring around here...



    Happy Valentine's Day.  Hope it's yummy!



  • aspie lovin'


    Scott once told me I don't have a romantic bone in my body.    I'm actually very proud of that.
    I have no idea how to explain that, except that 'romance' seems so cliche and sort of scheduled to me that I get the giggles and make fun of just about everything about it.
    I've never been caught up in a romantic moment, but I think that might be more that I haven't been swept away in my emotional whims in a culturally defined way.  Honestly, I see romance very differently than champagne and roses, walks in the park, kisses in the rain, holding hands on the beach, whatever.  Cliche.
    Romance is the sweetness of having been friends through it all.  Romance is the aching wait together through thick and thin while you wait for something scary like test results.  Romance is loving someone so much that you'll hold hands through a really bad terrible day, or month, or year, or even a decade, and still giggle about how stupid some of it was.
    Of course, I think his idea of romance was pretty weird, too.  Don't get me wrong, he's a really sweet guy and always there in a pinch and has never let me down, but...  He once saved money buying armloads of carnations about to be pitched out the back door of a flower shop, so I stood at the sink with a fever going through two bales of nasty decaying carnations so I could put a few in a vase.  I think the flower lady ripped him off.  But not to worry, I've also gotten some very excellent flowers.  It's just that he comes up with these weird surprises sometimes, and he really means well, so his feelings get kinda hurt if I make fun of them.  And I'm aspie, I can't tell you how hard it is not to laugh............
    Here is my very favorite story from our whole marriage, which will be 15 years in August.
    It had been a rough week, I felt yucky, the kids were underfoot (gradeschool and middle school), work was dumb for both of us, whatever we were snappy about wasn't making sense, and without thinking I shot off "Why don't you ever call me a term of endearment?  You've never called me honey or dear or darling or anything like that."  He asked me what I'd like to be called, which, as you ladies know, is ~bad~.  I huffed off and completely forgot all about it.  (I'd like to say to the people reading this who HAVEN'T been married five or ten years with kids, this is completely normal and sane behavior on both sides.)
    About a week later, it's dark, the kids are in bed, he's busy on me, and suddenly everything stops, I feel his mouth on my ear, and he whispers "Cupcake."  Then he got busy again.
    Cupcake?  Why did he say cupcake?  Did he *want* a cupcake?  Was I supposed to make him some cupcakes?  I know he ~likes~ cupcakes.  Is he hungry?
        You'll have to bless my little aspie heart, all this is flashing through my mind like a big puzzle and he has no idea I'm no longer in the moment, when it hit me-- THAT was the term of endearment!  And before I could stop myself I was stifling giggles at how unromantic and weird that was, and every time 'cupcake' went back through my head I was suffocating myself more and more trying not to laugh, but it crescendoed until I had to gasp, and next thing you know I'm laughing and laughing....
    Poor Scott.  He's in the middle of it, I'm laughing hysterically, and I can't even tell him why because I can barely breathe.  He stopped, turned on the light, and huffed off into the bathroom.  I gasped in after him, still doubled over in gales of laughter, wiping tears from my eyes, and he's so hurt he won't look at me or speak to me.  He avoided me for three days.  And he never, *ever* called me cupcake again.
    Years later, that memory still sends me into fits of giggles, no matter where I am or what I'm doing.  Scott knows the whole story now, he understands me.  He's probably not exactly ok with it, but it's such a little thing to him that he completely forgets all about it.  For me, however, that is a precious memory.  Two completely different minds meeting in a world of love.  That story is a very good picture of our whole marriage, all the crazy misunderstandings and goofy stumbling around that two people go through in a friendship that lasts for years.  I have Asperger's, he has Attention Deficit Disorder.  I cannot think of a more romantic memory than looking back over the years at how we learned how to laugh together over everything dumb between us.  Some day, if he goes first, people will wonder why I have to stifle a little giggle while I wipe my tears.
    It takes a brave man to keep making love in the face of a woman laughing.  Scott would really miss me laughing if I stopped and got all gooey and romantic on him.  I think we have more fun just laughing than any other couple I've met.  I can't help it, sex is just so weird, and stupid things pop into my head like how dumb frogs look doing it and stuff.
    Valentine's Day is funny because I don't get the least bit gooey, but Scott gets all sappy about his favorite candy and sits there lovingly eating those little hearts while he watches tv.  He'll buy himself candy and forget all about me.  Cracks me up.  I love watching him be himself.  I think some people miss seeing the unique stuff when they insist on romance.

 photo surveybuttonsm.jpg

I've started transferring my survey posts over to Surveypalooza so people coming in from search engines on mobile devices will be able to see the surveys.


Apologies for the missing vids, another upgrade during the server migration swept through like a scan sweeping through the Enterprise. I'll fix those later, kinda busy...

click tracking
since 3-5-14

Site Meter

Subscribe in a reader

Subscribe to Bluejacky by Email

Who is the Existential Aspie?

disclaimer- I am not compensated for linking and sharing. I share what I like when I feel like it.

my stuffs

Still waiting for a tweet widget update.

 photo dotcomlogojb.jpgdotcom

 photo yablo.jpg YabloVH

GrandFortuna's League of 20,000 Planets

 photo spazz.jpgjankita on blogger


View Janika Banks's profile on LinkedIn

 photo tumblr_button.jpg

Follow Me on Pinterest


Pinky Guerrero
LogoThere are
or fewer people named Janika Banks in the U.S.A.

How many have your name?

my friends

Eric's blog  photo keepingconscious5.jpg

Dawn's blog  photo dawnsnip3.jpg

Vicki's blog  photo tryingnottowobble.jpg

Anonymous Aspie  photo aspieland.jpg

Fae & Friends  photo faeampfriends2.jpg

myke's place  photo syfydesignslogo.jpg

Nerd Movie  photo nerdmovie.jpg

Front and Center Productions  photo frontandcenterlogo.jpg

Kirill Yarovoy  photo revivalcomingsoon.jpg

Little Lexx forum  photo lexxboredbutton.jpg

Lexxzone on Tumblr  photo lexxzonelogo.jpg

November 2016
« Jun    

Everything I've got on this blog