• shop till you drop survey

    Gonna geek my foodie obsession all over you guys in this one. Run screaming if you are on a diet.

    1. What is your favorite way to shop? Online or in the actual store? 
    I've been known to haunt any kind of shop far and wide that sells ~any~ kind of food, but I'll definitely have it shipped in if I can't find it locally. Got the most wonderful avocados that way. Click the pic to check it out.

    I can tell already this survey is going to turn into a book, because I get excited about food history and the movement of food around the globe as goods and services (seriously, 4th grade, I have this textbook, I LOVE social studies, and now I own the huge A History of Food).
    I think about food *all* *the* *time*, like when I'm watching Merlin, you think about people way back then not having the food we have nowadays and stuff. Well, apparently some fans got really picky about it and went to great lengths to point out to the show creators that Merlin couldn't have eaten a sandwich or had tomatoes thrown at him in the stocks (from http://merlin-sceneit.livejournal.com/7781.html) to which the creators laughed and said Yeah, well, they didn't have talking dragons back then, either... (commentary in this video)

    My favorite meat counter is at Harter House, my fave fresh organic vegetables are at MaMa Jean’s Market, my fave place to buy bulk olive oil and butter and other pricey stuff is Sam’s Club, and my fave place to pick up locally produced foods is Heather Hill Farms. Since I'm working on this survey on Cinco de Mayo, here is one of my fave Weird Al fanvids. He's a good one if you like food songs.

    I love making pretty food that tastes good. One of the neatest tricks I learned was mixing a dash or two of smoked paprika into the breading mix before I bread and fry stuff, along with a dash of garlic powder, a dash of black pepper, and a sprinkling of something herbly like basil, thyme, rosemary, or oregano. Or all of them. Lightly salt the meat or veggies first, then dredge, then fry.
    I sometimes think managers cringe because I ask so many questions, like where is the saffron and could they get any in for me, and they're going what the heck is saffron... even though I live in a very ethnically diverse area. It used to be almost impossible to find smoked paprika in SW MO, too, and I know this because I hunted high and low through 15 stores across 3 towns. Well, thanx to the food channels making ethnic cooking more popular and the McCormick® Gourmet Collection making a new display, I can now find saffron in nearly every store I visit, including Walmart.


    Now all I have to do is dress up like Nadia G while I cook...

    My fave aisle is the baking stuff, flours and oils and all kinds of stuff for pies and cakes and cookies. Since I'm allergic to everything with nuts and citrus in it, even by association, I have had to learn to make everything from scratch, and I have to say I make the most delicious yellow cake I've ever tasted from a combination of recipes I hunted down on the internet. I've never seen another recipe quite like mine, and Scott has sworn off gourmet cupcake shops over it. One day I'll share it.  
    Speaking of cake, I was invited to Matthew Willson's 40th birthday party!  And so was Ellen Dubin!  I know! If we were both going I could hang out with her! But alas, 'tis not to be. Friend Matt on facebook and follow his twitter. Like Ellen's facebook fanpage and follow her twitter. (some of you coming back might notice I changed Ellen's facebook link-here's why)


    So Matthew Willson produced and starred in an independent film called Skinning the Cat, and if you want to see him in other stuff here is a demo reel- caution for language and very brief male nudity (not Matthew), so do NOT watch this if you don't like the rough stuff.
    And which account do I use, while we're at it? I'm notorious for paying with a baggy full of change just so I can clean out the coin bowl. Really going to miss those pennies when they finally revise them out of our monetary exchange system. I'm picky about my tea, too. If I forget that I've got a bag steeping and come back later, I throw it all out and start over. Went through half a box of tea bags one day because I was absorbed in something else I was doing.


    Friend of mine on twitter has been in India with a group and told me it doesn't matter how strong it gets there, you just milk and sugar it up and drink it!  You can read about her experiences there and follow Sarais_thoughts on Twitter.
    I kind of am. When I see a really beautiful head of cauliflower it's all I can do not to bring it home. Despite loving cauliflower, I think I throw more of that away than anything because I have way too much to eat. This song could be my cauliflower song if it rhymed with anything.
    We've been through major debt because of medical bills, which I think a lot of people go through sooner or later. No matter how bad stuff gets, stick to someone. Don't go through it alone. Lately one of my fave authors is facing massive medical debt because his son was in an accident. He made the coolest post on his facebook yesterday. If you'd like to keep up with updates you can also follow David Farland on Twitter.



    I used to hit my favorite restaurants there quite a bit, but now that I can't eat anything on the menu without risking a reaction, I hardly ever go any more. I drool over kitchens like this one since I'm in my own kitchen so much.


    This actually happened.


    And since I was having a slow brain day, I was a nidiot and said no thanx, I don't play video games. ~DERP omg~ Ten seconds later I was going back begging for that key because I know sooooooo many people that DO. And I would have given it to you all right here because I'm that cool. Except now I suck because I was so dumb.
    But that has nothing to do with food, you say. And I say I KNOW, so let's go comfort ourselves with some junk food!  Here, look, I made another chocolate pie! Well, actually two since the last survey, the one with the pink meringue is me playing around trying to make it look like marshmallow strawberries, and the purple meringue was me playing around with how well I could make shapes. I think eventually I'll be sculpting meringue like a pro.





    People are always asking me that about my coffee. We used to drive a couple of states north just to pick up Caribou coffee and a few other things once a year, but they've finally got it down here now at Target and Hy-Vee, thank goodness. Caribou Daybreak is Scott's favorite. My favorite is Ozark Mountain Blend from Churchill Coffee. We mix them half and half for the most perfect coffee we've ever tasted, guess you could say it's our own house blend.



    My youngest is getting a LOT of oohs and ahhs over these baby shoes that came across the pond from Gems-Stones-Studs at Diddy by Design, and she can't wait till her little girl is born and can get pictures made in them.  

     This is a recipe going around facebook that I think would be precious to try at a baby shower, and super easy to make.

     photo pinkfudge.jpg

    1 16 oz can of strawberry frosting
    1 12 oz bag of white chocolate chips
    2/3 cup chopped pecans
    Lightly spray an 9×9 pan ( or a 9 x 13 pan for thinner bars ) with cooking spray. 
    Put chocolate chips in microwave safe bowl and melt them,( not letting them burn) You could also use a double boiler.
    Stir in entire can of strawberry frosting.
    Stir in pecans. 
    Spread into pan and chill in refrigerator for 30 minutes.
    Cut into squares and serve.

    I buy whatever I want wherever I see it if I have the money to spend, but since I'm about the least material person I know, that means I have more money available for nice food. I heard about this really rare white honey that comes from only one place in the whole world and had to try it. Volcano Island Honey

    Not yet. What I'd *like* is to splurge on some more ceramic bakeware. I ~luv~ that stuff. It's heavy like cast iron so it cooks more evenly than metal pans, and so much easier to clean up. I also like those new Orgreenic pans, picked one up, guess we'll see how it works out. So far so good.

    I get all kinds of coupons back from companies I've written to about either what I loved about their products, or problems I had with them. I live near the heart of Tyson Chicken country and know people on several big farms that contract with them raising chickens and turkeys. I have absolutely no quarrel with them, except one year I noticed their frozen cornish hens seemed more feathery than they used to be, and I let them know I was really tired of having to pick out the pins and feathers that had been missed. I got all kinds of free chicken, the more I complained, the more coupons I got. I finally went online and did some research (plus I get World Poultry Magazine), and basically the whole line had been revamped to accommodate the problems live chickens were going through at the top of the line, which led to not only better quality in the meat down the line, but far less suffering overall. So I thought Ok, I can handle a few feathers for that. Since then a new line called Smart Chicken® has moved into most of the stores, and that's usually what I pick up, even though it costs a little more, because the meat is in such good condition, which means the chicken wasn't treated badly getting all bruised up and broken, although, yes, you still get to finish cleaning off a few pin feathers and fuzz. This is kind of a big deal when you make your own chicken stock, but since I very thoroughly inspect and wash my chicken before it goes into the pot, I've never found any of that in my stock.


    There are certain grocery items I ALWAYS check prices on as I shop. I'm not a browser, so I glance around at high speed, most people probably never see me do that. For instance, canned milk- depending where you go and what brand you buy, that stuff is regularly 30 cents higher or lower per 12-oz can, which would be a monumental deal if we were talking gas prices. Every time I save $1 buying store brand canned milk, I can spend that $1 on nicer meat, capiche? If I wait till Christmas season and buy chocolate chips $1 cheaper per bag and stock up enough to make a batch of cookies once a month all year, I've saved $12 dollars. If you guys aren't noticing this insane waste of your money and still complaining about gas prices, you're kinda dumb. I save so much money just noticing when is the right time to buy staples with long shelf lives that I never need coupons. I get real butter at very reasonable prices and throw piles of it into my freezer, and then don't worry about needing it when the price doubles back up. Bacon goes more than half off around bbq season, I buy piles of it and it lasts all year. Stuff like that. We eat really well in this house, and some people think that's a hoity toity way of life, but when you save $50 a month on all your staples, it's easy to spend that $50 at a quality meat counter. And really, this is my kind of gaming. I'm so good at remembering prices between all the stores, it's like hitting that pot and finding a gem in Legend of Zelda when I run into a price drop. I get a little rush.  When you find your fave designer coffee going down $1 per a 12-oz bag, it's insane not to grab about 6 or 7 of them, right? Free bag of designer coffee right there. This is what hunting and gathering is all about in the 21st century, people.

    I have worked in retail till I dropped, literally. I've always been a workaholic, thanx to my upbringing. I grew up labor intensive on a self sustaining Mennonite farm, which probably goes against all child labor laws, but it certainly created a framework for successfully navigating through the rest of my life. I think that's what I like about watching Chopped All Stars, you can tell they're the same way. We love food work. These are my people. The ONLY reason I left restaurant work was because I didn't want to commit 24/7 to management over being with my kids, but if I'd never had any kids, that's exactly where I'd be right now, or most likely would own my own place by now. My very fave celebrity chef (among MANY over the years) is Anne Burrell. I first watched her sous chef for Mario Batali on Iron Chef America, and I haven't missed a single one of her shows since then, especially Worst Cooks in America. I'm a rabid scifi fan, but I bet I've watched more food shows in my life than any other kind of tv show. One of my very favorite shows is Two Fat Ladies, I've seen every episode 3 times and read all the books they've written.
    I've been known to crack open a chocolate milk and take a pain pill after physical therapy while I shop for groceries on the way home, yes. There is one store in particular I hit where one of the sackers has known me for years, and she watched me crawl through the nightmare of immobility and motor carts for a couple of years, and now I'm walking around pushing my own cart again. Still difficult to bend into the cart and get my stuff out to put onto the little conveyor (I have doctor ordered weight restrictions on what I can lift), but it's SO nice to be able to do the shopping myself again. Because of all the spinal pain I still go through, I've discovered that eating standing up is actually quite enjoyable. We have this mindset that we must sit to eat, but when we do that, we miss our deeper instincts. Picking through fresh roasted meat while it's still fresh from the oven before I shred or dice it up is heavenly, and moving around between bites (since I'm already conveniently standing up) keeps me from overeating. It's so easy to gain weight as we age, but if you stop sitting down through most of your meals and keep doing chores in between bites, it's very enjoyable to eat without overdoing it.
    Scott's a real man, he doesn't eat quiche. I make a ~fabulous~ quiche. We call it egg pie. He loves egg pie. I would love to get the Spice Agent's take on quiche.  



    I'd rather be alone! I know that sounds harsh, but I get so distracted when I'm shopping with someone that we laugh ourselves silly and I can't follow my list for beans. That sounds nice, you say, and I say yes it is, until we get home and I'm missing vital ingredients. Does this mean I choose food over friends? I don't know, I've never psyche analyzed that part of myself, but I do know I love cooking FOR friends. I believe in the burrito. From Enjoy Your Burrito-
    “Enjoy Your Burrito” has become a catchphrase of sorts for the Nerdist Podcast, closing every episode, but what does it mean? All was revealed in this episode, which posted on October 4, 2010. The burrito thing comes up at about the 56-minute mark, when Jonah discusses living in San Pedro, trying to get his comedy career going, and getting depressed. He talks about going to his favorite burrito place, and being depressed when halfway done with the burrito because it meant he’d have to go back to his depressing job. And that’s when he decided to “believe in the burrito,” enjoying the rest of the burrito right at that moment and worrying about the other stuff later. That story became, in shorthand form, “Enjoy Your Burrito,” which Nerdist fans have adopted as a motto for life.
    And since Jonah Ray, Matt Mira, and Chris Hardwick have impacted ~my~ life for the better through that, they can help you, too. (Brief language warning, mostly after 7:45.)



    Have you noticed that people using 'green' bags don't always shield the insides of the bags from direct contact with their raw fruits and veg? The reason plastics are such a big hit is because they are an effective barrier against germ spread. I'm all for going green, guys, but if you seem to be having upset stomachs a bit more than you'd like, read this handy guideline about the use and care of green bagging it.

    Food safety awareness is key to healthy living. I am acutely aware that my own organically raised chickens may be salmonella carriers because of stuff like this video. Please be aware that 'organic' isn't synonymous with 'germ-free'. Because of this, I keep my hands away from my face as much as possible, wash my hands thoroughly when I come back into the house, and thoroughly cook the eggs my chickens lay. Living a healthy lifestyle with reusable bags and organic foods can still lead to fevers and puking your guts out, so be smart.

    This is someone else's chicken.

    This is my chickens eating watermelon, yum!


    I can never not use a cart. I need it to hold my purse and jacket while I look at stuff.  I'm mise en place everywhere I go.
    I actually like eating the bones, but I make sure they're crunchy crumbly first.
    I have never tried making chocolate crepes. And I've kinda been wondering how chocolate pancakes taste, but that seems a bit much. Can you tell I'm in a chocolate mood? Scott likes grape jelly on his pancakes, which I think is weird. Speaking of grape jelly... Scott is one of those guys who walks past flinging blurbs out that he *thinks* is part of a conversation he's already having with me in his head. He's an avid fantasy baseball player juggling multiple teams, so it got a little weird last month when he walked by and asked out of the blue if the Orioles had any grape jelly. I couldn't imagine what in the world was going on in one of his ball teams THIS time, so I was all whaaa?, but then I thought Ok, musta heard him wrong, he meant Oreos because he loves those spring Oreos with the yellow filling, but jelly??? So I had to ask. I usually try to avoid asking, because sometimes it gets ridiculously more complicated than it needs to be, and sure enough, he thought *I* was the crazy one asking about Oreos and grape jelly. I'm sure you birders have already figured out he was thinking about putting an Oriole feeder up. I got this picture a few days ago in between one slurping jelly. It's the only way I could get it on camera at all.

    This is where it comes in real handy being allergic to nuts and peanuts. Nearly all candy near a register has an allergy warning on it. Since I steer clear for that, I never have to worry about calories from impulse candy.
    Shopping for chocolate!  I snack on Hershey's milk chocolate chips because there is no nut or peanut allergy warning on them.

    Follow your destiny!


  • Do People Really Know You survey

    Once in awhile I run into a survey that looks like a confession to all kinds of things, via the kinds of questions the survey creator asks. A couple of my favorites are the one who practically admitted to having interracial sex in church on drugs, and another who I'm pretty sure was part of an accidental murder and hiding the body. This one is the saddest one I've ever run across. If this person hasn't lived this in real life, he or she at least knows someone who has. I don't usually run a disclaimer before a survey, but I just wanna say every answer I give on here is a big hug to all the people out there who can probably answer yes to all these questions. I have been there, too. And I'm glad to say I persevered and survived and actually thrive now in a beautiful way of life, so hang in there all y'alls, it doesn't always suck, and we can recreate ourselves into powerful wondrous creatures. "Luminous beings we are, not this crude matter." -Yoda

    Have you ever been yelled at?
    I have baditude and way too much ego. People generally don't bother me much.

    Has a close friend or family member died?
    I love the way really old lady skin feels soft, like rose petals. You can't see me eating chocolate pie while I'm typing. I'm starting meringue experiments. Every time I make a pie this year I'm going to color the meringue differently and try to make cool shapes or patterns. I was struck with the idea a little late into this one. Scott got really excited when he saw that it was yellow.

    Have you ever been to jail for something you never did?
    Ooh, this one is kinda freaking me out. I'd probably normally ignore something like this, but since a couple grandkids are on the way now, it totally got my attention. Is it weird that she assumes she'll never get to talk to the kid? Like a Logan's Run kind of thing, kill people off young or something? Watch with caution, this song super sticks in your head, I've never seen anything so addicting.

    Have you ever been jokes about because of the color of your skin?
    Bradley looks like that last video kind of surprised him. Sorry, needed a brain cleanser. When I was a kid I was ticked off that I didn't have blue skin or pretty fur like a cat. The only time I turn truly white is my first day on a big dose of prednisone, kinda scares people.

     photo facebook_-461850088.jpg

    Have you ever been on drugs and not known why?
    I rewatched the Matrix movies a couple weeks ago, and you know how people get all funked out thinking what if and stuff, but I'll go you one better. How much you wanna bet the soul mate thing you feel with someone is because your body is really next to theirs, but you never know it because you're plugged into a simulation. How do you know this world isn't a big experiment and the whole Matrix story was someone having premonitions about there really being a world outside this one? Did you know some physicists are postulating that what we think is real might really be a holographic projection? I've watched others, like The Thirteenth Floor, Dark City, Harsh Realm- how do we KNOW this world is a big accident? I feel like gaming is just an inside-out version of ourselves. I'm not entirely sure my brain is self contained and autonomous. I have ~always~ felt like I should be able to plug into an outlet like R2D2 and just know stuff, and I think the concept of the existence of magic is an indicator that what we perceive as limitations and rules (physics) doesn't come naturally to our perceptions of how the world should work, which is pretty odd if you insist that we are merely evolved material by happenstance. I need to stop before I plunge headlong into writing a book right here right now. Very exciting ideas in my head.

    Have you ever been scammed by someone you loved?
    Actually, I'm blown away by all the cool people I meet on Twitter, like Diddy Wheldon. It all started with one of my major Bradley days on twitter (I use Bradley James pix to cheer myself up on rough days, some of my tweeps love it) , one thing led to another, and anyone who's been around me even a little while knows I bumble around with my brain in 50 different places (aspie, #4 cracks me up ) and then I discover later how cool it was. So this was awesome and perfectly timed for grandkids being born this summer, because she has a Diddy By Design Shop full of the cutest little clothes, and I was browsing the net that very day for baby showers. Next thing you know I'm gaping over the Gems-Stones-studs Gallery full of sparkly high heels and christening shoes and nail gems...  Pix click back to their shops. The big pic is the christening shoes that arrived in my mail today. heart 


    The first couple of dots in my head connected after Diddy yapped with me a little bit on twitter about Bradley being hot, and I'm like, wait... her real name is Margaret and she's on IMDb ... So I checked her site again and dang if she didn't have WAY better info in her own film credits, so I'm all like Hey, your IMDb page sux, ur site is way better, etc., and she yapped back with me, which was fun and cool. A big game on twitter is to get celebs to follow, kind of like collecting #getglue stickers or something.

    But of course I'm doing 50 things, right? I eventually got around to showing Scott a couple weeks later how prolific her life is, one of those high energy people doing so much stuff like producing music, I'm clicking around and are you KIDDING ME, she does Spiderman art too??? (I tend to notice Spiderman stuff, there is a LOT of other art there.) Among a million other things that Diddy Wheldon does, like her YouTube channel. And she still talks to me on twitter.

    But by far the coolest thing you need to check out is her Serenity Talent agency site (also on Facebook and Myspace) and follow SERENITY TALENT on Twitter plus you can friend her as Margaret Wheldon on facebook. She's got so many ways you can contact her and get hooked up if you are an industry professional looking for work or in between jobs.

    I'm doing all this for fun, because I don't mess around with getting paid to link, but I do have to blame this one on Bradley James, I think. He seems to be my best common denominator with people around the world, and retweeting fan pix cheers me up on rough days, so I tend to do it a lot. So the secret word is "Bradley", and if you're nice to me I just might tweet a link for you.

    Have you ever been betrayed?
    My droid has been auto correcting my tweets behind my back ~after~ I choose the spelling I want, then I respell it when I notice it auto corrected after I chose the spelling I want, choose the spelling *again* I want from a list, and even add the new spelling to the internal dictionary. This recently escalated...

    Have you ever been beat up because you wernt cool enough?
    There's no such thing as not cool enough anymore. Anyone can be an Idiot Subbont-

    Have you ever been brought down by a friend?
    I've upped the ante so much in a Follow Friday poker showdown with this guy on Twitter that I now owe him really super big time, and let's see him top THIS, getting immortalized into a survey, HA! >=D Click that banner to get to his cool site. 

    I personally give him 5 stars for raising his kids RIGHT.

    Have you ever lost a friend because of a crush?
    This was my fave Superbowl commercial this year.

    Have you ever been told you could never do something?
    All my life. And then I did stuff anyway, and I'm glad I did. I didn't used to think like that. I was in my 30's taking a basic chemistry class with a bunch of much younger people, and the teacher asked what I'd been doing up to that point. At the time, I thought I was a loser because I had never stayed in one place long enough to make the kind of money that people always said I was smart enough to make, but as I rattled out a few jobs I'd had, that teacher almost swooned with jealousy and blurted that he wished he'd had the guts to go try other jobs. All he'd ever done was teach chemistry, the same classes, over and over and over, year in and year out. He made more money than me and had a stable job, sure, but that single moment turned my whole perspective around. I really have had a cool life, an interesting life, sometimes pretty scary or ridiculous, but sure as heck anything but boring. They say variety is the spice of life.

    I'm lately noticing that the Wormhole Riders don't have a Lexx category in their drop down menu. I might have to look into that.... you know, being's how I have a Lexx blog.

    If yes to 11, did you ever show them they were wrong?
    Since when were we numbering these??? That made me go back and count.  And whenever something goes wrong, just meme it and get famous. When memes collide... Click the pic to get info on the creators.

    Have you ever not had a roof above your head?
    I mentioned in another post that I slept in a car at one point in my life, for about a month. I didn't mention that I didn't want to sleep on the floor of a house a woman had died in and no one found her until after her cat had also died and decayed so badly that its skin stuck to the bathtub like it had been glued. I know this because I helped scrape it off. But there were people who did sleep in the house... it's in the book. I'll let you know when it's available.

    Have you ever have to not eat because you did not have the money?
    Ok, ok, I'll actually answer this. Yes. One week was so bad that all I had was what was left in a jar of peanuts and half a hot dog bun. Stuff like that is a good motivator and clears the cobwebs out so you can get priorities straight. No, it was a different year from the cat skin thing in the last question. Entirely unrelated, while my fave chefs on the food channels have been Two Fat Ladies, Nadia G, and Chef Anne Burrell, I get the biggest kick out of the Israeli Spice Agent and wish he had his own show.

    Have you ever been forsed into a relationship?
    This was kind of an accident, more like I was showing off when I cross tweeted this Dr. Who fan art over from facebook and made it about a book I'm reading myself which was written by a physicist. Well, guess what. He's on twitter. Click the pic to get to it, and from there you can click to his website and see the cool books he's written.

    You know what, it's getting really late, I'm floating on a pain pill, let's get naughty and deal with this question the right way. Close your eyes if you're sensitive to suggestive material.

    What was the worst mistake of your life?
    I'm refusing to regret my Team Hatter t-shirt, the most expensive t-shirt in my house. I got it from Keychain Productions | LINKS SHOP that supports projects Andrew-Lee Potts is working on. I think the biggest stumper to international fan support either way is probably shipping fees. If I had known shipping on that shirt would triple the total cost I'd never have ordered it. As it is, they sold it only for a very short time, so it's super rare, and I guess that makes up for it. Still going to wear it like all my other t-shirts.

    Who is the person who brought you down the most?
    There's a new book out I'm really wanting to read called The Universe Wide Web: Getting Started by Simon J. Morley, but it can only be read through devices, I can't get hard copy. I'm one of those unfortunate people that gets nasty headaches if I look at illuminated screens too long, thanx to some nerve damage, plus I can't sit in one position very long at all with a  laptop or device. With a book I can roll around my couch and hold my page at a moment's notice, etc, and I'm sad I can't get this book in hard copy because the idea sounds really awesome. If I ever do cave to Kindle or Smashtowers, it'll be because of this book. Click the pic to go to his website.


    Did you ever have to live without seeing one or both of your birth parents?
    This is a couple of other things I got for one of the baby showers. The pix click to where I got them.



    Have you ever been called Fat?
    For being the shortest kid in the second grade and having the smallest feet in my whole extended family, I kind of am. But no one has ever pointed it out for some reason. It's really just a rope... 

    Have you ever been made fun of because of your sexuality?
    People always want to fix asexuals. It's nobody's business what my sexuality is, and I don't need to be fixed.

    What is it really like to be you?
    You could never possibly know how truly evil I am until I lure you into a body swap and go skipping off in your body while you lay twisting in contortions on the floor from shock. >=) heh heh The evil villain I most identify with is Elijah Price in Unbreakable. While others work on solving time travel, I will solve the mystery of soul travel. Ok, I'm not as bad off as 'Mr. Glass', but I totally get that nudge over to the dark side, which is probably why I'm so aware of how important surveys like this really are in the long dark night. This video will spoil the ending for you, so don't watch it.

    And why is it like that?
    In keeping with the theme of these questions, how about an angsty parting vid.

    Ok, I can't end on that, must have some joy!


  • survey- Can You Spill Your Deep Dark Secrets?

    :edit: 6-3-14 The old youtube codes got wiped out, I can't remember what was there before so I'm replacing them with new ones. You wouldn't believe the code mess that involved me cleaning up, there are over 7000 words in here. O_o

    Can You Spill Your Deep Dark Secrets?

    From http://www.myspacebulletins.com/takesurvey.php?id=721

    Who is the last person that hurt your feelings?
    Apparently I forgave and forgot, because I can't recall a thing. Or maybe I wasn't paying attention, it's really hard to tell. I'm busy. Btw, now that I can see this on my new smart phone, I know that you sometimes get big gaps where there are youtubes. Be patient. Keep reading and come back.

    Would you consider plastic surgery?
    Scott got the staple gun out for this job. Yeah, I know it looks like he put them on the wrong side, but the street is on the left. Several shrubs in the yard got colored up, too.

    What is bothering you at this moment?
    I'm coming slowly down off one of those week-long migraines that travel down your spine, everything else by sheer comparison is a welcome distraction. Like Scott cleaning out his old tackle box all over the coffee table, I actually asked about some of his lures. He thinks I'm cool and like to talk to him about his little hooks and stuff, but it's really just me desperately looking for a way to claw out of this tangled sensory web I'm trapped in. Kinda like how he nearly got tangled up in his fishing line in the kitchen yesterday. He showed me how to make a blood knot, but I don't remember. (Ok, a week has gone by since I wrote that, I'm feeling better now.)

    Ever started a rumor about someone?
    I seriously considered spilling the beans that I was pregnant with Brian Downey's baby after MegaCon '07, because the fandom was already in a crazy tizzy, but decided no one would appreciate the joke. Scott would have gone along with it, he thought it was funny.

    Whats the craziest reason why you broke up with someone?
    Scott said it was to save money, but when I tried to schedule a blood test they had my file so mangled that they had me married to someone else, and calling back two more times kept twisting up the information more and more, so I finally said forget it, I'll just keep the old life insurance. The insurance broker tried to explain to me that the schedulers are just hired off the street and have nothing to do with the actual blood test or paperwork, but that underwhelmed me even more. These kids are old enough to text and drive, I bet they could do the work better if their desks were zooming around the office and they could only use their thumbs on a teeny tiny keypad. So I broke up with the people I was breaking up with the other people for.

    Have you ever been accused of cheating on a partner?
    I hide the snacks I buy, Scott hides the snacks he buys. Stuff like this can save a marriage. Well, except the cheese. Scott always finds my seriously sharp cheddar.

    Ever lied about your age?
    Scott once tried to get me to say I was 55 to get the senior discount. I was nowhere near 50 and protested, and he tried to swoon me with "They'll tell you how young you look!" This is why God made the evil eye, to keep nidiots in line.

    Last time you masterbated?
    That's spelled with a u, sweetheart, masturbated. No one ever asks really good questions about this kind of stuff. Like how much did I regret it later.

    Ever felt the need to change yourself for someone?
    Bathing regularly is a nice thing to do. I just erased a lengthy rant about lazy people who cover up their lack of bathing with expensive designer fragrances. Aiming this at young women in particular, after growing up with sisters, raising daughters, and picking up after girls in an intimates department fitting room for 5 years. USE SOAP.

    When is the last time you prayed?
    I pray for the weirdest stuff in my dreams. Hey, I know this is way off the subject, but I'm counting down till I can live stream Merlin at 1:55 this afternoon (7:55 UK time), and this advent calendar teaser just came through on twitter, so I'm sharing.

    :edit: due to technical difficulties, this video is being replaced.

    Do you watch porn?
    I am the one person you don't want in the room for a group porn watch. I can't help totally going MST3K all over it until everyone is ready to throw me off a balcony. Likewise, I've wondered a few times just how quickly I'd manage to kill an orgy, because I would be laughing so hard that no one would be able to focus. That's probably why villagers used to tie people to a rock as a sacrifice to the local demon, because what else do you do with someone like that. I'd be better off with Muppet porn, so I could be like Statler and Waldorf.

    Have any of your ex's turned gay?
    I told Scott if I were a guy he'd get better sex out of me because I'd totally be gay, but I don't think that frightens him as much as it should. I laughed at this hat so much yesterday that he switched to a different hat today.

    What do you wish you did for a living?
    Scott said he'll give me half if he ever wins the lottery, so I aspire to hope he wins for a living. Or maybe I'll get something published. I've gotta stop being so lazy... This would be a good pic for a caption.

    What is worse a cheater or a liar?
    Both make pretty good characters if you're writing something, according to Xander Bennett. He's one of the extremely few people I allow mobile alerts for day and night. http://twitter.com/xanderbennett Read- How to Write a Kick-Ass Protagonist by Xander Bennett | Script Frenzy

    Do you still have stuffed animals?
    Marcel is ticked that I haven't let him ride any of the chickens yet. It's on his bucket list. I think it's a little ambitious, and what if the chicken freaks out and takes off, will I ever find him again if he falls off, or will the other chickens try to attack him if I tie him on? But yeah, I did promise him that one day we could try it, and he's all excited, like he'd be riding a dinosaur like in Land of the Lost. I'd like to wait till they slack off on their laying first, last thing I need is a stressed out chicken with a stuck egg.
    What happens to the chicken when the eggs get stuck inside of her

    Do you dance around in your underwear?
    The last time I got excited enough to dance around I smashed my ankle on the coffee table. I don't think being in my underwear would have changed anything, unless I had hurt myself badly enough to have to call 9-1-1, and then it would have been memorable for a number of people. See, this is why I need really super cool underwear like John Barrowman, so my embarrassment won't come from how dumb my ordinary panties are. He is partnered with a Scott, too. We're very lucky, both our Scotts have awesome butts and thighs.

    Do you own a dildo or vibrator?
    I could say I don't need one because I get off just fine on everything else in the house, and it saves money, but that's probably tmi. I think some of the funniest pix on the internet are photo bombs with animals in them. I know, OT, but this question needed something more interesting than my epic fails.
    The 35 Greatest Animal Photobombers Of All Time

    Are you a picky person?
    Ex~treme~ly. I write letters to companies about their products and wind up with all kinds of coupons for free stuff. I guess that's how they shut people up.

    Do you wish your boobs were bigger?
    5:30 a.m., see a spider, try to hurry so I can get the spider before it gets away or crawls on me (it's within 8 inches of my foot and it looks like a brown recluse), but I can't stop peeing because my bladder is so full, and it's nearly at my foot and then going by and I'm really trying to hurry up, dang it, and FINALLY I can get up and grab that spider in some toilet paper and flush it down, thank goodness. Always when I'm peeing... Bigger boobs wouldn't have helped that situation. And I've had bigger boobs. I was glad they shrunk a bit when I lost 50 pounds.

    What do you find yourself doing while laying in bed?

    Getting back up constantly. I can't help it. I have gone so far as to get up and iron stuff at 3 in the morning. Sometimes I'm nearly asleep and an awesome idea blazes through my mind, and I have to sit up and write several pages of stuff. Usually I just flip through the Dish guide or check stuff on my laptop, once in awhile I read. And from what I see on twitter, I think half the world is like this. No, what you're thinking doesn't help.

    Ever been skinny dipping?
    I dip fat free chicken tenders in egg before I crumb and bake them.

    How many times have you checked up on your ex?
    We keep an eye on the obituaries. One can dream.

    Do you consider yourself trust worthy?
    You can completely trust me to be devious behind your back.

    Ever used a fake ID or one that wasn't you?
    I have seen people try to pass themselves off as someone else. This only works if you have the same skin color and gender of the ID you just stole. #tinybrains

    How old was your oldest sexual partner?
    Caution, sensitive stuff, close your eyes- I think the grossest pet butchering eating I've ever been through was an old Suffolk ram, my dad's delight, a blue ribbon winner in a big county fair out west, and the only animal we moved with us to Missouri- in the back of our station wagon. No kidding, he traveled in the car with us. I'm sure we looked like idiots. He threw wonderful lambs for many years, and even when he got too old to keep up, Dad couldn't bear to part with him, so he kept him around, which is a big thing on a farm where everything is supposed to be efficient and useful. That ram became a favorite for a calf that Dad decided to keep for a bull instead of selling it for a steer, and that calf humped the ram till he could barely cripple around at all. When the ram finally started losing weight, Dad made The Decision, and with tears in his eyes, led the ram out of the pen to butcher him. You know, I've eaten all kinds of young things, and mothers who weren't going to make it through birthing and whatever, but eating that really old crippled guy who'd been raped over and over till he could no longer walk was about as low as it could get. I'm not a PETA person, I still eat meat, but my stomach has been so turned over the years by certain kinds of neglect that get mistaken for fondness for one's pet that I can hardly stand being around people like that any more. People who own animals (slaves) have a responsibility, and whether we wind up eating them or not pales against the quality of life those animals lead. Just writing all this down made me feel a little sick. -Ok, you can open your eyes now.

    Have you ever faked an orgasm?
    I keep getting these weird factoids on twitter from various sources about snails and a certain kind of worm and a rare breed of frog, pretty much every kind of animal sooner or later, about copulation statistics, like how long their orgasms last or how many times they do it or whether they die afterward, and I think of all the things that have ever grossed me out about being human, at least we're not weirder or grosser, you know? And I see no sense in faking orgasms, that's a weird head game. I think it would behoove the public to receive weird factoids on twitter about what sorts of psychological situations motivate people not to be honest with each other. I just tell Scott to hurry up and get off me if there is any chance I might get super aroused, then super pissed because he's done and I'm not, and then bite his head off. It's a mutual arrangement that has contributed to nearly 20 ongoing successful years of marriage. He seems to appreciate that I don't make a big deal out of it every single time.

    If your last ex apologized would you get back with them?
    If my last ex apologizes, I will wonder what happened to time and space and hell freezing over. I don't think he has the fortitude, to be euphemistic. Actually, I have two exes of any significance, so this is a different one than the one in a previous question where I was checking obits.

    What family memeber are you closest to?
    I'm having the hardest time getting through this survey, have been working on it over a week already. This is the time of year that I either go numb and disengage my brain or join the cacophony of chaos that the holidays bring. (I wrote that a week ago, so now I'm in my second week of working on this. Here have a pie picture. It's chocolate, and the green sugar sprinkles are supposed to make it festive.)

    What does death teach us about life?
    See, like this question. I've passed this question about 50 times, but today I'm going to answer it. Yesterday I made a cool post on another blog about my old hen, pictures and everything, and mere hours after I posted it, a great big hawk got her. How many months has she been able to roam around the yard for a couple of hours every day and nothing happens, and the day I make a post about her, she dies a tragic murderous death. I jinxed her.

    If nothing was holding you back, where would you live and why?
    I love it when some goob says something on twitter about somebody famous, and someone else pops up with a reply about how they live only 3 doors down from them and it's really not like that, etc. Um, hit and run on twitter from a huge house on the same street as a celeb? Seriously, you have nothing *better* to do than stalk people who hashtag someone on your street? I think this is how you find people who really do have nothing holding them back and actually DO live wherever they want, like down the street from someone they've been stalking for years. Sooner or later, they just can't stand it any more and have to flush out of the bushes and say something. *wow* Creepy.

    When was the last time you cried?
    I was outside in the wind helping Scott hang Christmas lights around some of our little evergreen bush tree things, and the cold wind made my nose run and my eyes water. And then my left eyelid got so irritated that my eyes watered for over an hour after I came back in the house.

    What is the earliest memory you have of a sibling?
    Every time I listen to My Best Friend's Girl by the Cars and they get to the line "Every new boy that she meets doesn't know the real surprise" I crack up thinking about my youngest daughter puking her lungs out everywhere she goes. She's so cute and pretty and easily nauseated, she can pick up any guy and he can be so dazzled, and then she gets a stomach bug or maybe has a girls night out once in awhile, and there it goes, all over someone's car, all over someone's bathroom, hours and hours of misery while her poor nervous system is cranked up to defcon one.

    What is the earliest photograph of yourself that you have that you remember when it was taken?
    I never was much of a self portrait person for years, just never thought to even look in a mirror most of the time, even though people all around me take hundreds of pictures of themselves, and one friend even gave me a whole cd full of herself for some reason. But the last few years I've been practicing, and I mostly just wind up with stuff like this.

    How did you meet your first boyfriend or girlfriend?
    I'm so backward with the Asperger's (now being lumped back into Autism Spectrum Disorders, wish they'd make up their minds) that I was in my 30's before I realized that the little boy I slugged in the second grade for kissing me on the playground and then I chased all over the place up through 5th grade could actually be defined by gradeschool standards as a 'boyfriend'. I never had another boyfriend through the whole rest of school.

    Describe your typical day, from wake to sleep.

    Dazed, confused, hysterically ridiculous, and recklessly absorbed in my obsession du jour.

    What would be your ideal birthday present, and why?
    Well, I've pretty much already gotten Christmas. Scott upgraded our broadband and bought me a smart phone. If I had the money I'd upgrade to business broadband and purchase a few more gigs on my phone plan.

    Think of a loved one that you have lost. If you could ask this person one question, what would you ask, and what do you think they would say?
    Scott and I have already thought of this. He says he's going to get a safe deposit box for the insurance papers so I won't have to run a seance trying to ask him, because he's so bad about packing things in unlabeled boxes and moving them around all the time. I'm pretty sure he'll be as ADD after death as he is in life, and will be impatient to move on.

    What is the best advice you ever received?
    I don't know why I think I remember a bible verse about a prophet telling an evil king to go back to bed for another hour so his people can get some relief, but whatever it was impressed me when I was younger. I haven't been able to find it, and when stuff like this happens it feels all Matrix-y, like something changed, and maybe I really do remember something because my brain didn't completely readjust. Or like maybe time travel is real and people really do go back and change little things in history. I remember when I was a preteen crawling through the hay gathering eggs, was suddenly gripped with the weird thought that when I come back out, everything was changed, and I didn't know who the president was. That was back in the 70's, I had never seen any scifi like that, had never seen a Twilight Zone, etc. I have a cousin who experiences stuff like that, too, said one day in grade school he was terrified because the teacher handed him back a paper with a good grade on it, and he *knew* he didn't do that work, and walking home after school through a vacant lot he freaked out about a tree being gone, and his sister said there was never a tree there. Either he and I drift through parallel lives, or things really do change, or we're crazy, and my psychologist has assured me I'm not crazy. Anyway, it really bothers me that I can't ever find that bible verse. If anyone else knows what I'm talking about, ~please~ put it in my comments. Otherwise I can only assume I'm on my way to early Alzheimer's or something. :edit: 6-3-14 Someone reminded me that was Linus 'quoting' to Charlie Brown.

    If you were to die today what would like people to say about you?
    At this point, no one would have a clue because I've disappeared off the internet before, so no one would say much of anything. But if you really want to know how to know, my photobucket premium will expire and most of my images will disappear off my blogs, but my blogs will still be there.

    If you could be anybody, who would you be?
    I sometimes think it would be super cool if we could swap bodies with someone for a day, but I can see all kinds of charges and litigations popping up over that kind of stuff. And it would be super weird if it was like Being John Malkovich. Bodies are like our local address in the big cosmology of spacetime, if you want to get all new age-y, and no matter what else, we always wind up having to come back to our own bodies that we're born into (assuming people really can astral project and whatever). If we weren't tied down like this and really could move in and out of bodies like we get in and out of cars, can you imagine the weird kinds of violence and cruelty we could invent? It's one thing to rape someone else's body, imagine being able to steal it or use it for something the original 'owner' wouldn't like. People with stronger spirit wills would cast weaker people out and take their bodies and force whatever pleasure and use they could out of them and then move on when they quit working. It's like a blessing we're *stuck* in our own bodies.

    What is the most important aspect of your life and why?
    My mind, ego, world view, whatever you want to call it. My attitude has gotten me through a LOT of stuff. When life sux, you flop on your face for awhile, then you get pissed off and kick back. And since I'm getting a message that these vids won't play through a website or something, I'm giving you two versions of it, both awesome, both click out to the original youtube pages.:edit: Forget that, both got wiped, here, have another one.

    Where would you travel, if you could go anywhere?
    I like going to a variety of grocery stores. I know that's weird, but that's my thing. I like seeing all the different brands and prices and label art, the floor plans, the signage, etc. I'd rather go to a grocery store than just about anywhere else, I feel very at home in them.

    What time period you would like to be born in?
    Sometimes I have dreams where I'm way in the future, society has broken down all over the planet, geography has drastically changed, and I'm running around with other people through derelict buildings that are so old you almost can't tell anymore that they were structures. In one dream we were being chased by something big that looked like nothing I've ever seen, and got trapped in a blocked hallway that would otherwise have been open to the elements, and I remembered (???) that the sliding glass doors (how did I know what they were?) only needed power to close, and the rest of the dream was like I just hijacked this person's mind and tore open a panel and jimmied some wiring behind the buttons like you see people do on tv shows, the doors slid shut, and the animal couldn't come in. I woke up *right* after that, so I have no idea if those people ever got out of there, but I do remember being so surprised that worked, and wondering how in the world I knew that, and I realized *then* that the person whose head I was in had never seen electricity work. It's only one of many dreams where I'm riding along in someone else's head, and I'm not me at all. I think, if that could possibly have been real, that building was originally an underground facility on nuclear power or something. Can't explain it otherwise. My coolest remote dream ever was the accidental soul traveler.

    If your best friend came to you depressed and upset like you've never seen before, how would you react?
    This has happened. Situations like this are why I don't have friends. I need a t-shirt that says "I Suck", because with the Asperger's it takes at least 3 months for the 'oh...' to hit and realize what I should have done and said. Hmm, can't believe how many different kinds of I Suck tees came up on a search... I'm forever stepping innocently into the offensive without a thought or clue. It's kind of like when I wanted to find Black Rocks (a chicken breed) and my search bar autocorrected to black cocks, which I thought would also be chickens. And one time I looked up 'chicken fanciers' because there are dog and cat breed fanciers, right? I learned a LOT that day. Wo, free associated right off this question into sexland. See, this is why I suck as a friend, I really can't stay in the moment with your sadness. Here, have some fun stuff while I move on to the next question.

    Would you be a different person today if you had a different childhood?
    Different parents would have been phenomenal. I was jealous of kids who were adopted.

    If you could build a car customized just for you, what would it contain?
    A driver. Scott isn't always available. I'm ok with driving, but ever since my brain glitched, driving has become a little too interesting. It's like the little Tom-Tom voice in my head gets caught in the Matrix and has to redownload the map over and over while I circle around for a landing.

    When have you realized you were really wrong in your judgment about someone?
    I knew a girl named Nicole who looked like a young blond haired blue eyed Angelina Jolie without her makeup. Her agent got her a gig in the 2005 issue of 417 Bride, *wow*. I withheld judgment, but her life was a little ridiculous, and not for reasons you think. I know she got other gigs and was flown somewhere for a commercial or infomercial or something, but I have no idea where she is now.

    How do you react when you realize you've made a mistake?
    I'm never surprised. I've tried being horrified, like when I accidentally post something public instead of protected, but I can't keep up the momentum. The best thing to do is live your life like the way you keep your keychain. Mine is big because it's full of extra cool collectible stuff, and it's like that because I drop them a lot and more than once I've had to crawl under my front deck because they fell through a crack, but that stopped when I loaded it all up and made it too big to fall through the crack, right? We finally rebuilt the front deck and fixed all that, but it's so handy being able to grab, grip, and catch a really big keychain. That's what you do with your life, load it up with lots of easy stuff to hang onto when everything falls apart. That way when mistakes are made, you don't fall through any cracks.

    If you had to sacrifice one of your senses (taste, touch, smell, sight, hearing), which would you choose and why?
    Been there, done that, Bell's Palsy, sucked, ongoing nerve damage- I think the biggest loss for me was when I lost my joy for chocolate. That lasted about two years. When it came back I was ecstatic. Imagine never being able to taste chocolate again, wouldn't that suck?

    Who has more power the government or the people?
    George Soros. Fox Mulder is probably close to figuring out he's the link between the coming world government and the coming alien incursion.

    Did I recently have an interesting conversation?
    I can't believe out of all the Guido's and all the Spock's on twitter, no one has grabbed GuidoSpock. So I did. http://twitter.com/guidospock Wonder how that will turn out.

    Who is the person that I feel has altered the course of my morals and values, and how did they effect me?
    My Wookie Jesus t-shirt arrived in the mail last week. I got it on an online Black Friday deal for $13 from Glow-in-the-Dark Wookiee Jesus Shirt - The Oatmeal.

    What is my earliest or happiest memory?
    Is it annoying anyone else that the survey creator switched from 'you' and 'your' to 'me' and 'my'? What's up with that? Hey, they're still looking for the guy that I was tweeting about the other day during the manhunt only a couple miles from my house, and *now* they are saying he's armed and dangerous. Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night... I bet he gets a truckload of coal this year.

    Which amendment to the constitution is the most important to you and why?
    I really like the part that says the government can't walk into our houses and just accuse us of stuff and take anything away from us without due course. People used to be executed or thrown into jail at the drop of a hat. I think too many people today don't know this stuff.

    Is speech always free? When and where might it not be free?

    Who are you, and what did you do with the survey creator? Is this a group project, or is this the same person who asked if I've ever faked an orgasm?

    When were you the happiest this year?
    I'm ~always~ happy. I was especially happy that my mil didn't speak to me for 5 months.

    Recall a place, person or event, what emotion do you remember feeling most strongly?
    Do we need a little eye candy here? Just a little... You can click that pic if you want to follow his tweets.

    Which friend has had the greatest impact on your life and why?
    Perhaps I have a terribly flawed view on the holidays, but my fave ever holiday movie EVER is A Very Sunny Christmas - It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia. After having several **very bad** holiday seasons in a row, years of badness and suckiness, that movie made me so happy and floaty that I was able to get through an especially super sucky depressing year all ~smiles~. All I had to do was think of that movie.

    Describe your dream house, room by room.
    I had to do a House-Tree-Person during my guidance and counseling master's, and the teacher, who'd been testing people for 30 years, said he'd never seen anyone do actual house plans before. Basically, my house was the metaphorical gutted anatomy representation of my relationship with my mother. Most people with issues just do a lot of tile detailing on the roof, or lots of curly smoke coming out of the chimney, a cat in the window, all kinds of little details that indicate you're not sharing something that's bothering you. Me, I'm all splat, I will share EVERYTHING, I don't care who sees it or knows it, and I don't care how anyone feels about it. My dad has asked me to respect my mom (she died 3 years ago), and as long as he lives, I will respect my dad on that. But that doesn't mean I wouldn't share a few things in a book. You don't get your brain really twisted growing up for nothing.

    Imagine you are attending your dream concert—what songs would you want to be played? What does the stage look like?
    My dream concert is me alone, and an empty stage. I like music, I like the CDs I've got, I even like some of the people I listen to on them, but having to sit there in public surrounded by bodies and no way to escape the noise pulverizing my eardrums and the smells raking through my head and the lights stabbing into my brain is about as hell as it gets for me. #autistic I've tried going to concerts, I've worn earplugs and sunglasses in theaters, I've been medicated out of my mind to get through stuff, and I just can't do it anymore. My nervous system is like a cat on a car battery.

    If you could learn any new language, which one would you choose and why?
    I have never missed an episode of Ice Loves Coco. They are my favorite power couple. And I LOVE Ice's book.

    What are a few qualities you dislike in other people, and why?
    I love self made people. I've noticed that the celebs I'm most drawn to are the ones who have completely reinvented the way something is done, or completely created themselves against mainstream media. I'm not crazy about whiners. I know, I'm a pro, but seriously, would you be here if I were just whining about the same thing over and over about what qualities I dislike in other people? It's more fun to think about what I *like*.

    What music makes you want to get up and dance? Why don't you?

    God help us all when I start chair dancing. Or car dancing. And I think I mentioned smashing my ankle last week dancing around.

    How would you spend your time if you were wealthy?
    I'd probably still take pictures of leaves. I can't help it, I think random symmetry is beautiful. I have been in love with leaves and all the patterns they make blowing around in the wind since I was a baby.

    What is one of your most personal hopes and dreams?
    I've had to really think about this one. And it's really hard to share with words. I ache to be part of everything, like the bones of the earth, the expanse of space, the endless dichotomies of water, the energy and movement of everything really fast and really slow, because it feels really weird to me to be localized into this one tiny being. I've never understood this feeling, and I can only chalk it up to being one of the wacked out synesthesia things I have to deal with. When friends think I want to meet celebrities or be 'someone' myself, they have no idea what is really in my head. I'm a people watcher ~because~ of the asperger's. I love the uniqueness each person has. But deep in my soul, it's like I can feel that the earth I'm on is just one tiny molecule in a very big swirl of being and time, and that is part of even bigger stuff, and I want to know ALL of it.

    How do others see you?
    I can't even imagine. I've given up trying to understand Scott's family, my own family mystifies me because I'm on a different planet than they are, friends have to keep their distance to survive me, famous people won't touch me with a stick. On the other hand, haters, weirdos, gamers, scifi junkies, and for some reason sex addicts really seem to love me. Probably because I don't demand anyone's affection and I love you all back as long as you don't creep me out or expect me to be your friend, because I suck at being friends, which I think I've already covered in a previous question. This is about the best video I've ever seen for me and Scott.

    Kinda wrestling with a youtube update and iframes, which don't always want to play 3rd party on my blogs, but I know the old embed code doesn't always play across new devices, either. I can jimmie all this back into old code and all the tubes will play great on a desktop and sometimes nothing else, or I can leave these as is and you can click directly to youtube if they won't play on this blog, but at least it's sharable across new devices. I'll be very happy one day when they get all the interfacing and sharing ironed out. I think the big hangup is how to keep it monetized, and I keep finding ways around it with code, and I need to just stop that. Time to go forward into the future with the rest of the robots. :edit: 6-3-14 I think Xanga is catching up with their migration code integration for the new editor, yay!

    What would you do if you had all the money in the world?
    How many questions does this survey have??? Every time I open this back up I find whole groups of questions I've missed. Let's see, money, this is a dumb question, isn't it? I mean, I guess I'm taking it too literally, so let's just pare it down a bit. What would I do if I had money to blow, how's that? Crank up my tech, pay off my family's bills, maybe get a Lamborghini. What I'd really like is a personal assistant, but every which way I think about that, I can't see me tolerating having one for very long. Maybe a gofer. I think I could handle that.

    Complete this sentence: Love is…
    ~Today~, love is all about getting some Christmas boxes pulled together full of homemade goodies to send in the mail later this week. These are pfeffernusse through a cookie press.

    What are you most grateful for?
    Very seriously, youtube. Youtube has been there for me through so much stuff. Finding other fans around the world who like the same things I like and do such creative and inspiring stuff beats just about any other media experience I've ever had.

    Why is your best friend your best friend?
    Not a lot of people tolerate me. Scott has never left me. I don't care what sucks or how stupid it gets, he has never walked away, and you have to really admire a person who cares enough to stick around like that. I could never hope to find a better best friend.

    What is a place that inspires you?
    Oops, I left a pan on. Glad I caught that. One of my biggest fears is burning the house down. Funny how I've never thought to put that into a survey, and it's not even the right question now. Let's see, inspiring place... Isn't this stunning? Dang, I need to remember to put that on pinterest.

    What is the best decision you have ever made in your life?
    Can I be honest? I've had to go back on pain pills the last couple of weeks like I haven't done in a long time, and I'm kind of floating through this whole survey. Anybody else on pain pills through the holidays? Makes it special, right? Hey, want a random impromptu interview? People look so different on skype. Several people have asked me this year if I skype, guess I need to learn how.

    Will You Impress A Person By Fighting Someone to get them to Like You?
    Wo, now we're capitalizing everything in the questions. This survey creator's head is all over the map. Super curious if there is some kind of psychological reason for all this style switching, because I got the survey off a site that forces you to sit there plugging questions in, you can't just paste a batch over. So whoever made this survey must have sat there for HOURS, and maybe got up and did stuff. Maybe more than one person is hanging out and they're taking turns. Maybe it's a slumber party or a dorm room, or maybe the survey creator is middle aged and has divergent personalities. Whatever. Here I am totally being distracted again. True story. This woman showed up on my doorstep some years ago, a fan (it's so weird that I have fans), and she hung out for a few days because I didn't know what else to do about it. So I took her with me to the video store one day, and she got all excited, hoping I'd get into a fight with the video store clerk, and I'm all like whaaaa? She tried to egg me on and everything. I was so confused, had no idea what was going on or why she was all excited and stuff. Found out later she'd forgotten her blood pressure pills. I am ~so glad~ she didn't have a medical emergency in my house. I think all wired up 'fight' issues are like that, whether they're rage or just plain wound up entertainment buzz. When your body is wound up, your mind gets wound up. When your body has issues, your mind has issues. When I see people with rage problems or getting excited about someone wanting to throw down, I figure something's wacked out in their chemicals. I can't even imagine feeling gleeful or good about getting in someone else's face. Anyway, then this woman went home and posted online all kinds of stuff about how I punched her and stuff, really ridiculous, and she just ate up all the attention she got. I just walked away. If she was that jealous of my internet friends that she had to go to such lengths to sabotage me and take my friends away from me, I don't need friends that are stupid enough to fall for that kind of stuff. And this kind of stuff has happened several times in different fandoms I've hung out in. People love train wrecks. They love fights. They'd rather schmooze all over an instigator, so, go schmooze. If that's your thing, that's your thing. There are people out there still duking it out over David Lee or Sammy, and all I can say is, if that's all you've got, your life must really suck.

    Do You Have demons in your life?
    I think they're frustrated that I haven't caved yet. I don't suck up and beg for leniency when life sux, I just keep doing surveys.

    Have You Ever Wanted To Be The Best Person In The World?
    Being the best something is a LOT of work. Now, being the *only* something, that's another story. I think I'm the only person on the internet right now doing an online Lexx marathon with hundreds of screen grabs, some that have never before been uploaded anywhere, especially on a public site. I never dreamed people would actually care, but there you go.

    Have You Wanted to Steal the Show At School?
    I can tell when some of you get impatient waiting for the next survey, it's real cute how you keep clicking around. I get the warm fuzzies.

    Are You Happy?
    I'm still thinking about that which sense would I rather lose question. Ever since I lost my sense of smell off and on for a couple of years, I can't tell you how awesome it is to be able to smell morning smells like coffee, bacon, and black pepper on my eggs.

    Whatever holidays you are celebrating or avoiding, I do hope that you have the nicest holiday season possible for YOU. You deserve it. And if the world doesn't end on the 21st, I hope 2013 is kind. If you actually read to the end of this, bless your heart.

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I've started transferring my survey posts over to Surveypalooza so people coming in from search engines on mobile devices will be able to see the surveys.


Apologies for the missing vids, another upgrade during the server migration swept through like a scan sweeping through the Enterprise. I'll fix those later, kinda busy...

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