Xander Bennett

  • the smooshed together survey

    I'm smooshing together and totally redoing a couple of ancient surveys I found from 2007 on a retired private blog, some of these questions are worth revisiting.  (:edit: 5-10-14 I just destroyed all the video codes fixing a single typo in this survey #sadpanda I forgot that the Xanga migration rewrote the video codes and the only way they stayed intact was NOT TOUCHING THEM, so I'll come back later and replace them. I'm sorry, I saw this post getting hit a bit lately, and one typo sucked me in... Give me a few days, I'm on vacation right now. Sorry.)
    1. You're in the hospital, who on your top 8 comes to visit you?
    Please don't jinx me and say I'm in the hospital... I used to have the Priceline Negotiator in my top 8 on one of my old myspaces, might be a little weird if he came to see me. Even scarier, his daughter... (wow, remember when people fought over being in the top 8?)
    That's one of those new embed code iframe tubes so you can see it on a smart phone but it won't play third party through just any ol' blog... I pray for smoother interface in the very near future, perhaps to be announced at the next E3?
    2. If alcohol were banned, what would your reaction be?
    There goes my fave Listerene, 'real' vanilla, and Port Wine cheese balls. I think I'd be pretty ticked. I know, what the crap! I lead with a COMMERCIAL??? I promise you guys, I'm not being paid to do that, I just really have this thing for the Priceline Negotiator. Like Bruce Campbell says-
    3. You cd collection is reposessed. you can keep one?
    My luck I'd be stuck with something like TV Theme Songs from the 70's. Repo'd? Who thinks of questions like this? Do people still melt their cd collections in hot cars? 
    4. Do you believe world peace is possible?
    I believe we already have world peace. Think about it. 90% of about 8 billion people are pretty peaceful. It's the other 10% that just don't 'get' it. THEY keep trying to disrupt world peace. I blame the Goa'uld.
    5. I'm a genie. Name your wish.
    I am so ready for this weird ladybug infestation to be over. They are on *everything*. Yeah, you think they're cute, you've never had a thousand ladybugs inside your house. This little guy was nearly in my mouth before I noticed him.
    6. Name one thing about the opposite sex that turns you off?
    I've never understood the whole Elvis Presley thing, but I really really REALLY want a Flying Elvi t-shirt.
    7. Name one thing about the opposite sex that automatically turns you on?
    At the risk of turning this one question into an entire survey of its own, let's just please note that Andrew Lee Potts is AWESOME, and if you wanna see more of what he's doing *right now*, you need to click on the twitter linx I'm about to provide.
    He was nerdy cool in Primeval.
    I like his Hatter waaaaaayyyyyy better than Johnny Depp's. Gah, there are so many good Hatter vids, it was really hard to choose just one. Fans do incredible stuff on youtube.
    And Andrew Lee Potts is making a film that you can all practically live follow the progress of on Stolen Light Film on Facebook and Stolen Light Film on Twitter and Stolen Light Film on Tumblr. There is no excuse to miss this, here's your teaser. Stolen Light - Teaser 1 on VimeoSo if you want more live updates on what Andrew Lee Potts is doing, be a good fan and follow these other twitters, too.
    8. Speaking of same sex, what did you think about Brokeback Mountain?
    Ok, that's so outdated that I have to change it. What do y'all think of Merthur? Or Brolin, as some are wont. (For the less well read, wont is a real word.) If you don't like gay stuff, skip this question and go on to number 9, thanx. I thought this vid was just darn cute, and the fan who put it together did some really brilliant editing.
    9. What are you obsessive about?
    Proper comma placement. Oh, what the heck, that's all going out the door with twitter, right? Life is too short to twitter stress, just hash it up and throw it out there in 140 characters or less.
    10. Leather face is in the kitchen. (the guy from texas chainsaw massacre)
    He can kill that big spider and do my dishes while I continue watching the Web Soup marathon on G4. I am quietly dying inside over whether all that E3 and Comic-Con coverage will be parseled out to other media vendors now or what, but we're talking HOURS AND HOURS of possible lost coverage. *tears* *catching my breath* Back to Web Soup with Chris Hardwick to assuage my angsty feels. (In case you got lost in all that, G4 is rebranding soon.)
    I did not know what the heck was up with Chris talking about his 'ex-wife Barbara' on the show until I got a twitter account and she followed me. 'Barbara', for the rest of you who don't get it yet, is Ann Sandretto, and if you wanna know more you can look her up yourself.
    11. Do people underestimate you?
    Nearly every single super awesome scifi series ever made about earth destruction, takeover, and sheer human survival has been canceled. What are the odds that Defiance will also be canceled? And people not having a clue will go to look it up and run right into a film about Jewish brothers escaping from the Nazis instead of a multi-platform shooter MMO that interconnects with a global television program on Syfy... Personally, the mangled Arch in the graphics is freaking me out. I've been up at the top of the St. Louis Arch, it's *terrifying*.
    12. When you're in a bad mood, what will always put you in a better mood?
    Offer me food. Never fails. And I like watching the weather screen on my phone at night when I can't sleep. I can pick a city and watch it rain or snow or glide over the clouds in the moonlight.
    13. Honestly, do you talk about myspace in real life?
    The old 2007 answer- "It's scary when someone walks up to me and tells me what they negatively commented on someone else's myspace just before that person shows up to a party at my house. Yeah, myspace can be pretty volatile and must be negotiated delicately." Ok, that really happened, and it got ten times worse when facebook came along (imagine me living next door to in-laws, yeah...). I'm not sure that it's psychologically healthy for people to get so wrapped up in using technology for their interpersonal interactions, so maybe it's best if I just nip this question in the bud and tell all the wandering souls reading this that I love you, I know it sux and none of it is fair, and I think you're awesome. I suck at facebook because I hardly ever go over there, but I find that much less stressful than feeling compulsed to check it all the time. I truly dig not getting comments, even when a post gets over a thousand hits. I'm like the magazine you find lying around at the doctor's office, you pick it up and read it, sometimes you tear a recipe or coupon out, and then you walk away. The best magazines are the ones that look the most shredded, am I right? And then you get all frustrated that the end of an article is missing, or someone tore out the joke page. Speaking of that, I try to go back and check youtubes every little bit and replace them if they don't work any more. I'm cool that way.
    14. Have you met someone online in person?
    Every time I go to the fitness center, locker #17 is empty, so that's the one I always get. I'm about ready to claim it as my own and tape up pictures of my boyfriend. That's right, I *finally* caught Scott in his underwear.  Despite knowing my intentions, all he could moan about was how fat his back looks, but dang, he's pretty hot for a guy his age. Now you can see what the big deal is when he walks around distracting me. All the cougars passing by in the locker room will gasp in shock but secretly be jealous.
    15. What do you hope to have accomplished by the end of the school year?
    I keep getting app promos for Candy Crush Saga and I fear that if I fall for that, I'll abandon everything else I'm doing and disappear. I got pretty caught up in Cascade one year until I was literally shaking from the super intensity I was able to focus into. Click the pic to go to the app for droid.

    16. Do you believe minimum wage should be raised?
    I'm actually thinking about the word 'carafe' at the moment. It doesn't sound as graceful out loud as it looks in print, but I think it's a better word than 'coffee pot'. I wonder if everyone I know will think I'm a dork if I start referring to our coffee pot as a carafe. I think more than one person will automatically have to say something about a giraffe after I do. Funny what a big deal something this little is.
    17. Do you have any really crazy relatives?
    Literally or figuratively? There are both, but I'm curious what we're looking for here, some kind of tongue in cheek or some admission of family genetics gone bizarrely awry. I'm the one with the chickens, and if it weren't for this nasty cold weather, allergies, and a rabid fear of spiders, I'd probably be hanging out in the chicken house with my girls (my peeps, haha) right now because Scott wired it for electric. Cool, huh? #crazychickenlady
    18. Pretend you're 15 deep in beers. Describe what you would be doing?
    If they were in those tiny little "baby" mugs like you used to be able to get from A&W, I'd be passing around tiny little root beers to all my friends and loved ones. I really actually own one of those. They are so cute.
    19. Does everyone in your life know the real you?
    They are terrified to know the real me. The real me never seems to shut up. That's probably why I'm doing so well on twitter... Being on twitter is kinda like being part of the Borg, all the tweeting going on all the time, being part of a Collective, all our minds tied into timelines and 'feed', we're never alone. You can follow me on twitter at PinkyGuerrero on Twitter.
    20. Last thing you said about a guy/ girl?
    If I were ever being tortured for important information like my passwords, I would never be able to remember them. I'm one of those people who meticulously creates wild and crazy passwords that I constantly have to look up. But what I ~could~ do is easily rattle out my lengthy library card account number. I've typed it in so many times over the years that it could almost be my own name. I'm only saying this because I can't remember what the last thing was I said about anybody. That kind of stuff tends to fall right out of my head.
    21. What is the most ridiculous fear you have?
    That I might have a spider riding on my head at any given point in time. Don't laugh, this has really happened. After a softball game one night, a teenage turantula jumped off my head into my bathwater with me. I never sat on or leaned against the bleachers the rest of the season. It's terrifying to think you can't really feel something that big on your head the whole trip home in a car. I wear ballcaps now, yeah, like duh, THAT'S what they're for...
    22. Do you know anyone in prison?
    'Twitter jail' cracks me up. You hit an hourly or daily limit and suddenly you can't tweet any more, but experienced users just switch to alt accounts and keep going.
    The only thing I can think to compare twitter to that makes sense for people who don't have it is like being able to hear the baseball game on the radio when you're stuck in traffic, or like being able to have multiple conversations with several people all at once while you also read the paper and watch tv, there is no other media that so immediately connects you to everything that is happening right *now* that you are interested in. Like the Superbowl blackout. That. was. awesome.
    Sorry, I get a little carried away with twitter talk. Here, have a scary video to finish melting your mind. Close your eyes and plug your ears if you don't want to suffer brain damage. 
    23. When is the last time you ate Peanut butter and jelly?
    I'm allergic. Hey, have you guys seen The Americans? Scott got so freaked out he started thinking maybe all our neighbors are Russians spying on us. I reminded him the tv show is set in the 1980's. Probably doesn't help that we marathoned through all 8 seasons of 24 again a couple of years ago. Wonder if there are still any good Jack Bauer videos hanging around youtube... Oh, here we go, hadn't seen this one yet. 
    24. When did you last have a home cooked meal?
    I'm having trouble wanting to eat this week, hoping it's just a bug. Hurt weird all over, kinda rubbery, nothing sounds good. Scott had to go pick up his own Superbowl munchies this year. Sorry, no food pix this round.
    25. Have you ever gotten naked at a party?
    Here's the latest ultrasound my oldest got just today! I've never been a gramma before, but I have chickens and I think that will make me the cool one to come visit. Scott is already planning out a trip to take both the girls and their kids to the big Star Wars thing that Disney will have, but it might be a few years. Gotta finish manufacturing the new humans and get them somewhat functional first.
    26. Name who you miss.
    I am always blown away at how far people will go. I mean, LARPing South Park???
    27. Are you named after a grandparent?
    I have answered this so many times in surveys, will you people please stop naming your kids after grandparents? It's apparently bugging quite a few survey creators.
    28. Who loves you?
    My chickens think I'm the bomb. I wish I was twitter linked to their little minds and could catch what they were thinking in a timeline feed.
    29. Do you throw up gang signs?
    Better watch yourself, never know when you're going to get sucked into a time vortex and run into this guy.

    30. Have you ever broken a rib?
    If I did, no one has ever known. We didn't go to doctors much growing up, and my parents didn't tolerate puny whiners. I could be mangled by a crazed farm animal and still have to go do my chores. I stepped barefoot on a copperhead once. I'm no wimp. Yeah, it wasn't on purpose. Snake was just as freaked out as I was, zoomed like the snake devil was after it while I cleared a 4 foot gate.
    31. Last song you heard?
    I just found this on youtube, I wanna see it really bad. Comes out in June 2013.
    32. What was the last thing you ate?
    Oh, people people people. Chocolate chip cookie dough. THAT'S RIGHT, I'm making cookies!!!! I multitask like a maniac. It's really sad that I can't just hand you one through your screen as a thank you for visiting my site. Thank you, though, I really appreciate you stopping by.
    33. How do you feel RIGHT now?
    Waaaay better than yesterday. Remember I couldn't answer the what's the last thing you ate question? And I said I wouldn't have any food pix this time? Guess what...
    34. Have you driven anywhere today?
    Ok, that was cruel. But I really do make the awesomest chocolate chip cookies ever. Hot, soft, melty gooey chocolate chips....
    35. Whats your hair like?
    This is the first pony tail I've had in about 5 years, growing it out. There was a time it was over two feet long, lately it's been short and fun. Kind of in a transition stage right now. You can easily find the t-shirt by putting 'Wesley Crushers t-shirt' in your search bar. A young lady at my bank cracked the biggest smile when I walked in, great way to tag the nerdy people in your life, just wear a cool tee. 
    36. Would you ever work for the border patrol?
    Scott checks the yard for what the neighborhood dogs leave behind. I get full reports with great enthusiasm about how he's going to get even.
    37. Who's car were you in last?
    My own. And since this question is so boring, I'll tell you a true story from my old car days. Our former neighbor, well off older man with a nice house, traveled a lot, also into wood carving and composting, but he had a terrible time with mice getting into his house. An entire nest of them lived under the compost pile he so carefully nurtured. After he died and the compost pile croaked off, the mice moved around a bit, and one got into the trunk of my car somehow and made a nest, which we didn't find until later. I drove into town one morning, stopped in at McDonald's, was inside eating my breakfast when customers stood up shouting, Look, a *mouse*! And I looked up to where everyone was pointing out the window, and sure enough, there was this big monster mouse running across the parking lot toward the building, and of course, I can clearly see that if he's going in a straight line, he must have come from MY car. omg. So I quietly finished my breakfast and left as quickly as possible and have wondered ever since then whether that McDonald's had to go through an extra inspection and pricey extermination over me bringing the biggest mouse anyone ever saw into town unawares.
    38. Where did u go?
    Oh, I had no idea the above question would be continued. I'm so glad now that I entertained you, because this one would have had no answer.
    39. What High School are you going to?
    I'm surprised to find myself running with a twitter gang, and I'm not sure there's a way out. I think I made it through initiation, not sure when I'll have to get the tattoo and cut off someone's thumb, but it's nice to belong, and I get perks all over their territory, and you can, too, come play with us!  Click the banner to go check it out.

    40. Are you going to homecoming?
    With my last batch of chickens I was able to figure out who laid which eggs, but I'm having a tougher time with this bunch. See that pretty speckled one? No idea, but I'm pretty sure it's not T'Pol's because she's not a heavy laying breed and we get one of these nearly every day. I'm betting it's Myka's, she's a production cross called an Indian River. The rest I'm pretty sure about.
    41. Have you ever been in an interracial relationship?
    I used to have this duck... I got a kick out of how badly the hens beat the crap out of him, but it never stopped him from trying again, over and over and over. I caught one of their fights on camera and put it on a youtube called Menage a Trois Gone Awry and didn't realize for years that it got all those hits because people thought it was a sex video. Sorry, it's gone now.  I'm dumb and deleted it.
    42. Is your birthday on a holiday?
    I was born on United Nations Day, which is one day after Weird Al's birthday.
    43. Are you old enough to vote?
    There was no vote, the groundhog said spring WILL come early this year, and no one can stop it. He's probably part of a crime fighting group hellbent on stopping an evil overlord conspiring to force us all into submission. I say Go Groundhog, yeah! 

    44. Do you have any friends or family in the war right now?
    The best way to eat bbq ribs is right over the pan they just cooked in. I just stopped and ate some. Live action survey here, folks! Ew. Oh, nevermind, that's just sauce on my keyboard. Little bit sticky now. And yes, I know people in the military. They rock. I hope they get awesome bbq ribs, too.
    45. Are you a vegitarian?
    No, but I'm an excellent speller. I do like vegetables, though.
    46. Do you worry about global warming?
    I worry more what's going to happen when I am forced to drive an electric car and desperately need a recharge and I'm still a mile from my house in very inclement weather. It'll be as fun as running out of gas all the time. I'm answering this question while I watch Nemo coverage on the weather channel. 
    47. Do you like polar bears
    I've heard that if you eat polar bear liver it will kill you because the vitamin A is so toxic. So if I have to eat a polar bear, I will probably stick to the filet mignon part.
    48. Do you like alligators?
    I have eaten alligator tail, and somewhere there is an alligator running around with a stub. I feel sorta bad about that.
    49. Which of the Marley brothers do you like best?
    I wanna change this. Which of The Sklar Brothers do you like best? I tend to go for glasses.
    50. What slang word do you call marijuana?
    Ha, this survey was written by a teenager on pot. How funny.
    51. Do you have to get your wisdom teeth out?
    No, but I bet you do, you rascally survey creator. Ask me if I've ever had heart surgery or something.

    52. Ashley or Mary-Kate?
    Kathy Griffin This pot smoking survey creator with a wisdom teeth problem has a crush on the Olsen twins. Of all the things I've ever put into a survey that could lose me followers, it's probably Kathy, but it's not like I inundate you people with her, so jump down to 53 if this annoyed you.

    53. Do you wear your sweetie's clothes?
    My sweetie crawls under the car and climbs all over the roof, there is no way I'm putting those clothes on. I fuss at him a lot for bringing spiders in. They hitchhike in and drop off in the kitchen as he walks by me, can't tell you how many times this has actually happened, and even though he might have *just* got back from deer hunting through all kinds of brush and wilderness, he never believes he's the one bringing spiders in.

    54. Do you have a tan?
    If you're into white Irish actor/directors named Eoin, there's a whole pinterest full of him at Eoin Macken. If you wanna know more go to his site at Blank Canvas Pictures. I'm mostly doing this because I like to irritate him, he retweeted me the other day, and I made a new friend on twitter because of it.

    55. Where were you one hour ago?
    Just one? Probably in the kitchen looking for something to eat.
    56. Life.. how do you feel about it?
    It sux, but I don't care. What the heck, I'll take it anyway. I kind of think pain is what drives us and makes us human, and I defy some wimpy alien to come inhabit THIS body.... BWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!
    57. Have you ever logged on to your bf/gf/crush's Myspace page?
    Scott is so paranoid he won't even let me watch him type in a password to one of his fantasy football teams so I won't be able to sabotage them after he took my team over and made me LOSE. >=l
    58. Which do you enjoy more: Soccer or Hockey
    I think I'm at zero on both. There is no 'more' than the other. However, I'm interested in Celebrity Soccer 6 because Team Merlin was at and near the top the last two years, and that's Team Merlin from the tv show Merlin, not the plane and helicopter stuff. You can get updates from SoccerSix on Twitter "The worlds biggest celebrity football tournament. 2013 dates coming soon!" SoccerSix recentaly retweeted me, too, pretty cool.
    59. Name someone you love.
    This is the other grandbaby under construction, 13 weeks. 
    60. Would you rather have a million dollars or true love?
    I've already got the true love, working on the million bucks. 
    61. Which of your MySpace friends has a naughty piercing?
    Every time I see the word MySpace in this survey I have flashbacks to what the world was like before facebook. MySpace was so a hundred years ago. That was even before I started following Wil Wheaton on twitter. I started following Anne (his wife) last month because I discovered it adds so much more depth to Wil's tweets. That very tweet Wil made right there is the one that compelled me to follow Anne on twitter, I couldn't imagine what he was talking about.
    62. Is your boyfriend/girlfriend a marine?
    "Scott is a workhorse. He is TOUGHER than a marine. He can carry a hundred pound river rock up a hill and then go get another one, and do this for a couple of hours before he even stops to get a drink. And he's not even a great big muscley guy." --Ok, I wrote that 6 years ago, before he wound up having hernia surgery... 
    63. Are you currently in a relationship?
    I *nearly* got Xander Bennett's book Cages for 2 cents on Amazon.com last November. That's right 2 pennies. I'm sure it was a typo. The order went through just fine, $4.01 with shipping, got notice of a ship date 3 days later, waited and waited and waited... Finally contacted Amazon in January and said Hey, whadup, didn't get my book, so they refunded. I looked it up again, discovered there are both new and used copies going for over $100 (one is currently at $169). Granted, some new and used are still under $40 (I got a good used one for about $30), but I think maybe those sellers just aren't aware other sellers are asking for way more because it's out of print. And I think the 2 cent seller I accidentally found must have panicked when my order came through and saw the 2 cent thing, held onto the book, entered a fake ship invoice, and sat back waiting for me to be refunded. It's all kind of funny, too bad it didn't slip on through, because I would have loved being able to say I got it for 2 cents. I asked Xander if he gets anything at all out of the copies going for over $100, he said not a dime from anyone. I looked up the publisher, they went out of business in 2010, and I'm thinking what a good lesson I'm learning for my own future. Mainly, if my publisher crashes, buy the books back up myself and relist them for collector prices because they're rare and out of print... Anyway, Cages is a cool story in the form of a bound comic (Melanie Cook illustrated), would love to see it as a movie, and here's a teaser.
    64. Would you rather date someone 2 years younger or older?
    I always sucked at dating. It was such a relief to get married and not have to go through the angst of dating any more. The few times in the past that I thought of divorce, just the fleeting thoughts of having to date again were enough to move my contentment back up a few notches. Way past that now, Scott and I went out on a date to AutoZone this morning and it was pretty awesome.  It's nice being best friends.
    65. What's your favorite junk food?
    Coffee. I know that's weird. I can have only half a cup a day because I'm so hypersensitive to caffeine, so I buy really nice expensive coffee for a beautiful experience.
    66. Who was the last person who messaged you?
    A twitter friend. I am ~really~ digging this commercial. I have to use the new iframe code so if you're on a computer you might have to click out to see it, sorry, but it's worth it. 
    67. Do you know what your wearing the 1st day of school?
    I just had a sobering thought. You know how it's always happy hour somewhere in the world? It's always the first day of school or training somewhere in the world.
    68. Are you taller than 5'6?
    Fernando doesn't seem too worried about it.
    Let's have a good day!  
  • Fun Myspace Survey


    What did you do last night?
    Anyone else see Continuum on Syfy yet? What is up with the who's who of scifi actors in the cast? I mean, could they not get work anywhere else and they ALL wound up on the same show? Or is it an attempt on production's part to keep another new show from being canceled with a super solid cast line up? I think Smoking Man being in it iced the cake.
    What was the first thing you thought about in the morning?
    Xander Bennett keeps going on about Holy Motors being so awesome, and about the time I start wondering why in the world you don't even hear about this stuff in the U.S., he tweets a link to "best speech ever". I love this trailer, it totally hooked me.
    What are you wearing right now?
    It's so tempting to make something up, but I'm not sure anything can beat my noir lace crazy 'paisley' lounge pants. They're super soft, by Liz Claiborne.
    Are you in love with someone?
    My fave Big Bang Theory character is Stuart. You can go vote on the right side of that page. He's kind of got the same rabbit caught in the headlights approach to life assessment that Scott has.
    When was the last time you got drunk?
    There used to be a fansite called the Church of Buscemi, wonder whatever happened to that. Little bit of free association here, I read that question and Trees Lounge popped into my head, my fave Steve Buscemi film.
    Do you think you are a freak?
    I have figured out I'm a MerLexxian. It's all the thing now to smash your fave fandoms up into one description so you can blurb your stuff out faster on twitter and facebook. I might quite possibly be the only Merlexxian in the entire world. If you like the sound of that, you can follow me on twitter and tumblr. In the meantime, have some brain candy. If you've wondered if Colin Morgan and Xenia Seeberg have appeared on the same page ever before in the history of the internet, why yes, yes they have, on my tumblr. I screen grabbed it because stuff on tumblr moves around so fast, I think a couple of hours later these particular configurations were already gone. These thumbnails pop up pretty big when you click them.
    Partying or watching a movie?
    Probably juggling my snack and smart phone while I munch out and check my facebook feed during whatever is on tv, quite unlike the old days when I would check the Dune books out of the library because they were better than the movie. In the future I'll have brain implants and be able to incorporate several streams of media all at once without the fear of dropping crucial tech in the toilet.
    What pisses you off the most?
    About the time the prices went up on a number of goods, the price on my fave brand of toilet paper stayed the same, and I thought that was awesome, till I opened a package and the roll looked weird, and when I replaced the old tube, the new one was shorter in width by a good half inch, and the tube inside the paper was ridiculously bigger on the inside, so not only was there less toilet paper width (1/2" x length of roll), there was less paper wound up around the ridiculously bigger tube to equal the same size as the old roll with a smaller tube, and why in the world didn't they just raise the price on it? I can't imagine the cost involved in resetting all the machinery to make these changes.
    Last thing you questioned yourself on?
    I count on other people to catch my mistakes, like how I could have sworn Terra Nova had a season 2 still going in Australia after it was canceled in the U.S. I really don't mean to get people so excited, but that went on for a little while. They were cool about not throwing rocks at me. If you wanna follow my 'watchdog' list on twitter, go to https://twitter.com/PinkyGuerrero/watchdogs
    Bars or clubs?
    Last year around this time Scott was stuck on the giant drum (Bongo Bongo) in Zelda's Ocarina of Time. After several days of hearing it go on and on ~and on~ I finally dragged him over to a youtube I found on how to defeat it in 15 seconds. Click the pic below the youttube to go to the official Zelda site. Anyway, THIS year we have a preggo with severe morning sickness throwing up around the place, so we're a little distracted. Kinda miss Link running around the ol' kingdom.
    What is the main ringtone on your phone?
    I found a soft 'windchime' that no one can tell is my phone ringing because I have the sound turned down so low. I miss a lot of calls, but maybe that's the point.
    Where do you want to be at a year from now?
    That's what's plaguing John Carter. I finally saw that movie over the holidays and LOVED. IT. I loved the original A Princess of Mars movie with Traci Lords, too, because I love weird rambling B grade movies based on ancient scifi, but John Carter was awesome. And I really love her hair. I don't normally ooze this much love.
    How many kids would you like to have?
    My first two grandkids will be arriving this summer. I'm having flashbacks of Bartholomew and the Oobleck.
    What is your favorite trait about yourself?
    I'd love to say my rapier wit, but it turns out I don't really have one. I've been faking it all this time. I know! I seduced you under a guise! A pretense! But I'm still sexy, right? hahahahaha
    Anything bothering you right now?
    Not a thing. I can say that with all sincerity at this point in time. The trick is to skip questions like this until it's convenient. And watch fun youtube videos.
    What do you do to relieve stress?
    Any time I stall out I just shoot over to a survey and answer a couple of questions and I'm good to go again. It's like super intense brain sex, especially if you're being really honest. And since I just avoided the last question, it looks like I'm not in the mood for sex right now. That's actually not true, because I'm toying with you and that is even better brain sex.
    Do you like pickles?
    No one has ever invented pickle flavored gum.
    Are you proud of yourself?
    I'm going way too fast in my head to slow down and see how I feel about pride in my accomplishments. Whoosh, there I go. And I've long ago accepted that I'm a dork and make ridiculous blunders and say stupid things and that stopping to think about it is like getting sucked into the La Brea Tar Pits. A fave saying of mine that a passed dearly loved one used to say (which she got from Monty Python) is "How sweet to be an idiot and dip my brain in joy." Live your life, spring forth in joy, and don't worry about what the world thinks. I'm not very good at being a socially interactive human, but I love you for being human, we're all stuck in this together. *kiss*
    Do you wish upon stars?
    Who started that? Way back in the ancient days when people had ~nothing~ to do but look up at the sky at night and talk, I bet this got started because someone got really tired of hearing someone else whining and complaining and said, "Dude, if you wish on that star right there, your wish might come true" yada yada, the gods are up there with the stars yada yada, shut up and let me get some sleep now...
    What is your one possession you never want to lose?
    This is my mobile desktop that I have been doing all my Lexx work in for my nerd blog.
    And this is my mobile unit for this survey blog. As you can see, it can pack up and go out the door with me remarkably easy in a pinch.
    I have a whole stack of spirals with projects going in them. One day you might hold a book I've written in your hands and go Wo, I *know* her...
    Who was the last friend to walk out of your life?
    Does anybody remember Menudo? For this and the next 4 questions, see if you can metaphorically replace 'friend' with Menudo. No special reason, well, there is one, but the contortions I would have to go through explaining this friendship would explode your brain. Easier to just think about Menudo, trust me.
    Do you miss them?
    The fact that the sound is glitchy in one of the headphones in this youtube only adds to the one-sided complexities of a wildly imbalanced and flamboyant interpersonal relationship. The song is totally relevant.
    Would you want them back in your life?
    How can you NOT miss something that fake and colorful and ~fun~? But there's only one way to survive a fandom, and that's to be loyal to the fandom. It's not about our individual proprietary wants and who is going to beat who at their game. You're either a leader or a suck up, I can't be both.
    What is your relationship status?
    The sweet thing about having the smallest feet in the family is that no one ever borrows my shoes. K, where were we? Oh, yeah, I'm avoiding gossip like the plague. Here, have a youtube that fairly accurately describes my relationships with people. This is basically what happens when people try to use me for their own evil schemes without cluing me in first.
    Are you happy with that?
    I have recovered. I'm staying busy. But that was the worst friendship breakup ever, it hurt like suck far worse than anything haters ever did, it took a couple of years to get past, and I'm never going through that again. Just glad to see I'm not the only one who reacts to fandom stuff the way I did. tumblr, Actress Georgia King closes Twitter account after being targeted But coming back now with perspective and a really good personal support system, here's how I play going forward- spaz: haters gonna hate, in reaction to a couple of famous people I follow, nothing to do with the Merlin fandom at all in case you think that's what I'm saying because of that first link, which was only an example. -And we're done here. Moving on.
    Do your parents have myspace accounts?
    My dad thinks everyone in the world automatically has a facebook page. He barely owns enough tech to watch the local news. I've given up trying to explain the internet to him.
    Are the majority of your friends male or female?
    Scott is in the bathroom with the door closed. It's dark. I tap lightly and he flings the door open, full beam from his head lamp right in my eyes blinding me, and yells "WHAT! I'm about to do some delicate work!" Pieces from a light switch lie all over the counter around the sink. He says "I'm testing to see if I'll get shocked." I say "Um, shouldn't you just turn the electric to that fuse off?" He says "It might make the washing machine stop." I say "Priorities, I think I'd rather have the washer stop than you DIE."
    Exchanges like this are common. Surprises like these stopped surprising me a long time ago. I expect one day I'll find him croaked off somewhere from something stupid. People who make the Darwin Awards don't have SO's stopping them. Or maybe they do and they're like Scott, doing stuff without telling anyone first. My fave story is the guy who vacuumed a wasp nest.
    On a scale of 1-10 how much do you like sex?
    How about 75? Sex is awesome, as long as you leave me alone with my own devices. That was just begging for a bad pun. I lately have a mild brain sex fixation with Xander Bennett and I'm trying to hold myself down because I think I obviously need peeling off.
    Would you go back and change any part of your life?
    This youtube convinces me I'm on the right track every single time I see it.
    Do you believe love lasts forever?
    Love does, we don't. We are puny and weak and epic fail left and right. Even with love. I'm glad we have the chance to learn it, although practicing on each other without an instruction book gets a little rough. For this, I have more compassion and forgiveness for other people's lame attempts.
    If you saw someone broken down on the side of the road, would you stop to help?
    I have done that. I got $3000 for my efforts and a nice note calling me an angle. When someone's mom has a brain attack (seriously, aneurysm) and drives 400 miles to another state and sits in the cold rain by the side of the road out of gas too confused to do anything, I might just be the person that notices and stops to check on her and takes her home and puts clean clothes on her and feeds her in front of a space heater while I have a highway patrol person go through her purse and call her relatives because there is no way I'm going to go through someone else's purse like that without a witness after I've taken them home, because I'm terrified someone will try to charge me with kidnapping and theft. This world needs more angles noticing what's going on around them and less texting while we're driving, capiche? And I know I spelled that wrong. That's how it's spelled in the note. Oddly, that's how it's spelled just about every single time someone writes to me in a note that I'm an angle. I think that means I'm one of the extra special ones.
    What do you think of when you hear the word Cheese?
    *running off to get some cheese*
    What color are your bedsheets?
    Whats your favorite word?
    Let me go you one better and show you the funnest twitter interaction I've had all year.

    What does your favorite shirt say about you?
    It says I'm a super cool cult fan and you're not, neener neener. It says I know where to find really cool stuff on the internet and you don't, neener neener. It says you don't know what the heck I'm wearing and you think it's just another strange fixation on a weirdo's torso, but I refuse to change it to something from Old Navy, so suck it. Click the pic to go buy it yourself. Ok, for the uninitiated, that is Wist from season 1 of Lexx, 3rd movie.
    Do you laugh enough?
    I have noticed that every time I super load up two different browsers to the point of having to clear both caches just to be able to save my work and shut down that the next time I boot up my laptop thinks it has to go into a crash dump, and I figured out how to nip that one and avoid it. When you see a crash dump window, QUICK, turn your computer OFF asap, just push that button and KILL it. Wait a minute, then boot back up, you get a question asking if you wanna do something drastic like 'repair', just move the highlight up to 'start windows normally' and click, and everything is back to normal. I've done this 3 times over the last 9 months, nothing bad has ever happened. I laugh with glee. ~Disclaimer- I am not responsible for your computer crashing if you try this at home. I'm just a really lazy person when it comes to dealing with 'reality', and maybe this is all in my head.
    Do you believe that dreams come true?
    MINE do. Don't know about other people's. I create and fulfill my own dreams and destiny. No one else can hand that to me, despite everything they say and believe and promise. Worry about your own life, not my dreams. I think it's time for an awesome piece of King Arthur fan art that's been going around facebook, tumblr, and twitter, no idea who did it.
    Whats one thing you would change about yourself?
    Every time I run across this question I wonder how people can really sit there in a funk dwelling on what is wrong with their beautiful selves instead of plunging headlong into a super cool head world that makes being here seem dull and uninteresting. Can you imagine our pets (I have chickens) sitting around moping about what they hate about themselves? Like, the very thing you love about your pet, maybe that's what it hates about itself, and there is nothing you can do to cheer it up and convince it you really do love it for THAT. I love that we all have our own quirks and looks and points of view. This world would be such a drag if everyone really could change themselves to be what they *think* they want. Everyone would be the same.
    Have you ever read the book "the notebook"?
    I mean, I'm really busy. But I've heard about it. Guys, I just can't sit through that stuff. If you're going to be telling a nursing home story, it had better be Bubba Ho-Tep. Huge Bruce Campbell fan, and I follow him at https://twitter.com/GroovyBruce
    When was the last time you got a phone call?
    Exactly 10 hours and 39 minutes ago. I didn't pick up. I'm real bad to have my ringer muted.
    Where do you work?
    All over my house! And my deck, in my car, anywhere a mobile device goes. I do NOT work in traffic. I've missed being in a few hairy accidents with people who do. STOP THAT! If I think I *have* to text or tweet or write something in my notebook, I whip it into parking lots.
    Who is your favorite football team?
    Not saying these guys are my faves, but I can't help mentioning that the first time I saw the Seattle Seahawks play this year I immediately thought of Dredd for some reason. The futuristic 'we mean business' look is really cool.

    Have you ever bobbed for apples?
    Not sure if it's a plus to say that I'm really good at it...
    Have you ever thought you could do a better job at being president?
    HELL no. Egads. I have a hard enough time walking past Sir Gwaine on my Merlin calendar, I feel like he's judging me or something. Maybe I shouldn't have hung it right by the bathroom. Maybe behind a closet door where I wouldn't be walking by it all the time.
    If you could only drink one thing for the rest of your life, what would it be?
    Trick question, guys, always pick water because you can put a teabag or coffee grounds or drink mix in it.
    Whats one food you could eat everyday for the rest of your life?
    Let me make you drool. I cook like this all the time.
    What was your custume for halloween last year?
    Wo, we're getting close to the end. This survey has only taken me only two days this time, and that's with two trips into town that lasted several hours. I think it's safe to say I'm past the trippy holiday depression. I didn't wear a costume, I felt pretty ill that night. I did manage to hand out candy, though, thanx for asking.
    How many cousins do you have?
    I lost count a long time ago. When we were little kids we got piled all over beds and the floors during holiday sleepovers. I think one year there were 15 kids in one room. I was liberally stepped on in the middle of the night, one kid rolled off a bed right on me (get the wind knocked out in your sleep, happy holidays), oh, and throw a cat or two into the mix. I had a cat that liked to sleep on my head, I think her nerves scooted her back out the door that night. And that's only a handful of the cousins. I have cousins across the continent. I'm not very good at keeping in touch. Ok, I suck at it. But there you go.
    Your in line at Taco Bell, whats your order?
    I'm a crunchy taco & 7 layer burrito person. Anyone remember the year Taco Bell was giving away a free taco because someone hit a home run or something? I drove to every Taco Bell I could find and ate really well for free that day. It was awesome. Here, I'll leave you drooling. Click the pic to go to their dotcom.

  • survey- Can You Spill Your Deep Dark Secrets?

    :edit: 6-3-14 The old youtube codes got wiped out, I can't remember what was there before so I'm replacing them with new ones. You wouldn't believe the code mess that involved me cleaning up, there are over 7000 words in here. O_o

    Can You Spill Your Deep Dark Secrets?

    From http://www.myspacebulletins.com/takesurvey.php?id=721

    Who is the last person that hurt your feelings?
    Apparently I forgave and forgot, because I can't recall a thing. Or maybe I wasn't paying attention, it's really hard to tell. I'm busy. Btw, now that I can see this on my new smart phone, I know that you sometimes get big gaps where there are youtubes. Be patient. Keep reading and come back.

    Would you consider plastic surgery?
    Scott got the staple gun out for this job. Yeah, I know it looks like he put them on the wrong side, but the street is on the left. Several shrubs in the yard got colored up, too.

    What is bothering you at this moment?
    I'm coming slowly down off one of those week-long migraines that travel down your spine, everything else by sheer comparison is a welcome distraction. Like Scott cleaning out his old tackle box all over the coffee table, I actually asked about some of his lures. He thinks I'm cool and like to talk to him about his little hooks and stuff, but it's really just me desperately looking for a way to claw out of this tangled sensory web I'm trapped in. Kinda like how he nearly got tangled up in his fishing line in the kitchen yesterday. He showed me how to make a blood knot, but I don't remember. (Ok, a week has gone by since I wrote that, I'm feeling better now.)

    Ever started a rumor about someone?
    I seriously considered spilling the beans that I was pregnant with Brian Downey's baby after MegaCon '07, because the fandom was already in a crazy tizzy, but decided no one would appreciate the joke. Scott would have gone along with it, he thought it was funny.

    Whats the craziest reason why you broke up with someone?
    Scott said it was to save money, but when I tried to schedule a blood test they had my file so mangled that they had me married to someone else, and calling back two more times kept twisting up the information more and more, so I finally said forget it, I'll just keep the old life insurance. The insurance broker tried to explain to me that the schedulers are just hired off the street and have nothing to do with the actual blood test or paperwork, but that underwhelmed me even more. These kids are old enough to text and drive, I bet they could do the work better if their desks were zooming around the office and they could only use their thumbs on a teeny tiny keypad. So I broke up with the people I was breaking up with the other people for.

    Have you ever been accused of cheating on a partner?
    I hide the snacks I buy, Scott hides the snacks he buys. Stuff like this can save a marriage. Well, except the cheese. Scott always finds my seriously sharp cheddar.

    Ever lied about your age?
    Scott once tried to get me to say I was 55 to get the senior discount. I was nowhere near 50 and protested, and he tried to swoon me with "They'll tell you how young you look!" This is why God made the evil eye, to keep nidiots in line.

    Last time you masterbated?
    That's spelled with a u, sweetheart, masturbated. No one ever asks really good questions about this kind of stuff. Like how much did I regret it later.

    Ever felt the need to change yourself for someone?
    Bathing regularly is a nice thing to do. I just erased a lengthy rant about lazy people who cover up their lack of bathing with expensive designer fragrances. Aiming this at young women in particular, after growing up with sisters, raising daughters, and picking up after girls in an intimates department fitting room for 5 years. USE SOAP.

    When is the last time you prayed?
    I pray for the weirdest stuff in my dreams. Hey, I know this is way off the subject, but I'm counting down till I can live stream Merlin at 1:55 this afternoon (7:55 UK time), and this advent calendar teaser just came through on twitter, so I'm sharing.

    :edit: due to technical difficulties, this video is being replaced.

    Do you watch porn?
    I am the one person you don't want in the room for a group porn watch. I can't help totally going MST3K all over it until everyone is ready to throw me off a balcony. Likewise, I've wondered a few times just how quickly I'd manage to kill an orgy, because I would be laughing so hard that no one would be able to focus. That's probably why villagers used to tie people to a rock as a sacrifice to the local demon, because what else do you do with someone like that. I'd be better off with Muppet porn, so I could be like Statler and Waldorf.

    Have any of your ex's turned gay?
    I told Scott if I were a guy he'd get better sex out of me because I'd totally be gay, but I don't think that frightens him as much as it should. I laughed at this hat so much yesterday that he switched to a different hat today.

    What do you wish you did for a living?
    Scott said he'll give me half if he ever wins the lottery, so I aspire to hope he wins for a living. Or maybe I'll get something published. I've gotta stop being so lazy... This would be a good pic for a caption.

    What is worse a cheater or a liar?
    Both make pretty good characters if you're writing something, according to Xander Bennett. He's one of the extremely few people I allow mobile alerts for day and night. http://twitter.com/xanderbennett Read- How to Write a Kick-Ass Protagonist by Xander Bennett | Script Frenzy

    Do you still have stuffed animals?
    Marcel is ticked that I haven't let him ride any of the chickens yet. It's on his bucket list. I think it's a little ambitious, and what if the chicken freaks out and takes off, will I ever find him again if he falls off, or will the other chickens try to attack him if I tie him on? But yeah, I did promise him that one day we could try it, and he's all excited, like he'd be riding a dinosaur like in Land of the Lost. I'd like to wait till they slack off on their laying first, last thing I need is a stressed out chicken with a stuck egg.
    What happens to the chicken when the eggs get stuck inside of her

    Do you dance around in your underwear?
    The last time I got excited enough to dance around I smashed my ankle on the coffee table. I don't think being in my underwear would have changed anything, unless I had hurt myself badly enough to have to call 9-1-1, and then it would have been memorable for a number of people. See, this is why I need really super cool underwear like John Barrowman, so my embarrassment won't come from how dumb my ordinary panties are. He is partnered with a Scott, too. We're very lucky, both our Scotts have awesome butts and thighs.

    Do you own a dildo or vibrator?
    I could say I don't need one because I get off just fine on everything else in the house, and it saves money, but that's probably tmi. I think some of the funniest pix on the internet are photo bombs with animals in them. I know, OT, but this question needed something more interesting than my epic fails.
    The 35 Greatest Animal Photobombers Of All Time

    Are you a picky person?
    Ex~treme~ly. I write letters to companies about their products and wind up with all kinds of coupons for free stuff. I guess that's how they shut people up.

    Do you wish your boobs were bigger?
    5:30 a.m., see a spider, try to hurry so I can get the spider before it gets away or crawls on me (it's within 8 inches of my foot and it looks like a brown recluse), but I can't stop peeing because my bladder is so full, and it's nearly at my foot and then going by and I'm really trying to hurry up, dang it, and FINALLY I can get up and grab that spider in some toilet paper and flush it down, thank goodness. Always when I'm peeing... Bigger boobs wouldn't have helped that situation. And I've had bigger boobs. I was glad they shrunk a bit when I lost 50 pounds.

    What do you find yourself doing while laying in bed?

    Getting back up constantly. I can't help it. I have gone so far as to get up and iron stuff at 3 in the morning. Sometimes I'm nearly asleep and an awesome idea blazes through my mind, and I have to sit up and write several pages of stuff. Usually I just flip through the Dish guide or check stuff on my laptop, once in awhile I read. And from what I see on twitter, I think half the world is like this. No, what you're thinking doesn't help.

    Ever been skinny dipping?
    I dip fat free chicken tenders in egg before I crumb and bake them.

    How many times have you checked up on your ex?
    We keep an eye on the obituaries. One can dream.

    Do you consider yourself trust worthy?
    You can completely trust me to be devious behind your back.

    Ever used a fake ID or one that wasn't you?
    I have seen people try to pass themselves off as someone else. This only works if you have the same skin color and gender of the ID you just stole. #tinybrains

    How old was your oldest sexual partner?
    Caution, sensitive stuff, close your eyes- I think the grossest pet butchering eating I've ever been through was an old Suffolk ram, my dad's delight, a blue ribbon winner in a big county fair out west, and the only animal we moved with us to Missouri- in the back of our station wagon. No kidding, he traveled in the car with us. I'm sure we looked like idiots. He threw wonderful lambs for many years, and even when he got too old to keep up, Dad couldn't bear to part with him, so he kept him around, which is a big thing on a farm where everything is supposed to be efficient and useful. That ram became a favorite for a calf that Dad decided to keep for a bull instead of selling it for a steer, and that calf humped the ram till he could barely cripple around at all. When the ram finally started losing weight, Dad made The Decision, and with tears in his eyes, led the ram out of the pen to butcher him. You know, I've eaten all kinds of young things, and mothers who weren't going to make it through birthing and whatever, but eating that really old crippled guy who'd been raped over and over till he could no longer walk was about as low as it could get. I'm not a PETA person, I still eat meat, but my stomach has been so turned over the years by certain kinds of neglect that get mistaken for fondness for one's pet that I can hardly stand being around people like that any more. People who own animals (slaves) have a responsibility, and whether we wind up eating them or not pales against the quality of life those animals lead. Just writing all this down made me feel a little sick. -Ok, you can open your eyes now.

    Have you ever faked an orgasm?
    I keep getting these weird factoids on twitter from various sources about snails and a certain kind of worm and a rare breed of frog, pretty much every kind of animal sooner or later, about copulation statistics, like how long their orgasms last or how many times they do it or whether they die afterward, and I think of all the things that have ever grossed me out about being human, at least we're not weirder or grosser, you know? And I see no sense in faking orgasms, that's a weird head game. I think it would behoove the public to receive weird factoids on twitter about what sorts of psychological situations motivate people not to be honest with each other. I just tell Scott to hurry up and get off me if there is any chance I might get super aroused, then super pissed because he's done and I'm not, and then bite his head off. It's a mutual arrangement that has contributed to nearly 20 ongoing successful years of marriage. He seems to appreciate that I don't make a big deal out of it every single time.

    If your last ex apologized would you get back with them?
    If my last ex apologizes, I will wonder what happened to time and space and hell freezing over. I don't think he has the fortitude, to be euphemistic. Actually, I have two exes of any significance, so this is a different one than the one in a previous question where I was checking obits.

    What family memeber are you closest to?
    I'm having the hardest time getting through this survey, have been working on it over a week already. This is the time of year that I either go numb and disengage my brain or join the cacophony of chaos that the holidays bring. (I wrote that a week ago, so now I'm in my second week of working on this. Here have a pie picture. It's chocolate, and the green sugar sprinkles are supposed to make it festive.)

    What does death teach us about life?
    See, like this question. I've passed this question about 50 times, but today I'm going to answer it. Yesterday I made a cool post on another blog about my old hen, pictures and everything, and mere hours after I posted it, a great big hawk got her. How many months has she been able to roam around the yard for a couple of hours every day and nothing happens, and the day I make a post about her, she dies a tragic murderous death. I jinxed her.

    If nothing was holding you back, where would you live and why?
    I love it when some goob says something on twitter about somebody famous, and someone else pops up with a reply about how they live only 3 doors down from them and it's really not like that, etc. Um, hit and run on twitter from a huge house on the same street as a celeb? Seriously, you have nothing *better* to do than stalk people who hashtag someone on your street? I think this is how you find people who really do have nothing holding them back and actually DO live wherever they want, like down the street from someone they've been stalking for years. Sooner or later, they just can't stand it any more and have to flush out of the bushes and say something. *wow* Creepy.

    When was the last time you cried?
    I was outside in the wind helping Scott hang Christmas lights around some of our little evergreen bush tree things, and the cold wind made my nose run and my eyes water. And then my left eyelid got so irritated that my eyes watered for over an hour after I came back in the house.

    What is the earliest memory you have of a sibling?
    Every time I listen to My Best Friend's Girl by the Cars and they get to the line "Every new boy that she meets doesn't know the real surprise" I crack up thinking about my youngest daughter puking her lungs out everywhere she goes. She's so cute and pretty and easily nauseated, she can pick up any guy and he can be so dazzled, and then she gets a stomach bug or maybe has a girls night out once in awhile, and there it goes, all over someone's car, all over someone's bathroom, hours and hours of misery while her poor nervous system is cranked up to defcon one.

    What is the earliest photograph of yourself that you have that you remember when it was taken?
    I never was much of a self portrait person for years, just never thought to even look in a mirror most of the time, even though people all around me take hundreds of pictures of themselves, and one friend even gave me a whole cd full of herself for some reason. But the last few years I've been practicing, and I mostly just wind up with stuff like this.

    How did you meet your first boyfriend or girlfriend?
    I'm so backward with the Asperger's (now being lumped back into Autism Spectrum Disorders, wish they'd make up their minds) that I was in my 30's before I realized that the little boy I slugged in the second grade for kissing me on the playground and then I chased all over the place up through 5th grade could actually be defined by gradeschool standards as a 'boyfriend'. I never had another boyfriend through the whole rest of school.

    Describe your typical day, from wake to sleep.

    Dazed, confused, hysterically ridiculous, and recklessly absorbed in my obsession du jour.

    What would be your ideal birthday present, and why?
    Well, I've pretty much already gotten Christmas. Scott upgraded our broadband and bought me a smart phone. If I had the money I'd upgrade to business broadband and purchase a few more gigs on my phone plan.

    Think of a loved one that you have lost. If you could ask this person one question, what would you ask, and what do you think they would say?
    Scott and I have already thought of this. He says he's going to get a safe deposit box for the insurance papers so I won't have to run a seance trying to ask him, because he's so bad about packing things in unlabeled boxes and moving them around all the time. I'm pretty sure he'll be as ADD after death as he is in life, and will be impatient to move on.

    What is the best advice you ever received?
    I don't know why I think I remember a bible verse about a prophet telling an evil king to go back to bed for another hour so his people can get some relief, but whatever it was impressed me when I was younger. I haven't been able to find it, and when stuff like this happens it feels all Matrix-y, like something changed, and maybe I really do remember something because my brain didn't completely readjust. Or like maybe time travel is real and people really do go back and change little things in history. I remember when I was a preteen crawling through the hay gathering eggs, was suddenly gripped with the weird thought that when I come back out, everything was changed, and I didn't know who the president was. That was back in the 70's, I had never seen any scifi like that, had never seen a Twilight Zone, etc. I have a cousin who experiences stuff like that, too, said one day in grade school he was terrified because the teacher handed him back a paper with a good grade on it, and he *knew* he didn't do that work, and walking home after school through a vacant lot he freaked out about a tree being gone, and his sister said there was never a tree there. Either he and I drift through parallel lives, or things really do change, or we're crazy, and my psychologist has assured me I'm not crazy. Anyway, it really bothers me that I can't ever find that bible verse. If anyone else knows what I'm talking about, ~please~ put it in my comments. Otherwise I can only assume I'm on my way to early Alzheimer's or something. :edit: 6-3-14 Someone reminded me that was Linus 'quoting' to Charlie Brown.

    If you were to die today what would like people to say about you?
    At this point, no one would have a clue because I've disappeared off the internet before, so no one would say much of anything. But if you really want to know how to know, my photobucket premium will expire and most of my images will disappear off my blogs, but my blogs will still be there.

    If you could be anybody, who would you be?
    I sometimes think it would be super cool if we could swap bodies with someone for a day, but I can see all kinds of charges and litigations popping up over that kind of stuff. And it would be super weird if it was like Being John Malkovich. Bodies are like our local address in the big cosmology of spacetime, if you want to get all new age-y, and no matter what else, we always wind up having to come back to our own bodies that we're born into (assuming people really can astral project and whatever). If we weren't tied down like this and really could move in and out of bodies like we get in and out of cars, can you imagine the weird kinds of violence and cruelty we could invent? It's one thing to rape someone else's body, imagine being able to steal it or use it for something the original 'owner' wouldn't like. People with stronger spirit wills would cast weaker people out and take their bodies and force whatever pleasure and use they could out of them and then move on when they quit working. It's like a blessing we're *stuck* in our own bodies.

    What is the most important aspect of your life and why?
    My mind, ego, world view, whatever you want to call it. My attitude has gotten me through a LOT of stuff. When life sux, you flop on your face for awhile, then you get pissed off and kick back. And since I'm getting a message that these vids won't play through a website or something, I'm giving you two versions of it, both awesome, both click out to the original youtube pages.:edit: Forget that, both got wiped, here, have another one.

    Where would you travel, if you could go anywhere?
    I like going to a variety of grocery stores. I know that's weird, but that's my thing. I like seeing all the different brands and prices and label art, the floor plans, the signage, etc. I'd rather go to a grocery store than just about anywhere else, I feel very at home in them.

    What time period you would like to be born in?
    Sometimes I have dreams where I'm way in the future, society has broken down all over the planet, geography has drastically changed, and I'm running around with other people through derelict buildings that are so old you almost can't tell anymore that they were structures. In one dream we were being chased by something big that looked like nothing I've ever seen, and got trapped in a blocked hallway that would otherwise have been open to the elements, and I remembered (???) that the sliding glass doors (how did I know what they were?) only needed power to close, and the rest of the dream was like I just hijacked this person's mind and tore open a panel and jimmied some wiring behind the buttons like you see people do on tv shows, the doors slid shut, and the animal couldn't come in. I woke up *right* after that, so I have no idea if those people ever got out of there, but I do remember being so surprised that worked, and wondering how in the world I knew that, and I realized *then* that the person whose head I was in had never seen electricity work. It's only one of many dreams where I'm riding along in someone else's head, and I'm not me at all. I think, if that could possibly have been real, that building was originally an underground facility on nuclear power or something. Can't explain it otherwise. My coolest remote dream ever was the accidental soul traveler.

    If your best friend came to you depressed and upset like you've never seen before, how would you react?
    This has happened. Situations like this are why I don't have friends. I need a t-shirt that says "I Suck", because with the Asperger's it takes at least 3 months for the 'oh...' to hit and realize what I should have done and said. Hmm, can't believe how many different kinds of I Suck tees came up on a search... I'm forever stepping innocently into the offensive without a thought or clue. It's kind of like when I wanted to find Black Rocks (a chicken breed) and my search bar autocorrected to black cocks, which I thought would also be chickens. And one time I looked up 'chicken fanciers' because there are dog and cat breed fanciers, right? I learned a LOT that day. Wo, free associated right off this question into sexland. See, this is why I suck as a friend, I really can't stay in the moment with your sadness. Here, have some fun stuff while I move on to the next question.

    Would you be a different person today if you had a different childhood?
    Different parents would have been phenomenal. I was jealous of kids who were adopted.

    If you could build a car customized just for you, what would it contain?
    A driver. Scott isn't always available. I'm ok with driving, but ever since my brain glitched, driving has become a little too interesting. It's like the little Tom-Tom voice in my head gets caught in the Matrix and has to redownload the map over and over while I circle around for a landing.

    When have you realized you were really wrong in your judgment about someone?
    I knew a girl named Nicole who looked like a young blond haired blue eyed Angelina Jolie without her makeup. Her agent got her a gig in the 2005 issue of 417 Bride, *wow*. I withheld judgment, but her life was a little ridiculous, and not for reasons you think. I know she got other gigs and was flown somewhere for a commercial or infomercial or something, but I have no idea where she is now.

    How do you react when you realize you've made a mistake?
    I'm never surprised. I've tried being horrified, like when I accidentally post something public instead of protected, but I can't keep up the momentum. The best thing to do is live your life like the way you keep your keychain. Mine is big because it's full of extra cool collectible stuff, and it's like that because I drop them a lot and more than once I've had to crawl under my front deck because they fell through a crack, but that stopped when I loaded it all up and made it too big to fall through the crack, right? We finally rebuilt the front deck and fixed all that, but it's so handy being able to grab, grip, and catch a really big keychain. That's what you do with your life, load it up with lots of easy stuff to hang onto when everything falls apart. That way when mistakes are made, you don't fall through any cracks.

    If you had to sacrifice one of your senses (taste, touch, smell, sight, hearing), which would you choose and why?
    Been there, done that, Bell's Palsy, sucked, ongoing nerve damage- I think the biggest loss for me was when I lost my joy for chocolate. That lasted about two years. When it came back I was ecstatic. Imagine never being able to taste chocolate again, wouldn't that suck?

    Who has more power the government or the people?
    George Soros. Fox Mulder is probably close to figuring out he's the link between the coming world government and the coming alien incursion.

    Did I recently have an interesting conversation?
    I can't believe out of all the Guido's and all the Spock's on twitter, no one has grabbed GuidoSpock. So I did. http://twitter.com/guidospock Wonder how that will turn out.

    Who is the person that I feel has altered the course of my morals and values, and how did they effect me?
    My Wookie Jesus t-shirt arrived in the mail last week. I got it on an online Black Friday deal for $13 from Glow-in-the-Dark Wookiee Jesus Shirt - The Oatmeal.

    What is my earliest or happiest memory?
    Is it annoying anyone else that the survey creator switched from 'you' and 'your' to 'me' and 'my'? What's up with that? Hey, they're still looking for the guy that I was tweeting about the other day during the manhunt only a couple miles from my house, and *now* they are saying he's armed and dangerous. Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night... I bet he gets a truckload of coal this year.

    Which amendment to the constitution is the most important to you and why?
    I really like the part that says the government can't walk into our houses and just accuse us of stuff and take anything away from us without due course. People used to be executed or thrown into jail at the drop of a hat. I think too many people today don't know this stuff.

    Is speech always free? When and where might it not be free?

    Who are you, and what did you do with the survey creator? Is this a group project, or is this the same person who asked if I've ever faked an orgasm?

    When were you the happiest this year?
    I'm ~always~ happy. I was especially happy that my mil didn't speak to me for 5 months.

    Recall a place, person or event, what emotion do you remember feeling most strongly?
    Do we need a little eye candy here? Just a little... You can click that pic if you want to follow his tweets.

    Which friend has had the greatest impact on your life and why?
    Perhaps I have a terribly flawed view on the holidays, but my fave ever holiday movie EVER is A Very Sunny Christmas - It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia. After having several **very bad** holiday seasons in a row, years of badness and suckiness, that movie made me so happy and floaty that I was able to get through an especially super sucky depressing year all ~smiles~. All I had to do was think of that movie.

    Describe your dream house, room by room.
    I had to do a House-Tree-Person during my guidance and counseling master's, and the teacher, who'd been testing people for 30 years, said he'd never seen anyone do actual house plans before. Basically, my house was the metaphorical gutted anatomy representation of my relationship with my mother. Most people with issues just do a lot of tile detailing on the roof, or lots of curly smoke coming out of the chimney, a cat in the window, all kinds of little details that indicate you're not sharing something that's bothering you. Me, I'm all splat, I will share EVERYTHING, I don't care who sees it or knows it, and I don't care how anyone feels about it. My dad has asked me to respect my mom (she died 3 years ago), and as long as he lives, I will respect my dad on that. But that doesn't mean I wouldn't share a few things in a book. You don't get your brain really twisted growing up for nothing.

    Imagine you are attending your dream concert—what songs would you want to be played? What does the stage look like?
    My dream concert is me alone, and an empty stage. I like music, I like the CDs I've got, I even like some of the people I listen to on them, but having to sit there in public surrounded by bodies and no way to escape the noise pulverizing my eardrums and the smells raking through my head and the lights stabbing into my brain is about as hell as it gets for me. #autistic I've tried going to concerts, I've worn earplugs and sunglasses in theaters, I've been medicated out of my mind to get through stuff, and I just can't do it anymore. My nervous system is like a cat on a car battery.

    If you could learn any new language, which one would you choose and why?
    I have never missed an episode of Ice Loves Coco. They are my favorite power couple. And I LOVE Ice's book.

    What are a few qualities you dislike in other people, and why?
    I love self made people. I've noticed that the celebs I'm most drawn to are the ones who have completely reinvented the way something is done, or completely created themselves against mainstream media. I'm not crazy about whiners. I know, I'm a pro, but seriously, would you be here if I were just whining about the same thing over and over about what qualities I dislike in other people? It's more fun to think about what I *like*.

    What music makes you want to get up and dance? Why don't you?

    God help us all when I start chair dancing. Or car dancing. And I think I mentioned smashing my ankle last week dancing around.

    How would you spend your time if you were wealthy?
    I'd probably still take pictures of leaves. I can't help it, I think random symmetry is beautiful. I have been in love with leaves and all the patterns they make blowing around in the wind since I was a baby.

    What is one of your most personal hopes and dreams?
    I've had to really think about this one. And it's really hard to share with words. I ache to be part of everything, like the bones of the earth, the expanse of space, the endless dichotomies of water, the energy and movement of everything really fast and really slow, because it feels really weird to me to be localized into this one tiny being. I've never understood this feeling, and I can only chalk it up to being one of the wacked out synesthesia things I have to deal with. When friends think I want to meet celebrities or be 'someone' myself, they have no idea what is really in my head. I'm a people watcher ~because~ of the asperger's. I love the uniqueness each person has. But deep in my soul, it's like I can feel that the earth I'm on is just one tiny molecule in a very big swirl of being and time, and that is part of even bigger stuff, and I want to know ALL of it.

    How do others see you?
    I can't even imagine. I've given up trying to understand Scott's family, my own family mystifies me because I'm on a different planet than they are, friends have to keep their distance to survive me, famous people won't touch me with a stick. On the other hand, haters, weirdos, gamers, scifi junkies, and for some reason sex addicts really seem to love me. Probably because I don't demand anyone's affection and I love you all back as long as you don't creep me out or expect me to be your friend, because I suck at being friends, which I think I've already covered in a previous question. This is about the best video I've ever seen for me and Scott.

    Kinda wrestling with a youtube update and iframes, which don't always want to play 3rd party on my blogs, but I know the old embed code doesn't always play across new devices, either. I can jimmie all this back into old code and all the tubes will play great on a desktop and sometimes nothing else, or I can leave these as is and you can click directly to youtube if they won't play on this blog, but at least it's sharable across new devices. I'll be very happy one day when they get all the interfacing and sharing ironed out. I think the big hangup is how to keep it monetized, and I keep finding ways around it with code, and I need to just stop that. Time to go forward into the future with the rest of the robots. :edit: 6-3-14 I think Xanga is catching up with their migration code integration for the new editor, yay!

    What would you do if you had all the money in the world?
    How many questions does this survey have??? Every time I open this back up I find whole groups of questions I've missed. Let's see, money, this is a dumb question, isn't it? I mean, I guess I'm taking it too literally, so let's just pare it down a bit. What would I do if I had money to blow, how's that? Crank up my tech, pay off my family's bills, maybe get a Lamborghini. What I'd really like is a personal assistant, but every which way I think about that, I can't see me tolerating having one for very long. Maybe a gofer. I think I could handle that.

    Complete this sentence: Love is…
    ~Today~, love is all about getting some Christmas boxes pulled together full of homemade goodies to send in the mail later this week. These are pfeffernusse through a cookie press.

    What are you most grateful for?
    Very seriously, youtube. Youtube has been there for me through so much stuff. Finding other fans around the world who like the same things I like and do such creative and inspiring stuff beats just about any other media experience I've ever had.

    Why is your best friend your best friend?
    Not a lot of people tolerate me. Scott has never left me. I don't care what sucks or how stupid it gets, he has never walked away, and you have to really admire a person who cares enough to stick around like that. I could never hope to find a better best friend.

    What is a place that inspires you?
    Oops, I left a pan on. Glad I caught that. One of my biggest fears is burning the house down. Funny how I've never thought to put that into a survey, and it's not even the right question now. Let's see, inspiring place... Isn't this stunning? Dang, I need to remember to put that on pinterest.

    What is the best decision you have ever made in your life?
    Can I be honest? I've had to go back on pain pills the last couple of weeks like I haven't done in a long time, and I'm kind of floating through this whole survey. Anybody else on pain pills through the holidays? Makes it special, right? Hey, want a random impromptu interview? People look so different on skype. Several people have asked me this year if I skype, guess I need to learn how.

    Will You Impress A Person By Fighting Someone to get them to Like You?
    Wo, now we're capitalizing everything in the questions. This survey creator's head is all over the map. Super curious if there is some kind of psychological reason for all this style switching, because I got the survey off a site that forces you to sit there plugging questions in, you can't just paste a batch over. So whoever made this survey must have sat there for HOURS, and maybe got up and did stuff. Maybe more than one person is hanging out and they're taking turns. Maybe it's a slumber party or a dorm room, or maybe the survey creator is middle aged and has divergent personalities. Whatever. Here I am totally being distracted again. True story. This woman showed up on my doorstep some years ago, a fan (it's so weird that I have fans), and she hung out for a few days because I didn't know what else to do about it. So I took her with me to the video store one day, and she got all excited, hoping I'd get into a fight with the video store clerk, and I'm all like whaaaa? She tried to egg me on and everything. I was so confused, had no idea what was going on or why she was all excited and stuff. Found out later she'd forgotten her blood pressure pills. I am ~so glad~ she didn't have a medical emergency in my house. I think all wired up 'fight' issues are like that, whether they're rage or just plain wound up entertainment buzz. When your body is wound up, your mind gets wound up. When your body has issues, your mind has issues. When I see people with rage problems or getting excited about someone wanting to throw down, I figure something's wacked out in their chemicals. I can't even imagine feeling gleeful or good about getting in someone else's face. Anyway, then this woman went home and posted online all kinds of stuff about how I punched her and stuff, really ridiculous, and she just ate up all the attention she got. I just walked away. If she was that jealous of my internet friends that she had to go to such lengths to sabotage me and take my friends away from me, I don't need friends that are stupid enough to fall for that kind of stuff. And this kind of stuff has happened several times in different fandoms I've hung out in. People love train wrecks. They love fights. They'd rather schmooze all over an instigator, so, go schmooze. If that's your thing, that's your thing. There are people out there still duking it out over David Lee or Sammy, and all I can say is, if that's all you've got, your life must really suck.

    Do You Have demons in your life?
    I think they're frustrated that I haven't caved yet. I don't suck up and beg for leniency when life sux, I just keep doing surveys.

    Have You Ever Wanted To Be The Best Person In The World?
    Being the best something is a LOT of work. Now, being the *only* something, that's another story. I think I'm the only person on the internet right now doing an online Lexx marathon with hundreds of screen grabs, some that have never before been uploaded anywhere, especially on a public site. I never dreamed people would actually care, but there you go.

    Have You Wanted to Steal the Show At School?
    I can tell when some of you get impatient waiting for the next survey, it's real cute how you keep clicking around. I get the warm fuzzies.

    Are You Happy?
    I'm still thinking about that which sense would I rather lose question. Ever since I lost my sense of smell off and on for a couple of years, I can't tell you how awesome it is to be able to smell morning smells like coffee, bacon, and black pepper on my eggs.

    Whatever holidays you are celebrating or avoiding, I do hope that you have the nicest holiday season possible for YOU. You deserve it. And if the world doesn't end on the 21st, I hope 2013 is kind. If you actually read to the end of this, bless your heart.

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I've started transferring my survey posts over to Surveypalooza so people coming in from search engines on mobile devices will be able to see the surveys.


Apologies for the missing vids, another upgrade during the server migration swept through like a scan sweeping through the Enterprise. I'll fix those later, kinda busy...

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