Colin Morgan

  • Please Don't Bring Merlin Back

    I'm growing very impatient with the Bring Merlin Back groupie thing. I joined to watch what's going on partly out of morbid curiosity, because I have a sociology degree heavily anchored with anthropology and psychology. I've never observed a live cult group before, although I've seen a few from a distance. And I have to say, this one comes as close as any to weird obsession. I have bets on that if someone instructs them to drink the koolaid, a few of them just might.

    In the real world, one fan does not hold the power to make a staff of hundreds of people do his or her bidding. The group leader ~seems~ to understand that millions more dollars would have to be dredged up and a number of lives would have to screech to a halt and go in reverse to get back to an intersect point where they could pick up where they left off. But the group leader also seems to epic fail to see that playing fan politics like this looks like a mental affliction gone wildly awry. To expect the world to behave this way because a very few people (compared to the entire fandom or world audience) 'work hard' to make it happen isn't much different from a toddler throwing a tantrum or a teenager manipulating relationships or an adult refusing to deal with reality.

    I'm not wanting to be mean. I love Merlin so much that I spent good money procuring all 5 seasons, plus a calendar and a t-shirt. There are other fans out there spending much more than I have, buying collectible toys and apparel and traveling to film sites and conventions. IF these kinds of things are what keeps a show from ending, then Merlin would never have ended. Its international success exceeded so many expectations, and most of us feel so lucky to have seen it or been a part of it. But c'mon. Investing one's emotional belief system into remolding a television show via a fan army of swooning believers isn't how the rest of us want it to go. I do NOT want Merlin back if it means a handful of fans become the boss of everyone who ever created Merlin, and I especially do NOT want those fans to be the boss of Bradley and Colin.

    I love the way Merlin ended. I bawled my eyes out, yes. I've seen a lot of Arthurs and Merlins come and go, and this creation was such beautifully crafted story about such a deep friendship, and how that friendship survived through thick and thin and eventually led to the United Kingdoms. We watched a core belief system rebirth through the seasons and in the end came down to a serving girl on a throne because of the utter kindness of her king. THAT is what Albion is all about. Albion is a dream that we are ALL equal, that we ALL matter, and that we treat each other with respect and courtesy, not drawing lines at status. Because Arthur had such good friends, he was a good king.

    I do not want obsessive fans to change that. Arthur dies in all the legends, and I think this version of his death is fantastically beautiful and symbolic. Everything in the last two episodes is very symbolic- Merlin stuck in the dark cave while the battle begins in the dark, brother and sister both dying by swords forged in the dragons' breath, an actual dragon being Arthur Pendragon's pall bearer, and much more. I wept not just for the death of Arthur, but for how absolutely beautifully done that entire last stand was executed in film, how wonderfully uplifting the entire series was, how much it has actually helped me in my personal life to believe in good things during rough times.

    I thank Bradley and Colin very much for being Arthur and Merlin. But I never want to see them do those roles again any other way. I vehemently do NOT want obsessed fans to change what is in MY head by bullying the market with faked email accounts and spamming. I'm sorry those fans need that to hang onto, and I do understand that sometimes we really do need something concrete when our lives need meaning. I don't want to make anyone feel like I am making fun of them, because I'm not. I have observed and not said anything for a long time. But as an American who has watched this 'international' group execute 'actions' to bring Merlin back before some of us have seen season 5 aired in our country (or even season 3 in some countries), I think they do the rest of us fans the discourtesy of not caring what WE want.

    I want Arthur to rest in peace for awhile now. I want to make up my own fantasies about him rising out of Avalon again to join Merlin. I want that sparkling effervescence of 'maybe'. I want to move on and become the sort of person who would also be noble and patient and true like the rest of the supporting characters in Merlin.

    I have been part of a number of fandoms, and while I appreciate that fan support can sometimes bring a show back long enough to bring a little closure, I also understand that sometimes a show really is simply over, at least in the real world. In my mind I carry on to my own amusement, as is should be. Stories give us something to occupy our thoughts while we get through mundane or difficult stuff, and stories can even help us with problem solving our own relationships and decision making. To turn a story into a production on demand taints the joy of those creating the story to begin with (after all, it WAS someone else's idea), and neglects the feeling of pride in their accomplishment.

    I would invite the fans who demand a different sort of closure to create and publish their own stories. Instead of just demanding that everyone else drop whatever they're doing to please them, grow up and put the work into it yourselves. Invest your own money, dedicate your own hours of labor, form your own teams and produce something wonderful for the rest of the world to read or watch. The whole Merlin and Arthur field is wide open, anyone can interpret it any way they want. But don't think you can dare to turn our Colin and Bradley into puppets that you pull the strings on. Not cool. They have so much potential to go on and do so much more, and I want to see them continue to excel in other work. Please accept that they are actors, not dolls, not the real characters, not enamored of themselves as the fans are. They are simply men who get paid to fill roles. And we love them, that's ok.

    I rarely cross post my stuff, but this one is going on multiple blogs I have strewn across the ethernet. Those of you wonderful lurkers who stalk all my stuff, sorry for the redundancy, but this feels important. Thank you for your time.


  • Fun Myspace Survey


    What did you do last night?
    Anyone else see Continuum on Syfy yet? What is up with the who's who of scifi actors in the cast? I mean, could they not get work anywhere else and they ALL wound up on the same show? Or is it an attempt on production's part to keep another new show from being canceled with a super solid cast line up? I think Smoking Man being in it iced the cake.
    What was the first thing you thought about in the morning?
    Xander Bennett keeps going on about Holy Motors being so awesome, and about the time I start wondering why in the world you don't even hear about this stuff in the U.S., he tweets a link to "best speech ever". I love this trailer, it totally hooked me.
    What are you wearing right now?
    It's so tempting to make something up, but I'm not sure anything can beat my noir lace crazy 'paisley' lounge pants. They're super soft, by Liz Claiborne.
    Are you in love with someone?
    My fave Big Bang Theory character is Stuart. You can go vote on the right side of that page. He's kind of got the same rabbit caught in the headlights approach to life assessment that Scott has.
    When was the last time you got drunk?
    There used to be a fansite called the Church of Buscemi, wonder whatever happened to that. Little bit of free association here, I read that question and Trees Lounge popped into my head, my fave Steve Buscemi film.
    Do you think you are a freak?
    I have figured out I'm a MerLexxian. It's all the thing now to smash your fave fandoms up into one description so you can blurb your stuff out faster on twitter and facebook. I might quite possibly be the only Merlexxian in the entire world. If you like the sound of that, you can follow me on twitter and tumblr. In the meantime, have some brain candy. If you've wondered if Colin Morgan and Xenia Seeberg have appeared on the same page ever before in the history of the internet, why yes, yes they have, on my tumblr. I screen grabbed it because stuff on tumblr moves around so fast, I think a couple of hours later these particular configurations were already gone. These thumbnails pop up pretty big when you click them.
    Partying or watching a movie?
    Probably juggling my snack and smart phone while I munch out and check my facebook feed during whatever is on tv, quite unlike the old days when I would check the Dune books out of the library because they were better than the movie. In the future I'll have brain implants and be able to incorporate several streams of media all at once without the fear of dropping crucial tech in the toilet.
    What pisses you off the most?
    About the time the prices went up on a number of goods, the price on my fave brand of toilet paper stayed the same, and I thought that was awesome, till I opened a package and the roll looked weird, and when I replaced the old tube, the new one was shorter in width by a good half inch, and the tube inside the paper was ridiculously bigger on the inside, so not only was there less toilet paper width (1/2" x length of roll), there was less paper wound up around the ridiculously bigger tube to equal the same size as the old roll with a smaller tube, and why in the world didn't they just raise the price on it? I can't imagine the cost involved in resetting all the machinery to make these changes.
    Last thing you questioned yourself on?
    I count on other people to catch my mistakes, like how I could have sworn Terra Nova had a season 2 still going in Australia after it was canceled in the U.S. I really don't mean to get people so excited, but that went on for a little while. They were cool about not throwing rocks at me. If you wanna follow my 'watchdog' list on twitter, go to
    Bars or clubs?
    Last year around this time Scott was stuck on the giant drum (Bongo Bongo) in Zelda's Ocarina of Time. After several days of hearing it go on and on ~and on~ I finally dragged him over to a youtube I found on how to defeat it in 15 seconds. Click the pic below the youttube to go to the official Zelda site. Anyway, THIS year we have a preggo with severe morning sickness throwing up around the place, so we're a little distracted. Kinda miss Link running around the ol' kingdom.
    What is the main ringtone on your phone?
    I found a soft 'windchime' that no one can tell is my phone ringing because I have the sound turned down so low. I miss a lot of calls, but maybe that's the point.
    Where do you want to be at a year from now?
    That's what's plaguing John Carter. I finally saw that movie over the holidays and LOVED. IT. I loved the original A Princess of Mars movie with Traci Lords, too, because I love weird rambling B grade movies based on ancient scifi, but John Carter was awesome. And I really love her hair. I don't normally ooze this much love.
    How many kids would you like to have?
    My first two grandkids will be arriving this summer. I'm having flashbacks of Bartholomew and the Oobleck.
    What is your favorite trait about yourself?
    I'd love to say my rapier wit, but it turns out I don't really have one. I've been faking it all this time. I know! I seduced you under a guise! A pretense! But I'm still sexy, right? hahahahaha
    Anything bothering you right now?
    Not a thing. I can say that with all sincerity at this point in time. The trick is to skip questions like this until it's convenient. And watch fun youtube videos.
    What do you do to relieve stress?
    Any time I stall out I just shoot over to a survey and answer a couple of questions and I'm good to go again. It's like super intense brain sex, especially if you're being really honest. And since I just avoided the last question, it looks like I'm not in the mood for sex right now. That's actually not true, because I'm toying with you and that is even better brain sex.
    Do you like pickles?
    No one has ever invented pickle flavored gum.
    Are you proud of yourself?
    I'm going way too fast in my head to slow down and see how I feel about pride in my accomplishments. Whoosh, there I go. And I've long ago accepted that I'm a dork and make ridiculous blunders and say stupid things and that stopping to think about it is like getting sucked into the La Brea Tar Pits. A fave saying of mine that a passed dearly loved one used to say (which she got from Monty Python) is "How sweet to be an idiot and dip my brain in joy." Live your life, spring forth in joy, and don't worry about what the world thinks. I'm not very good at being a socially interactive human, but I love you for being human, we're all stuck in this together. *kiss*
    Do you wish upon stars?
    Who started that? Way back in the ancient days when people had ~nothing~ to do but look up at the sky at night and talk, I bet this got started because someone got really tired of hearing someone else whining and complaining and said, "Dude, if you wish on that star right there, your wish might come true" yada yada, the gods are up there with the stars yada yada, shut up and let me get some sleep now...
    What is your one possession you never want to lose?
    This is my mobile desktop that I have been doing all my Lexx work in for my nerd blog.
    And this is my mobile unit for this survey blog. As you can see, it can pack up and go out the door with me remarkably easy in a pinch.
    I have a whole stack of spirals with projects going in them. One day you might hold a book I've written in your hands and go Wo, I *know* her...
    Who was the last friend to walk out of your life?
    Does anybody remember Menudo? For this and the next 4 questions, see if you can metaphorically replace 'friend' with Menudo. No special reason, well, there is one, but the contortions I would have to go through explaining this friendship would explode your brain. Easier to just think about Menudo, trust me.
    Do you miss them?
    The fact that the sound is glitchy in one of the headphones in this youtube only adds to the one-sided complexities of a wildly imbalanced and flamboyant interpersonal relationship. The song is totally relevant.
    Would you want them back in your life?
    How can you NOT miss something that fake and colorful and ~fun~? But there's only one way to survive a fandom, and that's to be loyal to the fandom. It's not about our individual proprietary wants and who is going to beat who at their game. You're either a leader or a suck up, I can't be both.
    What is your relationship status?
    The sweet thing about having the smallest feet in the family is that no one ever borrows my shoes. K, where were we? Oh, yeah, I'm avoiding gossip like the plague. Here, have a youtube that fairly accurately describes my relationships with people. This is basically what happens when people try to use me for their own evil schemes without cluing me in first.
    Are you happy with that?
    I have recovered. I'm staying busy. But that was the worst friendship breakup ever, it hurt like suck far worse than anything haters ever did, it took a couple of years to get past, and I'm never going through that again. Just glad to see I'm not the only one who reacts to fandom stuff the way I did. tumblr, Actress Georgia King closes Twitter account after being targeted But coming back now with perspective and a really good personal support system, here's how I play going forward- spaz: haters gonna hate, in reaction to a couple of famous people I follow, nothing to do with the Merlin fandom at all in case you think that's what I'm saying because of that first link, which was only an example. -And we're done here. Moving on.
    Do your parents have myspace accounts?
    My dad thinks everyone in the world automatically has a facebook page. He barely owns enough tech to watch the local news. I've given up trying to explain the internet to him.
    Are the majority of your friends male or female?
    Scott is in the bathroom with the door closed. It's dark. I tap lightly and he flings the door open, full beam from his head lamp right in my eyes blinding me, and yells "WHAT! I'm about to do some delicate work!" Pieces from a light switch lie all over the counter around the sink. He says "I'm testing to see if I'll get shocked." I say "Um, shouldn't you just turn the electric to that fuse off?" He says "It might make the washing machine stop." I say "Priorities, I think I'd rather have the washer stop than you DIE."
    Exchanges like this are common. Surprises like these stopped surprising me a long time ago. I expect one day I'll find him croaked off somewhere from something stupid. People who make the Darwin Awards don't have SO's stopping them. Or maybe they do and they're like Scott, doing stuff without telling anyone first. My fave story is the guy who vacuumed a wasp nest.
    On a scale of 1-10 how much do you like sex?
    How about 75? Sex is awesome, as long as you leave me alone with my own devices. That was just begging for a bad pun. I lately have a mild brain sex fixation with Xander Bennett and I'm trying to hold myself down because I think I obviously need peeling off.
    Would you go back and change any part of your life?
    This youtube convinces me I'm on the right track every single time I see it.
    Do you believe love lasts forever?
    Love does, we don't. We are puny and weak and epic fail left and right. Even with love. I'm glad we have the chance to learn it, although practicing on each other without an instruction book gets a little rough. For this, I have more compassion and forgiveness for other people's lame attempts.
    If you saw someone broken down on the side of the road, would you stop to help?
    I have done that. I got $3000 for my efforts and a nice note calling me an angle. When someone's mom has a brain attack (seriously, aneurysm) and drives 400 miles to another state and sits in the cold rain by the side of the road out of gas too confused to do anything, I might just be the person that notices and stops to check on her and takes her home and puts clean clothes on her and feeds her in front of a space heater while I have a highway patrol person go through her purse and call her relatives because there is no way I'm going to go through someone else's purse like that without a witness after I've taken them home, because I'm terrified someone will try to charge me with kidnapping and theft. This world needs more angles noticing what's going on around them and less texting while we're driving, capiche? And I know I spelled that wrong. That's how it's spelled in the note. Oddly, that's how it's spelled just about every single time someone writes to me in a note that I'm an angle. I think that means I'm one of the extra special ones.
    What do you think of when you hear the word Cheese?
    *running off to get some cheese*
    What color are your bedsheets?
    Whats your favorite word?
    Let me go you one better and show you the funnest twitter interaction I've had all year.

    What does your favorite shirt say about you?
    It says I'm a super cool cult fan and you're not, neener neener. It says I know where to find really cool stuff on the internet and you don't, neener neener. It says you don't know what the heck I'm wearing and you think it's just another strange fixation on a weirdo's torso, but I refuse to change it to something from Old Navy, so suck it. Click the pic to go buy it yourself. Ok, for the uninitiated, that is Wist from season 1 of Lexx, 3rd movie.
    Do you laugh enough?
    I have noticed that every time I super load up two different browsers to the point of having to clear both caches just to be able to save my work and shut down that the next time I boot up my laptop thinks it has to go into a crash dump, and I figured out how to nip that one and avoid it. When you see a crash dump window, QUICK, turn your computer OFF asap, just push that button and KILL it. Wait a minute, then boot back up, you get a question asking if you wanna do something drastic like 'repair', just move the highlight up to 'start windows normally' and click, and everything is back to normal. I've done this 3 times over the last 9 months, nothing bad has ever happened. I laugh with glee. ~Disclaimer- I am not responsible for your computer crashing if you try this at home. I'm just a really lazy person when it comes to dealing with 'reality', and maybe this is all in my head.
    Do you believe that dreams come true?
    MINE do. Don't know about other people's. I create and fulfill my own dreams and destiny. No one else can hand that to me, despite everything they say and believe and promise. Worry about your own life, not my dreams. I think it's time for an awesome piece of King Arthur fan art that's been going around facebook, tumblr, and twitter, no idea who did it.
    Whats one thing you would change about yourself?
    Every time I run across this question I wonder how people can really sit there in a funk dwelling on what is wrong with their beautiful selves instead of plunging headlong into a super cool head world that makes being here seem dull and uninteresting. Can you imagine our pets (I have chickens) sitting around moping about what they hate about themselves? Like, the very thing you love about your pet, maybe that's what it hates about itself, and there is nothing you can do to cheer it up and convince it you really do love it for THAT. I love that we all have our own quirks and looks and points of view. This world would be such a drag if everyone really could change themselves to be what they *think* they want. Everyone would be the same.
    Have you ever read the book "the notebook"?
    I mean, I'm really busy. But I've heard about it. Guys, I just can't sit through that stuff. If you're going to be telling a nursing home story, it had better be Bubba Ho-Tep. Huge Bruce Campbell fan, and I follow him at
    When was the last time you got a phone call?
    Exactly 10 hours and 39 minutes ago. I didn't pick up. I'm real bad to have my ringer muted.
    Where do you work?
    All over my house! And my deck, in my car, anywhere a mobile device goes. I do NOT work in traffic. I've missed being in a few hairy accidents with people who do. STOP THAT! If I think I *have* to text or tweet or write something in my notebook, I whip it into parking lots.
    Who is your favorite football team?
    Not saying these guys are my faves, but I can't help mentioning that the first time I saw the Seattle Seahawks play this year I immediately thought of Dredd for some reason. The futuristic 'we mean business' look is really cool.

    Have you ever bobbed for apples?
    Not sure if it's a plus to say that I'm really good at it...
    Have you ever thought you could do a better job at being president?
    HELL no. Egads. I have a hard enough time walking past Sir Gwaine on my Merlin calendar, I feel like he's judging me or something. Maybe I shouldn't have hung it right by the bathroom. Maybe behind a closet door where I wouldn't be walking by it all the time.
    If you could only drink one thing for the rest of your life, what would it be?
    Trick question, guys, always pick water because you can put a teabag or coffee grounds or drink mix in it.
    Whats one food you could eat everyday for the rest of your life?
    Let me make you drool. I cook like this all the time.
    What was your custume for halloween last year?
    Wo, we're getting close to the end. This survey has only taken me only two days this time, and that's with two trips into town that lasted several hours. I think it's safe to say I'm past the trippy holiday depression. I didn't wear a costume, I felt pretty ill that night. I did manage to hand out candy, though, thanx for asking.
    How many cousins do you have?
    I lost count a long time ago. When we were little kids we got piled all over beds and the floors during holiday sleepovers. I think one year there were 15 kids in one room. I was liberally stepped on in the middle of the night, one kid rolled off a bed right on me (get the wind knocked out in your sleep, happy holidays), oh, and throw a cat or two into the mix. I had a cat that liked to sleep on my head, I think her nerves scooted her back out the door that night. And that's only a handful of the cousins. I have cousins across the continent. I'm not very good at keeping in touch. Ok, I suck at it. But there you go.
    Your in line at Taco Bell, whats your order?
    I'm a crunchy taco & 7 layer burrito person. Anyone remember the year Taco Bell was giving away a free taco because someone hit a home run or something? I drove to every Taco Bell I could find and ate really well for free that day. It was awesome. Here, I'll leave you drooling. Click the pic to go to their dotcom.

  • knock yourself out survey from tumblr

    Knock yourself out:
    • 1: What are you wearing?
    My real sheepskin woolly slippers hand sewn by a guy up the highway. Misty Mountain Sheepskin Co.
    • 2: Ever been in love?
    One of the being-a-nerd requirements is a certain innate puniness. I get warm fuzzies when I see I'm not alone in my afflictions, and I guess a lot of other nerds do, too, because at 14 hours Wil Wheaton had over 500 comments on his post on facebook about being puny. We're here for you, Wil Wheaton. Any puny nerd who can get continual consistent response over simply eating burritos, quaffing homemade brewskies, and racing to get nearly nude middle age beach photos up before the paparazzi can has won the game of thrones. Only 2 people in my life have a clue who you are or what the whole apology thing about pinterest was, but -oh yes- you have won.
    • 3: Ever had a terrible breakup?
    Don't I wish. Every year, ladybugs swarm by the thousands out of the woods and find their way into my house. You never see a horror thriller about a ladybug infestation because it's just so stupid. Spiders and flies actually use a little cunning, calculating their moves, sneaking around, quickly retreating. Ladybugs just suddenly fly up your nose without warning, or dive straight down into your glass of milk, or crawl maddeningly through your clothes and hair, and your hands and fingers slip right over them while their little sticky feet cling like velcro. You don't even feel the tiny little crunches, you just discover the carnage later on the bottom of your sock. Ladybugs have no sense of self preservation, no red flags going off that a move might possibly be a drastically wrong one to make, no decision making skills based on past experience, no avoidance behaviors. They simply just impulsively do stuff for no rhyme or reason without warning. One lit on the edge of my glasses and started walking along the inside, I automatically put my finger up to wipe it off, once disrupted it flitted right over to my eyelid and just started walking around, I had to take my glasses OFF trying to grab hold of its tiny little round body without smashing it to bits in my EYE... I've had to dig them out of my ears, too, which is a special little Disney experience all its own. You almost can't feel them on you at all, they're hard to see, so when you go to the bathroom you have to make sure one hasn't fallen into your underwear before you pull them up, because that's a little treat you really don't want in your life. I find them in the laundry, the fridge, cake batter, my keyboard, my dishwater, randomly scattered on the bed. Eventually they'll all gather in upper corners and light fixtures and dry out to death, collecting dust and crumbling away. Scott likes to be kind to them and scoop them up and carry them outside. Several more follow or ride back in, and he never even sees them. It's ridiculous.
    • 4: How tall are you?
    This gets really dumb when a pulmonologist makes you take off your shoes and practically draws a chalk outline on a wall and then a nurse in another office pronounces him wrong by half an inch because she's holding a stack of stuff in one hand and a pen in the other while she flies through a yearly wellness exam, and suddenly you find that the certifiable 5'4" you've been most of your life gets crossed out and changed to 5'3 1/2" by a dingleberry. Some people have way too much power.
    • 5: How much do you weigh?
    This differs by as much as ten pounds from my scale to a doctor's office to the freight scale at Scott's work on the same day within 2 hours. I'm not sure there really is such a thing as accuracy. I think one of the post offices around here is stiffing me on packages.
    • 6: Any tattoos do you want?
    I'm afraid to even use the peel and stick, too many allergic reactions. And my luck I'd be the one to get someone who couldn't spell properly or see straight. And cosmic irony would dictate that if I were to get one, something about it would get screwed up enough no one would know what it was and I'd have to explain it. And seriously, I'm not sure I could part with that kind of money just to have someone poke my skin up with little needles.
    • 7: Any piercings that you want?
    I'm constantly piercing myself in the kitchen, I can't imagine paying someone to do that on purpose. By the way, I'm not a self cutter because I'm terrified of infection. Cutting up raw meat and slipping some of it neatly into parts of your hand that should never know the rotting DNA of another being and then developing a weird dark patch or streak is NOT cool, especially when you're allergic to most of the antibiotics out there.
    • 8: OTP?
    My reticence comes from being naturally wary of too-easy technology that, while being our friend, also seeks to monitor and steer us.
    • 9: Favorite Show?
    Lately it's Merlin, and I'll tell you why. No blood. After years of butchering and illness and dealing with hard emotional stuff (like an 'escorted' abortion- my psychologist says it was forced) and then going through severe hormone deprivation last spring and wigging out, I am GRATEFUL I can watch a cool tv show that doesn't make a big deal about being realistic with blood and gore. THANK YOU, Merlin creators, for creating a story I can actually get into without having to wade through all my old traumas. If you've been fortunate enough to have never been sprayed liberally with blood from another living being, or be blood soaked up to your shoulders cleaning up or dealing with someone's birth or death or whatever, bless your innocence, and I thank you for not dissing people who just can't take it anymore.
    • 10: Favorite bands?
    I've been stuck on Eiffel 65 again lately.
    • 11: Something you miss?
    I was wondering earlier today if I should maybe crochet another afghan. It's been a really long time since I've done that, and maybe I'd like to make something purply.
    • 12: Favorite song?
    It's also been a long time since I listened to some sultry smoky saxophone music. Kind of in a mood.
    • 13: How old are you?
    I am continually surprised at how much better than my mom I look at this age.
    • 14: Zodiac sign?
    Scorpio, Ox, and anything else that signifies unrepentant stubbornness.
    • 15: Hair Color?
    Still the same bland natural mousy brown, but it's getting longer. Sort of.
    • 16: Favorite Quote?
    Bowler: You oughta run, Tony P.
    Tony P: You can't hurt me, Baby Bowler. 'Cause I'm protected by
    the god of hair care. (demonstrates his flaming hairspray) And it's
    time to send you back to your daddy.
    Bowler: (pulling Carmine out of his bag) You killed my father.
    Tony P: That's right. 'Cause I'm a killer. (Carmine flies out of the
    room on his own, and around behind the other side of the stairs)
    And you're not. Let's face it, kid...You don't have the guts to kill
    Bowler: You're right. I don't have the guts to kill you. Because I'm
    better than you. Yeah, that's right. A lot better. You know, I may
    even find the courage to forgive you someday.
    (Carmine flies around, slamming into Tony P and driving him
    partway through a wall.)
    Bowler: Oh! Carmine, on the other hand, feels differently than I do
    about forgiveness.
    (Carmine rolls into his bag, and Bowler picks it up.)
    Bowler: (into bag) Okay, now I'm going back to graduate school. That
    was the agreement.

    • 17: Favorite singer?
    I always have to come back to Weird Al on this one. Between the food songs and scifi parodies and nuking Christmas and doing everyone from Joan Jett to Lady Gaga, I really don't think anyone else can hold a candle. Here, enjoy one of my fave fun singalongs.
    • 18: Favorite color?
    You can look up your fave color at Color: Meaning, Symbolism and Psychology
    • 19: Loud music or soft?
    I like silence throughout most of my day the last couple of years. I feel like I'm processing or something, after many years of continual noise and work and music and television and radio and stuff.
    • 20: Where do you go when you're sad?
    I have been so deep in my head since I was teeny tiny that I'm not sure I can cope any other way. I have been thrilled to find other people producing things that I thought only existed in my head, so somehow some of us wind up in some of the same places, apparently. I can't help wondering why a significant number of us seem to create visions of other places (planets), other times, other technologies (cities), other biologies and ecologies. It's like we were born to do this, either to remember something we've forgotten during this life or feel compelled to create something that somehow can't really exist, which seems illogical unless it really is possible. I feel like living here in this time and place is an exercise of patience and learning, a sort of pit stop for recharging, or a slam through understanding hard things very quickly, depending on what's happening in our lives. Sadness just doesn't seem like a natural survival tool, so I think there are other reasons it exists for us.
    • 21: How long does it take you to shower?
    All the years I've been avoiding shower questions... I may as well just be honest, can you handle that? Too late, here it comes. I have anxiety attacks in the shower. Sometimes they get so bad it's hard to breathe. I shower as quickly as humanly possible without compromising hygiene and get outa there. I've been having anxiety attacks around water since I was a little bitty kid, prolly because of the Asperger's. I was able to swim for a few years and be ok, and I enjoyed hot baths for a few years, but that's all gone now. There is no joy in getting wet, there's just way too much sensation over too much area all at once, and I can smell when the water's been treated and the difference between city waters and well waters (especially between rainy and drought seasons) when it gets steamy. It doesn't help that I have allergic reactions to soaps and shampoos. On the other hand, I can't stand feeling grimy or gross, so washing my hair and hands and whatever might get a little compulsive sometimes.
    • 22: How long does it take you to get ready in the morning?
    I can be out the door from a dead sleep in 5 minutes flat if I have to, but I'd rather snail around with coffee and my computer and whatever for 3 hours first.
    • 23: Ever been in a physical fight?
    My favorite kind of fight is with a rooster. Those nidiots love it when you egg them on, and they stalk you across the yard and then launch, and all you have to do is swivel a hip and knock them off balance in mid air, and dang if they don't get up and dust off and come back for more, because that was ~fun~.
    • 24: Turn on?
    I have always been stopped dead in my tracks by these kinds of colors. The compulsion to buy whatever is these colors is so strong that I wrestle with myself for several minutes before I can walk away. Could be a shirt, could be something I see in a catalog, could be toys or crayons or stationary. If I were a bower bird, this would be considered an instinct. I wish chickens had feathers in these colors.

    • 25: Turn off?
    Any kind of screaming and yelling, angry shouting, loud boisterousness, mocking, basically the unpleasant end of the scale in human voices.
    • 26: The reason I joined Tumblr?
    Colin Morgan fans. They are delightfully entertaining. I think some of them have gone so far overboard that Colin himself has become a caricature, but it's still cute how joyfully creative they can be. I don't think most of them realize how utterly rabid they look, a weird sort of innocence in consuming Colin as a product, kind of like someone in a fantasy story not realizing they're a werewolf or something. If I were an actor I'd be terrified of fans, but my social anxiety is off the wall anyway.
    • 27: Fears?
    I seriously sometimes wake up very upset that I just remembered I've ditched too many classes to pass a college class, and I'm going to have to retake it next semester, and it takes about ten minutes to remember I haven't been in college for some years, and that I've never actually skipped classes to that extent in real life, and I never really feared college like that. I have no idea where that comes from, but every time it happens I feel very upset. (Metaphor for life kind of thing...? May have to bring this one up with my psychologist.)
    • 28: Last thing that made you cry?
    It's funny how you can get through 20 years of living a certain way and then it hits you one day that you never really had what you wished for, and when you sift it all down to the root of why, you can see every bit of it came from parents who simply didn't have a clue how to just enjoy having and loving children and everything you've done as an adult revolves around trying to please other people while you set yourself aside as less important. That's such an empty hole to notice, and it immediately makes me think of all the ways I must have failed my own children, although they've insisted I'm pretty cool.
    • 29: Last time you cried?
    Some day someone's going to ask me the last time I huzzahed. Those fleeting joyous moments should get a little more credit in our days.
    • 30: Meaning behind your url
    I suspect this means tumblr url. I swear, I had no idea there was another Pinky Guerrero out there, and a semi-famous one at that, and ironically I got her twitter name before she did and she has to use the underscore with her name, and it's just too funny when she forgets to do that and tells everyone to reply to *my* twitter name. I bet she hates me. But she got pinterest before I did, so it all balances out. She's got the dotcom, I've got the xanga blog AND the myspace, oh yeah, AND the fanpop. She's the self purported super woman who does it all, I'm the loser has-been geeky nerd who lurks around under several different names being weird, making Lexx posts and raising chickens and obsessing over surveys, and many other things that I don't feel the need to resume (I verbed the noun resume, hope that didn't confuse you) out to the world on a website. I wish other-Pinky much success and a happy life. I'll pretend that's another me in a parallel world so my own existence will be validated with the feeling of balance in the nature of the cosmic irony that is my life.
    • 31: Last book you read?
    I love the library, it saves me untold tens of thousands of dollars that I'd otherwise compulsively spend in book stores. My reading list this year is about 30 books long so far. The last one I worked on was in the Gears of War series, and I've recently started Book of the Navajo. I've never really kept track of what I read, but when I do start listing, people's eyes tend to glaze over. My latest amazon book purchase was a 10 pound monstrosity called The History of Food. I could be exaggerating about the ten pounds.
    • 32: Last song you listened to?
    The whole Lexx tv show soundtrack. Just seemed like the right thing to plug into the car this week.
    • 33: Last show you watched?
    Always Sunny in Philadelphia. Super fave, big fan, hope it lasts forever. I am especially enamored of Liam McPoyle for some reason. He is one creepy dude.
    • 34: Last person you talked to?
    A complete stranger from a faraway place. I should have hung up *before* it got ugly. I don't like it when it gets ugly. People being paid to get ugly is a cancer on our planet.
    • 35: The relationship between you and the person you last texted?
    Daughter once removed...? She came out of my sister, but it feels like she's sorta mine. My DNA recognizes her and I can't help it, all the rest is built in.
    • 36: Favorite food?
    Every favorite food I've listed in surveys has wound up on my food allergies list in the last couple of years, so now I feel like I'm jinxing myself to even talk about having a favorite food.
    • 37: Place you want to visit?
    I think it would be cool to go see the Mockingbird Lane set, new series coming on NBC. I love that house.
    • 38: Last place you were?
    Isn't it magical how Walmart can transform overnight into new holidays? And isn't it magical how when I'm in there I feel more holiday luv and cheer than anywhere else? I think it's all the bright colors. Warm fuzzies have a lot to do with color, I think. I bet there is a whole marketing science around that. Ok, I know there is because I worked retail for a few years. ~*magical*~
    • 39: Do you have a crush?
    I always have a crush. Person, place, or thing, if I don't have some kind of obsession going, something is very wrong with me. Fortunately for the world at large, my obsessions are like lightning storms coming and going, because if I were to focus on one obsession for ten years straight like some people I know can, I would be either very rich or very mental (possibly both), and either way I'd be the most evil genius about it you ever met. At least this way I'm mostly harmless.
    • 40: Last time you kissed someone?
    Scott has seemed extra huggy and cuddly lately, and it's the middle of bow season and the Vikings lost recently. I'm perplexed. Maybe it's because I made his favorite Halloween cookies or something. Halloween brings out that special feeling, I know.
    • 41: Last time you were insulted and what was it?
    I don't keep track. Being insulted actually means you're worth enough to get someone's attention, and if they're making the time to come at you, then they're pretty much admitting they're jealous and can't get over something and unable go on with their lives. Next time you insult someone else, stand back and watch all the moments tick through your emotions and thoughts and see if I'm not right. If you are very honest with yourself, you will notice that whatever stopped you and caught your attention really has its root inside yourself somewhere somehow.
    • 42: What color underwear are you wearing?
    Dang, you caught me on a white day. How boring I am. I've always been jealous that guys get the underoos kind of thing, and everything cool that girls get is girlied up guy underwear. Since I worked almost 5 years in an intimates department in a big retail chain, I tend to notice this kind of stuff. I am especially jealous that John Barrowman gets to disrobe all the time because his underwear is so cool. Underwear for women that I would totally buy if it were available would include My Little Pony and anything with any kind of starship on it.

    • 43: What color shirt are you wearing?
    I've got to get me some new t-shirts, it's getting really old how many times I've been wearing my ancient red Homestar Runner tee when this question comes up.
    • 44: What color bottoms are you wearing?
    Well, you asked.
    • 45: Wearing any bracelets?
    Only when I leave the house. Someday I'll take a pic of my allergy bracelets.
    • 46: Last sport you played?
    I'm in the middle of pastry chef-ing for a Halloween party, kind of a sport to beat the clock when you get down to crunch time. Yeah, the truth comes out, I run back and forth to my laptop doing a question here or there on surveys as a way to destress. Bet you guys thought I had my lazy butt parked just sitting here, didn't you? I think I've mentioned before that surveys can take me days to fill out, something I didn't make clear in the olden days when I got fussed at for 'wasting time'.
    • 47: Last song you sang?
    I tried to do the Horoscope song with Weird Al.
    • 48: Last prank call you remember doing?
    I really need to remember this angle the next time a snotty stranger gets through on the phone.
    • 49: Last time you hung out with anyone?
    Me and Scott hang out all the time.
    • 50: Favorite movie?
    I tried answering this once. It turned into a list monstrosity that I couldn't stop adding to. I finally just put it into my profile. Every time I feel like deleting it I remember how caught up in it I got, so I leave it there to deter me from getting caught in that again. We may never know what my favoritist movie of all time really is.

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I've started transferring my survey posts over to Surveypalooza so people coming in from search engines on mobile devices will be able to see the surveys.


Apologies for the missing vids, another upgrade during the server migration swept through like a scan sweeping through the Enterprise. I'll fix those later, kinda busy...

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