Weird Al

  • the smooshed together survey

    I'm smooshing together and totally redoing a couple of ancient surveys I found from 2007 on a retired private blog, some of these questions are worth revisiting.  (:edit: 5-10-14 I just destroyed all the video codes fixing a single typo in this survey #sadpanda I forgot that the Xanga migration rewrote the video codes and the only way they stayed intact was NOT TOUCHING THEM, so I'll come back later and replace them. I'm sorry, I saw this post getting hit a bit lately, and one typo sucked me in... Give me a few days, I'm on vacation right now. Sorry.)
    1. You're in the hospital, who on your top 8 comes to visit you?
    Please don't jinx me and say I'm in the hospital... I used to have the Priceline Negotiator in my top 8 on one of my old myspaces, might be a little weird if he came to see me. Even scarier, his daughter... (wow, remember when people fought over being in the top 8?)
    That's one of those new embed code iframe tubes so you can see it on a smart phone but it won't play third party through just any ol' blog... I pray for smoother interface in the very near future, perhaps to be announced at the next E3?
    2. If alcohol were banned, what would your reaction be?
    There goes my fave Listerene, 'real' vanilla, and Port Wine cheese balls. I think I'd be pretty ticked. I know, what the crap! I lead with a COMMERCIAL??? I promise you guys, I'm not being paid to do that, I just really have this thing for the Priceline Negotiator. Like Bruce Campbell says-
    3. You cd collection is reposessed. you can keep one?
    My luck I'd be stuck with something like TV Theme Songs from the 70's. Repo'd? Who thinks of questions like this? Do people still melt their cd collections in hot cars? 
    4. Do you believe world peace is possible?
    I believe we already have world peace. Think about it. 90% of about 8 billion people are pretty peaceful. It's the other 10% that just don't 'get' it. THEY keep trying to disrupt world peace. I blame the Goa'uld.
    5. I'm a genie. Name your wish.
    I am so ready for this weird ladybug infestation to be over. They are on *everything*. Yeah, you think they're cute, you've never had a thousand ladybugs inside your house. This little guy was nearly in my mouth before I noticed him.
    6. Name one thing about the opposite sex that turns you off?
    I've never understood the whole Elvis Presley thing, but I really really REALLY want a Flying Elvi t-shirt.
    7. Name one thing about the opposite sex that automatically turns you on?
    At the risk of turning this one question into an entire survey of its own, let's just please note that Andrew Lee Potts is AWESOME, and if you wanna see more of what he's doing *right now*, you need to click on the twitter linx I'm about to provide.
    He was nerdy cool in Primeval.
    I like his Hatter waaaaaayyyyyy better than Johnny Depp's. Gah, there are so many good Hatter vids, it was really hard to choose just one. Fans do incredible stuff on youtube.
    And Andrew Lee Potts is making a film that you can all practically live follow the progress of on Stolen Light Film on Facebook and Stolen Light Film on Twitter and Stolen Light Film on Tumblr. There is no excuse to miss this, here's your teaser. Stolen Light - Teaser 1 on VimeoSo if you want more live updates on what Andrew Lee Potts is doing, be a good fan and follow these other twitters, too.
    8. Speaking of same sex, what did you think about Brokeback Mountain?
    Ok, that's so outdated that I have to change it. What do y'all think of Merthur? Or Brolin, as some are wont. (For the less well read, wont is a real word.) If you don't like gay stuff, skip this question and go on to number 9, thanx. I thought this vid was just darn cute, and the fan who put it together did some really brilliant editing.
    9. What are you obsessive about?
    Proper comma placement. Oh, what the heck, that's all going out the door with twitter, right? Life is too short to twitter stress, just hash it up and throw it out there in 140 characters or less.
    10. Leather face is in the kitchen. (the guy from texas chainsaw massacre)
    He can kill that big spider and do my dishes while I continue watching the Web Soup marathon on G4. I am quietly dying inside over whether all that E3 and Comic-Con coverage will be parseled out to other media vendors now or what, but we're talking HOURS AND HOURS of possible lost coverage. *tears* *catching my breath* Back to Web Soup with Chris Hardwick to assuage my angsty feels. (In case you got lost in all that, G4 is rebranding soon.)
    I did not know what the heck was up with Chris talking about his 'ex-wife Barbara' on the show until I got a twitter account and she followed me. 'Barbara', for the rest of you who don't get it yet, is Ann Sandretto, and if you wanna know more you can look her up yourself.
    11. Do people underestimate you?
    Nearly every single super awesome scifi series ever made about earth destruction, takeover, and sheer human survival has been canceled. What are the odds that Defiance will also be canceled? And people not having a clue will go to look it up and run right into a film about Jewish brothers escaping from the Nazis instead of a multi-platform shooter MMO that interconnects with a global television program on Syfy... Personally, the mangled Arch in the graphics is freaking me out. I've been up at the top of the St. Louis Arch, it's *terrifying*.
     
    12. When you're in a bad mood, what will always put you in a better mood?
    Offer me food. Never fails. And I like watching the weather screen on my phone at night when I can't sleep. I can pick a city and watch it rain or snow or glide over the clouds in the moonlight.
    13. Honestly, do you talk about myspace in real life?
    The old 2007 answer- "It's scary when someone walks up to me and tells me what they negatively commented on someone else's myspace just before that person shows up to a party at my house. Yeah, myspace can be pretty volatile and must be negotiated delicately." Ok, that really happened, and it got ten times worse when facebook came along (imagine me living next door to in-laws, yeah...). I'm not sure that it's psychologically healthy for people to get so wrapped up in using technology for their interpersonal interactions, so maybe it's best if I just nip this question in the bud and tell all the wandering souls reading this that I love you, I know it sux and none of it is fair, and I think you're awesome. I suck at facebook because I hardly ever go over there, but I find that much less stressful than feeling compulsed to check it all the time. I truly dig not getting comments, even when a post gets over a thousand hits. I'm like the magazine you find lying around at the doctor's office, you pick it up and read it, sometimes you tear a recipe or coupon out, and then you walk away. The best magazines are the ones that look the most shredded, am I right? And then you get all frustrated that the end of an article is missing, or someone tore out the joke page. Speaking of that, I try to go back and check youtubes every little bit and replace them if they don't work any more. I'm cool that way.
    14. Have you met someone online in person?
    Every time I go to the fitness center, locker #17 is empty, so that's the one I always get. I'm about ready to claim it as my own and tape up pictures of my boyfriend. That's right, I *finally* caught Scott in his underwear.  Despite knowing my intentions, all he could moan about was how fat his back looks, but dang, he's pretty hot for a guy his age. Now you can see what the big deal is when he walks around distracting me. All the cougars passing by in the locker room will gasp in shock but secretly be jealous.
           
    15. What do you hope to have accomplished by the end of the school year?
    I keep getting app promos for Candy Crush Saga and I fear that if I fall for that, I'll abandon everything else I'm doing and disappear. I got pretty caught up in Cascade one year until I was literally shaking from the super intensity I was able to focus into. Click the pic to go to the app for droid.

    16. Do you believe minimum wage should be raised?
    I'm actually thinking about the word 'carafe' at the moment. It doesn't sound as graceful out loud as it looks in print, but I think it's a better word than 'coffee pot'. I wonder if everyone I know will think I'm a dork if I start referring to our coffee pot as a carafe. I think more than one person will automatically have to say something about a giraffe after I do. Funny what a big deal something this little is.
    17. Do you have any really crazy relatives?
    Literally or figuratively? There are both, but I'm curious what we're looking for here, some kind of tongue in cheek or some admission of family genetics gone bizarrely awry. I'm the one with the chickens, and if it weren't for this nasty cold weather, allergies, and a rabid fear of spiders, I'd probably be hanging out in the chicken house with my girls (my peeps, haha) right now because Scott wired it for electric. Cool, huh? #crazychickenlady
    18. Pretend you're 15 deep in beers. Describe what you would be doing?
    If they were in those tiny little "baby" mugs like you used to be able to get from A&W, I'd be passing around tiny little root beers to all my friends and loved ones. I really actually own one of those. They are so cute.
    19. Does everyone in your life know the real you?
    They are terrified to know the real me. The real me never seems to shut up. That's probably why I'm doing so well on twitter... Being on twitter is kinda like being part of the Borg, all the tweeting going on all the time, being part of a Collective, all our minds tied into timelines and 'feed', we're never alone. You can follow me on twitter at PinkyGuerrero on Twitter.
    20. Last thing you said about a guy/ girl?
    If I were ever being tortured for important information like my passwords, I would never be able to remember them. I'm one of those people who meticulously creates wild and crazy passwords that I constantly have to look up. But what I ~could~ do is easily rattle out my lengthy library card account number. I've typed it in so many times over the years that it could almost be my own name. I'm only saying this because I can't remember what the last thing was I said about anybody. That kind of stuff tends to fall right out of my head.
    21. What is the most ridiculous fear you have?
    That I might have a spider riding on my head at any given point in time. Don't laugh, this has really happened. After a softball game one night, a teenage turantula jumped off my head into my bathwater with me. I never sat on or leaned against the bleachers the rest of the season. It's terrifying to think you can't really feel something that big on your head the whole trip home in a car. I wear ballcaps now, yeah, like duh, THAT'S what they're for...
    22. Do you know anyone in prison?
    'Twitter jail' cracks me up. You hit an hourly or daily limit and suddenly you can't tweet any more, but experienced users just switch to alt accounts and keep going.
    The only thing I can think to compare twitter to that makes sense for people who don't have it is like being able to hear the baseball game on the radio when you're stuck in traffic, or like being able to have multiple conversations with several people all at once while you also read the paper and watch tv, there is no other media that so immediately connects you to everything that is happening right *now* that you are interested in. Like the Superbowl blackout. That. was. awesome.
    Sorry, I get a little carried away with twitter talk. Here, have a scary video to finish melting your mind. Close your eyes and plug your ears if you don't want to suffer brain damage. 
    23. When is the last time you ate Peanut butter and jelly?
    I'm allergic. Hey, have you guys seen The Americans? Scott got so freaked out he started thinking maybe all our neighbors are Russians spying on us. I reminded him the tv show is set in the 1980's. Probably doesn't help that we marathoned through all 8 seasons of 24 again a couple of years ago. Wonder if there are still any good Jack Bauer videos hanging around youtube... Oh, here we go, hadn't seen this one yet. 
    24. When did you last have a home cooked meal?
    I'm having trouble wanting to eat this week, hoping it's just a bug. Hurt weird all over, kinda rubbery, nothing sounds good. Scott had to go pick up his own Superbowl munchies this year. Sorry, no food pix this round.
    25. Have you ever gotten naked at a party?
    Here's the latest ultrasound my oldest got just today! I've never been a gramma before, but I have chickens and I think that will make me the cool one to come visit. Scott is already planning out a trip to take both the girls and their kids to the big Star Wars thing that Disney will have, but it might be a few years. Gotta finish manufacturing the new humans and get them somewhat functional first.
    26. Name who you miss.
    I am always blown away at how far people will go. I mean, LARPing South Park???
    27. Are you named after a grandparent?
    I have answered this so many times in surveys, will you people please stop naming your kids after grandparents? It's apparently bugging quite a few survey creators.
    28. Who loves you?
    My chickens think I'm the bomb. I wish I was twitter linked to their little minds and could catch what they were thinking in a timeline feed.
    29. Do you throw up gang signs?
    Better watch yourself, never know when you're going to get sucked into a time vortex and run into this guy.

    30. Have you ever broken a rib?
    If I did, no one has ever known. We didn't go to doctors much growing up, and my parents didn't tolerate puny whiners. I could be mangled by a crazed farm animal and still have to go do my chores. I stepped barefoot on a copperhead once. I'm no wimp. Yeah, it wasn't on purpose. Snake was just as freaked out as I was, zoomed like the snake devil was after it while I cleared a 4 foot gate.
    31. Last song you heard?
    I just found this on youtube, I wanna see it really bad. Comes out in June 2013.
    32. What was the last thing you ate?
    Oh, people people people. Chocolate chip cookie dough. THAT'S RIGHT, I'm making cookies!!!! I multitask like a maniac. It's really sad that I can't just hand you one through your screen as a thank you for visiting my site. Thank you, though, I really appreciate you stopping by.
    33. How do you feel RIGHT now?
    Waaaay better than yesterday. Remember I couldn't answer the what's the last thing you ate question? And I said I wouldn't have any food pix this time? Guess what...
    34. Have you driven anywhere today?
    Ok, that was cruel. But I really do make the awesomest chocolate chip cookies ever. Hot, soft, melty gooey chocolate chips....
    35. Whats your hair like?
    This is the first pony tail I've had in about 5 years, growing it out. There was a time it was over two feet long, lately it's been short and fun. Kind of in a transition stage right now. You can easily find the t-shirt by putting 'Wesley Crushers t-shirt' in your search bar. A young lady at my bank cracked the biggest smile when I walked in, great way to tag the nerdy people in your life, just wear a cool tee. 
    36. Would you ever work for the border patrol?
    Scott checks the yard for what the neighborhood dogs leave behind. I get full reports with great enthusiasm about how he's going to get even.
    37. Who's car were you in last?
    My own. And since this question is so boring, I'll tell you a true story from my old car days. Our former neighbor, well off older man with a nice house, traveled a lot, also into wood carving and composting, but he had a terrible time with mice getting into his house. An entire nest of them lived under the compost pile he so carefully nurtured. After he died and the compost pile croaked off, the mice moved around a bit, and one got into the trunk of my car somehow and made a nest, which we didn't find until later. I drove into town one morning, stopped in at McDonald's, was inside eating my breakfast when customers stood up shouting, Look, a *mouse*! And I looked up to where everyone was pointing out the window, and sure enough, there was this big monster mouse running across the parking lot toward the building, and of course, I can clearly see that if he's going in a straight line, he must have come from MY car. omg. So I quietly finished my breakfast and left as quickly as possible and have wondered ever since then whether that McDonald's had to go through an extra inspection and pricey extermination over me bringing the biggest mouse anyone ever saw into town unawares.
    38. Where did u go?
    Oh, I had no idea the above question would be continued. I'm so glad now that I entertained you, because this one would have had no answer.
    39. What High School are you going to?
    I'm surprised to find myself running with a twitter gang, and I'm not sure there's a way out. I think I made it through initiation, not sure when I'll have to get the tattoo and cut off someone's thumb, but it's nice to belong, and I get perks all over their territory, and you can, too, come play with us!  Click the banner to go check it out.

    40. Are you going to homecoming?
    With my last batch of chickens I was able to figure out who laid which eggs, but I'm having a tougher time with this bunch. See that pretty speckled one? No idea, but I'm pretty sure it's not T'Pol's because she's not a heavy laying breed and we get one of these nearly every day. I'm betting it's Myka's, she's a production cross called an Indian River. The rest I'm pretty sure about.
    41. Have you ever been in an interracial relationship?
    I used to have this duck... I got a kick out of how badly the hens beat the crap out of him, but it never stopped him from trying again, over and over and over. I caught one of their fights on camera and put it on a youtube called Menage a Trois Gone Awry and didn't realize for years that it got all those hits because people thought it was a sex video. Sorry, it's gone now.  I'm dumb and deleted it.
    42. Is your birthday on a holiday?
    I was born on United Nations Day, which is one day after Weird Al's birthday.
    43. Are you old enough to vote?
    There was no vote, the groundhog said spring WILL come early this year, and no one can stop it. He's probably part of a crime fighting group hellbent on stopping an evil overlord conspiring to force us all into submission. I say Go Groundhog, yeah! 

    44. Do you have any friends or family in the war right now?
    The best way to eat bbq ribs is right over the pan they just cooked in. I just stopped and ate some. Live action survey here, folks! Ew. Oh, nevermind, that's just sauce on my keyboard. Little bit sticky now. And yes, I know people in the military. They rock. I hope they get awesome bbq ribs, too.
    45. Are you a vegitarian?
    No, but I'm an excellent speller. I do like vegetables, though.
    46. Do you worry about global warming?
    I worry more what's going to happen when I am forced to drive an electric car and desperately need a recharge and I'm still a mile from my house in very inclement weather. It'll be as fun as running out of gas all the time. I'm answering this question while I watch Nemo coverage on the weather channel. 
    47. Do you like polar bears
    I've heard that if you eat polar bear liver it will kill you because the vitamin A is so toxic. So if I have to eat a polar bear, I will probably stick to the filet mignon part.
    48. Do you like alligators?
    I have eaten alligator tail, and somewhere there is an alligator running around with a stub. I feel sorta bad about that.
    49. Which of the Marley brothers do you like best?
    I wanna change this. Which of The Sklar Brothers do you like best? I tend to go for glasses.
    50. What slang word do you call marijuana?
    Ha, this survey was written by a teenager on pot. How funny.
    51. Do you have to get your wisdom teeth out?
    No, but I bet you do, you rascally survey creator. Ask me if I've ever had heart surgery or something.

    52. Ashley or Mary-Kate?
    Kathy Griffin This pot smoking survey creator with a wisdom teeth problem has a crush on the Olsen twins. Of all the things I've ever put into a survey that could lose me followers, it's probably Kathy, but it's not like I inundate you people with her, so jump down to 53 if this annoyed you.

    53. Do you wear your sweetie's clothes?
    My sweetie crawls under the car and climbs all over the roof, there is no way I'm putting those clothes on. I fuss at him a lot for bringing spiders in. They hitchhike in and drop off in the kitchen as he walks by me, can't tell you how many times this has actually happened, and even though he might have *just* got back from deer hunting through all kinds of brush and wilderness, he never believes he's the one bringing spiders in.

    54. Do you have a tan?
    If you're into white Irish actor/directors named Eoin, there's a whole pinterest full of him at Eoin Macken. If you wanna know more go to his site at Blank Canvas Pictures. I'm mostly doing this because I like to irritate him, he retweeted me the other day, and I made a new friend on twitter because of it.

    55. Where were you one hour ago?
    Just one? Probably in the kitchen looking for something to eat.
    56. Life.. how do you feel about it?
    It sux, but I don't care. What the heck, I'll take it anyway. I kind of think pain is what drives us and makes us human, and I defy some wimpy alien to come inhabit THIS body.... BWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!
    57. Have you ever logged on to your bf/gf/crush's Myspace page?
    Scott is so paranoid he won't even let me watch him type in a password to one of his fantasy football teams so I won't be able to sabotage them after he took my team over and made me LOSE. >=l
    58. Which do you enjoy more: Soccer or Hockey
    I think I'm at zero on both. There is no 'more' than the other. However, I'm interested in Celebrity Soccer 6 because Team Merlin was at and near the top the last two years, and that's Team Merlin from the tv show Merlin, not the plane and helicopter stuff. You can get updates from SoccerSix on Twitter "The worlds biggest celebrity football tournament. 2013 dates coming soon!" SoccerSix recentaly retweeted me, too, pretty cool.
    59. Name someone you love.
    This is the other grandbaby under construction, 13 weeks. 
    60. Would you rather have a million dollars or true love?
    I've already got the true love, working on the million bucks. 
    61. Which of your MySpace friends has a naughty piercing?
    Every time I see the word MySpace in this survey I have flashbacks to what the world was like before facebook. MySpace was so a hundred years ago. That was even before I started following Wil Wheaton on twitter. I started following Anne (his wife) last month because I discovered it adds so much more depth to Wil's tweets. That very tweet Wil made right there is the one that compelled me to follow Anne on twitter, I couldn't imagine what he was talking about.
    62. Is your boyfriend/girlfriend a marine?
    "Scott is a workhorse. He is TOUGHER than a marine. He can carry a hundred pound river rock up a hill and then go get another one, and do this for a couple of hours before he even stops to get a drink. And he's not even a great big muscley guy." --Ok, I wrote that 6 years ago, before he wound up having hernia surgery... 
    63. Are you currently in a relationship?
    I *nearly* got Xander Bennett's book Cages for 2 cents on Amazon.com last November. That's right 2 pennies. I'm sure it was a typo. The order went through just fine, $4.01 with shipping, got notice of a ship date 3 days later, waited and waited and waited... Finally contacted Amazon in January and said Hey, whadup, didn't get my book, so they refunded. I looked it up again, discovered there are both new and used copies going for over $100 (one is currently at $169). Granted, some new and used are still under $40 (I got a good used one for about $30), but I think maybe those sellers just aren't aware other sellers are asking for way more because it's out of print. And I think the 2 cent seller I accidentally found must have panicked when my order came through and saw the 2 cent thing, held onto the book, entered a fake ship invoice, and sat back waiting for me to be refunded. It's all kind of funny, too bad it didn't slip on through, because I would have loved being able to say I got it for 2 cents. I asked Xander if he gets anything at all out of the copies going for over $100, he said not a dime from anyone. I looked up the publisher, they went out of business in 2010, and I'm thinking what a good lesson I'm learning for my own future. Mainly, if my publisher crashes, buy the books back up myself and relist them for collector prices because they're rare and out of print... Anyway, Cages is a cool story in the form of a bound comic (Melanie Cook illustrated), would love to see it as a movie, and here's a teaser.
         
    64. Would you rather date someone 2 years younger or older?
    I always sucked at dating. It was such a relief to get married and not have to go through the angst of dating any more. The few times in the past that I thought of divorce, just the fleeting thoughts of having to date again were enough to move my contentment back up a few notches. Way past that now, Scott and I went out on a date to AutoZone this morning and it was pretty awesome.  It's nice being best friends.
    65. What's your favorite junk food?
    Coffee. I know that's weird. I can have only half a cup a day because I'm so hypersensitive to caffeine, so I buy really nice expensive coffee for a beautiful experience.
    66. Who was the last person who messaged you?
    A twitter friend. I am ~really~ digging this commercial. I have to use the new iframe code so if you're on a computer you might have to click out to see it, sorry, but it's worth it. 
    67. Do you know what your wearing the 1st day of school?
    I just had a sobering thought. You know how it's always happy hour somewhere in the world? It's always the first day of school or training somewhere in the world.
    68. Are you taller than 5'6?
    Fernando doesn't seem too worried about it.
    Let's have a good day!  
  • knock yourself out survey from tumblr

    Knock yourself out:
    • 1: What are you wearing?
    My real sheepskin woolly slippers hand sewn by a guy up the highway. Misty Mountain Sheepskin Co.
     
     
    • 2: Ever been in love?
    One of the being-a-nerd requirements is a certain innate puniness. I get warm fuzzies when I see I'm not alone in my afflictions, and I guess a lot of other nerds do, too, because at 14 hours Wil Wheaton had over 500 comments on his post on facebook about being puny. We're here for you, Wil Wheaton. Any puny nerd who can get continual consistent response over simply eating burritos, quaffing homemade brewskies, and racing to get nearly nude middle age beach photos up before the paparazzi can has won the game of thrones. Only 2 people in my life have a clue who you are or what the whole apology thing about pinterest was, but -oh yes- you have won.
    • 3: Ever had a terrible breakup?
    Don't I wish. Every year, ladybugs swarm by the thousands out of the woods and find their way into my house. You never see a horror thriller about a ladybug infestation because it's just so stupid. Spiders and flies actually use a little cunning, calculating their moves, sneaking around, quickly retreating. Ladybugs just suddenly fly up your nose without warning, or dive straight down into your glass of milk, or crawl maddeningly through your clothes and hair, and your hands and fingers slip right over them while their little sticky feet cling like velcro. You don't even feel the tiny little crunches, you just discover the carnage later on the bottom of your sock. Ladybugs have no sense of self preservation, no red flags going off that a move might possibly be a drastically wrong one to make, no decision making skills based on past experience, no avoidance behaviors. They simply just impulsively do stuff for no rhyme or reason without warning. One lit on the edge of my glasses and started walking along the inside, I automatically put my finger up to wipe it off, once disrupted it flitted right over to my eyelid and just started walking around, I had to take my glasses OFF trying to grab hold of its tiny little round body without smashing it to bits in my EYE... I've had to dig them out of my ears, too, which is a special little Disney experience all its own. You almost can't feel them on you at all, they're hard to see, so when you go to the bathroom you have to make sure one hasn't fallen into your underwear before you pull them up, because that's a little treat you really don't want in your life. I find them in the laundry, the fridge, cake batter, my keyboard, my dishwater, randomly scattered on the bed. Eventually they'll all gather in upper corners and light fixtures and dry out to death, collecting dust and crumbling away. Scott likes to be kind to them and scoop them up and carry them outside. Several more follow or ride back in, and he never even sees them. It's ridiculous.
     
    • 4: How tall are you?
    This gets really dumb when a pulmonologist makes you take off your shoes and practically draws a chalk outline on a wall and then a nurse in another office pronounces him wrong by half an inch because she's holding a stack of stuff in one hand and a pen in the other while she flies through a yearly wellness exam, and suddenly you find that the certifiable 5'4" you've been most of your life gets crossed out and changed to 5'3 1/2" by a dingleberry. Some people have way too much power.
    • 5: How much do you weigh?
    This differs by as much as ten pounds from my scale to a doctor's office to the freight scale at Scott's work on the same day within 2 hours. I'm not sure there really is such a thing as accuracy. I think one of the post offices around here is stiffing me on packages.
    • 6: Any tattoos do you want?
    I'm afraid to even use the peel and stick, too many allergic reactions. And my luck I'd be the one to get someone who couldn't spell properly or see straight. And cosmic irony would dictate that if I were to get one, something about it would get screwed up enough no one would know what it was and I'd have to explain it. And seriously, I'm not sure I could part with that kind of money just to have someone poke my skin up with little needles.
    • 7: Any piercings that you want?
    I'm constantly piercing myself in the kitchen, I can't imagine paying someone to do that on purpose. By the way, I'm not a self cutter because I'm terrified of infection. Cutting up raw meat and slipping some of it neatly into parts of your hand that should never know the rotting DNA of another being and then developing a weird dark patch or streak is NOT cool, especially when you're allergic to most of the antibiotics out there.
    • 8: OTP?
    My reticence comes from being naturally wary of too-easy technology that, while being our friend, also seeks to monitor and steer us.
    • 9: Favorite Show?
    Lately it's Merlin, and I'll tell you why. No blood. After years of butchering and illness and dealing with hard emotional stuff (like an 'escorted' abortion- my psychologist says it was forced) and then going through severe hormone deprivation last spring and wigging out, I am GRATEFUL I can watch a cool tv show that doesn't make a big deal about being realistic with blood and gore. THANK YOU, Merlin creators, for creating a story I can actually get into without having to wade through all my old traumas. If you've been fortunate enough to have never been sprayed liberally with blood from another living being, or be blood soaked up to your shoulders cleaning up or dealing with someone's birth or death or whatever, bless your innocence, and I thank you for not dissing people who just can't take it anymore.
     
     
    • 10: Favorite bands?
    I've been stuck on Eiffel 65 again lately.
     
     
    • 11: Something you miss?
    I was wondering earlier today if I should maybe crochet another afghan. It's been a really long time since I've done that, and maybe I'd like to make something purply.
    • 12: Favorite song?
    It's also been a long time since I listened to some sultry smoky saxophone music. Kind of in a mood.
    • 13: How old are you?
    I am continually surprised at how much better than my mom I look at this age.
    • 14: Zodiac sign?
    Scorpio, Ox, and anything else that signifies unrepentant stubbornness.
    • 15: Hair Color?
    Still the same bland natural mousy brown, but it's getting longer. Sort of.
    • 16: Favorite Quote?
    Bowler: You oughta run, Tony P.
    Tony P: You can't hurt me, Baby Bowler. 'Cause I'm protected by
    the god of hair care. (demonstrates his flaming hairspray) And it's
    time to send you back to your daddy.
    Bowler: (pulling Carmine out of his bag) You killed my father.
    Tony P: That's right. 'Cause I'm a killer. (Carmine flies out of the
    room on his own, and around behind the other side of the stairs)
    And you're not. Let's face it, kid...You don't have the guts to kill
    me.
    Bowler: You're right. I don't have the guts to kill you. Because I'm
    better than you. Yeah, that's right. A lot better. You know, I may
    even find the courage to forgive you someday.
    (Carmine flies around, slamming into Tony P and driving him
    partway through a wall.)
    Bowler: Oh! Carmine, on the other hand, feels differently than I do
    about forgiveness.
    (Carmine rolls into his bag, and Bowler picks it up.)
    Bowler: (into bag) Okay, now I'm going back to graduate school. That
    was the agreement.

    • 17: Favorite singer?
    I always have to come back to Weird Al on this one. Between the food songs and scifi parodies and nuking Christmas and doing everyone from Joan Jett to Lady Gaga, I really don't think anyone else can hold a candle. Here, enjoy one of my fave fun singalongs.
     
     
     
    • 18: Favorite color?
    You can look up your fave color at Color: Meaning, Symbolism and Psychology
    • 19: Loud music or soft?
    I like silence throughout most of my day the last couple of years. I feel like I'm processing or something, after many years of continual noise and work and music and television and radio and stuff.
    • 20: Where do you go when you're sad?
    I have been so deep in my head since I was teeny tiny that I'm not sure I can cope any other way. I have been thrilled to find other people producing things that I thought only existed in my head, so somehow some of us wind up in some of the same places, apparently. I can't help wondering why a significant number of us seem to create visions of other places (planets), other times, other technologies (cities), other biologies and ecologies. It's like we were born to do this, either to remember something we've forgotten during this life or feel compelled to create something that somehow can't really exist, which seems illogical unless it really is possible. I feel like living here in this time and place is an exercise of patience and learning, a sort of pit stop for recharging, or a slam through understanding hard things very quickly, depending on what's happening in our lives. Sadness just doesn't seem like a natural survival tool, so I think there are other reasons it exists for us.
    • 21: How long does it take you to shower?
    All the years I've been avoiding shower questions... I may as well just be honest, can you handle that? Too late, here it comes. I have anxiety attacks in the shower. Sometimes they get so bad it's hard to breathe. I shower as quickly as humanly possible without compromising hygiene and get outa there. I've been having anxiety attacks around water since I was a little bitty kid, prolly because of the Asperger's. I was able to swim for a few years and be ok, and I enjoyed hot baths for a few years, but that's all gone now. There is no joy in getting wet, there's just way too much sensation over too much area all at once, and I can smell when the water's been treated and the difference between city waters and well waters (especially between rainy and drought seasons) when it gets steamy. It doesn't help that I have allergic reactions to soaps and shampoos. On the other hand, I can't stand feeling grimy or gross, so washing my hair and hands and whatever might get a little compulsive sometimes.
    • 22: How long does it take you to get ready in the morning?
    I can be out the door from a dead sleep in 5 minutes flat if I have to, but I'd rather snail around with coffee and my computer and whatever for 3 hours first.
    • 23: Ever been in a physical fight?
    My favorite kind of fight is with a rooster. Those nidiots love it when you egg them on, and they stalk you across the yard and then launch, and all you have to do is swivel a hip and knock them off balance in mid air, and dang if they don't get up and dust off and come back for more, because that was ~fun~.
    • 24: Turn on?
    I have always been stopped dead in my tracks by these kinds of colors. The compulsion to buy whatever is these colors is so strong that I wrestle with myself for several minutes before I can walk away. Could be a shirt, could be something I see in a catalog, could be toys or crayons or stationary. If I were a bower bird, this would be considered an instinct. I wish chickens had feathers in these colors.
     


     
     
    • 25: Turn off?
    Any kind of screaming and yelling, angry shouting, loud boisterousness, mocking, basically the unpleasant end of the scale in human voices.
    • 26: The reason I joined Tumblr?
    Colin Morgan fans. They are delightfully entertaining. I think some of them have gone so far overboard that Colin himself has become a caricature, but it's still cute how joyfully creative they can be. I don't think most of them realize how utterly rabid they look, a weird sort of innocence in consuming Colin as a product, kind of like someone in a fantasy story not realizing they're a werewolf or something. If I were an actor I'd be terrified of fans, but my social anxiety is off the wall anyway.
    • 27: Fears?
    I seriously sometimes wake up very upset that I just remembered I've ditched too many classes to pass a college class, and I'm going to have to retake it next semester, and it takes about ten minutes to remember I haven't been in college for some years, and that I've never actually skipped classes to that extent in real life, and I never really feared college like that. I have no idea where that comes from, but every time it happens I feel very upset. (Metaphor for life kind of thing...? May have to bring this one up with my psychologist.)
    • 28: Last thing that made you cry?
    It's funny how you can get through 20 years of living a certain way and then it hits you one day that you never really had what you wished for, and when you sift it all down to the root of why, you can see every bit of it came from parents who simply didn't have a clue how to just enjoy having and loving children and everything you've done as an adult revolves around trying to please other people while you set yourself aside as less important. That's such an empty hole to notice, and it immediately makes me think of all the ways I must have failed my own children, although they've insisted I'm pretty cool.
    • 29: Last time you cried?
    Some day someone's going to ask me the last time I huzzahed. Those fleeting joyous moments should get a little more credit in our days.
    • 30: Meaning behind your url
    I suspect this means tumblr url. I swear, I had no idea there was another Pinky Guerrero out there, and a semi-famous one at that, and ironically I got her twitter name before she did and she has to use the underscore with her name, and it's just too funny when she forgets to do that and tells everyone to reply to *my* twitter name. I bet she hates me. But she got pinterest before I did, so it all balances out. She's got the dotcom, I've got the xanga blog AND the myspace, oh yeah, AND the fanpop. She's the self purported super woman who does it all, I'm the loser has-been geeky nerd who lurks around under several different names being weird, making Lexx posts and raising chickens and obsessing over surveys, and many other things that I don't feel the need to resume (I verbed the noun resume, hope that didn't confuse you) out to the world on a website. I wish other-Pinky much success and a happy life. I'll pretend that's another me in a parallel world so my own existence will be validated with the feeling of balance in the nature of the cosmic irony that is my life.
    • 31: Last book you read?
    I love the library, it saves me untold tens of thousands of dollars that I'd otherwise compulsively spend in book stores. My reading list this year is about 30 books long so far. The last one I worked on was in the Gears of War series, and I've recently started Book of the Navajo. I've never really kept track of what I read, but when I do start listing, people's eyes tend to glaze over. My latest amazon book purchase was a 10 pound monstrosity called The History of Food. I could be exaggerating about the ten pounds.
    • 32: Last song you listened to?
    The whole Lexx tv show soundtrack. Just seemed like the right thing to plug into the car this week.
    • 33: Last show you watched?
    Always Sunny in Philadelphia. Super fave, big fan, hope it lasts forever. I am especially enamored of Liam McPoyle for some reason. He is one creepy dude.
     
                
     
    • 34: Last person you talked to?
    A complete stranger from a faraway place. I should have hung up *before* it got ugly. I don't like it when it gets ugly. People being paid to get ugly is a cancer on our planet.
    • 35: The relationship between you and the person you last texted?
    Daughter once removed...? She came out of my sister, but it feels like she's sorta mine. My DNA recognizes her and I can't help it, all the rest is built in.
    • 36: Favorite food?
    Every favorite food I've listed in surveys has wound up on my food allergies list in the last couple of years, so now I feel like I'm jinxing myself to even talk about having a favorite food.
    • 37: Place you want to visit?
    I think it would be cool to go see the Mockingbird Lane set, new series coming on NBC. I love that house.
     
    • 38: Last place you were?
    Isn't it magical how Walmart can transform overnight into new holidays? And isn't it magical how when I'm in there I feel more holiday luv and cheer than anywhere else? I think it's all the bright colors. Warm fuzzies have a lot to do with color, I think. I bet there is a whole marketing science around that. Ok, I know there is because I worked retail for a few years. ~*magical*~
    • 39: Do you have a crush?
    I always have a crush. Person, place, or thing, if I don't have some kind of obsession going, something is very wrong with me. Fortunately for the world at large, my obsessions are like lightning storms coming and going, because if I were to focus on one obsession for ten years straight like some people I know can, I would be either very rich or very mental (possibly both), and either way I'd be the most evil genius about it you ever met. At least this way I'm mostly harmless.
    • 40: Last time you kissed someone?
    Scott has seemed extra huggy and cuddly lately, and it's the middle of bow season and the Vikings lost recently. I'm perplexed. Maybe it's because I made his favorite Halloween cookies or something. Halloween brings out that special feeling, I know.
    • 41: Last time you were insulted and what was it?
    I don't keep track. Being insulted actually means you're worth enough to get someone's attention, and if they're making the time to come at you, then they're pretty much admitting they're jealous and can't get over something and unable go on with their lives. Next time you insult someone else, stand back and watch all the moments tick through your emotions and thoughts and see if I'm not right. If you are very honest with yourself, you will notice that whatever stopped you and caught your attention really has its root inside yourself somewhere somehow.
    • 42: What color underwear are you wearing?
    Dang, you caught me on a white day. How boring I am. I've always been jealous that guys get the underoos kind of thing, and everything cool that girls get is girlied up guy underwear. Since I worked almost 5 years in an intimates department in a big retail chain, I tend to notice this kind of stuff. I am especially jealous that John Barrowman gets to disrobe all the time because his underwear is so cool. Underwear for women that I would totally buy if it were available would include My Little Pony and anything with any kind of starship on it.




    • 43: What color shirt are you wearing?
    I've got to get me some new t-shirts, it's getting really old how many times I've been wearing my ancient red Homestar Runner tee when this question comes up.
    • 44: What color bottoms are you wearing?
    Well, you asked.
     
    • 45: Wearing any bracelets?
    Only when I leave the house. Someday I'll take a pic of my allergy bracelets.
    • 46: Last sport you played?
    I'm in the middle of pastry chef-ing for a Halloween party, kind of a sport to beat the clock when you get down to crunch time. Yeah, the truth comes out, I run back and forth to my laptop doing a question here or there on surveys as a way to destress. Bet you guys thought I had my lazy butt parked just sitting here, didn't you? I think I've mentioned before that surveys can take me days to fill out, something I didn't make clear in the olden days when I got fussed at for 'wasting time'.
    • 47: Last song you sang?
    I tried to do the Horoscope song with Weird Al.
     
     
    • 48: Last prank call you remember doing?
    I really need to remember this angle the next time a snotty stranger gets through on the phone.
    • 49: Last time you hung out with anyone?
    Me and Scott hang out all the time.
    • 50: Favorite movie?
    I tried answering this once. It turned into a list monstrosity that I couldn't stop adding to. I finally just put it into my profile. Every time I feel like deleting it I remember how caught up in it I got, so I leave it there to deter me from getting caught in that again. We may never know what my favoritist movie of all time really is.
     
     
     

  • 100 Girly Questions Survey

    I'm not terribly girly, so this one should be a challenge.

    Do you wear: alot of makeup, some makeup, no makeup

    This really is a big deal to people. And it's an even bigger deal when you eventually have to cave to admitting you're so allergic to just about everything out there that you're *stuck* showing your real face to the world. I've never been one to be vain, and goodness knows I don't have a clue when it comes to self awareness, but I noticed a long time ago in college that I really do get treated better when I wear makeup. The incredible thing is that even without makeup, people tell me my skin is "flawless", that I look far younger than I am, and one women even went into a weird rant against God and the cosmos that at ten years younger she looked like hell and stomped out the door with her cigarettes and alcohol. I dread the inevitable coming up, people finding out how old I am, because we always wind up having weird one-sided conversations that embarrass me to death. But even so, it's actually really true, when I used to be able to wear makeup, particularly eye makeup, I definitely got treated better by all kinds of people. I've never understood that.

    Whats your favorite makeup?
    This is already making me miss makeup, I miss playing with it. I was real bad about forgetting I had it on at work and didn't realize I'd smear it rubbing my eyes and then handle customers for two hours before I got a break and noticed my makeup was screwed. Took me a few years to figure out the reason my eyes were itching all the time was because I'm allergic to the makeup.

    Could you go out in public without make up?
    The fun part is thinking you can really slouch at home on a day off, and that's the day you wind up with an airway reaction to 'green' cleaners and you look like s#*t at the clinic. I'm such a ball of nerves any more that I wash my hair first thing just to make sure I'm ready for an emergency.

    Do you do your nails oftenly?
    I got my nails done for Halloween in a salon one year and wound up with a fungal infection messing up my left thumbnail like a zombie for months, how ironic is that.

    What color are your fingernails?
    Clean. When you are in nursing school, they point out how icky pretty fingernails are underneath. People rarely wash underneath them or go out of their way to put sanitizer on or underneath pretty nails, but never fail to use those nails to scratch and touch *everything*.

    How about your toe nails?
    Ingrown toenail surgery is a bigger deal than you'd think. I once saw an x-ray of a guy's foot where infection had gone into the bone, and once that happens, bone starts dissolving real quick. Just a heads up.

    Heels or flats?
    You don't want me anywhere near heels. I tend to fling myself headlong like a projectile. I've destroyed my ankles on stairs. Not cool doing that holding a small child.

    Eyeliner or mascara?
    I actually like the whole guyliner thing, but Scott flat refuses to try it.

    Lip gloss or lipstick?
    A gay friend once told me I have the perfect lips for lipstick and he seemed a little upset that I don't bother wearing any. (I think maybe being allergic to something in lipstick heightens my lip picking.) He had a huge poster of Marilyn Monroe in his bedroom. That is the only time in my life anyone has put me anywhere near some kind of pedestal. I really don't think about my lips very much, I guess. Should I?

    Eyelash curler or tweezers
    I have a double curse. My eyelashes grow real thick and long (nice, right?) but in crazy directions (sux), and then they get loose and fall out every time my eyelids puff up around pollinating trees (super sux). And I'm too allergic to adhesives to boost up with false eyelashes (uber super sux). Btw, did you know you can get eyebrow toupes? False Eyebrow Purchasing Options I've never tried them. I'm so allergic to adhesives that I can't even tolerate pedia patches with event monitors without getting hives.

    Vans or converse?
    I guess this is a thing. Vans vs. Converse, the ultimate showdown | The Las Lomas Page Since I live in mid-continent, it doesn't seem to be a thing around here. I could be wrong, but I live in the woods. Extreme sports around here involves compound bows, black powder guns, and off road vehicles.

    Nike or adidas?
    I picked up these cute Sketchers bikers a couple of years ago.

    Myspace or facebook
    It took two months of patient wrangling just to get into my myspace enough to try to delete it, and it's still there. I can't get back in. Facebook is very user friendly, I deleted the crap out of my old one and started a new one.

    Pink or red?
    Blue. blue lips - AOL Image Search Results I once dreamed I had half my face tattooed the way David Lee Roth had his face painted on his Eat 'Em and Smile album.

    Black or white
    Pink is the new black ~and~ the new white, the new blue in India, the now it's the new purple. I wouldn't be surprised if pink were the new pink.

    Rock or pop
    With me it's more like a metal or new age thing, depending on my mood.

    What color are your socks
    See my sox.

    What color is your bra?
    I want to get a red one.

    Are you wearing skinny jeans?
    I love flared legs. I have this thing. It was practically fashionable in the 70's to get your jeans caught in your bike chain.

    You think you set or follow trends?
    I wait until they go back outa fashion and then cannonball in and splash everyone. I'm very annoying like that.

    Have you ever done something just to fit in?
    I've never fit in with anyone in my life, even when I tried. Once in awhile a group builds up and follows me around like Buckaroo Banzai during the ending credits, but I tend to attract fringe people that other people like to bomb and then they start wars in my comments and then I kinda freak out about being pushed to be the rebel leader by people going through breakdowns of some kind. You all are on your own if you start fighting. I don't take sides any more.

    Do you go to the mall oftenly?
    I drive past it a lot. They've got cool stuff in there, but if they can't accommodate me at 7 a.m., see ya.

    Do you have many friends?
    They're afraid to admit it right now. I had a very typical aspie meltdown one year and obliterated my sites, and I'm blown away that even after all that, they still regularly traffic through every week checking on me, even during the whole year and a half I had nothing on it. *snif* I mean, that gets you ~right here~. But yeah, it's really impressive, I have some really really good friends out there all over the place, and I love you guys.

    Do you dislike any of your friends?
    No. I actually like all of them. It's my own personality that gets in the way.

    Whats your BESTEST friend's ever name?
    Scott, always gonna be Scott.

    Have you ever had a down moment with that person?
    Oh, heck yeah. Two whole years all we could say to each other was we want a divorce. 19 years married on August 5th. If you can't figure out how to be best buds with someone by the time you get old, you wind up going through a bunch of hard crap all by yourself, and that sux. I'd rather have a friend around. We laugh a *lot*.

    Most memorable moment with that person?
    Cupcake. You had to be there. aspie lovin'

    Who was your most recent missed call from?
    Let's see, that was 23 days ago. That's not so much an indicator that I'm johnny-on-the-spot answering my phone, but that everyone I know is so used to me not liking to use the phone that they rarely call. They are well trained.

    Who was the last person you called?
    My dad. You all need to call your dads. Don't give me junk about how they this or that, or you don't have time, or whatever, just call. You'll find out how much I took from my dad when the book comes out.

    What does your 5th message in your inbox say?
    Scott was laughing that he accidentally texted a pic of his leprosy to the wrong number and how they must've wtf'd.

    Don't worry, it's old scarring from an e.coli infection from when he let his legs hang in the river during a canoe trip, and now that he's older he really has to watch easy internal bleeding under the scarring because his skin integrity is so shot. (edit several days later- ok, it's actually pretty scary and we're going into the doctor every day and they're running every test they can think of ruling out everything they can, because they think it's gone autoimmune).

    Who was it from?
    I like making up cool Wabble game names to intrigue people and then putting on crazy unrelated passwords so no one can get in except my secret pals. Random trivia during redundant questioning.

    Single or taken?
    I have to drink a lot of chocolate milk today. I bought some because my niece and nephew spent the night this week, and no one drank any, and now it's sitting there with an expiration date. I'm clocking out doses of chocolate milk now because I'm diabetic. I can have one cup every two hours without spiking as long as I don't have any other carbs today. Getting a lot of dairy protein and calcium! And chocolate. I'll have to watch that, my heart wants to race when I have too much. I heard dogs die of heart attacks when they eat chocolate. I have no idea if this is true. I know I've wound up in the ER a couple times after going a little crazy on hot chocolate. Likewise, I have to be careful with coffee and tea, as well.

    If so, by who?
    In other random babbling, I'm so happy that Nerdist got picked up for tv on BBCA that I twitterpated all over my dvr this last weekend.

    What color are your eyes
    Well, to me they look like a weird yellow brown, but most people just say I have brown eyes. I get kinda freaked out looking at eyes for any real length of time, even in the mirror, and after avoiding this question on I don't know how many surveys, I thought What the heck, what color ARE my eyes? Well, I spent nearly an hour doing a whole study, using my cell phone and computer. The light in the kitchen makes my eye look yellower, the light in my bathroom makes it look browner, and I had all kinds of fun zooming and pixelating.

           

     

    Scott had to go look at his eyes in the mirror after I showed him this.   

    Whats your favorite color?
    I get the biggest kick out of this one.

    What song are you listening to right now?
    I keep preempting the questions, don't I?

    Do you like to dance?
    The funnest dancing I ever did was 'showtimes' at a nice 50'/60's lounge with a long food bar that I cooked for and assembled. I got to wear suspenders with awesome pins all up and down them and a cool driver's cap and a bartender armband, and we'd get on top of the bars or out on the dance floor and do dance routines to certain songs that came up every 15 or 20 minutes.

    Do you like to sing?
    I love to sing, spent 10 years in choir classes all through public school so I could go on field trips and get in plays and stuff, and then I got into a church choir so I could be on tv one year, which was fun.

    Do you believe in
    What, dangling sentences? I follow the Ancient Alien guy on Twitter, he gets into the most hilarious fights with people about beliefs.

    Do you believe in love at first sight?
    That's usually what happens with food.

    How about true love
    True love is a lie when you come up super allergic to citrus and have to give up lemon pie forever.

    Do you believe in bros before hoes?

    Are you a whore?
    I tried that with Scott a few times, he doesn't seduce easily. Too nerdy, too suspicious, too messed over by other women in his past.

    Are most of your friends guys or girls?
    I've never tallied. I was surprised to find out at MegaCon one year how many webmasters will slyly sidle up and very quietly introduce themselves because they fear being outed and shredded by rival web gangs, and one in particular that I'd admired from afar turned out to be a really cool guy instead of the really cool slightly insinuated lezbi girl, which I guess is a good way to hide from the public if you fear wrath somewhere, just pass the hot potato on or something and rarely speak up on boards kind of thing. I never learned that, I got stoned a lot. The bad kind. Web rocks hurt just as bad as real rocks, and when you have a compulsion to pop back up and nyahnyah to draw fire, yeah, lotta rocks. Where was I? Oh, yeah, it was a great time, really stirred up the fans, had a blast being shot at, and now I think it's just all too funny. What the heck, frenemies, friends, it's all good.

    Favorite candy?
    I've kinda been cheating on the Doctor and Connor Temple and started hanging out with these guys.

    Favorite ice cream flavor?
    I no can haz. wah.

    Ever cried yourself to sleep?
    That's a good way to drown in your own snot, and no, I can't even imagine being able to sleep after I've cried that hard, am I right? Not intending to make fun of anyone crying, because it sux. When you can cry for several hours till your throat hurts real bad and your head hurts and you feel too sick to eat, your life is sucking so bad that you couldn't go to sleep in the first place.

    Ever slept on your computer?
    I once slept on my phone and came unglued like a cat when it started ringing. I know people who can't sleep without their phones on all the time because they're so hooked into needing live broadcasts to survive, THAT would strip my sanity and leave me curled up in a gutter. I would look like John Bigbooty in the asylum.

    Longest you've used your computer?
    Years. We had one that completely crashed twice and limped along like a cripple on staticky dial up, and I was building a huge website I couldn't even pull up to see properly, just had to go on the layout I could see in my head. I'll never forget the first time I saw the whole thing pull up all at once while I was goofing off in a medical terminology computer classroom, I nearly wept it was so beautiful, like a glossy interactive fan magazine. I have dreams of building awesome 3D holographic sites in a futuristic world where computer coding is alive in a pandimensional field and touch screens are a joke. I wake up sad sometimes. Then I get some coffee and get more ideas and get busy again.

    Whose your #1 top?
    Me. Weird Al said it best, I can be my own best friend and I can send myself for pizza.

    Why?
    Because when all the chips are down, if you can't count on yourself to save your own life, who CAN you count on? And can other people count on you? I am the Bruce Willis of the whole believing in one's self angle.

    Favorite smiley?
               >=)

    Are you addicted to something?
    Youtube. I like salvaging broken fan vids that stop playing right or aren't embeddable. I collect youtubes like some people collect ball cards, action figures, and hot wheels.

    Do you consider yourself a myspace freak?
    I geeked out over there for awhile making Willy Wonka and other stuff, it was fun. Got really sick of Tom. Did you know there's a way to rewrite youtube codes? I totally had it down.

    Do you edit your profile oftenly?
    I was really surprised to find out I still have one here when I came back from my internet vacation. I'd forgotten I filled that out.

    Rock or pop?
    Seriously? Duplicate questioning? Maybe my answer wasn't acceptable. Um, I also kinda like electronic dance music like iiO. What genre is Eiffel 65? They're like several things all squashed together and sorta slightly grunged or something.

    Have you ever been in a fist fight?
    I grew up having to face down farm animals 10 times my weight. I scared a couple of guys half to death one time when they started tickling me at a party and I had them both down in an eyeblink because tickling someone with Asperger's is always a huge mistake, one's chest was bleeding and the other's shirt was ripped, and I don't remember how.

    Do you want to?
    Adamantly, no. I don't understand people trying to goad me into fighting. I come from 400 years of Mennonites. People think that means wimp, but we're pretty good at killing things.

    Have you ever thought about having sex?
    This was an abrupt pivot.

    Have you ever babysat, if so, who?
    I have too many bad memories of how my mom used to send me to friends' houses and I'd be stuck with monstrous brats for hours, over and over and over. You know what? You had 'em, you sit with 'em. I raised my own, I didn't farm them out while I pursued a career or went back to college. If I couldn't find a way to do that and still be there for my kids, I didn't do it, and I still managed to get a degree and hold a job. Part of that commitment was that I loved my kids and didn't trust anyone, so it all worked out. Not crazy about hearing other people's sob stories about their kid going to jail or getting pregnant or being a drunk or dropping out of school or whatever when you know the kids got stuck with babysitters and/or raising themselves.

    Have you ever waited soo long for something you wanted to happen so bad?
    This is why I get up so early and get my shopping and traveling and whatever else done, because the lines get ridiculous later.

    Are you content with your life?
    Yep. Facing a future dismally bemoaning my lot in life seems like too much of a drag.

    Who is your role model?
    I'm clearly developing some baditude and getting cranky with some of these last couple of questions, so let's see, lately it's the Hillywood Show, who I have watched grow up on youtube. They recently got a big public promo for their own music video, very cool.

    Whats your best feature?
    I keep forgetting this is supposed to be a girly survey. I had to go ask Scott what my best feature is because I don't know how to gauge these things. He said I've got pretty eyes. But he also likes werewolves and vampires and zombies, so I guess the yellow part I think I see in my eyes is becoming.

    Your worst feature?
    Scott's got a fever and is on antibiotic right now, so I'm not sure asking him this one really counts. He's never been the sort to call me names or talk down to me, so it's anyone's guess. If I had to complain about one particular thing that is wonky about me, I'd say I'm not entirely thrilled with the way my ears seem to be getting bigger as I get older. I once saw a picture of a 100 year old woman whose ears had spread out like pancakes on the sides of her head, and I cringe to think someday I could have really big ears. They've been so tiny most of my life.

    Are you racist?
    Completely. I really loathe spiders and all their kind.

    Are you a sexist?
    The whole neighborhood is sexist, I'm not allowed to keep a rooster around the place, although I am stubbornly defying them.

    Do you discriminate?
    Heck yeah, every time I see someone hanging around the front of a store with flyers in their hand I tell them don't talk to me. Actually, I have to do that because once I stop to talk, I tend to out-argue just for the game of it, and Scott has to get my arm and drag me off talking.

    Are you ashamed of talking to someone or being seen talking to someone who isnt as popular as you?
    I have a facial recognition problem, half the time I don't know who the heck I'm talking to even if I've seen them before. Keeping track of popularity seems more laborious than keeping track of family birthdays, so I just avoid everyone in general.

    Do you talk shit?
    I can go from totally silent for 3 hours to TMI without warning, so don't ask me about anything personal unless you wanna be grossed out. As for gossip, no, I don't care to do that. I'm usually disappointed in people who succumb to that.

    Have you ever talked shit?
    I tend to point out the obvious, the conflicts of interest, and incongruencies. People don't like me getting interested enough to open my mouth because I enjoy pointing out the flaws in the person talking the shit.

    Do you care about what other people think about you?
    No, seriously I don't. I don't have the craving to be loved all the time.

    Have you ever not been yourself to impress someone?
    I think the only way I impress people is just being myself and not having a clue.

    Have you ever done yourself VERY pretty with so much makeup and a whole different outfit to make a guy like you?
    I'm not sure that's what guys like. I've done that to make other girls uncomfortable, though. They get so territorial, it's like putting the biggest mask on makes you the winner.

    Have you ever betrayed someone?
    I've heard other people go on about being betrayed, and I've never gotten what the deal is. Betrayal implies you're holding secret cards that can get you outed in some way, so if someone rats you out and you can't trust them, that only means you smile and keep playing along and then push them out of the car in traffic. Metaphorically. I've never done that, but I know people who really do that.

    Water or soda?
    Never soda. Have you wondered where all that carbon dioxide goes once you ingest it? Your body doesn't use it, it has to get rid of it. You don't burp it all out, so your body has to find other ways to get it out by dissolving it in the your bloodstream, which overloads you on carbon dioxide. Ok, technically this has never been proven, but it's a working hypothesis I have about why I feel better when I don't drink pop of any kind. Or it could be this. Flame retardant chemical found in US soft drinks

    Coke or pepsi?
    I avoid all pop like the plague anyway because they generally list 'natural flavors' in their ingredients. I'm very allergic to lemon and reactive to all other citrus, and lemon is a natural flavor that is used to boost all kinds of bottled and canned foods. You wouldn't believe how often you ingest lemon around the clock.

    Look behind you, whats behind you?

    You've no idea how much this question creeped me out. I mean, what if I'd turned around and there had been a spider peeking at me from behind that bale of straw?

    Have you ever been rejected or dumped?
    Someone was killed in the process. It'll get creepy in the book.

    Have you ever thought about how school would be like if someone didnt go there?
    Especially if the mom is the coach of the girls volleyball team her daughter is on, and she never gets benched no matter how bad she plays. And she's on the school board...

    Do you hate anyone?
    I'm not really into hating. It's a waste of time and energy I could be doing something else with.

    Do you love anyone?
    I love these horses.  They're French.

    Have you ever gotten drunk?
    ER cocktails are a surprise.

    Would you pass a drug test?
    Epic winning. I'm the only person I know who has managed to come off 25 years of medically sanctioned benzodiazapine addiction without replacing it with other meds. They laugh at me because it was always low dose, but hey, my GABA receptors were ~wrecked~ and the taper took two years. That whole bug crawling and biting sensation thing is *real*. I've heard from several people that benzo withdrawal sux as bad as heroin withdrawal.

    Whats your locker number?
    I still have stress dreams about forgetting locker combinations and finding out I'm still in college and failing all my classes and a huge paper is due in one hour and stuff like that. Missing the bus. I'm so scarred.

    Do you have good hygine?
    Ok, I can't take this anymore. Ask me if I can SPELL. omg. My hygiene is fine, thank you. I've been fixing some of the questions, but I'm done with that.

    Have you ever danced infront of the mirror?
    Never. I use mirrors for important things, like seeing if there is a bug on me somewhere.

    Ever checked out someone from the same sex?
    Scott's been checked out several times right in front of me, like *wow*. He must be really hot. I told him if I was a guy I'd be super gay for him, too.

    Ever bit your toenail?
    Scott used to bite his toenails and taught his little girl to do it. I don't care what else gets said about me, I can't imagine stooping to that level. I wish there'd been such a thing as cell phone cameras and facebook back when this was going on, I'd have shopped those out everywhere. #heathens

    Ever slept outside your house?
    We have a word around here, *bugs*. If you've never lived in the woods, you have no clue how many bugs exist on this planet.

    Been to a sleepover?
    Hey, we just had one of those this week! Little kids and school supplies and lots of running around being loud and silly. And now it's all quiet again.

    Peed in your pants WHEN YOU WERE A CHILD, TODDLER?
    Emphasis? Is that really necessary? And is this really worth answering?

    What's your wallpaper?
    I'm always amazed when teens or pre-teens making surveys go from an inane really low IQ question straight to something that involves technology. I can tell this one is burning out. Getting tempting to count and see if there really are 100 questions here, but I'm getting tired of this too and don't care any more.

    11th person on your contact list?
    I usually don't go beyond 5. And I'm usually the one at the top of other people's contact list, I'm so handy in a crisis or a pinch.

    Laptop or desktop?
    Well, as soon as we commit to wireless printing and scanning, I'll say laptop. Which I'm actually on right now. I'm a fence rider.

    Ever asked for money?
    I think I should have been paid for this one, or at least gotten a coupon for a free item at the grocery store. These things take days to fill out.

    Did you enjoy this survey?
    I'm wondering what exactly about this survey means it's girly? Well, ok, there were a number of questions about how catty I could be, I guess. Shame that means girly. We now direct traffic back to Wil Wheaton's bedhead report. You, too, can get this kind of breaking news simply by following his twitter feed, along with other super cool stuff, and this is a cool thing to do now thanx to TheBloggess. Prolly the girliest thing about me in this survey is that I've been getting Wil's twitter feed so long that I know everything the guy does. I don't do this with anyone else on the planet. I mean, how many people refuse to name their pet after Wil Wheaton just so they won't ever have to say Wil Wheaton ate a worm or Wil Wheaton beat up someone's dog or....

    My neighbors are going to be so surprised when Dr. Parrish ninjas out all over them. >=D heh heh

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I've started transferring my survey posts over to Surveypalooza so people coming in from search engines on mobile devices will be able to see the surveys.

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Apologies for the missing vids, another upgrade during the server migration swept through like a scan sweeping through the Enterprise. I'll fix those later, kinda busy...

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