Nerdist

shop till you drop survey

Gonna geek my foodie obsession all over you guys in this one. Run screaming if you are on a diet.

1. What is your favorite way to shop? Online or in the actual store?

I've been known to haunt any kind of shop far and wide that sells ~any~ kind of food, but I'll definitely have it shipped in if I can't find it locally. Got the most wonderful avocados that way. Click the pic to check it out.

I can tell already this survey is going to turn into a book, because I get excited about food history and the movement of food around the globe as goods and services (seriously, 4th grade, I have this textbook, I LOVE social studies, and now I own the huge A History of Food).

I think about food *all* *the* *time*, like when I'm watching Merlin, you think about people way back then not having the food we have nowadays and stuff. Well, apparently some fans got really picky about it and went to great lengths to point out to the show creators that Merlin couldn't have eaten a sandwich or had tomatoes thrown at him in the stocks (from http://merlin-sceneit.livejournal.com/7781.html) to which the creators laughed and said Yeah, well, they didn't have talking dragons back then, either... (commentary in this video)

2. What is your favorite store?

My favorite meat counter is at Harter House, my fave fresh organic vegetables are at MaMa Jean’s Market, my fave place to buy bulk olive oil and butter and other pricey stuff is Sam’s Club, and my fave place to pick up locally produced foods is Heather Hill Farms. Since I'm working on this survey on Cinco de Mayo, here is one of my fave Weird Al fanvids. He's a good one if you like food songs.

3. What store do you buy the most things from?
I love making pretty food that tastes good. One of the neatest tricks I learned was mixing a dash or two of smoked paprika into the breading mix before I bread and fry stuff, along with a dash of garlic powder, a dash of black pepper, and a sprinkling of something herbly like basil, thyme, rosemary, or oregano. Or all of them. Lightly salt the meat or veggies first, then dredge, then fry.

I sometimes think managers cringe because I ask so many questions, like where is the saffron and could they get any in for me, and they're going what the heck is saffron... even though I live in a very ethnically diverse area. It used to be almost impossible to find smoked paprika in SW MO, too, and I know this because I hunted high and low through 15 stores across 3 towns. Well, thanx to the food channels making ethnic cooking more popular and the McCormick® Gourmet Collection making a new display, I can now find saffron in nearly every store I visit, including Walmart.

Now all I have to do is dress up like Nadia G while I cook...

4. What is your favorite thing to shop for?

My fave aisle is the baking stuff, flours and oils and all kinds of stuff for pies and cakes and cookies. Since I'm allergic to everything with nuts and citrus in it, even by association, I have had to learn to make everything from scratch, and I have to say I make the most delicious yellow cake I've ever tasted from a combination of recipes I hunted down on the internet. I've never seen another recipe quite like mine, and Scott has sworn off gourmet cupcake shops over it. One day I'll share it.

Speaking of cake, I was invited to Matthew Willson's 40th birthday party! And so was Ellen Dubin! I know! If we were both going I could hang out with her! But alas, 'tis not to be. Friend Matt on facebook and follow his twitter. Like Ellen's facebook fanpage and follow her twitter. (some of you coming back might notice I changed Ellen's facebook link-here's why)

So Matthew Willson produced and starred in an independent film called Skinning the Cat, and if you want to see him in other stuff here is a demo reel- caution for language and very brief male nudity (not Matthew), so do NOT watch this if you don't like the rough stuff.

5. Do you usually pay with cash, credit, check, or debit?

And which account do I use, while we're at it? I'm notorious for paying with a baggy full of change just so I can clean out the coin bowl. Really going to miss those pennies when they finally revise them out of our monetary exchange system. I'm picky about my tea, too. If I forget that I've got a bag steeping and come back later, I throw it all out and start over. Went through half a box of tea bags one day because I was absorbed in something else I was doing.

Friend of mine on twitter has been in India with a group and told me it doesn't matter how strong it gets there, you just milk and sugar it up and drink it! You can read about her experiences there and follow Sarais_thoughts on Twitter.

6. Are you addicted to shopping?

I kind of am. When I see a really beautiful head of cauliflower it's all I can do not to bring it home. Despite loving cauliflower, I think I throw more of that away than anything because I have way too much to eat. This song could be my cauliflower song if it rhymed with anything.

7. Are you in major debt because of shopping?
We've been through major debt because of medical bills, which I think a lot of people go through sooner or later. No matter how bad stuff gets, stick to someone. Don't go through it alone. Lately one of my fave authors is facing massive medical debt because his son was in an accident. He made the coolest post on his facebook yesterday. If you'd like to keep up with updates you can also follow David Farland on Twitter.



8. How often do you go to the mall?

I used to hit my favorite restaurants there quite a bit, but now that I can't eat anything on the menu without risking a reaction, I hardly ever go any more. I drool over kitchens like this one since I'm in my own kitchen so much.

Charlie Sheen's Winning Recipes from Charlie Sheen

9. What is the last thing you bought?
This actually happened.

And since I was having a slow brain day, I was a nidiot and said no thanx, I don't play video games. ~DERP omg~ Ten seconds later I was going back begging for that key because I know sooooooo many people that DO. And I would have given it to you all right here because I'm that cool. Except now I suck because I was so dumb.

But that has nothing to do with food, you say. And I say I KNOW, so let's go comfort ourselves with some junk food! Here, look, I made another chocolate pie! Well, actually two since the last survey, the one with the pink meringue is me playing around trying to make it look like marshmallow strawberries, and the purple meringue was me playing around with how well I could make shapes. I think eventually I'll be sculpting meringue like a pro.





10. What store was it from?

People are always asking me that about my coffee. We used to drive a couple of states north just to pick up Caribou coffee and a few other things once a year, but they've finally got it down here now at Target and Hy-Vee, thank goodness. Caribou Daybreak is Scott's favorite. My favorite is Ozark Mountain Blend from Churchill Coffee. We mix them half and half for the most perfect coffee we've ever tasted, guess you could say it's our own house blend.



11. Who is your favorite person to shop for?

My youngest is getting a LOT of oohs and ahhs over these baby shoes that came across the pond from Gems-Stones-Studs at Diddy by Design, and she can't wait till her little girl is born and can get pictures made in them.

This is a recipe going around facebook that I think would be precious to try at a baby shower, and super easy to make.

* STRAWBERRY FUDGE**
INGREDIENTS:
1 16 oz can of strawberry frosting
1 12 oz bag of white chocolate chips
2/3 cup chopped pecans
DIRECTIONS:
Lightly spray an 9×9 pan ( or a 9 x 13 pan for thinner bars ) with cooking spray.
Put chocolate chips in microwave safe bowl and melt them,( not letting them burn) You could also use a double boiler.
Stir in entire can of strawberry frosting.
Stir in pecans.
Spread into pan and chill in refrigerator for 30 minutes.
Cut into squares and serve.

12. Would you ever buy clothes at walmart?

I buy whatever I want wherever I see it if I have the money to spend, but since I'm about the least material person I know, that means I have more money available for nice food. I heard about this really rare white honey that comes from only one place in the whole world and had to try it. Volcano Island Honey

13. Do you own a pair of shoes that cost more than 200 dollars?
Not yet. What I'd *like* is to splurge on some more ceramic bakeware. I ~luv~ that stuff. It's heavy like cast iron so it cooks more evenly than metal pans, and so much easier to clean up. I also like those new Orgreenic pans, picked one up, guess we'll see how it works out. So far so good.

14. Do you ever use coupons?

I get all kinds of coupons back from companies I've written to about either what I loved about their products, or problems I had with them. I live near the heart of Tyson Chicken country and know people on several big farms that contract with them raising chickens and turkeys. I have absolutely no quarrel with them, except one year I noticed their frozen cornish hens seemed more feathery than they used to be, and I let them know I was really tired of having to pick out the pins and feathers that had been missed. I got all kinds of free chicken, the more I complained, the more coupons I got. I finally went online and did some research (plus I get World Poultry Magazine), and basically the whole line had been revamped to accommodate the problems live chickens were going through at the top of the line, which led to not only better quality in the meat down the line, but far less suffering overall. So I thought Ok, I can handle a few feathers for that. Since then a new line called Smart Chicken® has moved into most of the stores, and that's usually what I pick up, even though it costs a little more, because the meat is in such good condition, which means the chicken wasn't treated badly getting all bruised up and broken, although, yes, you still get to finish cleaning off a few pin feathers and fuzz. This is kind of a big deal when you make your own chicken stock, but since I very thoroughly inspect and wash my chicken before it goes into the pot, I've never found any of that in my stock.

15. Do you buy most of your clothes on clearence?
There are certain grocery items I ALWAYS check prices on as I shop. I'm not a browser, so I glance around at high speed, most people probably never see me do that. For instance, canned milk- depending where you go and what brand you buy, that stuff is regularly 30 cents higher or lower per 12-oz can, which would be a monumental deal if we were talking gas prices. Every time I save $1 buying store brand canned milk, I can spend that $1 on nicer meat, capiche? If I wait till Christmas season and buy chocolate chips $1 cheaper per bag and stock up enough to make a batch of cookies once a month all year, I've saved $12 dollars. If you guys aren't noticing this insane waste of your money and still complaining about gas prices, you're kinda dumb. I save so much money just noticing when is the right time to buy staples with long shelf lives that I never need coupons. I get real butter at very reasonable prices and throw piles of it into my freezer, and then don't worry about needing it when the price doubles back up. Bacon goes more than half off around bbq season, I buy piles of it and it lasts all year. Stuff like that. We eat really well in this house, and some people think that's a hoity toity way of life, but when you save $50 a month on all your staples, it's easy to spend that $50 at a quality meat counter. And really, this is my kind of gaming. I'm so good at remembering prices between all the stores, it's like hitting that pot and finding a gem in Legend of Zelda when I run into a price drop. I get a little rush. When you find your fave designer coffee going down $1 per a 12-oz bag, it's insane not to grab about 6 or 7 of them, right? Free bag of designer coffee right there. This is what hunting and gathering is all about in the 21st century, people.

16. Have you ever shopped till you dropped?

I have worked in retail till I dropped, literally. I've always been a workaholic, thanx to my upbringing. I grew up labor intensive on a self sustaining Mennonite farm, which probably goes against all child labor laws, but it certainly created a framework for successfully navigating through the rest of my life. I think that's what I like about watching Chopped All Stars, you can tell they're the same way. We love food work. These are my people. The ONLY reason I left restaurant work was because I didn't want to commit 24/7 to management over being with my kids, but if I'd never had any kids, that's exactly where I'd be right now, or most likely would own my own place by now. My very fave celebrity chef (among MANY over the years) is Anne Burrell. I first watched her sous chef for Mario Batali on Iron Chef America, and I haven't missed a single one of her shows since then, especially Worst Cooks in America. I'm a rabid scifi fan, but I bet I've watched more food shows in my life than any other kind of tv show. One of my very favorite shows is Two Fat Ladies, I've seen every episode 3 times and read all the books they've written.

17. Do you ever try things on at the store?

I've been known to crack open a chocolate milk and take a pain pill after physical therapy while I shop for groceries on the way home, yes. There is one store in particular I hit where one of the sackers has known me for years, and she watched me crawl through the nightmare of immobility and motor carts for a couple of years, and now I'm walking around pushing my own cart again. Still difficult to bend into the cart and get my stuff out to put onto the little conveyor (I have doctor ordered weight restrictions on what I can lift), but it's SO nice to be able to do the shopping myself again. Because of all the spinal pain I still go through, I've discovered that eating standing up is actually quite enjoyable. We have this mindset that we must sit to eat, but when we do that, we miss our deeper instincts. Picking through fresh roasted meat while it's still fresh from the oven before I shred or dice it up is heavenly, and moving around between bites (since I'm already conveniently standing up) keeps me from overeating. It's so easy to gain weight as we age, but if you stop sitting down through most of your meals and keep doing chores in between bites, it's very enjoyable to eat without overdoing it.

18. Do you make your husband/boyfriend hold your purse?

Scott's a real man, he doesn't eat quiche. I make a ~fabulous~ quiche. We call it egg pie. He loves egg pie. I would love to get the Spice Agent's take on quiche.

19. Who is your favorite person to go shopping with?

I'd rather be alone! I know that sounds harsh, but I get so distracted when I'm shopping with someone that we laugh ourselves silly and I can't follow my list for beans. That sounds nice, you say, and I say yes it is, until we get home and I'm missing vital ingredients. Does this mean I choose food over friends? I don't know, I've never psyche analyzed that part of myself, but I do know I love cooking FOR friends. I believe in the burrito. From Enjoy Your Burrito-

“Enjoy Your Burrito” has become a catchphrase of sorts for the Nerdist Podcast, closing every episode, but what does it mean? All was revealed in this episode, which posted on October 4, 2010. The burrito thing comes up at about the 56-minute mark, when Jonah discusses living in San Pedro, trying to get his comedy career going, and getting depressed. He talks about going to his favorite burrito place, and being depressed when halfway done with the burrito because it meant he’d have to go back to his depressing job. And that’s when he decided to “believe in the burrito,” enjoying the rest of the burrito right at that moment and worrying about the other stuff later. That story became, in shorthand form, “Enjoy Your Burrito,” which Nerdist fans have adopted as a motto for life.

And since Jonah Ray, Matt Mira, and Chris Hardwick have impacted ~my~ life for the better through that, they can help you, too. (Brief language warning, mostly after 7:45.)

20. Do you choose paper or plastic?
Have you noticed that people using 'green' bags don't always shield the insides of the bags from direct contact with their raw fruits and veg? The reason plastics are such a big hit is because they are an effective barrier against germ spread. I'm all for going green, guys, but if you seem to be having upset stomachs a bit more than you'd like, read this handy guideline about the use and care of green bagging it.

Reusable Grocery Bags: Keep ‘Em Clean While Going Green | FoodSafety.gov

Food safety awareness is key to healthy living. I am acutely aware that my own organically raised chickens may be salmonella carriers because of stuff like this video. Please be aware that 'organic' isn't synonymous with 'germ-free'. Because of this, I keep my hands away from my face as much as possible, wash my hands thoroughly when I come back into the house, and thoroughly cook the eggs my chickens lay. Living a healthy lifestyle with reusable bags and organic foods can still lead to fevers and puking your guts out, so be smart.

This is someone else's chicken.

This is my chickens eating watermelon, yum!

21. Do you use a cart, a basket, or nothing?
I can never not use a cart. I need it to hold my purse and jacket while I look at stuff. I'm mise en place everywhere I go.

22. When you check out is the total always more or less than you thought?

I actually like eating the bones, but I make sure they're crunchy crumbly first.

23. Are you an impulse shopper?

I have never tried making chocolate crepes. And I've kinda been wondering how chocolate pancakes taste, but that seems a bit much. Can you tell I'm in a chocolate mood? Scott likes grape jelly on his pancakes, which I think is weird. Speaking of grape jelly... Scott is one of those guys who walks past flinging blurbs out that he *thinks* is part of a conversation he's already having with me in his head. He's an avid fantasy baseball player juggling multiple teams, so it got a little weird last month when he walked by and asked out of the blue if the Orioles had any grape jelly. I couldn't imagine what in the world was going on in one of his ball teams THIS time, so I was all whaaa?, but then I thought Ok, musta heard him wrong, he meant Oreos because he loves those spring Oreos with the yellow filling, but jelly??? So I had to ask. I usually try to avoid asking, because sometimes it gets ridiculously more complicated than it needs to be, and sure enough, he thought *I* was the crazy one asking about Oreos and grape jelly. I'm sure you birders have already figured out he was thinking about putting an Oriole feeder up. I got this picture a few days ago in between one slurping jelly. It's the only way I could get it on camera at all.

24. Do you always buy the candy that they sell next to the registers?

This is where it comes in real handy being allergic to nuts and peanuts. Nearly all candy near a register has an allergy warning on it. Since I steer clear for that, I never have to worry about calories from impulse candy.

25. If you had to pick one shopping or chocolate which one would you pick?

Shopping for chocolate! I snack on Hershey's milk chocolate chips because there is no nut or peanut allergy warning on them.

Follow your destiny!
100 Girly Questions Survey

I'm not terribly girly, so this one should be a challenge.
Do you wear: alot of makeup, some makeup, no makeup
This really is a big deal to people. And it's an even bigger deal when you eventually have to cave to admitting you're so allergic to just about everything out there that you're *stuck* showing your real face to the world. I've never been one to be vain, and goodness knows I don't have a clue when it comes to self awareness, but I noticed a long time ago in college that I really do get treated better when I wear makeup. The incredible thing is that even without makeup, people tell me my skin is "flawless", that I look far younger than I am, and one women even went into a weird rant against God and the cosmos that at ten years younger she looked like hell and stomped out the door with her cigarettes and alcohol. I dread the inevitable coming up, people finding out how old I am, because we always wind up having weird one-sided conversations that embarrass me to death. But even so, it's actually really true, when I used to be able to wear makeup, particularly eye makeup, I definitely got treated better by all kinds of people. I've never understood that.
Whats your favorite makeup?
This is already making me miss makeup, I miss playing with it. I was real bad about forgetting I had it on at work and didn't realize I'd smear it rubbing my eyes and then handle customers for two hours before I got a break and noticed my makeup was screwed. Took me a few years to figure out the reason my eyes were itching all the time was because I'm allergic to the makeup.
Could you go out in public without make up?
The fun part is thinking you can really slouch at home on a day off, and that's the day you wind up with an airway reaction to 'green' cleaners and you look like s#*t at the clinic. I'm such a ball of nerves any more that I wash my hair first thing just to make sure I'm ready for an emergency.
Do you do your nails oftenly?
I got my nails done for Halloween in a salon one year and wound up with a fungal infection messing up my left thumbnail like a zombie for months, how ironic is that.
What color are your fingernails?
Clean. When you are in nursing school, they point out how icky pretty fingernails are underneath. People rarely wash underneath them or go out of their way to put sanitizer on or underneath pretty nails, but never fail to use those nails to scratch and touch *everything*.
How about your toe nails?
Ingrown toenail surgery is a bigger deal than you'd think. I once saw an x-ray of a guy's foot where infection had gone into the bone, and once that happens, bone starts dissolving real quick. Just a heads up.
Heels or flats?
You don't want me anywhere near heels. I tend to fling myself headlong like a projectile. I've destroyed my ankles on stairs. Not cool doing that holding a small child.
Eyeliner or mascara?
I actually like the whole guyliner thing, but Scott flat refuses to try it.
Lip gloss or lipstick?
A gay friend once told me I have the perfect lips for lipstick and he seemed a little upset that I don't bother wearing any. (I think maybe being allergic to something in lipstick heightens my lip picking.) He had a huge poster of Marilyn Monroe in his bedroom. That is the only time in my life anyone has put me anywhere near some kind of pedestal. I really don't think about my lips very much, I guess. Should I?

Eyelash curler or tweezers
I have a double curse. My eyelashes grow real thick and long (nice, right?) but in crazy directions (sux), and then they get loose and fall out every time my eyelids puff up around pollinating trees (super sux). And I'm too allergic to adhesives to boost up with false eyelashes (uber super sux). Btw, did you know you can get eyebrow toupes? False Eyebrow Purchasing Options I've never tried them. I'm so allergic to adhesives that I can't even tolerate pedia patches with event monitors without getting hives.
Vans or converse?
I guess this is a thing. Vans vs. Converse, the ultimate showdown | The Las Lomas Page Since I live in mid-continent, it doesn't seem to be a thing around here. I could be wrong, but I live in the woods. Extreme sports around here involves compound bows, black powder guns, and off road vehicles.
Nike or adidas?
I picked up these cute Sketchers bikers a couple of years ago.

Myspace or facebook
It took two months of patient wrangling just to get into my myspace enough to try to delete it, and it's still there. I can't get back in. Facebook is very user friendly, I deleted the crap out of my old one and started a new one.
Pink or red?
Blue. blue lips - AOL Image Search Results I once dreamed I had half my face tattooed the way David Lee Roth had his face painted on his Eat 'Em and Smile album.
Black or white
Pink is the new black ~and~ the new white, the new blue in India, the now it's the new purple. I wouldn't be surprised if pink were the new pink.
Rock or pop
With me it's more like a metal or new age thing, depending on my mood.
What color are your socks
See my sox.
What color is your bra?
I want to get a red one.
Are you wearing skinny jeans?
I love flared legs. I have this thing. It was practically fashionable in the 70's to get your jeans caught in your bike chain.
You think you set or follow trends?
I wait until they go back outa fashion and then cannonball in and splash everyone. I'm very annoying like that.
Have you ever done something just to fit in?
I've never fit in with anyone in my life, even when I tried. Once in awhile a group builds up and follows me around like Buckaroo Banzai during the ending credits, but I tend to attract fringe people that other people like to bomb and then they start wars in my comments and then I kinda freak out about being pushed to be the rebel leader by people going through breakdowns of some kind. You all are on your own if you start fighting. I don't take sides any more.
Do you go to the mall oftenly?
I drive past it a lot. They've got cool stuff in there, but if they can't accommodate me at 7 a.m., see ya.
Do you have many friends?
They're afraid to admit it right now. I had a very typical aspie meltdown one year and obliterated my sites, and I'm blown away that even after all that, they still regularly traffic through every week checking on me, even during the whole year and a half I had nothing on it. *snif* I mean, that gets you ~right here~. But yeah, it's really impressive, I have some really really good friends out there all over the place, and I love you guys.
Do you dislike any of your friends?
No. I actually like all of them. It's my own personality that gets in the way.
Whats your BESTEST friend's ever name?
Scott, always gonna be Scott.
Have you ever had a down moment with that person?
Oh, heck yeah. Two whole years all we could say to each other was we want a divorce. 19 years married on August 5th. If you can't figure out how to be best buds with someone by the time you get old, you wind up going through a bunch of hard crap all by yourself, and that sux. I'd rather have a friend around. We laugh a *lot*.
Most memorable moment with that person?
Cupcake. You had to be there. aspie lovin'
Who was your most recent missed call from?
Let's see, that was 23 days ago. That's not so much an indicator that I'm johnny-on-the-spot answering my phone, but that everyone I know is so used to me not liking to use the phone that they rarely call. They are well trained.
Who was the last person you called?
My dad. You all need to call your dads. Don't give me junk about how they this or that, or you don't have time, or whatever, just call. You'll find out how much I took from my dad when the book comes out.
What does your 5th message in your inbox say?
Scott was laughing that he accidentally texted a pic of his leprosy to the wrong number and how they must've wtf'd.

Don't worry, it's old scarring from an e.coli infection from when he let his legs hang in the river during a canoe trip, and now that he's older he really has to watch easy internal bleeding under the scarring because his skin integrity is so shot. (edit several days later- ok, it's actually pretty scary and we're going into the doctor every day and they're running every test they can think of ruling out everything they can, because they think it's gone autoimmune).

Who was it from?
I like making up cool Wabble game names to intrigue people and then putting on crazy unrelated passwords so no one can get in except my secret pals. Random trivia during redundant questioning.
Single or taken?
I have to drink a lot of chocolate milk today. I bought some because my niece and nephew spent the night this week, and no one drank any, and now it's sitting there with an expiration date. I'm clocking out doses of chocolate milk now because I'm diabetic. I can have one cup every two hours without spiking as long as I don't have any other carbs today. Getting a lot of dairy protein and calcium! And chocolate. I'll have to watch that, my heart wants to race when I have too much. I heard dogs die of heart attacks when they eat chocolate. I have no idea if this is true. I know I've wound up in the ER a couple times after going a little crazy on hot chocolate. Likewise, I have to be careful with coffee and tea, as well.
If so, by who?
In other random babbling, I'm so happy that Nerdist got picked up for tv on BBCA that I twitterpated all over my dvr this last weekend.
What color are your eyes
Well, to me they look like a weird yellow brown, but most people just say I have brown eyes. I get kinda freaked out looking at eyes for any real length of time, even in the mirror, and after avoiding this question on I don't know how many surveys, I thought What the heck, what color ARE my eyes? Well, I spent nearly an hour doing a whole study, using my cell phone and computer. The light in the kitchen makes my eye look yellower, the light in my bathroom makes it look browner, and I had all kinds of fun zooming and pixelating.

Scott had to go look at his eyes in the mirror after I showed him this.
Whats your favorite color?
I get the biggest kick out of this one.
What song are you listening to right now?
I keep preempting the questions, don't I?
Do you like to dance?
The funnest dancing I ever did was 'showtimes' at a nice 50'/60's lounge with a long food bar that I cooked for and assembled. I got to wear suspenders with awesome pins all up and down them and a cool driver's cap and a bartender armband, and we'd get on top of the bars or out on the dance floor and do dance routines to certain songs that came up every 15 or 20 minutes.
Do you like to sing?
I love to sing, spent 10 years in choir classes all through public school so I could go on field trips and get in plays and stuff, and then I got into a church choir so I could be on tv one year, which was fun.
Do you believe in
What, dangling sentences? I follow the Ancient Alien guy on Twitter, he gets into the most hilarious fights with people about beliefs.
Do you believe in love at first sight?
That's usually what happens with food.

How about true love
True love is a lie when you come up super allergic to citrus and have to give up lemon pie forever.
Do you believe in bros before hoes?
Are you a whore?
I tried that with Scott a few times, he doesn't seduce easily. Too nerdy, too suspicious, too messed over by other women in his past.
Are most of your friends guys or girls?
I've never tallied. I was surprised to find out at MegaCon one year how many webmasters will slyly sidle up and very quietly introduce themselves because they fear being outed and shredded by rival web gangs, and one in particular that I'd admired from afar turned out to be a really cool guy instead of the really cool slightly insinuated lezbi girl, which I guess is a good way to hide from the public if you fear wrath somewhere, just pass the hot potato on or something and rarely speak up on boards kind of thing. I never learned that, I got stoned a lot. The bad kind. Web rocks hurt just as bad as real rocks, and when you have a compulsion to pop back up and nyahnyah to draw fire, yeah, lotta rocks. Where was I? Oh, yeah, it was a great time, really stirred up the fans, had a blast being shot at, and now I think it's just all too funny. What the heck, frenemies, friends, it's all good.
Favorite candy?
I've kinda been cheating on the Doctor and Connor Temple and started hanging out with these guys.
Favorite ice cream flavor?
I no can haz. wah.
Ever cried yourself to sleep?
That's a good way to drown in your own snot, and no, I can't even imagine being able to sleep after I've cried that hard, am I right? Not intending to make fun of anyone crying, because it sux. When you can cry for several hours till your throat hurts real bad and your head hurts and you feel too sick to eat, your life is sucking so bad that you couldn't go to sleep in the first place.
Ever slept on your computer?
I once slept on my phone and came unglued like a cat when it started ringing. I know people who can't sleep without their phones on all the time because they're so hooked into needing live broadcasts to survive, THAT would strip my sanity and leave me curled up in a gutter. I would look like John Bigbooty in the asylum.
Longest you've used your computer?
Years. We had one that completely crashed twice and limped along like a cripple on staticky dial up, and I was building a huge website I couldn't even pull up to see properly, just had to go on the layout I could see in my head. I'll never forget the first time I saw the whole thing pull up all at once while I was goofing off in a medical terminology computer classroom, I nearly wept it was so beautiful, like a glossy interactive fan magazine. I have dreams of building awesome 3D holographic sites in a futuristic world where computer coding is alive in a pandimensional field and touch screens are a joke. I wake up sad sometimes. Then I get some coffee and get more ideas and get busy again.
Whose your #1 top?
Me. Weird Al said it best, I can be my own best friend and I can send myself for pizza.
Why?
Because when all the chips are down, if you can't count on yourself to save your own life, who CAN you count on? And can other people count on you? I am the Bruce Willis of the whole believing in one's self angle.
Favorite smiley?
>=)
Are you addicted to something?
Youtube. I like salvaging broken fan vids that stop playing right or aren't embeddable. I collect youtubes like some people collect ball cards, action figures, and hot wheels.
Do you consider yourself a myspace freak?
I geeked out over there for awhile making Willy Wonka and other stuff, it was fun. Got really sick of Tom. Did you know there's a way to rewrite youtube codes? I totally had it down.
Do you edit your profile oftenly?
I was really surprised to find out I still have one here when I came back from my internet vacation. I'd forgotten I filled that out.
Rock or pop?
Seriously? Duplicate questioning? Maybe my answer wasn't acceptable. Um, I also kinda like electronic dance music like iiO. What genre is Eiffel 65? They're like several things all squashed together and sorta slightly grunged or something.
Have you ever been in a fist fight?
I grew up having to face down farm animals 10 times my weight. I scared a couple of guys half to death one time when they started tickling me at a party and I had them both down in an eyeblink because tickling someone with Asperger's is always a huge mistake, one's chest was bleeding and the other's shirt was ripped, and I don't remember how.
Do you want to?
Adamantly, no. I don't understand people trying to goad me into fighting. I come from 400 years of Mennonites. People think that means wimp, but we're pretty good at killing things.
Have you ever thought about having sex?
This was an abrupt pivot.
Have you ever babysat, if so, who?
I have too many bad memories of how my mom used to send me to friends' houses and I'd be stuck with monstrous brats for hours, over and over and over. You know what? You had 'em, you sit with 'em. I raised my own, I didn't farm them out while I pursued a career or went back to college. If I couldn't find a way to do that and still be there for my kids, I didn't do it, and I still managed to get a degree and hold a job. Part of that commitment was that I loved my kids and didn't trust anyone, so it all worked out. Not crazy about hearing other people's sob stories about their kid going to jail or getting pregnant or being a drunk or dropping out of school or whatever when you know the kids got stuck with babysitters and/or raising themselves.
Have you ever waited soo long for something you wanted to happen so bad?
This is why I get up so early and get my shopping and traveling and whatever else done, because the lines get ridiculous later.
Are you content with your life?
Yep. Facing a future dismally bemoaning my lot in life seems like too much of a drag.
Who is your role model?
I'm clearly developing some baditude and getting cranky with some of these last couple of questions, so let's see, lately it's the Hillywood Show, who I have watched grow up on youtube. They recently got a big public promo for their own music video, very cool.
Whats your best feature?
I keep forgetting this is supposed to be a girly survey. I had to go ask Scott what my best feature is because I don't know how to gauge these things. He said I've got pretty eyes. But he also likes werewolves and vampires and zombies, so I guess the yellow part I think I see in my eyes is becoming.
Your worst feature?
Scott's got a fever and is on antibiotic right now, so I'm not sure asking him this one really counts. He's never been the sort to call me names or talk down to me, so it's anyone's guess. If I had to complain about one particular thing that is wonky about me, I'd say I'm not entirely thrilled with the way my ears seem to be getting bigger as I get older. I once saw a picture of a 100 year old woman whose ears had spread out like pancakes on the sides of her head, and I cringe to think someday I could have really big ears. They've been so tiny most of my life.
Are you racist?
Completely. I really loathe spiders and all their kind.
Are you a sexist?
The whole neighborhood is sexist, I'm not allowed to keep a rooster around the place, although I am stubbornly defying them.
Do you discriminate?
Heck yeah, every time I see someone hanging around the front of a store with flyers in their hand I tell them don't talk to me. Actually, I have to do that because once I stop to talk, I tend to out-argue just for the game of it, and Scott has to get my arm and drag me off talking.
Are you ashamed of talking to someone or being seen talking to someone who isnt as popular as you?
I have a facial recognition problem, half the time I don't know who the heck I'm talking to even if I've seen them before. Keeping track of popularity seems more laborious than keeping track of family birthdays, so I just avoid everyone in general.
Do you talk shit?
I can go from totally silent for 3 hours to TMI without warning, so don't ask me about anything personal unless you wanna be grossed out. As for gossip, no, I don't care to do that. I'm usually disappointed in people who succumb to that.
Have you ever talked shit?
I tend to point out the obvious, the conflicts of interest, and incongruencies. People don't like me getting interested enough to open my mouth because I enjoy pointing out the flaws in the person talking the shit.
Do you care about what other people think about you?
No, seriously I don't. I don't have the craving to be loved all the time.
Have you ever not been yourself to impress someone?
I think the only way I impress people is just being myself and not having a clue.
Have you ever done yourself VERY pretty with so much makeup and a whole different outfit to make a guy like you?
I'm not sure that's what guys like. I've done that to make other girls uncomfortable, though. They get so territorial, it's like putting the biggest mask on makes you the winner.
Have you ever betrayed someone?
I've heard other people go on about being betrayed, and I've never gotten what the deal is. Betrayal implies you're holding secret cards that can get you outed in some way, so if someone rats you out and you can't trust them, that only means you smile and keep playing along and then push them out of the car in traffic. Metaphorically. I've never done that, but I know people who really do that.
Water or soda?
Never soda. Have you wondered where all that carbon dioxide goes once you ingest it? Your body doesn't use it, it has to get rid of it. You don't burp it all out, so your body has to find other ways to get it out by dissolving it in the your bloodstream, which overloads you on carbon dioxide. Ok, technically this has never been proven, but it's a working hypothesis I have about why I feel better when I don't drink pop of any kind. Or it could be this. Flame retardant chemical found in US soft drinks
Coke or pepsi?
I avoid all pop like the plague anyway because they generally list 'natural flavors' in their ingredients. I'm very allergic to lemon and reactive to all other citrus, and lemon is a natural flavor that is used to boost all kinds of bottled and canned foods. You wouldn't believe how often you ingest lemon around the clock.
Look behind you, whats behind you?
You've no idea how much this question creeped me out. I mean, what if I'd turned around and there had been a spider peeking at me from behind that bale of straw?

Have you ever been rejected or dumped?
Someone was killed in the process. It'll get creepy in the book.
Have you ever thought about how school would be like if someone didnt go there?
Especially if the mom is the coach of the girls volleyball team her daughter is on, and she never gets benched no matter how bad she plays. And she's on the school board...
Do you hate anyone?
I'm not really into hating. It's a waste of time and energy I could be doing something else with.
Do you love anyone?
I love these horses. They're French.

Have you ever gotten drunk?
ER cocktails are a surprise.
Would you pass a drug test?
Epic winning. I'm the only person I know who has managed to come off 25 years of medically sanctioned benzodiazapine addiction without replacing it with other meds. They laugh at me because it was always low dose, but hey, my GABA receptors were ~wrecked~ and the taper took two years. That whole bug crawling and biting sensation thing is *real*. I've heard from several people that benzo withdrawal sux as bad as heroin withdrawal.
Whats your locker number?
I still have stress dreams about forgetting locker combinations and finding out I'm still in college and failing all my classes and a huge paper is due in one hour and stuff like that. Missing the bus. I'm so scarred.
Do you have good hygine?
Ok, I can't take this anymore. Ask me if I can SPELL. omg. My hygiene is fine, thank you. I've been fixing some of the questions, but I'm done with that.
Have you ever danced infront of the mirror?
Never. I use mirrors for important things, like seeing if there is a bug on me somewhere.
Ever checked out someone from the same sex?
Scott's been checked out several times right in front of me, like *wow*. He must be really hot. I told him if I was a guy I'd be super gay for him, too.
Ever bit your toenail?
Scott used to bite his toenails and taught his little girl to do it. I don't care what else gets said about me, I can't imagine stooping to that level. I wish there'd been such a thing as cell phone cameras and facebook back when this was going on, I'd have shopped those out everywhere. #heathens
Ever slept outside your house?
We have a word around here, *bugs*. If you've never lived in the woods, you have no clue how many bugs exist on this planet.
Been to a sleepover?
Hey, we just had one of those this week! Little kids and school supplies and lots of running around being loud and silly. And now it's all quiet again.
Peed in your pants WHEN YOU WERE A CHILD, TODDLER?
Emphasis? Is that really necessary? And is this really worth answering?
What's your wallpaper?
I'm always amazed when teens or pre-teens making surveys go from an inane really low IQ question straight to something that involves technology. I can tell this one is burning out. Getting tempting to count and see if there really are 100 questions here, but I'm getting tired of this too and don't care any more.
11th person on your contact list?
I usually don't go beyond 5. And I'm usually the one at the top of other people's contact list, I'm so handy in a crisis or a pinch.
Laptop or desktop?
Well, as soon as we commit to wireless printing and scanning, I'll say laptop. Which I'm actually on right now. I'm a fence rider.
Ever asked for money?
I think I should have been paid for this one, or at least gotten a coupon for a free item at the grocery store. These things take days to fill out.
Did you enjoy this survey?
I'm wondering what exactly about this survey means it's girly? Well, ok, there were a number of questions about how catty I could be, I guess. Shame that means girly. We now direct traffic back to Wil Wheaton's bedhead report. You, too, can get this kind of breaking news simply by following his twitter feed, along with other super cool stuff, and this is a cool thing to do now thanx to TheBloggess. Prolly the girliest thing about me in this survey is that I've been getting Wil's twitter feed so long that I know everything the guy does. I don't do this with anyone else on the planet. I mean, how many people refuse to name their pet after Wil Wheaton just so they won't ever have to say Wil Wheaton ate a worm or Wil Wheaton beat up someone's dog or....
My neighbors are going to be so surprised when Dr. Parrish ninjas out all over them. >=D heh heh
Freaking Awesome Survey

(Who names these things???)
Favorite crayon color?
We made the coolest projects with wax paper and an iron when I was a kid, shave the crayons down and melt it into something artsy, like a take-off on stained glass. Well, that fond memory was quickly replaced with memories of the icky smell of hot wax paper and getting my fingers singed, and then the whole thing not looking cool at all. Um, this is freaking awesome already...
Should waffles be the National Food of America?
Didn't Belgium already nab those as a national food? I thought our national food was Taco Bell, or Sonic, or something like that. Chili cheese coneys would be a freaking awesome national food.
Do dog barks make you cry?
They kinda make me insane. Oh, wait- they kinda make me freaking awesome insane.
What are your thoughts about mac and cheese?
I have wondered for a long time why they don't sell little packets of that dried cheese as snack packets, because who doesn't like to stick their finger in there and lick it off? That would be freaking ok ok that's old already, I know.
Who is your favorite Sesame Street character?
Gonzo is cool because he loves chickens, but I'm more a Rob and Nicky fan now. I swear, I did not mean the double entendre on this sentence. Click on Gonzo and Lolita to see how he became enamored of Camilla...
Ever talked to yourself?
I talk to stuff around the house once in awhile, yeah. I'm not talking to *myself*. I think a number of people would feel relieved to know that I'm more apt to talk to appliances and inanimate objects in my old age than I am to talk the ears off the younger people, to their great suffering. And since I've lived through this myself during the zombie apocalypse, that's saying a great deal.
How many points do you have right at the moment?
I used to keep sticker charts, but after getting days and/or weeks mixed up and finding little stickers in my hair, I toned it down a bit. But the star chart for the timed multiplication tests in third grade was freaking awesome, and yes, that really belongs here this time, even though I could never beat Jaynette Foutz and I would have rather had blue stars than silver. That's right, I was jealous of the person who was just barely slower than me.
What mood are you in right now?
I'm good, I just had a hot chocolate with a scoop of protein powder, with prebiotics in them. Those are all the rage now in chicken farming, btw. Prebiotics in Companion and Livestock Animal Nutrition
Is your cell phone dead?
(I skipped a bunch of questions and wrote this one around two weeks ago.) I think my brain is dead. My father-in-law is visiting and has spent the last 3 days talking nonstop. He's over 80. Hours and hours and hours of talking, days and days of talking. I thought old people were supposed to go down for naps.
Can peas really talk?
I think the freaking awesome in this survey is taking a long, steep slide down a freaking bored teenage brain.
When was the last time you applied deoderant?
...who doesn't know how to spell deodorant. And probably obsesses about his or her armpits. Or everyone's armpits. My youngest is so obsessed with her armpits that she'll rub anything in them to change the imaginary odor she smells, even if all she can find is rubbing alcohol or lotion.
Ever eaten soap?
Have you ever gotten shampoo in your eyes and noticed suddenly you can taste it? Kinda like when you get a little saline in an IV line and you can suddenly smell it the second it goes in.
There is no thirteen question, feel free to say what you would like.
Wo, we're counting??? I had to go back and count. I've done so many surveys where actual numbers got completely missed, I found it hard to believe this unnumbered question would be correctly labeled at 'thirteen'. So while I'm feeling free to say what I like, I bet you are wondering who my favorite floor reporter was at Comic-Con this year, so I'll tell you it was Matt Mira. I know, I know, after watching 7 hours of live Comic Con between Spike and G4 and catching hours and hours via twitter feeds on the side, you'd *think* I'd have a whole slew of other guys to schmooze over, like, oh, I dunno, JOHN BARROWMAN, but seriously, I think Matt is a cutie. I follow him on Twitter, he's the bomb. No, wait, I said that wrong. Matt Mira is *freaking* *awesome*. Click on Matt to see some of what he does. I followed the Atlantis thing live, and I got all tingly. Mighta been Matt being cute in the rain, mighta been that it was the last ever shuttle launch, but I'll always have that day.

And THIS is why I love twitter. Answers in real time from real people who really know!!! I checked my twitter feed about a half hour after I posted this survey, and wham, live info for you. If you read this before Attack of the Show comes on Monday evening...

Do you like fifteen question surveys?
This one would be totally freaking awesome sucking if it weren't for my freaking awesome answers, actually.
What are your thoughts on Spongebob Squarepants?
He completes me. You know how people can be Jekyll and Hyde-ish? Imagine Mr. Spock and Spongebob in the same head. If I'm ever locked away in solitary confinement, I'll walk out with the same amount of sanity I walked in with. Don't try to figure that out, it's like a mobius strip, you really don't get anywhere.
- 4:36 pm
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bluejacky

I've started transferring my survey posts over to Surveypalooza so people coming in from search engines on mobile devices will be able to see the surveys.

Apologies for the missing vids, another upgrade during the server migration swept through like a scan sweeping through the Enterprise. I'll fix those later, kinda busy...