survey

I Try To Excercise My Demons, But They've Gotten Out Of Shape. -survey

from Bzoink - I Try To Excercise My Demons, But They've Gotten Out Of Shape.-survey

How often do you take painkillers?

Almost never. I am the T800 of the pain world. Too many med allergies and adverse reactions.

Are they prescribed?

Yep, but I can't do meds, I just deal. You know, like fantasize about poking blunt wire coat hangars into my spine for homemade acupuncture. I don't really do it, that would actually hurt more. I think the visual bullies my nervous system into submission so I won't faint or throw myself over the railing.

Do you curse in average conversations?

'Cursing' loses so much of its value if you use it in average conversations. I shock people silly because I do it so rarely, they really pay attention. And isn't that how words are supposed to be, powerful and meaningful?

Do you own any leather?

Leather is cooler when it's worked by real Native American women through a special program enabling them to make some money. Southwest Indian Foundation - Navajo, Zuni, and other native crafts...

Do you party because you like it or because you're supposed to?

I party because there's food.

Who's the person you think about when you're lying awake?

Sometimes I think about how nice it would be to get up and eat a cookie.

Have you ever bought a shot glass?

Those are so cute. I tried starting a collection, but I suck at collecting. I once got one from Jackass, Colorado, but things have changed so much that I don't know if that would be at Cripple Creek now, or if there is a place by Jackass Canyon, and whether that is near Jackass Hill Park (in Arapahoe County, CO). I just remember 30 years ago they were trying to save an old ghost town and selling stuff out of what used to be a real saloon, and my friend from the army base was taking me all over sight seeing. She is part Indian and really into cool stuff like that.

Do you have a therapist?

Ha, I have more than one.

Have you ever wanted to be a superhero?

I'd rather be one of the Mystery Men.

Do you like menthol cigarettes? Those are no substitute for toothpaste. And no, when I did smoke heavily (Camel Lights, for trivia enthusiasts) and ran out one day, I bummed a menthol off someone and like to died. Those so suck. But that was around 25 years ago. I stopped smoking after I worked for a 40 year old chain smoker who looked 60. I'm 50 now and look 40. If that's not incentive to quit, I don't know what is. If you're still too young to take that seriously, I was in my mid-20's when I quit. You don't get your young skin back, no matter what smokers believe about their lungs miraculously healing the second you stop smoking, and that's why they put off quitting till later.
Do you ever fall for spam mail? My dad still falls for spam phone calls, you know, the kind where you get an automated message that says call this 900 number, so he does, because he wants answers, he wants to know who is bugging him all day long with these calls, he wants to talk to a real person. We've gone in circles getting him onto a no call list and instructing him NOT TO CALL ANYONE BACK that he doesn't know (especially explaining how you get charged extra for calling 900 numbers), and seriously, whoever came up with the idea to scam old people like that is a genius, because it sure does work. And how about this one? Elderly St. Louis widow racks up $14,000 in magazine subscriptions \| KMOV.com
Ever used an online dating site? I would have to explain how violent I get without warning because I'm super ticklish... I'm sure I'd wind up in jail, because what guy wouldn't see that as a challenge? Thankfully, a mutual friend hooked me up with Scott, I accepted that as a good decision because I suck at that kind of stuff, and next year will be our 20th. I can't even imagine trusting a dating site. What if I actually got someone romantic and gooey? What would I do??? I couldn't be cool on a date if I tried. The first time Scott and I went out I accidentally (as opposed to on purpose...) flipped a steak knife through the air and just missed an old lady at the next table, and the knife was actually sticking up out of the floor. I can't see that being a plus as a description for online dating. They'd have a cautionary disclaimer up on me. Scott wasn't deterred because I had my blouse unbuttoned a little bit further than I normally wear. I guess that really works, huh? That or he thought my knife throwing was sexy.
What color do you wear the most? Black. This is kind of surprising for people who know that I love Lisa Frank and Weird Al.
Do you only eat cough drops because you like the taste? I finally discovered all the croup was coming from food reactions. When they finally exploded into full blown wheezy allergic reactions and I stopped eating those foods, I was able to stop sucking on cough drops. If you're tired of sucking on cough drops and using inhalers, try a rotation diet and see if that gives you some relief. I couldn't believe what a huge change that was for me.
Have you ever gotten a good grade in math class? No one ever asks if I got in trouble in home ec. Which I did. A lot.
Do you have a tumblr account? Tumblr is like a bomb going off in the fan world, it's like board surfing a runaway freight train down a steep mountain pass. It's ~fun~. Yeah, I know, I've whined about tumblr in the past... I still do. My nvidia card goes beserk and blacks out sometimes when I load tumblr. Nothing else I do ever causes that. The Geek Squad told me my laptop is fine. Bad tumblr! But it's still ~fun~.
Have you ever seen a ghost? It's really super creepy walking by a doorway in an empty church you're cleaning and seeing the back of someone's head over an office chair, and then when you turn back to talk to them, there is no one there.
Insomniac? The worst one you ~ever~ met. And meds give me nightmares that make horror films look like Care Bears. I'd rather just not sleep.
What do you think of the last person you texted? She's one of my top 5 fave people in the whole world. My list only goes up to 5. Everyone else is not on any kind of list.
Have your parents ever walked in on you having sex? I feel I must issue a cautionary warning in case some of you who know me might feel a little stunned that I'd actually say this. I grew up with spontaneous orgasms and neuro stim compulsions, I think just about everyone caught me having sex of some kind until I hit the 3rd grade and figured out the whole privacy thing. (Kindergarten and first grade were nightmares.) Whoever just fell outa your chair, it's a brain thing, I have asperger's and weird stuff going on with my nervous system core, I'm not a nymph, and in fact quite asexual toward other people. I know, it's weird, get used to it, and don't bug me about it. I won't be answering any messages that come through full of questions about this one.
Have you ever lied about being a virgin? True story. I was actually a virgin months after I got married because my first husband turned out to be a pedophile and wasn't doing it right, and I didn't know the difference. My first gyno doc pulled him aside and asked him if he knew what he was doing...
Are Australian accents attractive? Any kind of accent is cool.
Do you like getting stoned? I absolutely hate it. My brain claws its way out of my skull in full blown panic attacks any time I've been given anything to calm me down, legal or not. The adverse reactions I have are akin to hysteria. I'm more fun with a teeny tiny buzz, you know, like half an aspirin and a cup of milked down coffee.
Have you ever gotten a bloody nose from snorting cocaine? I got a bean caught in my nose when I was little.
Have you ever smoked cocaine? Not to my knowledge, and they all swear it was only a joint, so basically I was high as a kite for 12 hours off of two puffs. If everyone's heads were as twisted as mine gets on meds and drugs, you'd all be wary of ever doing more. I can only imagine that an acid trip would prolly have been like turning the Joker loose on Gotham City, good thing I never tried it.
Do you own a full set of colored pencils? I have, and pens, and crayons, and paints, and embroidery threads, and confectionary decorations, and colored papers, and footies.... I am wildly attracted to color palettes, color studies, colors. That's probably where all my sex drive got shunted over to in my synesthesia, colors and patterns and textures.
Who's the most attractive female you've ever seen? I really like S.E. Cupp. It's probably her glasses. They're like power frames. I watch Real News on the Blaze just to watch her talk.
Have you ever seriously questioned your sexuality? I've always known exactly who I am. What I have seriously questioned are people who don't have a clue who they are and still try to tell me who I am.
Red, white, yellow, or pink roses? I grew up with yellow roses in the yard, so I love seeing yellow roses. But I love roses regardless, and I like champagne roses in a bouquet. What's really super cool is yellow and orange frosting roses on a chocolate autumn decorated cake. I could really run away with this question. My birthday is next week, how much you wanna bet I make a chocolate cake now with orange and red and yellow autumn decorations.
What's the worst name your mom has ever called you? It's so mean and stupid that I'm not ever going to repeat it. And it's not at all anything you could possibly think it might be.
Do you think someone would ever want to marry you? I couldn't believe Scott wanted to, but here we still are.
Do you know who Jim Morrison is? The word 'hedonist' popped into my head as soon as I read that. Ethical hedonism is kind of the thing now, wonder how Jim would have done with the emo crowd. Prolly about the same. I can see him becoming a Cthulhu activist (like Conceptual Coma Activism, as it were, perhaps...?) (My free associating is kicking in, I must be getting tired enough to try sleeping.)
Have you ever done acid? No one wants me to ever do acid. I'm sure I'd wind up in prison.
Were you at a rave? I get migraines, I can't do the whole light strobing psychelectro music thing without having to kill someone.
Can you usually tell when someone's lying? I assume everyone is.
Have you ever made a mistake just so you could feel miserable? Recrimination is not my strong point. I suck at baiting myself psychologically. People who feed off their own emotions like a drug mystify me. I'm terribly Vulcan in that regard.
Do you like Thanksgiving? I love it when I get to stay in my pajamas and watch the parade and drink hot chocolate while everyone else is in a different house chaotically bumping out a gigantic dinner, and then I get to eat stuffed cornish hens and watch something cool from all the nerdy programming that comes on during holidays while other people in another house do a mountain of dishes and drag out a Christmas tree, and then I snack my way through evening football while other people hang around in a different house planning their chaotic Black Friday shopping frenzies. I've tried being more interactive, honestly I have, but I can't help dreading Thanksgiving because I go into aspie overload.
How about Christmas? I've been so sharply disillusioned that I simple can't reconcile the driving madness of consumer spending with the 'reason for the season'. My fave ever Christmas movie is A Very Sunny Christmas. To be fair, though, I was the Christmas kid growing up, and I worked in Kringles Christmas Store one year. I can't believe they don't have the train shop listed, #4 on the map. I started out in there.
Do you believe in soul mates? I ran into a quote somewhere about how interesting it is that most people find their "soul mates" within so many short miles of their homes. I don't have a soul mate. I've never yet run into anyone who clicks with me like that. Cosmic irony would dictate that most of us either have generic 'soul mate' slots, or that our one, true soul mate is on the other side of the planet and born 60 years too early or too late. You know, the next time someone asks me what my religion is, I think I'll say "Cosmic Irony", because that seems to answer to just about everything I go through in this life. The faith required is skepticism. I'm really good at that. If I do have a soul mate, that person is in another galaxy about eight and a half billion years before or after my time.
Do you post pictures where you look good but your friends look bad? I guess the first mistake is thinking I have friends, and the second is thinking I give a crap how I look.
Are you friends with any of your exes? I guess the first mistake is thinking my exes are normal sane people, and the second is thinking that I don't wish they were dead.
Have you ever thought you were drowning? I nearly did once, and it's not like you think. Arguing with a little brat to let me put my hand on his float device out in 30 feet of lake water before I could pass out was priceless. It was more like he pissily pulled me back to shore so he could go tell his parents on me while I lay on the rocks and broken glass in spasms trying to breathe. Took awhile before I could get up. I owe that kid my life.
What's the most embarrassing artist you have on your ipod? I have yet to get an ipod. I can't imagine putting someone I think is embarrassing into my music collection. It would surely contain, however, everything Weird Al Yankovic has ever put out.
Would you ever wait for someone for more than ten years? My sister did that. She has two kids now, and they're really cute and super smart. I'd call that worth it. I made Scott wait 3 years to marry me so I'd know he'd really stick around.
Do you know someone in the army? Several people, and a few in the Marines. I'm not really supposed to tell you if they've been in black ops.
Do gay people make you uncomfortable? The only thing that makes me uncomfortable is when people (of any orientation) think it's their business to get all up in my business.
Do straight people make you uncomfortable? True story. I divorced a pedophile, so I was a single mom with his kid. I went to a ladies bible class and those gabbers sat around discussing whether or not it was 'legal' for me to remarry (I was sitting right there), as if nothing I'd been through carried any weighty importance in the matter. ANY person who does KIDS is CHEATING on their spouse. Get it? Could that be any more stupid than debating it if I'd divorced a rapist? To even reduce these things to whether or not it's 'adultery' by definition and then discuss them like I'm the one who'd better be careful about getting the scarlet letter is the stupidest most nidiotically calloused thing I've ever been through in a church setting. I never went back to that ladies bible class. I don't think God invented humans to be tiny minded.
Do you ever wear colored eye liner? I'm so allergic that my eyes actually lean out over my lids and power hose it all off 20 minutes after I've applied it. My only recourse is to tattoo makeup on, but after a nasty bout of Bell's Palsy, I'm SO glad I never did that. There's nothing stupider than half your face not matching the other half in permanent makeup. Fortunately it's mostly all healed, but that would have been 4 months of mortifying hell, wouldn't it?
Target or Walmart? Target carries Caribou coffee. Walmart carries everything else.
Have you ever used crest white strips? Did they work? Actually, I think it would be more interesting to color my teeth and have jewels and gold filigree set into them. Dental Jewelry Tooth Diamond Online Purchase from Twinkles twinkles.net

Who's the last person you made a mix cd for? This question is so ten years ago. I'm the only person I know who still actually uses a real cd player.
Did you ever have a thing for any of your teachers? Yeah, I loathed them.
Do you exercise every day? My brain has a 12-pack. But yes, actually, I do exercise, thanks to Chris Hardwick.
Have you ever used a darkroom? I would love to live on a planet whose daylight never got more intense than full solar eclipse level. Sunlight winking off waves of water and tree leaves is beautiful, but my worst headache days are high photon days. If you see me in dark glasses, it's not because I'm wasted or beaten up. And yes, I know what a darkroom is. I had special instructions on when and how to clean around them in a hospital. I'm really curious how the survey creator wouldn't know that darkroom is all one word, since it seems like a question one would ask only if one were familiar with using one. I fixed it for you. You're welcome.
How many hours of sleep did you get last night? About 4. It was a decent night.
Have you ditched any classes today? I keep forgetting about my account at Fanpop.
What does the word 'Candy' mean to you? I love these guys.

Have you ever listened to Christian music? This is an interesting question in the exercising demons survey... I love the word play in that title, by the way, best survey title I've ever run into. You get a 'good job!' sticker.
Are you the 'creative child'? I am the Elephant's Child. I ask ever so many questions.
Would you ever dye your hair pink? I'm trying to grow it out so I can. And blue, and purple...
Do you have a dirty mind? I apparently have such a clean mind that even when you explain the joke to me, it takes me two days to get it. Actually, I'm like that with all kinds of jokes.
Do you ever masturbate? I'm surprised this question is reduced to a simple yes or no type question.
Are you embarrassed about your sex life or lack there of? I've been correcting all the typos. I want to ask back- are you embarrassed about your language skills or lack thereof? I mean, the questions are pretty good, and for the most part the grammar and punctuation are spot on, which is so rare in surveys. Ok, anyway, back to the question. I'm not embarrassed at all.
Who's the last person you said I love you to? I'm so used to just saying it at the end of a phone conversation or as I'm parting ways after a visit that sometimes it slips out to complete strangers, like a tram driver, or a grocery checkout clerk. It gets pretty funny.
What's your stance on spooning? I don't cuddle well.
Have you ever seen a shooting star? Maybe I'm lucky, because yes, I did. I didn't know what it was at first. I was driving home really late one night after work, and saw a weird vague tiny glowy light sort of ahead of me, and I couldn't tell what it was. It kind of seemed like it was moving, but not in any direction, and just as I realized it was coming right at ME because it was getting bigger real fast, it popped apart and disappeared. So I think I saw a meteorite, which technically is a shooting star.
Did you make a wish or do you not believe in that crap? I make lots of wishes, all the time, you don't need a meteorite for that. Some of them come true anyway, because statistically, the more you wish, and the bigger variety of things wished for, the chances increase that a small percentage of them will come true. And if you really want them to come true, make sure they're not incredibly impossible kinds of wishes. Magic happens all around us, and our brains are powerful things. Wish as though you really believe, and you might just change your life.
Did you like your life when you were in middle school? I was a rugrat in middle school. I wore hand me downs and braces, my mom didn't let me wear makeup (and I don't remember if I even had deodorant, probably not), and I got picked on mercilessly. I don't recall liking much at all during that era.
Have you ever been 'popular'? 'Wildly so'.
Has someone ever tried to convert you? Adults telling 5 year olds that they'll go to hell if they don't get saved *right now* isn't 'conversion', it's terrorists brainwashing little kids.
Are you thin? Sometimes my patience is. You know how people say someone has the patience of Job? That's me. He's really not a patient guy, if you actually read it.
Do you like big earrings? I think it's neat when people hang Christmas ornaments from their ears.
Are you scared of your future? I've already put my order in for my next life, long list of 'no way' stuff.
Are you a whiskey person? I made some really delicious pork cutlets for lunch, and I can't stop eating them. Scott won't have any left over for work. For the small minded, I nearly killed myself on whiskey many years ago. Liver toxicity sucks about as bad as anything you'll ever go through, so wean down off the alcohol, ok? Don't cold turkey if you're a heavy drinker, like I did, you can go into liver shock. Some of you are going, Yeah, but pork cutlets aren't good for your liver, either, and I'm going, Yeah, but my blood work is the best it's ever been, and that kind of argument won't save your liver if you're still drinking.
Are you a coward? I told you about the spider that was as big as my foot, right? Another survey back there.
Do you ever listen to oldies? I need Darkwing Duck theme music following me around.

Are you good at making conversation? Not really, I just free associate everyone to death.
Do you go on a lot of dates? My new Merlin calendar arrived in the mail today!!!! The photos are huge. I usually write all over my wall calendars, but there is no way I'm going to mess up this one. So I'll have to buy another one...

Have you ever been told that you dress like a slut?

I couldn't look slutty if I tried. Scott walked through here this morning looking slutty...

I was elbow deep in dish water, and he came back in from deer hunting with most of his clothes all stripped off, and seriously, this is the ONLY time I get to see him in those cool bike underwear that wicks away moisture, he walked over to the microwave and caught my eye, my head turned automatically while my brain went shwaaaaaa? and before I could even think I blurted out, Wow, you look good!

Then I ran for my camera, and he managed to elude me. I tried to convince him of how glad he'll be when he's 90 that I took this picture, but the guy just doesn't have that preening instinct, and he wouldn't be still, and every shot I got was blurry because I couldn't think straight to work the camera right. So now if I get Alzheimer's and forget what I saw, I won't have anything to back it up.

What's the best compliment you've ever received?

Scott says if anything ever happens to me he'll die because his cooking is so bad that he'll go back to twinkies and hot dogs. For Scott to admit that he'd be helpless without someone is HUGE.

Do you still watch cartoons?

The most tv I've watched this year is SD ComicCon stuff and Merlin. Sunny in Philadelphia is back, so now I'm watching that, too. I guess you could say every bit of that is rather cartoony. I really don't watch much tv otherwise.

Are you a comic book geek?

No, but I married one whose mom threw all his old comic books away that would be worth millions now. I hear that every little bit. And he has a Batman t-shirt and lunchbox. I got the Spiderman lunchbox.

When's the last time you had Starbucks?

Never. We used to drive to another state to pick up Caribou, but now HyVee and Target carry it, so we're good.

Was it worth the ridiculous pricing?

My youngest worked at a Starbucks for awhile, she thought it was ridiculous. The Caribou is totally worth it.

Are you a fan of muffins?

I had to make muffins every morning at a hotel I worked at. They were awesome. I haven't eaten them since. Have you noticed that when something is awesome you kind of overdo it till you get super burnout and then nothing else like it ever compares? Yeah, that.

Did you just think of sex?

Daniel Tosh is the only one who ever makes me think of sex when he says things completely unrelated to it.

Have you ever heard of The Cranberries? I bought two bags of cranberries today and put them into the freezer. My mom had this yummy cranberry ambrosia recipe that she'd make every Thanksgiving, and I still make it every year.
What's your most recent obsession? Let's see, three years ago it was the price of cocoa and sugar (which were both jumping up and have never really come back down since, despite there being plenty of cacao beans because stock traders were having a ball driving it up, and a nasty storm hit the sugar cane fields in Hawaii), a couple of years ago it was buying up Libby's canned pumpkin as quickly as it arrived in stores after they came out of a two year crop shortage due to flooding (and now the price is nearly double per can in some stores even though there seems to be plenty), last year it was buying up butter and throwing it into the freezer every time I found it real cheap because the price of butter had doubled and even tripled, depending on the store, and this year it's Hershey's milk chocolate chips, the price of which varies wildly by as much as $2.50 a bag. While people whine about a 30 cent markup in the price of gas, I marvel that no one complains when the price of the really good vanilla can jump by nearly a dollar an ounce. I've been obsessed with the movement of 'goods and services' ever since I saw my first world map in the fourth grade.
Are you feeling okay today? I'm feeling awesome today. I hope you are, too. And if not, here's a hug. ~hug~
Does anyone care? I know they do because they stalk me.

6:41 am
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Halloween Survey

PICK ONE:
Ghosts or Goblins?: I've always liked ghosts. Not sure where it started, but I have memories of watching Space Ghost, and I think the little ghosts in Pacman are super cute. I've seen nearly every single episode of Ghost Hunters and have the original t-shirt.

Zombies or Vampires?:

Scott's all into zombies, I think they're dumb. I know, I know, half of you out there hate me now, zombies are *the thing*, I know. And believe it or not, I haven't seen a single Twilight movie. I like old timey vampire spoofs, and I've been impatiently waiting for this one to hit pay per view. I saw the preview on a Dish ad this morning, so I'm very excited.

Witches or Hags?:

Let's just skip to the really cool ELVIRA. I love her. Click pic to get to her facebook.

Werewolves or Frankenstein?:

Sometimes it only takes one time to create an undying classic. I love me some Rocky Horror.

Black Cats or Bats?: BOTH. This goes way back to grade school. The compulsion to buy black and orange construction paper, little scissors, and glue is pretty overwhelming this time of year. I have the cookie cutters, definitely. And we had black cats growing up, with names like Midnight and Cosmic Creepers, and we keep bat houses around the yard.
Trick or Treat?: Big ol' combo on this one, when the kids were young we used to save up all kinds of stuff to put into the candy bowl- barbie doll shoes we couldn't find mates for, broken crayons, mardi gras necklaces, hotel soaps, old Christmas candy, leftover party favors from birthdays, ketchup packets, play money, you name it, we grabbed it and mixed it in. We were the hottest candy house on the street for a few years. Really miss that.
Candy Corn or Candy Apples?: Popcorn balls!!!!! I make them by the gallons. I have a really awesome recipe. And lately we're getting into Halloween themed cupcakes. Last year I tried to make mummies and they turned out looking like the Taliban, and my sister made cute little hatchets with toothpicks and foil and stuck them in the cupcakes to make them 'bleed'.

HALLOWEEN QUESTIONS:
Do you like to dress up for Halloween?: The easiest and coolest thing I've ever done is lightly stroke mascara down the tiny fuzz on my face to create 3D whiskers. I can't tell you how many times I've been told that I screwed up because my eyebrows were too neat.

What were you last year for Halloween?:

A pastry chef for someone else's party, mainly. The kids on this street grew up and moved away long ago. We got two little kids and that was it. I was glad I didn't dress up, although I wore my Ghost Hunters t-shirt all over town.

What are you going to be this year?:

No plans at all on that yet. Scott did this one year. Yeah, it really did scare some little kids. He looks kinda psychotic.

Favorite costume you have ever worn?:

My fave story EVER is from over where I used to live a long time ago, people get pretty crazy when they live too far outa town. One guy took his front door off and replaced it with a cheap fake door with a knob, and when a bunch of little kids knocked on the door (they travel in big groups when the houses are few and far between), he fired up a chainsaw inside the house and sawed right down the middle of that door. That's right, they ALL ran screaming. Really wish I could have seen that.

How do you spend your Halloween?:

Is this not the ~coolest~ Halloween video you've ever seen?

Are you or are you not going trick or treating this year?: I once made my kid go out on a blustery cold wet night with a billowing cape, drove her around the neighborhood with a pillowcase in the pickup to unload into, hit every door that was lit for nearly two hours, and she made out like a bandit because no one else was showing up in that weather, several people dumped their whole bowl into her little bucket. We actually filled the pillow case, and one old guy even gave her money. She wound up with a raging case of strep, but we had free candy for months.
Did or do you pull Halloween pranks?: One year she dressed up as a medic with scrubs and gloves and mask (I was in nursing school that year), and I let her use my stethoscope, and she came home with a wicked latex reaction on her hands that lasted for weeks. You guys be really careful with those costumes.
Do you believe in ghosts?: They get out of my way. Yes, I have awesome true ghost stories. No, I'm not going to tell them right now.
Do you decorate your home for Halloween?: We did that for years, and then a couple years ago we gathered it all up and gave it away and junked the rest because the kids moved out a couple years before that, and then last year someone wanted to borrow it all... I'm not in the habit of keeping stuff around in the event someone might want to use it sometime in their life, but that was one time I wish I had. I think Halloween parties are the funnest to go to.
Have you ever been to a haunted house?: I spent the night with a friend in a house that someone had been murdered in years before, and I was the only one who stayed up late watching tv because I didn't get to do that at home. I didn't believe the stuff they were telling me was real. BIG mistake. I wound up being all by myself at the other end of the house when it started, and there is absolutely nothing creepier than to hear a horrible murder by a psycho replayed and not see anything moving around or being disturbed. I raced down the hallway and dove into my friend's bed and curled up like a freaked out cat into her stomach, and she barely even woke up to push me over. I shook for a long time, trying to hunch up and hide behind her (like a sleeping person could really save someone), and never went back. I have never been that scared since then, even though I've seen more scary ghost stuff.
Have you ever been to a graveyard on Halloween?: Weird stuff happens in graveyards at noon in full sunlight, but people generally don't notice. Hey, weird stuff happens around my house all the time. I need to write a book about this house. We often snicker at the reaction the next family in this house will have after we either move or die, because this house is so creepy weird our youngest daughter refuses to spend the night alone here. She did that ~one time~ and called us up sobbing.
Have you ever been to an amusement park's Halloween event?: I listen to other people's stories about how they freaked out in haunted houses and corn mazes and whatever and just laugh. The best stuff is little kid parties with trying to bite apples hanging from strings while your hands are behind your back, or beanbag bat into the pumpkin tosses, and stuff like that. Watching little kids do Halloween is pretty cool. My sisters dressed their kids in the coolest homemade costumes every year. This is Pebbles from the Flintstones.

Do you watch scary movies on Halloween?: I have watched the Ghost Hunters Halloween all-nighter every year since they started that. Last year I think I finally hit burnout, it was too interactive and interrupted because it has turned into such a big media event, it's just not the same any more.
Have you ever had your candy stolen from you?: If you're stealing anything from me, you've prolly been set up for a prank, and I made it easy for you. Around these parts, people glue razor blades around the edges of stuff.
Did you ever steal any ones candy?: I was always the one slyly stealing everyone else's tootsie rolls.
Has anyone ever gotten hurt due to your prank?: Someone tried to prank me after they egged a cop car and then insisted it wasn't them but that it was me (we had identical pickups), but I stayed cool and asked the cops if they noticed whether the pickup egging them had Missouri tags, and they said yes, and I pointed out that mine were out of state at the time (whew!), similar color and style, and boy were they mad, I think the other guy prolly got arrested. They had no clue I was the one who had been stealing signs... I heard later there was a crash, but no one got hurt. I know, I felt bad, I didn't steal any more signs after that. Or guard rails. Or other stuff...
HAVE YOU SEEN:
You know what, I'm just going to wipe out that whole list and make my own. I mean, after decades of Twilight Zones and every conceivable rip off and remake possible, I really don't get off on scary movies, and that list was so outdated and boring. Besides, I grew up butchering, and I worked in a hospital cleaning rooms people had died in, I know most people don't really know what old blood and bodies really smell like or what real death really looks like, so it's hard to convey how unimpressed I am with it in movies. But I will tell you a few things that disturb me and stuck with me far longer than 'scary' movies... -Does anything truly compare to the weeping angels on Dr. Who? Seriously, that made me so nervous the first time I saw them that I had to pause the show and leave the room and calm down, and I started noticing statues around town for awhile. And the living faces in the library creeped me out way more than the black shadows eating people down to skeletons. -I have avoided Arachnophobia like the plague ever since I saw a trailer on tv. My nightmares about spiders are actually way, way worse, and one day I hope to write my own thriller about spiders that'll make all the other creepy movies look like the teacup ride at Disneyland. If you are able to watch Arachnophobia, you do NOT have arachnophobia. Mine is pretty severe. I once ran off a cloverleaf and wrecked my little pickup over a spider dangling in front of my face, perfectly timed to a John Denver cassette singing "Come and let me look in your eyes..." I can't bear spider jewelry or decor of any kind. Ironically, I live in the woods, and I've seen some amazingly gigantic spiders with leg spans as wide as your face. My daughter once shot a tarantula with a bow and arrow inside the house, which I thought was pretty cool. -The doll that looked like George Costanza's mom on Seinfeld gave me the creeps so bad that I couldn't look at dolls for a whole month after I saw that. I've had a problem with dolls most of my life, eyes looking at me out of fake faces unnerved me pretty badly as a child. Someone made a facebook for her. The Doll That Looks Like George Costanza's Mother -Remember that Guido Jesus meme? That was one freaky dude. And I know I'm weird, but I got the creeps from Ridiculously Photogenic Guy, too. I think my imagination is too active, but that was kinda Twilight Zone-y for me. -Scott made me watch The Ghost And Mr. Chicken after we got married. There isn't much that is more disturbing in a marriage than your spouse getting excited over Don Knotts in a creepy romantic movie. Actually, more disturbing than that is the way it seared itself into my brain, I'll never be able to forget it. -Jim Varney, period, especially as Dr. Otto.

Bzoink - **HALLOWEEN SURVEY** - Survey

One more thing, since you made it this far. I know this is a creepy thing to bring up (which makes it ideal for a Halloween survey!), but if you feel torn between a delight in the macabre and a sense of being worth something after you're gone, consider how fun it would be to donate your body to science! That cuts funeral costs right out, and you can have a few giggles thinking about the students in various fields who will get to practice on you as a cadaver while on their way to becoming professionals in medical, crime, and other fields. I know a couple of people who have done this, and I think it is an incredibly brave and selfless thing to do. If this sounds like an interesting choice to look into, here are some good reads.

The Straight Dope: How do you donate your body to science?

Thinking About Donating Your Body to Science? | healthkicker

How to Donate Your Body to Science: 5 steps - wikiHow

The 'Hard To Answer' Questions - Survey

A relative just commited a very serious crime, do you turn them in? I'd like to pause and thank everyone who knows where I live for not turning me in. Defining 'serious crime' is another matter.
Your lover of 10 years has cheated on you, do you stay or go? If ownership of a house is involved, you do NOT leave the house or you forfeit the right to get back in if the locks get changed. I heard this from a lawyer on a radio talk show.
How do you hope you will die? I do not hope I will die... good lord. Wonder how many people fall for this question.
Are you affraid of dying? I have had the opportunity to find this out a few times, and I think it's more like being upset about the thought of having to leave before I'm done. I found that very upsetting, like some kind of epic fail or something. Part of my brain is arguing that this is the same thing, but I think fear of actual death is separate apart from emotional attachments or entanglements that get severed.
Recall your worst nightmare, what was it about? Is this metaphorical, or actual? Because metaphorically, my worst nightmare would be finding out that this world isn't the real one after all, and every time I wake up in this world is me really being trapped in it. Funny how often I feel trapped here anyway.
Your best friend makes a move on your lover, how do you handle that? With the grace and aplomb of laughing my head off, and then snickering the rest of the day.
If there were a fountain of youth, would you drink from it? My luck I'd wind up looking like I was 13, which was about my most awkward year ever.
If a magic potion could make someone love you, would you slip it to them? I think about this sometimes, because I really like a show called Legend of the Seeker, and I wonder what it would really be like to be a confessor and have slaves simpering around me wanting to please me all the time. I'd hate it. If I slipped someone a love potion and they simpered over me, I'd get fed up so fast I'd probably have them doing stuff like cleaning out my chicken house just so they'd leave me alone.
What if a potion could make your enemy miserable? Stuff like that has such an ironic way of backfiring, I think I'd be super cautious about it. Besides, I've already been an evil villain. It wears thin, all that bwahahaing all the time.
You're in the woods, alone, at night...are you honestly not afraid? I live in the woods. I'm not afraid of the woods. The key is to hold a stick up in front of your face so you don't walk face first into one of those big spider webs.
If your bf/gf had to move out of state, would you leave your family? I can't tell you how much I wish we'd actually moved away like that. Family is vastly overrated after the umpteenth holiday season.
And if you had to move, could you leave your lover and family? I had to move when I was 14. It sucked.
You're never going to see your lover again, what's do need them to know? I'm trying to imagine the distraction that created this kind of mangled question. Scott is already telling people that if anything happens to me he'll die, because I do all the cooking and laundry, so I guess I'd better leave him a detailed list of how to do everything.
An envelope is on the ground, it's full of money. Do you keep it? I think that would be preferable to possibly a dog finding it. I think the better question here is do I look carefully around to see whether anyone is watching me pick it up.
You wittness a crime, do you call the police or get involved in any way? I usually yell out the window that if the cops show up, I'm leaving their butts. I'm usually the driver of a car full of nidiots.
Is abortion ever an option? I accidentally broke an egg that a half done chick was in. I can't even describe what it's like to hold a tiny dying thing in your hand after you stupidly destroyed its only hope.
If you were drafted into the war, would you serve or try to avoid serving? I would do everything in my power to get the cook's job.
If you could say one thing to W. Bush right now what would it be? Did your dad really mean it about the World Order coming?
Was the 9/11 attack planned by our own government? Don't be silly. I think it was Soros.
A parent confides in you that they are gay. Now how do you view gay rights? My 80 something Mennonite father figuring out now that he's gay, that's funny. I have no problem with gay rights.
A loved one on life support for years, could you finally let them go? That is a hellish way to live, for both of us. I don't think there is going to be such a thing as 'life support for years' not far in the future.
You are on life support, what would you want a loved one to do about it? I can see Ed Grimley angsting about something like this, but I just can't get worked up.
A friend just fell over a very high bridge, do you jump to save them? How in the world can I save someone doing that??? (I know, "over" a bridge...?) (I'm sure the survey creator was thinking about over the edge instead of off of. I think this person is distracted by the tv or something.)
If you honestly were abducted by aliens, would you have the never to tell? I assume the survey creator meant to write 'the nerve to tell'. If I were abducted by aliens, I would beg them to take me through that weird dimension where they have to put your consciousness into another body. That's a thing, I ran into that. Aliens As Transdimensional Parasites \| EveLorgen.com High Strangeness by Laura Knight-Jadczyk and Arkadiusz Jadczyk Perhaps the survey creator is actually an alien, and this survey is bait... No, I don't really read books like that, I just run into them on the internet. Those weren't the ones I was looking for, they're actually even weirder.
You've contracted a deadly disease, how would you live your life therafter? I'd clean my house. There is no bigger drag than cleaning out a house after someone has died, at least for me. I can't imagine someone else having to clean up after me. Well, maybe I could hide money everywhere, that would make it more fun.
Your child has only awhile to live, do you still enroll them in school? NO, are you crazy? Unless the kid wants to go to school so they can still be around other kids and things to do, otherwise,... Ok, I actually know a parent who did that just because they didn't know what else to do having the kid around the house. Stuff like this obviously upsets me, doesn't it? I was ignored a lot as a child. I have special feelings for children who grow up ignored and have to deal with big stuff all by themselves.
How would you feel if you met your idol and they ended up being rude? Stephen Hawking can get away with being rude all he wants to, I love him anyway.
According to the tale, was Eve wrong for eating and sharing the apple? I used to argue as a child that God set them up to fail, and other people argued back that He did that on purpose because it was the Only Way, and then we'd get into bigger arguments over what The Ultimate Plan really is. However, I really like C.S. Lewis' Space Trilogy.
If the only way to pay a ransom was to commit a crime, would you? If you knew the above books, you would see how ironic and synchronous this question is coming right after I wrote that, because I just now saw this question. The main character is named Ransom, and the crimes involved are humanity committing crimes against other beings in the cosmos by proxy of another kind of being altogether, a nice play on the 'crimes against humanity' sort of thinking.
Think of who you love most, and describe them in one word... Beautiful.

From Bzoink - The Hard To Answer Questions - Survey

Of all the surveys I've done over the years, I think this was the most enjoyable.

2:05 pm
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bluejacky

I've started transferring my survey posts over to Surveypalooza so people coming in from search engines on mobile devices will be able to see the surveys.

Apologies for the missing vids, another upgrade during the server migration swept through like a scan sweeping through the Enterprise. I'll fix those later, kinda busy...