I'm not terribly girly, so this one should be a challenge.

Do you wear: alot of makeup, some makeup, no makeup

This really is a big deal to people. And it's an even bigger deal when you eventually have to cave to admitting you're so allergic to just about everything out there that you're *stuck* showing your real face to the world. I've never been one to be vain, and goodness knows I don't have a clue when it comes to self awareness, but I noticed a long time ago in college that I really do get treated better when I wear makeup. The incredible thing is that even without makeup, people tell me my skin is "flawless", that I look far younger than I am, and one women even went into a weird rant against God and the cosmos that at ten years younger she looked like hell and stomped out the door with her cigarettes and alcohol. I dread the inevitable coming up, people finding out how old I am, because we always wind up having weird one-sided conversations that embarrass me to death. But even so, it's actually really true, when I used to be able to wear makeup, particularly eye makeup, I definitely got treated better by all kinds of people. I've never understood that.

Whats your favorite makeup?
This is already making me miss makeup, I miss playing with it. I was real bad about forgetting I had it on at work and didn't realize I'd smear it rubbing my eyes and then handle customers for two hours before I got a break and noticed my makeup was screwed. Took me a few years to figure out the reason my eyes were itching all the time was because I'm allergic to the makeup.

Could you go out in public without make up?
The fun part is thinking you can really slouch at home on a day off, and that's the day you wind up with an airway reaction to 'green' cleaners and you look like s#*t at the clinic. I'm such a ball of nerves any more that I wash my hair first thing just to make sure I'm ready for an emergency.

Do you do your nails oftenly?
I got my nails done for Halloween in a salon one year and wound up with a fungal infection messing up my left thumbnail like a zombie for months, how ironic is that.

What color are your fingernails?
Clean. When you are in nursing school, they point out how icky pretty fingernails are underneath. People rarely wash underneath them or go out of their way to put sanitizer on or underneath pretty nails, but never fail to use those nails to scratch and touch *everything*.

How about your toe nails?
Ingrown toenail surgery is a bigger deal than you'd think. I once saw an x-ray of a guy's foot where infection had gone into the bone, and once that happens, bone starts dissolving real quick. Just a heads up.

Heels or flats?
You don't want me anywhere near heels. I tend to fling myself headlong like a projectile. I've destroyed my ankles on stairs. Not cool doing that holding a small child.

Eyeliner or mascara?
I actually like the whole guyliner thing, but Scott flat refuses to try it.

Lip gloss or lipstick?
A gay friend once told me I have the perfect lips for lipstick and he seemed a little upset that I don't bother wearing any. (I think maybe being allergic to something in lipstick heightens my lip picking.) He had a huge poster of Marilyn Monroe in his bedroom. That is the only time in my life anyone has put me anywhere near some kind of pedestal. I really don't think about my lips very much, I guess. Should I?

Eyelash curler or tweezers
I have a double curse. My eyelashes grow real thick and long (nice, right?) but in crazy directions (sux), and then they get loose and fall out every time my eyelids puff up around pollinating trees (super sux). And I'm too allergic to adhesives to boost up with false eyelashes (uber super sux). Btw, did you know you can get eyebrow toupes? False Eyebrow Purchasing Options I've never tried them. I'm so allergic to adhesives that I can't even tolerate pedia patches with event monitors without getting hives.

Vans or converse?
I guess this is a thing. Vans vs. Converse, the ultimate showdown | The Las Lomas Page Since I live in mid-continent, it doesn't seem to be a thing around here. I could be wrong, but I live in the woods. Extreme sports around here involves compound bows, black powder guns, and off road vehicles.

Nike or adidas?
I picked up these cute Sketchers bikers a couple of years ago.

Myspace or facebook
It took two months of patient wrangling just to get into my myspace enough to try to delete it, and it's still there. I can't get back in. Facebook is very user friendly, I deleted the crap out of my old one and started a new one.

Pink or red?
Blue. blue lips - AOL Image Search Results I once dreamed I had half my face tattooed the way David Lee Roth had his face painted on his Eat 'Em and Smile album.

Black or white
Pink is the new black ~and~ the new white, the new blue in India, the now it's the new purple. I wouldn't be surprised if pink were the new pink.

Rock or pop
With me it's more like a metal or new age thing, depending on my mood.

What color are your socks
See my sox.

What color is your bra?
I want to get a red one.

Are you wearing skinny jeans?
I love flared legs. I have this thing. It was practically fashionable in the 70's to get your jeans caught in your bike chain.

You think you set or follow trends?
I wait until they go back outa fashion and then cannonball in and splash everyone. I'm very annoying like that.

Have you ever done something just to fit in?
I've never fit in with anyone in my life, even when I tried. Once in awhile a group builds up and follows me around like Buckaroo Banzai during the ending credits, but I tend to attract fringe people that other people like to bomb and then they start wars in my comments and then I kinda freak out about being pushed to be the rebel leader by people going through breakdowns of some kind. You all are on your own if you start fighting. I don't take sides any more.

Do you go to the mall oftenly?
I drive past it a lot. They've got cool stuff in there, but if they can't accommodate me at 7 a.m., see ya.

Do you have many friends?
They're afraid to admit it right now. I had a very typical aspie meltdown one year and obliterated my sites, and I'm blown away that even after all that, they still regularly traffic through every week checking on me, even during the whole year and a half I had nothing on it. *snif* I mean, that gets you ~right here~. But yeah, it's really impressive, I have some really really good friends out there all over the place, and I love you guys.

Do you dislike any of your friends?
No. I actually like all of them. It's my own personality that gets in the way.

Whats your BESTEST friend's ever name?
Scott, always gonna be Scott.

Have you ever had a down moment with that person?
Oh, heck yeah. Two whole years all we could say to each other was we want a divorce. 19 years married on August 5th. If you can't figure out how to be best buds with someone by the time you get old, you wind up going through a bunch of hard crap all by yourself, and that sux. I'd rather have a friend around. We laugh a *lot*.

Most memorable moment with that person?
Cupcake. You had to be there. aspie lovin'

Who was your most recent missed call from?
Let's see, that was 23 days ago. That's not so much an indicator that I'm johnny-on-the-spot answering my phone, but that everyone I know is so used to me not liking to use the phone that they rarely call. They are well trained.

Who was the last person you called?
My dad. You all need to call your dads. Don't give me junk about how they this or that, or you don't have time, or whatever, just call. You'll find out how much I took from my dad when the book comes out.

What does your 5th message in your inbox say?
Scott was laughing that he accidentally texted a pic of his leprosy to the wrong number and how they must've wtf'd.

Don't worry, it's old scarring from an e.coli infection from when he let his legs hang in the river during a canoe trip, and now that he's older he really has to watch easy internal bleeding under the scarring because his skin integrity is so shot. (edit several days later- ok, it's actually pretty scary and we're going into the doctor every day and they're running every test they can think of ruling out everything they can, because they think it's gone autoimmune).

Who was it from?
I like making up cool Wabble game names to intrigue people and then putting on crazy unrelated passwords so no one can get in except my secret pals. Random trivia during redundant questioning.

Single or taken?
I have to drink a lot of chocolate milk today. I bought some because my niece and nephew spent the night this week, and no one drank any, and now it's sitting there with an expiration date. I'm clocking out doses of chocolate milk now because I'm diabetic. I can have one cup every two hours without spiking as long as I don't have any other carbs today. Getting a lot of dairy protein and calcium! And chocolate. I'll have to watch that, my heart wants to race when I have too much. I heard dogs die of heart attacks when they eat chocolate. I have no idea if this is true. I know I've wound up in the ER a couple times after going a little crazy on hot chocolate. Likewise, I have to be careful with coffee and tea, as well.

If so, by who?
In other random babbling, I'm so happy that Nerdist got picked up for tv on BBCA that I twitterpated all over my dvr this last weekend.

What color are your eyes
Well, to me they look like a weird yellow brown, but most people just say I have brown eyes. I get kinda freaked out looking at eyes for any real length of time, even in the mirror, and after avoiding this question on I don't know how many surveys, I thought What the heck, what color ARE my eyes? Well, I spent nearly an hour doing a whole study, using my cell phone and computer. The light in the kitchen makes my eye look yellower, the light in my bathroom makes it look browner, and I had all kinds of fun zooming and pixelating.

Scott had to go look at his eyes in the mirror after I showed him this.   

Whats your favorite color?
I get the biggest kick out of this one.

What song are you listening to right now?
I keep preempting the questions, don't I?

Do you like to dance?
The funnest dancing I ever did was 'showtimes' at a nice 50'/60's lounge with a long food bar that I cooked for and assembled. I got to wear suspenders with awesome pins all up and down them and a cool driver's cap and a bartender armband, and we'd get on top of the bars or out on the dance floor and do dance routines to certain songs that came up every 15 or 20 minutes.

Do you like to sing?
I love to sing, spent 10 years in choir classes all through public school so I could go on field trips and get in plays and stuff, and then I got into a church choir so I could be on tv one year, which was fun.

Do you believe in
What, dangling sentences? I follow the Ancient Alien guy on Twitter, he gets into the most hilarious fights with people about beliefs.

Do you believe in love at first sight?
That's usually what happens with food.

How about true love
True love is a lie when you come up super allergic to citrus and have to give up lemon pie forever.

Do you believe in bros before hoes?

Are you a whore?
I tried that with Scott a few times, he doesn't seduce easily. Too nerdy, too suspicious, too messed over by other women in his past.

Are most of your friends guys or girls?
I've never tallied. I was surprised to find out at MegaCon one year how many webmasters will slyly sidle up and very quietly introduce themselves because they fear being outed and shredded by rival web gangs, and one in particular that I'd admired from afar turned out to be a really cool guy instead of the really cool slightly insinuated lezbi girl, which I guess is a good way to hide from the public if you fear wrath somewhere, just pass the hot potato on or something and rarely speak up on boards kind of thing. I never learned that, I got stoned a lot. The bad kind. Web rocks hurt just as bad as real rocks, and when you have a compulsion to pop back up and nyahnyah to draw fire, yeah, lotta rocks. Where was I? Oh, yeah, it was a great time, really stirred up the fans, had a blast being shot at, and now I think it's just all too funny. What the heck, frenemies, friends, it's all good.

Favorite candy?
I've kinda been cheating on the Doctor and Connor Temple and started hanging out with these guys.

Favorite ice cream flavor?
I no can haz. wah.

Ever cried yourself to sleep?
That's a good way to drown in your own snot, and no, I can't even imagine being able to sleep after I've cried that hard, am I right? Not intending to make fun of anyone crying, because it sux. When you can cry for several hours till your throat hurts real bad and your head hurts and you feel too sick to eat, your life is sucking so bad that you couldn't go to sleep in the first place.

Ever slept on your computer?
I once slept on my phone and came unglued like a cat when it started ringing. I know people who can't sleep without their phones on all the time because they're so hooked into needing live broadcasts to survive, THAT would strip my sanity and leave me curled up in a gutter. I would look like John Bigbooty in the asylum.

Longest you've used your computer?
Years. We had one that completely crashed twice and limped along like a cripple on staticky dial up, and I was building a huge website I couldn't even pull up to see properly, just had to go on the layout I could see in my head. I'll never forget the first time I saw the whole thing pull up all at once while I was goofing off in a medical terminology computer classroom, I nearly wept it was so beautiful, like a glossy interactive fan magazine. I have dreams of building awesome 3D holographic sites in a futuristic world where computer coding is alive in a pandimensional field and touch screens are a joke. I wake up sad sometimes. Then I get some coffee and get more ideas and get busy again.

Whose your #1 top?
Me. Weird Al said it best, I can be my own best friend and I can send myself for pizza.

Why?
Because when all the chips are down, if you can't count on yourself to save your own life, who CAN you count on? And can other people count on you? I am the Bruce Willis of the whole believing in one's self angle.

Favorite smiley?
           >=)

Are you addicted to something?
Youtube. I like salvaging broken fan vids that stop playing right or aren't embeddable. I collect youtubes like some people collect ball cards, action figures, and hot wheels.

Do you consider yourself a myspace freak?
I geeked out over there for awhile making Willy Wonka and other stuff, it was fun. Got really sick of Tom. Did you know there's a way to rewrite youtube codes? I totally had it down.

Do you edit your profile oftenly?
I was really surprised to find out I still have one here when I came back from my internet vacation. I'd forgotten I filled that out.

Rock or pop?
Seriously? Duplicate questioning? Maybe my answer wasn't acceptable. Um, I also kinda like electronic dance music like iiO. What genre is Eiffel 65? They're like several things all squashed together and sorta slightly grunged or something.

Have you ever been in a fist fight?
I grew up having to face down farm animals 10 times my weight. I scared a couple of guys half to death one time when they started tickling me at a party and I had them both down in an eyeblink because tickling someone with Asperger's is always a huge mistake, one's chest was bleeding and the other's shirt was ripped, and I don't remember how.

Do you want to?
Adamantly, no. I don't understand people trying to goad me into fighting. I come from 400 years of Mennonites. People think that means wimp, but we're pretty good at killing things.

Have you ever thought about having sex?
This was an abrupt pivot.

Have you ever babysat, if so, who?
I have too many bad memories of how my mom used to send me to friends' houses and I'd be stuck with monstrous brats for hours, over and over and over. You know what? You had 'em, you sit with 'em. I raised my own, I didn't farm them out while I pursued a career or went back to college. If I couldn't find a way to do that and still be there for my kids, I didn't do it, and I still managed to get a degree and hold a job. Part of that commitment was that I loved my kids and didn't trust anyone, so it all worked out. Not crazy about hearing other people's sob stories about their kid going to jail or getting pregnant or being a drunk or dropping out of school or whatever when you know the kids got stuck with babysitters and/or raising themselves.

Have you ever waited soo long for something you wanted to happen so bad?
This is why I get up so early and get my shopping and traveling and whatever else done, because the lines get ridiculous later.

Are you content with your life?
Yep. Facing a future dismally bemoaning my lot in life seems like too much of a drag.

Who is your role model?
I'm clearly developing some baditude and getting cranky with some of these last couple of questions, so let's see, lately it's the Hillywood Show, who I have watched grow up on youtube. They recently got a big public promo for their own music video, very cool.

Whats your best feature?
I keep forgetting this is supposed to be a girly survey. I had to go ask Scott what my best feature is because I don't know how to gauge these things. He said I've got pretty eyes. But he also likes werewolves and vampires and zombies, so I guess the yellow part I think I see in my eyes is becoming.

Your worst feature?
Scott's got a fever and is on antibiotic right now, so I'm not sure asking him this one really counts. He's never been the sort to call me names or talk down to me, so it's anyone's guess. If I had to complain about one particular thing that is wonky about me, I'd say I'm not entirely thrilled with the way my ears seem to be getting bigger as I get older. I once saw a picture of a 100 year old woman whose ears had spread out like pancakes on the sides of her head, and I cringe to think someday I could have really big ears. They've been so tiny most of my life.

Are you racist?
Completely. I really loathe spiders and all their kind.

Are you a sexist?
The whole neighborhood is sexist, I'm not allowed to keep a rooster around the place, although I am stubbornly defying them.

Do you discriminate?
Heck yeah, every time I see someone hanging around the front of a store with flyers in their hand I tell them don't talk to me. Actually, I have to do that because once I stop to talk, I tend to out-argue just for the game of it, and Scott has to get my arm and drag me off talking.

Are you ashamed of talking to someone or being seen talking to someone who isnt as popular as you?
I have a facial recognition problem, half the time I don't know who the heck I'm talking to even if I've seen them before. Keeping track of popularity seems more laborious than keeping track of family birthdays, so I just avoid everyone in general.

Do you talk shit?
I can go from totally silent for 3 hours to TMI without warning, so don't ask me about anything personal unless you wanna be grossed out. As for gossip, no, I don't care to do that. I'm usually disappointed in people who succumb to that.

Have you ever talked shit?
I tend to point out the obvious, the conflicts of interest, and incongruencies. People don't like me getting interested enough to open my mouth because I enjoy pointing out the flaws in the person talking the shit.

Do you care about what other people think about you?
No, seriously I don't. I don't have the craving to be loved all the time.

Have you ever not been yourself to impress someone?
I think the only way I impress people is just being myself and not having a clue.

Have you ever done yourself VERY pretty with so much makeup and a whole different outfit to make a guy like you?
I'm not sure that's what guys like. I've done that to make other girls uncomfortable, though. They get so territorial, it's like putting the biggest mask on makes you the winner.

Have you ever betrayed someone?
I've heard other people go on about being betrayed, and I've never gotten what the deal is. Betrayal implies you're holding secret cards that can get you outed in some way, so if someone rats you out and you can't trust them, that only means you smile and keep playing along and then push them out of the car in traffic. Metaphorically. I've never done that, but I know people who really do that.

Water or soda?
Never soda. Have you wondered where all that carbon dioxide goes once you ingest it? Your body doesn't use it, it has to get rid of it. You don't burp it all out, so your body has to find other ways to get it out by dissolving it in the your bloodstream, which overloads you on carbon dioxide. Ok, technically this has never been proven, but it's a working hypothesis I have about why I feel better when I don't drink pop of any kind. Or it could be this. Flame retardant chemical found in US soft drinks

Coke or pepsi?
I avoid all pop like the plague anyway because they generally list 'natural flavors' in their ingredients. I'm very allergic to lemon and reactive to all other citrus, and lemon is a natural flavor that is used to boost all kinds of bottled and canned foods. You wouldn't believe how often you ingest lemon around the clock.

Look behind you, whats behind you?

You've no idea how much this question creeped me out. I mean, what if I'd turned around and there had been a spider peeking at me from behind that bale of straw?

Have you ever been rejected or dumped?
Someone was killed in the process. It'll get creepy in the book.

Have you ever thought about how school would be like if someone didnt go there?
Especially if the mom is the coach of the girls volleyball team her daughter is on, and she never gets benched no matter how bad she plays. And she's on the school board...

Do you hate anyone?
I'm not really into hating. It's a waste of time and energy I could be doing something else with.

Do you love anyone?
I love these horses.  They're French.

Have you ever gotten drunk?
ER cocktails are a surprise.

Would you pass a drug test?
Epic winning. I'm the only person I know who has managed to come off 25 years of medically sanctioned benzodiazapine addiction without replacing it with other meds. They laugh at me because it was always low dose, but hey, my GABA receptors were ~wrecked~ and the taper took two years. That whole bug crawling and biting sensation thing is *real*. I've heard from several people that benzo withdrawal sux as bad as heroin withdrawal.

Whats your locker number?
I still have stress dreams about forgetting locker combinations and finding out I'm still in college and failing all my classes and a huge paper is due in one hour and stuff like that. Missing the bus. I'm so scarred.

Do you have good hygine?
Ok, I can't take this anymore. Ask me if I can SPELL. omg. My hygiene is fine, thank you. I've been fixing some of the questions, but I'm done with that.

Have you ever danced infront of the mirror?
Never. I use mirrors for important things, like seeing if there is a bug on me somewhere.

Ever checked out someone from the same sex?
Scott's been checked out several times right in front of me, like *wow*. He must be really hot. I told him if I was a guy I'd be super gay for him, too.

Ever bit your toenail?
Scott used to bite his toenails and taught his little girl to do it. I don't care what else gets said about me, I can't imagine stooping to that level. I wish there'd been such a thing as cell phone cameras and facebook back when this was going on, I'd have shopped those out everywhere. #heathens

Ever slept outside your house?
We have a word around here, *bugs*. If you've never lived in the woods, you have no clue how many bugs exist on this planet.

Been to a sleepover?
Hey, we just had one of those this week! Little kids and school supplies and lots of running around being loud and silly. And now it's all quiet again.

Peed in your pants WHEN YOU WERE A CHILD, TODDLER?
Emphasis? Is that really necessary? And is this really worth answering?

What's your wallpaper?
I'm always amazed when teens or pre-teens making surveys go from an inane really low IQ question straight to something that involves technology. I can tell this one is burning out. Getting tempting to count and see if there really are 100 questions here, but I'm getting tired of this too and don't care any more.

11th person on your contact list?
I usually don't go beyond 5. And I'm usually the one at the top of other people's contact list, I'm so handy in a crisis or a pinch.

Laptop or desktop?
Well, as soon as we commit to wireless printing and scanning, I'll say laptop. Which I'm actually on right now. I'm a fence rider.

Ever asked for money?
I think I should have been paid for this one, or at least gotten a coupon for a free item at the grocery store. These things take days to fill out.

Did you enjoy this survey?
I'm wondering what exactly about this survey means it's girly? Well, ok, there were a number of questions about how catty I could be, I guess. Shame that means girly. We now direct traffic back to Wil Wheaton's bedhead report. You, too, can get this kind of breaking news simply by following his twitter feed, along with other super cool stuff, and this is a cool thing to do now thanx to TheBloggess. Prolly the girliest thing about me in this survey is that I've been getting Wil's twitter feed so long that I know everything the guy does. I don't do this with anyone else on the planet. I mean, how many people refuse to name their pet after Wil Wheaton just so they won't ever have to say Wil Wheaton ate a worm or Wil Wheaton beat up someone's dog or....

My neighbors are going to be so surprised when Dr. Parrish ninjas out all over them. >=D heh heh