RED = ANGER

1. Are you currently mad at someone?
Wo, we'd better change our Valentine colors if this is true.  And Santa's suit.  And a dozen roses might mean you want someone dead...  No, I'm too lazy to keep up any kind of anger at a specific person for very long.

2. Which of your family members has the worst temper?
I live next door to my in-laws.  They have fantastic DNA properties.  Not one of them has suffered a stroke or heart attack in all the years I've known them, and they blow gaskets right and left every day.  They all lose their teeth, though.  Maybe dentistry should look into anger management as an alternative to prescribing a dentifrice for the prevention of tooth decay and gingivitis.

3.Have you ever thrown something at anyone?
I throw the truth out there all the time.  Most people duck and run.

4. Does your face turn red when you're angry?
I'm currently dealing with sun poisoning, on the edge of leprosy (severe polymorphus light eruptions or PLE from lupus and meds, 5 minutes in the shade does me, I live like a vampire, it sux).  I don't think I could make it look worse by getting angry if I tried.  Besides, like I said, it's too much work to get that upset.

5. When you're mad do you prefer to stare angrily or yell?
That totally cracks me up, 'stare angrily'.  I can pull a pretty good evil eye, I guess.  Far more effective than raising one's voice.  I've been told I look pretty scary.  But like Snoopy once said way back in the '60s when Lucy got after him for not looking interested, looking lazy is easier on the eyes.  My evil eye doesn't come out very often any more.

ORANGE = EXCITEMENT

1. Has anyone ever thrown a surprise party for you?
I don't like being excited, and I hate surprises.  From Asperger's Syndrome Meltdowns: How to Cope--

Just because we grow up doesn't mean we like surprises any better than when we were kids, yet people still try very hard sometimes to surprise and excite me and then wonder why I shut down and don't react at all because I'm upset about the abrupt disturbance in the force around me.

2. Are you easily excited?
I'm not comfortable being around excitable people, either, and I loathe little yappy dogs.  It's very stressful.  I find watching reality shows to be as stressful as being around people like that in person.  I seriously got the planet wrong on this life, missed Vulcan and overshot straight to Earth, and have felt lost ever since.

3. What event is coming up that you're most excited about?
The farmer's market opens back up next month.  You haven't lived until you've had Amish okra.

4. If you won a million dollars, what would be your first thought?
Breeding royal and sky blue chickens...

5. If you could have anything right now what would it be?
The ability to shut my eyes and watch the universe and everything in it unfold at any speed I desire.

YELLOW = SELF DISCOVERY

1. Name: This is a really lame start to 'self discovery'.

2. Birthday: United Nations Day.

 

"We will be judged in the future on the actions we take today -- on results. On this United Nations Day, let us rededicate ourselves to achieving them."  Ban Ki-moon, Secretary-General

3.Whats your main goal in life?: 
Right now, it's a delightful homemade macaroni and cheese out of my last little block of Brick that Scott brought back from Minnesota last fall. 

4. Do you want to have children?:
Way past ya.

5. When do you want to die?:
Goodness, is this one ever worded wrong.  Like, am I supposed to put in an order for my date and time of death?  How about never ever ever.


GREEN = OPINIONS

1. Are you against gay marriage?
I think it would be more helpful to put our energy into being against human trafficking.  Sex slavery is a thriving business in the United States, but sadly, I don't think the stimulus package is going to thwart it in any way.

2. Lower the drinking age?
I raised a full time step daughter with Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorder.  Sure, what the heck, let's throw our country away on idiocy.

3. Capital Punishment?
Ten years on death row costs the taxpayers millions.  You do the heinous crime, then shut up and die and stop sucking up money we need to take care of NICE people.  It's like the current administration has said about old people in nursing homes-- *accept your fate*.  One of the most incredulous bizarre twists of irony I see in Americans becoming politically correct is that they are quick to threaten the lives of, say, AIG employees over bonuses after the media hypes it completely out of proportion, but think it's just ~horrible~ that we can actually *kill* someone in cold blood who has raped and murdered others out of lust.

4. Abortion?
Mother's Day  I see no reason to repeat it here.  Everything I feel is there.


BLUE = LOVE


1. Do you love someone?
I've decided Glenn Beck is a hottie.   

2. Do you believe in love at first sight?
I am sternly staying out of hardware stores right now so I won't fall in love with the chickies and bring more home.  I'm a sucker for teeny little peepy things.

3. Is love the best thing in the world?
The mac and cheese I was making turned out ~really~ good.  Scott will love me for it.

 

Why aren't there 5 questions for love?  Hmm.

PURPLE = Q&A

Q: how many beds did you lay in yesterday?
A: Is this the metaphorical make your bed and lie in it?  Are you really asking me how many things I took responsibility for yesterday?

Q: What color shirt are you wearing?
A: Dang, nearly every time I'm asked this in a survey, I'm wearing the same shirt.  It's incredible.

Q: Name one thing that you do everyday?
A: Join the world of the living.

Q: How much cash do you have on you right now?
A: Zilch, zero, nada, zip.  Too bad you didn't ask about the change bowl.

Q: Is Tom on your Top friends list?
A: Heck yeah.  I blocked and/or deleted nearly everyone but him.  I find him useful for maintenance notices.

Q: Look to your left. What's there?
A : Sorry, can't turn my head to the left right now.  I'm having one of those cascading fibro thingies related to a bulge in C5-6.  Been a long weekend.

Q: What's the last piece of clothing you borrowed from someone?
A: Aspie grossed out, I don't do that.

Q: What website(s) do you visit the most during the day?
A: Probably a google-based search engine.  Always putting more stuff in the ol' bean.

Q: Do you have plants in your room?
A : There are a couple of piles that are probably growing roots.

Q: Does anything hurt on your body right now?
A: I'm not even going into this one.

Q: What city was your last taxicab ride in?
A: I've never suffered a cab ride.

Q: Do you own a picture phone?
A: I'm into the classics.

Q: Recent time you were really upset?
A: Thought we kinda covered this.

PINK = LAST

1. Person you saw(not family):

This is where having a facial recognition problem comes in handy.  Who cares?

2. Last thing you said:

Out loud?  I think I had an 'oh, crap' moment where I thought I spilled something.

3. Movie watched in cinema:

Someday a wise, wise, very wise survey creator is going to ask what I watched last on pay-per-view.

4. Song you listened to:

The Big Bang Theory theme song.

5. Person you talked on the phone with:

Scott's in Best Buy purchasing a netbook that he can smuggle into work and check his fantasy stats on.  He discovered he can piggyback on the neighboring business's wifi.  It's all-out war this year since he took the $400 last year. 

Sorta thinking how weird it is that I created this 'blue star' blog with end of the world parody posts and big deep reflections on our place in this universe, and just learned today that the Hopi have a prophecy that a Blue Star Kachina will show up and proclaim the end of the world...  Hopi Prophecies

 

 

I grew up 16 miles from the border of the Navajo Nation reservation and went to school with kids representing 6 different Indian tribes, including Hopi, and had never heard of the Blue Star Kachina, although I knew the Hopi had some kind of prophecy about the end of mankind if we don't choose the right path.  My favorite color is blue, I'm obsessed with the 2012 date for when our sunrise lines up with our galactic center, and here I am, blogging to the world.  Hmmm....  A kachina, by the way, is an ancestral spirit.  Might explain a number of dreams I've had throughout my life.

2. What are you doing tonight:

There are a whole bunch more dreams I've had that I think can only be explained by supersymmetry.  I'm going to leave you guys totally hanging on that one.

3. What are you going to eat?

Scott is bringing home Taco Bell.    (Yes, this is a different day now from the mac'n'cheese thing.)

BROWN = TOMORROW

1. Is:

Nonlinear, but I can't produce the math to prove it.

That seems to be some kind of trigger code for my mind to go blank every time I look at it.

3. Are you going to laugh?

Like a mad scientist, yes.

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I've heard it for years.  People see me coming, I trigger some sort of urgent prompt within their souls, and no matter that they've never seen me before in their life and know nothing about me, I am casually and sometimes very publicly chided for not correctly performing socially on demand.  "Oh, c'mon, SMILE, it can't be ~that~ bad."

 

I have Asperger's.  Smiling doesn't come naturally to me.

 

I've been living with a very painful and somewhat debilitating nervous system disorder for 20 years with no relief whatsoever unless I actually go under anesthesia of some kind.

 

In the back of my mind I live with the horrible deaths of loved ones and a mother living in a nearly vegetative and unresponsive state in a nursing home.  Most people take their mothers for granted, even at my age.

 

I have been professionally trained to smile at customers for PAY, and I'm very good at that and customer service, pushing all my feelings aside.

 

So today.  I went through physical therapy that nearly had me in tears.  I parked in a handicapped slot at the grocery store afterward.  I used my shopping cart to help me walk around and picked up only a handful of items.  The chick bagging my groceries apparently took offense at the completely unconscious dour face I may have been making (I was also ducking and not making eye contact, something I have a problem with when my pain levels spike.)  I got The Look and that immortal chide.  "Smile.  You'll feel better.  I'm tellin' ya."  Didn't really get a smile back from her as she said it.  In fact, she was looking at me kinda sideways.

 

I felt rotten enough to blow it off and just leave.  No offer to help me out, although I was obviously moving pretty slowly and had difficulty lifting my sack.  Normally I just move along and don't give a rip.  I've heard it so many times, it's simply a waste of human brain tissue to care.  However.

 

The Asperger's makes it hard for me to read expressions, but after some reflection, I've decided that wasn't a friendly expression, and didn't show any sign of caring about me as a person.  In fact, oddly, this was probably the first face telling me to smile that wasn't smiling itself.  Could she have possibly taken it personally that I was having a bad day?  Does she have the right to tell me my bad day is offending her in the form of a public chide to smile, as if I'm a bad person if I don't?

 

I retailed for 5 years.  I worked a hotel desk for nearly 2 years.  I did years of food service before that.  I have never *once* told someone to smile, even in jest, and have never *expected* a customer to smile at me, much less required it.  I was the one being paid to smile, right?  And you never know who might have just come from a funeral, or has a migraine, or just found out they have cancer, or whatever.  You simply cannot judge by a person's face in only a few seconds that the mere act of smiling will make their day better.  You cannot assume that a person you don't know is simply cranky and needs you to correct their social behavior.

 

I called the manager.  I apologized up and down for making such a weird phone call, and for not taking care of it while I was in the store.  I told him my work history, that I understand customer service issues and protocols, and I totally understand that the person bagging my groceries was younger and way more inexperienced than me with life.  But I told him it bothered me all the way home.  I couldn't help it.  I was having a hard day, and a person paid to smile at me was getting after me for not smiling, as if she'd taken offense at *my* behavior.  It was not her place to do that, or to tell me to smile.  If it had been someone on the street, fine.  But not someone who is being PAID to service *me*.  I do not have to perform on demand to a youngster with an attitude about the way a total stranger should approach life.

 

It was difficult making the choice to call the manager.  I told him that.  I told him I didn't want to complain about something that seems so trivial.  But I think he understood.  It's NOT trivial if it makes a person feel bad.  Believe me, I would LOVE to just pop smiles out right and left.  I would love to challenge the people who tell me to smile to trade bodies with me for just 5 minutes, and keep up a happy looking smile while they occupy my body.  I think the shock of finding themselves in this body would curl them up on the floor in instant weeping and begging to get out.  Me, I'm used to the pain.  I just plug along.  I hate making a big deal out of feeling bad.  Negative attention is embarrassing.  So, people think I'm dour.  Crabby.  They lump me into being negative, and all I have to do is flip the positive switch, and the world will be a better place.

 

I talked to Scott on the phone.  He helps me get through so much stuff.  He told me I should have looked up at her and worked up a really freaky smile like Wednesday when she came out of the Happy Hut in Addams Family Values.  Crack me up.

 

 

Or, maybe I should work up a really ~evil~ smile...

 

                   

 

 

 

 

Or something that looks so mental that it freaks the person out.

 

 

 

 

 

That's what I love so much about Scott.  He totally gets me, accepts me, and forgives me for who I was born to be.