What was the last thing you drank?
Hot chocolate. I so love hot chocolate.

Where's your cell phone?
I just want to say right now that I NEVER get weird calls on my cell because I'm unlisted and I'm on a no call list, but an 800# that reverses back to "Will Kemp" from New York came through earlier, and I'm like ok, Will Kemp wants to talk to me... No, I'm not calling it back. Someone prolly wants to sell me something. If he wanted to talk to me bad enough he'd have left voice mail.

Who was the last person you talked to on the phone for more than an hour?
That used to happen every time my dad called, but lately he seems to have himself on an egg timer, and I'm wondering what's going on. You never realize how much you'll miss those calls full of instructions on what to do when he dies, like making sure to yank his gold teeth out with a pliers before the funeral home gets them and so no one will dig up his grave to get them, and I'm all like Dad, I am NOT straddling your dead body with tools and tearing up your face to get the gold, I'll go to jail for murder and senior abuse, and he's all like It's ok, you have the right to do it because I told you to, and I'm all like Dad, I do NOT want the nightmares that'll give me the rest of my life... We have some really fun conversations, they stress me out. I wonder if someone told him I'm stressing out and now he isn't talking to me. My stress is getting very complicated.

Do you know anything about baseball?
I watch Scott run his fantasy baseball teams over his shoulder. I tell him his players are dogs and laugh at what his coworker writes about him and ask him over and over how much money he's going to lose if he doesn't get his rank up. Watching him sweat is a sport unto itself, cracks me up.

Do you prefer to listen to music through headphones or on a stereo?
Headphones, and I'll tell you why. In fact, I've got really expensive headphones that super block outer noise. The last thing I wanna hear when I'm trying to listen to a youtube or some music is people screaming on whatever show Scott is watching, because it's usually bloody and terrible and ridiculous. We get along great because I have these awesome headphones.

Do you use those little kitchen clips to close bags of chips that you've opened?
We don't eat chips. Solves a lot more problems than you think.

If you made your own survey, would it piss you off you saw people giving smart ass answers as if you were asking stupid questions?
Bingo, this survey maker has *issues*. Getting a few good questions, and bam, attitude.

Does the story of the Titanic interest you?
And now I can't help saying that the person who answered these questions before me is one of the single most boring survey takers I've seen in 8 years. ~wow~ I've never seen IQs go in reverse before. I've seen them stall out and stultify, but this one can't be human. Is it possible to epic fail a survey?

What channel do you watch most often?

I haven't been watching tv much lately. I went on this book bender and slammed my brain through 6 of them back to back, most of which were 400+ pages, and tv kinda seems lame right now.

Have you ever voluntarily read the Bible?
I can't tell you how fun it is to know it better than the door knockers who come to my house.

Do you use a lot of slang or do you prefer to speak properly?
"I don't really know." See, this is what I'm talking about. This person is filling out the survey like they're from another planet and aren't quite sure what is being asked of them.

What's your favorite salad dressing besides ranch?
I make my own from scratch. It's nearly impossible to find a bottled dressing ~anywhere~ that isn't spiked with lemon or "natural flavor", even when you get balsamic.

Why is it that pizza always tastes so much better left over?
It doesn't. If you are hungry enough to eat leftover pizza and too lazy to make something better or there just isn't anything else to eat, then yeah, it tastes really good. If you really think about old pizza, it's just stale sweet bread with a few sorta strong flavors on it, which is sometimes more attractive than going to all the trouble of pancakes and eggs, especially if your blood sugar is bottomed out. Left over pizza is an illusion.

Do you like to wear high heels?
I will never, ever forget the first time I saw a girl walking in wedges, way back when they were first invented. She had a hard time walking on chat and getting on the bus, and everyone jeered because they looked so weird. But her family had money and she was on the leading edge of fashion, and the next year all the girls were wearing wedges. Except me. I love my ankles. Ten Reasons to Stash Those Stilettos

Why do you think most teenagers don't enjoy reading?
Um... really? Blanket statement alert. I think the activity of reading has so drastically changed that it's not even the same thing it used to be for a lot of people. Between technology and media driven formula, I'm surprised so many teens aren't doing other things instead of loading the internet up with hundreds of thousands of teen surveys...

Do you enjoy reading? Why?
Having to laboriously read labels because of food allergies is a drag, and the redundancy of retweets and reblogs seems like such a waste, but yeah, I do get a kick out of other people putting words out there for me to find. It's kinda like brain sex.

Is your computer more than 5 years old?
We are finding out the hard way that upgrading to windows 7 suddenly makes our software obsolete. Now I have to pay twice as much for what I need from Print Shop just to get the same amount of product I was getting 5 years ago because the new computer won't interface with it. Oh, that wiley windows 7, I bet all those companies got so excited at the new excuse to boost the market.

Do you think that eventually people will run out of unique questions to ask on surveys?
I will never run out of unique answers, no matter how many times some of these questions are repeated.

How often do you take over the counter pain medications like Tylenol and Aleve?
Almost never. Do you know how many otc pain relievers contain ibuprofen? I'm allergic to that. And acetaminophen can mess with your liver. One of the most common ailments that affect people as they get older is liver problems. Tylenol May Cause Serious Liver Damage

Do you find thongs uncomfortable to wear?
After washing a teenager's thongs throughout middle and high school, I'm so put off that I can't even think they're cute or sexy any more. I also worked in the intimates dept in a big retail chain for several years. I've played with more panties and thongs than anyone I know, thousands and thousands and thousands of them. I think thongs are a gimmick to make money off the self obsessed.

What’s the unhealthiest thing you’ve done in the past week?
I don't know that anything I do or eat could be called unhealthy, honestly. I guess breathing the dust stirred up in the chicken pen. Silly chickens. They were bored, pretending to freak out while they're all excited about snacks is ~*fun*~. Youngsters...

What’s the furthest you’ve gone sexually? Is this more or less than your friends?
The funniest thing about this question is that I really do have good answers and it kills some people that I never say what they are. I know several people who have 'gone farther' doing stupid things than I have because they were nidiots wanting drugs or something, but I seem to be mysteriously more acutely aware of certain details than most people.

Tell us the story of how you met your ex.
It would be a lot more interesting to tell you the story of how it all blew up into the long dark night of the soul.

Have you ever blocked anyone on Xanga? If so, why?
I blocked over 5000 people on facebook just to see if I could. Incidentally, it's impossible to block Mark Zuckerberg, facebook's founder. I tried every which way.

If you’ve never had an orgasm, why not? Are you curious about what it feels like?
I've lived with a back injury nearly all my life that sets off occasional spontaneous orgasms at the worst possible very public times, stories for around the campfire, I guess.

Do you alphabetize anything? (your DVD collection, books etc)
Yes to anything that is set up to automatically alphabetize itself.

When writing essays, do you have trouble sticking to the word limit?
How can I *possibly* hold that down to only 50 pages? What do they want, a ~summary~?!? Yeah, I've had to really work on that.

Are there certain answers to survey questions that make you feel sorry for the taker? (For example Who was your last kiss? I’ve never been kissed)
I've never felt sorry for myself just because a question has been asked of me. Ok, I lie. I plunge into dark abysmal depressions and take days on some of these surveys, because I'm HONEST. I soul search. I face the crap that life dishes out. I've said it before, if you fill these things out correctly, it's like seeing a psychologist.

Do you own any cookery books?
I've stolen a few...

Do you understand people who have no desire to travel?
I don't understand people who are proud to be living on the same little patch of land that the previous 8 generations lived and died on. I'd have thrown myself out a window. And then I'd have gotten up and stomped off, because there probably wasn't a window high enough to properly throw myself out of.

Would you like to receive flowers from a boyfriend, or would you prefer a different type of gift?
I think the nicest gift anyone can give me is peace and quiet. Usually doesn't last very long.

Do music videos affect how much you like a song?
I can't tell you what this one has done for my life.

Do you know a lot about business?
I am really, really good at inventory.

Tell us about something you’ve been worrying about lately.
If I wind up being expected to come back and do another life, I think I'd really like a twin next time. That intrigues me. I'm not stirring up near the amount of trubba I could be, I need a cohort. Knowing the irony that haunts my soul, though, I'm sure that would backfire and I'd wind up being my own worst enemy.

What’s your birthstone and do you actually like it? What’s your favourite birthstone?
I can't keep track of these things, I'm busy digging through youtubes and doing my laundry.

Do you believe that short men are often arrogant or angry to try to make up for their height?
I think men are cool. I wrote that. I mean it.

When falling asleep, do you ever feel like you stopped breathing?
I get the coolest most intense dreams when my CO2 builds up. I don't actually stop breathing, and I don't have sleep apnea. I get too relaxed and take a long time between breaths.

Was your first kiss perfect?
I have never had a perfect kiss. I'm not sure anyone has. Chasing the perfect kiss in our dreams is a brain drug, it gets us through hard stuff.

Exactly what is perfection to you?
If a moment is perfect, you have to let it go as quickly as it came, and it will never come back, or else you ruin it. Perfection, in our minds, is hanging onto that moment, but that's an illusion.

Do you ever feel like you think too much about the person you love?
I wonder what the world would be like right now if everyone thought about the people they love instead of the people they hate.

Are you someone who has to analyze everything?
I've spent a lifetime ignoring what makes other people tick, I'm not about to start now.

Whats the last thing that scared the hell out of you?
Giant spider in my kitchen. Nothing gets your mind off like nearly stepping on a spider as wide as your bare foot. (Wow, this one is old, I wrote that months ago.)

Has anyone ever made you cry just by saying I love you?
This has way deeper significance when you know that person literally cannot say anything else and hasn't been able to have a conversation with you in over two years, and you know it's getting close, and they look you in the eyes and tell you they love you, and you know they mean it, and there are millions of unspoken words that come with it that let you know everything is forgiven and nothing is in the way any more. Yes, you go home and bawl your eyes out. ****Ok, I let this one sit awhile, and I keep coming back and reading it, and it comes across weird and creepy, so I'll clarify a little. My mom died a long slow death from several big strokes that left her very deficit both physically and cognitively. I was not close to my mom growing up, felt rather picked on continually for what none of us realized was Asperger's, never felt forgiven, and never really felt loved, although I'm sure she never meant for that to happen. When she started having strokes there were so many unfinished emotions that never got resolved, and despite the relief I felt that I no longer had to tolerate her unceasing judgement, years of taking care of her and watching her slowly spiral down were anguishing. I learned over that time that nothing means more to our lives on this planet than resolving our relationship issues before it's too late. There is just nothing else comparable to the real meaning of life that goes round and round your head, if you don't get those solved you feel like you failed somehow at why you were here. During her last couple of years I was seeing a psychologist for help with my Asperger's and social skills and whatnot, really eye opening stuff for me, and I began to realize and understand what it must have been like for *her* to raise a child like me. She's not a bad person, but without her own social safety net and support system, she was lost and flying blind, and made ever so many mistakes. My memories of my childhood are fairly tragic in places. By the time she reached her last summer, I was reaching a place where I could let all that go, where I wanted God to erase it all and just make it ok, because we really had made it through our stuff, and I no longer wanted or needed validation or recompense or some kind of understanding or forgiveness. I just loved her and wished I could go back in time and give her lots of hugs and tell her everything was going to be all right. And that is the magic. The last time I saw her awake and somewhat responsive, and I guess this sometimes happens when people with brain problems near death seem to snap back into momentary coherency, she suddenly locked eyes with me and grinned so big like she was not only glad to see me (that had never happened in my life), but like we had a big fun secret just between the two of us. And for the first time in my life, as well, especially with the Asperger's, I locked eyes right back at her and grinned right back, and every bit of it was "I love you, too", no hesitation, no baggage. That moment, as in a previous question further up, was PERFECT. And then I went home and bawled my eyes out, because one moment was all we got. She went blank and never looked at me again, and died a couple of months later.

Who is the last person you pushed out of your life? Why?
I'm not sure if it's so much push as flee. Maybe I push for a reason to be there, I find it so easy to just disappear from people. This has everything to do with when I disappeared off the internet.

Do you have any life changing plans within the next 6 months?
Yes.

Do you have any awkward music downloaded on your ipod?
It's not at all awkward that I don't own an ipod.

How do you feel about the first person you kissed?
I just discovered that the Priceline Negotiator isn't dead after all! I have a thing for William Shatner.

What was the first thing you did on your birthday?
Thanked God I made it this far.

Has anyone left a lasting impression on you recently?
The person I swiped this survey from. I don't have the heart to erase this. "Not really. Like am I supposed to hate Emily's twin? Because she dresses slutty? I don't hate her." It just cracks me up.

As of right now, how do you feel about your future?
Well, if Montgomery Ward can come back from epic fail, anything's possible. We got a little catalog in the mail this week.

Who is the last person you ran into unexpectedly?
Awkward run-ins are my forte. I have a knack for making them especially awkward because I don't mind public embarrassment and humiliation as much as other people do.

Do you think your ex is over you?
I never think about this kind of stuff.

What kind of perfume do you wear?
I'm allergic, wah.

Is it expensive?
And I'm allergic to everyone else wearing perfume. You guys suck.

What was the last songs you sang out loud?

Is sex something special, or just for fun?
Everybody wants to know about my sex life, it just kills people that I won't say anything about how it all works for me. Kinda like when Vulcans go all pon farr, humans suddenly grow antennae and wanna watch.

Are you too sensitive for your own good?
The ironical bit is that, even though the Asperger's has my nervous system wired like I'm tripping through mine fields, I'm often maddeningly calloused and indifferent to other people's emotional needs and feelings.

I'm not terribly girly, so this one should be a challenge.

Do you wear: alot of makeup, some makeup, no makeup

This really is a big deal to people. And it's an even bigger deal when you eventually have to cave to admitting you're so allergic to just about everything out there that you're *stuck* showing your real face to the world. I've never been one to be vain, and goodness knows I don't have a clue when it comes to self awareness, but I noticed a long time ago in college that I really do get treated better when I wear makeup. The incredible thing is that even without makeup, people tell me my skin is "flawless", that I look far younger than I am, and one women even went into a weird rant against God and the cosmos that at ten years younger she looked like hell and stomped out the door with her cigarettes and alcohol. I dread the inevitable coming up, people finding out how old I am, because we always wind up having weird one-sided conversations that embarrass me to death. But even so, it's actually really true, when I used to be able to wear makeup, particularly eye makeup, I definitely got treated better by all kinds of people. I've never understood that.

Whats your favorite makeup?
This is already making me miss makeup, I miss playing with it. I was real bad about forgetting I had it on at work and didn't realize I'd smear it rubbing my eyes and then handle customers for two hours before I got a break and noticed my makeup was screwed. Took me a few years to figure out the reason my eyes were itching all the time was because I'm allergic to the makeup.

Could you go out in public without make up?
The fun part is thinking you can really slouch at home on a day off, and that's the day you wind up with an airway reaction to 'green' cleaners and you look like s#*t at the clinic. I'm such a ball of nerves any more that I wash my hair first thing just to make sure I'm ready for an emergency.

Do you do your nails oftenly?
I got my nails done for Halloween in a salon one year and wound up with a fungal infection messing up my left thumbnail like a zombie for months, how ironic is that.

What color are your fingernails?
Clean. When you are in nursing school, they point out how icky pretty fingernails are underneath. People rarely wash underneath them or go out of their way to put sanitizer on or underneath pretty nails, but never fail to use those nails to scratch and touch *everything*.

How about your toe nails?
Ingrown toenail surgery is a bigger deal than you'd think. I once saw an x-ray of a guy's foot where infection had gone into the bone, and once that happens, bone starts dissolving real quick. Just a heads up.

Heels or flats?
You don't want me anywhere near heels. I tend to fling myself headlong like a projectile. I've destroyed my ankles on stairs. Not cool doing that holding a small child.

Eyeliner or mascara?
I actually like the whole guyliner thing, but Scott flat refuses to try it.

Lip gloss or lipstick?
A gay friend once told me I have the perfect lips for lipstick and he seemed a little upset that I don't bother wearing any. (I think maybe being allergic to something in lipstick heightens my lip picking.) He had a huge poster of Marilyn Monroe in his bedroom. That is the only time in my life anyone has put me anywhere near some kind of pedestal. I really don't think about my lips very much, I guess. Should I?

Eyelash curler or tweezers
I have a double curse. My eyelashes grow real thick and long (nice, right?) but in crazy directions (sux), and then they get loose and fall out every time my eyelids puff up around pollinating trees (super sux). And I'm too allergic to adhesives to boost up with false eyelashes (uber super sux). Btw, did you know you can get eyebrow toupes? False Eyebrow Purchasing Options I've never tried them. I'm so allergic to adhesives that I can't even tolerate pedia patches with event monitors without getting hives.

Vans or converse?
I guess this is a thing. Vans vs. Converse, the ultimate showdown | The Las Lomas Page Since I live in mid-continent, it doesn't seem to be a thing around here. I could be wrong, but I live in the woods. Extreme sports around here involves compound bows, black powder guns, and off road vehicles.

Nike or adidas?
I picked up these cute Sketchers bikers a couple of years ago.

Myspace or facebook
It took two months of patient wrangling just to get into my myspace enough to try to delete it, and it's still there. I can't get back in. Facebook is very user friendly, I deleted the crap out of my old one and started a new one.

Pink or red?
Blue. blue lips - AOL Image Search Results I once dreamed I had half my face tattooed the way David Lee Roth had his face painted on his Eat 'Em and Smile album.

Black or white
Pink is the new black ~and~ the new white, the new blue in India, the now it's the new purple. I wouldn't be surprised if pink were the new pink.

Rock or pop
With me it's more like a metal or new age thing, depending on my mood.

What color are your socks
See my sox.

What color is your bra?
I want to get a red one.

Are you wearing skinny jeans?
I love flared legs. I have this thing. It was practically fashionable in the 70's to get your jeans caught in your bike chain.

You think you set or follow trends?
I wait until they go back outa fashion and then cannonball in and splash everyone. I'm very annoying like that.

Have you ever done something just to fit in?
I've never fit in with anyone in my life, even when I tried. Once in awhile a group builds up and follows me around like Buckaroo Banzai during the ending credits, but I tend to attract fringe people that other people like to bomb and then they start wars in my comments and then I kinda freak out about being pushed to be the rebel leader by people going through breakdowns of some kind. You all are on your own if you start fighting. I don't take sides any more.

Do you go to the mall oftenly?
I drive past it a lot. They've got cool stuff in there, but if they can't accommodate me at 7 a.m., see ya.

Do you have many friends?
They're afraid to admit it right now. I had a very typical aspie meltdown one year and obliterated my sites, and I'm blown away that even after all that, they still regularly traffic through every week checking on me, even during the whole year and a half I had nothing on it. *snif* I mean, that gets you ~right here~. But yeah, it's really impressive, I have some really really good friends out there all over the place, and I love you guys.

Do you dislike any of your friends?
No. I actually like all of them. It's my own personality that gets in the way.

Whats your BESTEST friend's ever name?
Scott, always gonna be Scott.

Have you ever had a down moment with that person?
Oh, heck yeah. Two whole years all we could say to each other was we want a divorce. 19 years married on August 5th. If you can't figure out how to be best buds with someone by the time you get old, you wind up going through a bunch of hard crap all by yourself, and that sux. I'd rather have a friend around. We laugh a *lot*.

Most memorable moment with that person?
Cupcake. You had to be there. aspie lovin'

Who was your most recent missed call from?
Let's see, that was 23 days ago. That's not so much an indicator that I'm johnny-on-the-spot answering my phone, but that everyone I know is so used to me not liking to use the phone that they rarely call. They are well trained.

Who was the last person you called?
My dad. You all need to call your dads. Don't give me junk about how they this or that, or you don't have time, or whatever, just call. You'll find out how much I took from my dad when the book comes out.

What does your 5th message in your inbox say?
Scott was laughing that he accidentally texted a pic of his leprosy to the wrong number and how they must've wtf'd.

Don't worry, it's old scarring from an e.coli infection from when he let his legs hang in the river during a canoe trip, and now that he's older he really has to watch easy internal bleeding under the scarring because his skin integrity is so shot. (edit several days later- ok, it's actually pretty scary and we're going into the doctor every day and they're running every test they can think of ruling out everything they can, because they think it's gone autoimmune).

Who was it from?
I like making up cool Wabble game names to intrigue people and then putting on crazy unrelated passwords so no one can get in except my secret pals. Random trivia during redundant questioning.

Single or taken?
I have to drink a lot of chocolate milk today. I bought some because my niece and nephew spent the night this week, and no one drank any, and now it's sitting there with an expiration date. I'm clocking out doses of chocolate milk now because I'm diabetic. I can have one cup every two hours without spiking as long as I don't have any other carbs today. Getting a lot of dairy protein and calcium! And chocolate. I'll have to watch that, my heart wants to race when I have too much. I heard dogs die of heart attacks when they eat chocolate. I have no idea if this is true. I know I've wound up in the ER a couple times after going a little crazy on hot chocolate. Likewise, I have to be careful with coffee and tea, as well.

If so, by who?
In other random babbling, I'm so happy that Nerdist got picked up for tv on BBCA that I twitterpated all over my dvr this last weekend.

What color are your eyes
Well, to me they look like a weird yellow brown, but most people just say I have brown eyes. I get kinda freaked out looking at eyes for any real length of time, even in the mirror, and after avoiding this question on I don't know how many surveys, I thought What the heck, what color ARE my eyes? Well, I spent nearly an hour doing a whole study, using my cell phone and computer. The light in the kitchen makes my eye look yellower, the light in my bathroom makes it look browner, and I had all kinds of fun zooming and pixelating.

Scott had to go look at his eyes in the mirror after I showed him this.   

Whats your favorite color?
I get the biggest kick out of this one.

What song are you listening to right now?
I keep preempting the questions, don't I?

Do you like to dance?
The funnest dancing I ever did was 'showtimes' at a nice 50'/60's lounge with a long food bar that I cooked for and assembled. I got to wear suspenders with awesome pins all up and down them and a cool driver's cap and a bartender armband, and we'd get on top of the bars or out on the dance floor and do dance routines to certain songs that came up every 15 or 20 minutes.

Do you like to sing?
I love to sing, spent 10 years in choir classes all through public school so I could go on field trips and get in plays and stuff, and then I got into a church choir so I could be on tv one year, which was fun.

Do you believe in
What, dangling sentences? I follow the Ancient Alien guy on Twitter, he gets into the most hilarious fights with people about beliefs.

Do you believe in love at first sight?
That's usually what happens with food.

How about true love
True love is a lie when you come up super allergic to citrus and have to give up lemon pie forever.

Do you believe in bros before hoes?

Are you a whore?
I tried that with Scott a few times, he doesn't seduce easily. Too nerdy, too suspicious, too messed over by other women in his past.

Are most of your friends guys or girls?
I've never tallied. I was surprised to find out at MegaCon one year how many webmasters will slyly sidle up and very quietly introduce themselves because they fear being outed and shredded by rival web gangs, and one in particular that I'd admired from afar turned out to be a really cool guy instead of the really cool slightly insinuated lezbi girl, which I guess is a good way to hide from the public if you fear wrath somewhere, just pass the hot potato on or something and rarely speak up on boards kind of thing. I never learned that, I got stoned a lot. The bad kind. Web rocks hurt just as bad as real rocks, and when you have a compulsion to pop back up and nyahnyah to draw fire, yeah, lotta rocks. Where was I? Oh, yeah, it was a great time, really stirred up the fans, had a blast being shot at, and now I think it's just all too funny. What the heck, frenemies, friends, it's all good.

Favorite candy?
I've kinda been cheating on the Doctor and Connor Temple and started hanging out with these guys.

Favorite ice cream flavor?
I no can haz. wah.

Ever cried yourself to sleep?
That's a good way to drown in your own snot, and no, I can't even imagine being able to sleep after I've cried that hard, am I right? Not intending to make fun of anyone crying, because it sux. When you can cry for several hours till your throat hurts real bad and your head hurts and you feel too sick to eat, your life is sucking so bad that you couldn't go to sleep in the first place.

Ever slept on your computer?
I once slept on my phone and came unglued like a cat when it started ringing. I know people who can't sleep without their phones on all the time because they're so hooked into needing live broadcasts to survive, THAT would strip my sanity and leave me curled up in a gutter. I would look like John Bigbooty in the asylum.

Longest you've used your computer?
Years. We had one that completely crashed twice and limped along like a cripple on staticky dial up, and I was building a huge website I couldn't even pull up to see properly, just had to go on the layout I could see in my head. I'll never forget the first time I saw the whole thing pull up all at once while I was goofing off in a medical terminology computer classroom, I nearly wept it was so beautiful, like a glossy interactive fan magazine. I have dreams of building awesome 3D holographic sites in a futuristic world where computer coding is alive in a pandimensional field and touch screens are a joke. I wake up sad sometimes. Then I get some coffee and get more ideas and get busy again.

Whose your #1 top?
Me. Weird Al said it best, I can be my own best friend and I can send myself for pizza.

Why?
Because when all the chips are down, if you can't count on yourself to save your own life, who CAN you count on? And can other people count on you? I am the Bruce Willis of the whole believing in one's self angle.

Favorite smiley?
           >=)

Are you addicted to something?
Youtube. I like salvaging broken fan vids that stop playing right or aren't embeddable. I collect youtubes like some people collect ball cards, action figures, and hot wheels.

Do you consider yourself a myspace freak?
I geeked out over there for awhile making Willy Wonka and other stuff, it was fun. Got really sick of Tom. Did you know there's a way to rewrite youtube codes? I totally had it down.

Do you edit your profile oftenly?
I was really surprised to find out I still have one here when I came back from my internet vacation. I'd forgotten I filled that out.

Rock or pop?
Seriously? Duplicate questioning? Maybe my answer wasn't acceptable. Um, I also kinda like electronic dance music like iiO. What genre is Eiffel 65? They're like several things all squashed together and sorta slightly grunged or something.

Have you ever been in a fist fight?
I grew up having to face down farm animals 10 times my weight. I scared a couple of guys half to death one time when they started tickling me at a party and I had them both down in an eyeblink because tickling someone with Asperger's is always a huge mistake, one's chest was bleeding and the other's shirt was ripped, and I don't remember how.

Do you want to?
Adamantly, no. I don't understand people trying to goad me into fighting. I come from 400 years of Mennonites. People think that means wimp, but we're pretty good at killing things.

Have you ever thought about having sex?
This was an abrupt pivot.

Have you ever babysat, if so, who?
I have too many bad memories of how my mom used to send me to friends' houses and I'd be stuck with monstrous brats for hours, over and over and over. You know what? You had 'em, you sit with 'em. I raised my own, I didn't farm them out while I pursued a career or went back to college. If I couldn't find a way to do that and still be there for my kids, I didn't do it, and I still managed to get a degree and hold a job. Part of that commitment was that I loved my kids and didn't trust anyone, so it all worked out. Not crazy about hearing other people's sob stories about their kid going to jail or getting pregnant or being a drunk or dropping out of school or whatever when you know the kids got stuck with babysitters and/or raising themselves.

Have you ever waited soo long for something you wanted to happen so bad?
This is why I get up so early and get my shopping and traveling and whatever else done, because the lines get ridiculous later.

Are you content with your life?
Yep. Facing a future dismally bemoaning my lot in life seems like too much of a drag.

Who is your role model?
I'm clearly developing some baditude and getting cranky with some of these last couple of questions, so let's see, lately it's the Hillywood Show, who I have watched grow up on youtube. They recently got a big public promo for their own music video, very cool.

Whats your best feature?
I keep forgetting this is supposed to be a girly survey. I had to go ask Scott what my best feature is because I don't know how to gauge these things. He said I've got pretty eyes. But he also likes werewolves and vampires and zombies, so I guess the yellow part I think I see in my eyes is becoming.

Your worst feature?
Scott's got a fever and is on antibiotic right now, so I'm not sure asking him this one really counts. He's never been the sort to call me names or talk down to me, so it's anyone's guess. If I had to complain about one particular thing that is wonky about me, I'd say I'm not entirely thrilled with the way my ears seem to be getting bigger as I get older. I once saw a picture of a 100 year old woman whose ears had spread out like pancakes on the sides of her head, and I cringe to think someday I could have really big ears. They've been so tiny most of my life.

Are you racist?
Completely. I really loathe spiders and all their kind.

Are you a sexist?
The whole neighborhood is sexist, I'm not allowed to keep a rooster around the place, although I am stubbornly defying them.

Do you discriminate?
Heck yeah, every time I see someone hanging around the front of a store with flyers in their hand I tell them don't talk to me. Actually, I have to do that because once I stop to talk, I tend to out-argue just for the game of it, and Scott has to get my arm and drag me off talking.

Are you ashamed of talking to someone or being seen talking to someone who isnt as popular as you?
I have a facial recognition problem, half the time I don't know who the heck I'm talking to even if I've seen them before. Keeping track of popularity seems more laborious than keeping track of family birthdays, so I just avoid everyone in general.

Do you talk shit?
I can go from totally silent for 3 hours to TMI without warning, so don't ask me about anything personal unless you wanna be grossed out. As for gossip, no, I don't care to do that. I'm usually disappointed in people who succumb to that.

Have you ever talked shit?
I tend to point out the obvious, the conflicts of interest, and incongruencies. People don't like me getting interested enough to open my mouth because I enjoy pointing out the flaws in the person talking the shit.

Do you care about what other people think about you?
No, seriously I don't. I don't have the craving to be loved all the time.

Have you ever not been yourself to impress someone?
I think the only way I impress people is just being myself and not having a clue.

Have you ever done yourself VERY pretty with so much makeup and a whole different outfit to make a guy like you?
I'm not sure that's what guys like. I've done that to make other girls uncomfortable, though. They get so territorial, it's like putting the biggest mask on makes you the winner.

Have you ever betrayed someone?
I've heard other people go on about being betrayed, and I've never gotten what the deal is. Betrayal implies you're holding secret cards that can get you outed in some way, so if someone rats you out and you can't trust them, that only means you smile and keep playing along and then push them out of the car in traffic. Metaphorically. I've never done that, but I know people who really do that.

Water or soda?
Never soda. Have you wondered where all that carbon dioxide goes once you ingest it? Your body doesn't use it, it has to get rid of it. You don't burp it all out, so your body has to find other ways to get it out by dissolving it in the your bloodstream, which overloads you on carbon dioxide. Ok, technically this has never been proven, but it's a working hypothesis I have about why I feel better when I don't drink pop of any kind. Or it could be this. Flame retardant chemical found in US soft drinks

Coke or pepsi?
I avoid all pop like the plague anyway because they generally list 'natural flavors' in their ingredients. I'm very allergic to lemon and reactive to all other citrus, and lemon is a natural flavor that is used to boost all kinds of bottled and canned foods. You wouldn't believe how often you ingest lemon around the clock.

Look behind you, whats behind you?

You've no idea how much this question creeped me out. I mean, what if I'd turned around and there had been a spider peeking at me from behind that bale of straw?

Have you ever been rejected or dumped?
Someone was killed in the process. It'll get creepy in the book.

Have you ever thought about how school would be like if someone didnt go there?
Especially if the mom is the coach of the girls volleyball team her daughter is on, and she never gets benched no matter how bad she plays. And she's on the school board...

Do you hate anyone?
I'm not really into hating. It's a waste of time and energy I could be doing something else with.

Do you love anyone?
I love these horses.  They're French.

Have you ever gotten drunk?
ER cocktails are a surprise.

Would you pass a drug test?
Epic winning. I'm the only person I know who has managed to come off 25 years of medically sanctioned benzodiazapine addiction without replacing it with other meds. They laugh at me because it was always low dose, but hey, my GABA receptors were ~wrecked~ and the taper took two years. That whole bug crawling and biting sensation thing is *real*. I've heard from several people that benzo withdrawal sux as bad as heroin withdrawal.

Whats your locker number?
I still have stress dreams about forgetting locker combinations and finding out I'm still in college and failing all my classes and a huge paper is due in one hour and stuff like that. Missing the bus. I'm so scarred.

Do you have good hygine?
Ok, I can't take this anymore. Ask me if I can SPELL. omg. My hygiene is fine, thank you. I've been fixing some of the questions, but I'm done with that.

Have you ever danced infront of the mirror?
Never. I use mirrors for important things, like seeing if there is a bug on me somewhere.

Ever checked out someone from the same sex?
Scott's been checked out several times right in front of me, like *wow*. He must be really hot. I told him if I was a guy I'd be super gay for him, too.

Ever bit your toenail?
Scott used to bite his toenails and taught his little girl to do it. I don't care what else gets said about me, I can't imagine stooping to that level. I wish there'd been such a thing as cell phone cameras and facebook back when this was going on, I'd have shopped those out everywhere. #heathens

Ever slept outside your house?
We have a word around here, *bugs*. If you've never lived in the woods, you have no clue how many bugs exist on this planet.

Been to a sleepover?
Hey, we just had one of those this week! Little kids and school supplies and lots of running around being loud and silly. And now it's all quiet again.

Peed in your pants WHEN YOU WERE A CHILD, TODDLER?
Emphasis? Is that really necessary? And is this really worth answering?

What's your wallpaper?
I'm always amazed when teens or pre-teens making surveys go from an inane really low IQ question straight to something that involves technology. I can tell this one is burning out. Getting tempting to count and see if there really are 100 questions here, but I'm getting tired of this too and don't care any more.

11th person on your contact list?
I usually don't go beyond 5. And I'm usually the one at the top of other people's contact list, I'm so handy in a crisis or a pinch.

Laptop or desktop?
Well, as soon as we commit to wireless printing and scanning, I'll say laptop. Which I'm actually on right now. I'm a fence rider.

Ever asked for money?
I think I should have been paid for this one, or at least gotten a coupon for a free item at the grocery store. These things take days to fill out.

Did you enjoy this survey?
I'm wondering what exactly about this survey means it's girly? Well, ok, there were a number of questions about how catty I could be, I guess. Shame that means girly. We now direct traffic back to Wil Wheaton's bedhead report. You, too, can get this kind of breaking news simply by following his twitter feed, along with other super cool stuff, and this is a cool thing to do now thanx to TheBloggess. Prolly the girliest thing about me in this survey is that I've been getting Wil's twitter feed so long that I know everything the guy does. I don't do this with anyone else on the planet. I mean, how many people refuse to name their pet after Wil Wheaton just so they won't ever have to say Wil Wheaton ate a worm or Wil Wheaton beat up someone's dog or....

My neighbors are going to be so surprised when Dr. Parrish ninjas out all over them. >=D heh heh