From Free MySpace Surveys
They named a snow storm after me! #WinterStormJanika I’m sure my friends on the East Coast appreciated all that fun snow. And we’re ripping right through the alphabet this winter, already up to “L” with Leon this week hitting my southern U.S. friends. You can click the pic for more.
This global warming thing was bad back in the 70′s, too, apparently.
Have you ever parked in a handicapped spot?:
No one ever asks if capable people use the button on handicap doors.
Have you ever driven in a carpool lane while alone in your car?:
We drove through Atlanta during rush hour once on the way to MegaCon, y’all be crazy people, you know that, right?
Did you ever fake it in bed?:
No, once the giggling starts it’s all over. I’m also not able to fake my way through other people’s cooking. This is where I really admire actors, if I had to take a bite of apple on set I’d be gagging.
Do you believe you are better looking than all of your friends?:
Have you ever exaggerated the number of women/men you slept with?:
Sometimes you sleep with a cat on your head, but no one ever asks about that, either.
Do you owe a friend money that you have no intention of paying back?:
I’m dreaming big.
If you saw your friend’s spouse with another woman/man would you tell them?:
The reason I’ve lasted this long is because I’m really good at not saying anything. And distraction. I’m really really good at distraction.
I once dressed a busboy from Cheddar’s as Jack Sparrow for a charity event. I’m cool that way.
Are you more comfortable around friends that are not as attractive as you?
I’m aspie, which renders this question moot. I’m attracted to people in a more cartoony or caricaturish kind of way and feel extremely uncomfortable around negative people, no matter how attractive they may look or seem to others. I also don’t dwell on how I look myself. I would make a good dog.
Do you think you are smarter than your girlfriend/boyfriend?:
I used to mock Scott for being a paste eater in school, but he’s surprisingly brilliant about current event and entertainment details and factoids whenever I need them. He’s also pretty hot.
Have you ever thought that your parents would be better off divorced?:
Let’s just skip this one.
Do you think that you are smarter than your parents?
YES, omg yes, a thousand times yes. Let’s just say I wish my parents could have at least been this cool.
Did you ever throw a party at your parents’ house without their knowledge?:
It’s not a party until you bring baby animals into the house.
Do you think your parents did a good job raising you?:
I’m just going to let this speak for itself.
Do you like your mother more than your father?:
‘Like’ never even occurred to me. Ever. I know, I’m awful. And very very aspie-Scorpio. People tend to fear me after awhile, *especially* if I like them. My parents have been at a loss since I was about 3 years old.
Do you believe your parents are proud of you?:
They always feared I’d get tangled up in things like this. Click the pic for more info.
Have you ever wished you were born into a different family?:
This survey creator apparently has ~*~family issues~*~ because we are wringing this one to death. Here, cheer up a little bit.
Do you believe your parents favor your sibling more than you?:
Have you SEEN this??? Click that for info.
I’m a very recent zombie convert and already people left and right are telling me “Don’t overthink this” but I’m betting there are a LOT of people like me ~joyfully~ overthinking, like a new piece of gristle to gnaw on. It’s also hilarious to watch stuff like this.
Do you respect your father?:
I can’t tell you how cool a father like Dr. Evil looks to me.
Have you ever stolen from your parents?:
I turned out like this from my parents. I hope that’s worth some money someday.
Do you think you are better looking than your sibling(s)?:
And based on *that* last question you can see I’m aggressively amassing my army.
Would you report a family member to the cops if they had committed a crime?:
Everyone who knows I know something quietly tenses up…
Do you think you are a good role model for your children?:
My daughter was seeing stuff like this when she was tiny. She turned out way better than she should have.
Do you think you have what it takes to be a good mother/father?:
Then she grew up and got published and now she’s working on a zombie book. She swears I’m the best mom on the planet and is always thanking me for being so cool. I really don’t know what to make of that, but I do know I *never* felt that way about my own parents, so I must have done something right.
Would you be happy with yourself if you turned out like your mother/father?:
THEY weren’t happy they turned out the way they did. Don’t make me go into another one of my ‘happiness’ rants. I always hear the words in this picture in the voice of Senor Cardgage.
Would you say your mother is a great cook?:
I can’t get over what phenomenal cooks my own kiddos turned out to be, since I could never get them into the kitchen when they still lived here. This just came out of my oven, by the way. The mocha half is for me, Scott puts blueberry topping on his half. I love this recipe because it keeps a long time if it’s sealed in the fridge, so I can eat very small amounts over several days. For the mocha part I melt 1/4 c. chocolate chips and stir in 1 tsp. of instant coffee dissolved in 1 tsp. of water, then swirl into half the batter.
Would you be happy to marry a man/woman who is just like your mom/dad?:
I just want to be very clear *again* how close this world came to having another evil villain on its hands through the clashing of my parents.
Do you dislike small children?:
Teeny weeny people are the best.
Do you secretly think babies are ugly?:
I didn’t realize this was a source for entertainment until I put ‘ugly babies’ through a search engine. Click the pic if you want to see more. Keep in mind that unique looks can land some pretty cool film roles.
Have you ever thought your spouse was boring?:
Scott is one of the most surprising people I’ve ever met, and one of the most hyper. It only gets boring when I don’t have the energy to keep up.
Have you lied on your resume?:
I think everyone tries to mask the stench of their lives sooner or later.
Do you really believe you’re going to have a successful career?:
If I don’t believe it, how can it happen?
Have you taken credit for someone else’s work?:
This was my twitter worth last month. I’m terrified that I’ll slip back to something like $3.95 because I’m not tweeting half the amount this month.
Have you ever spied on your co-workers in the bathroom?:
I have gone out of my way to flee coworkers in the bathroom, avoiding that kind of personal TMI at all costs.
Have you ever called in sick to work when you really weren’t?:
On my last job I worked 15 months without a single sick day and no one knew it was the most ill I’d ever been in my life up to that point, so in the way of pulling fakes, I probably out-faked everyone I ever knew.
Do you love your job more than sex?:
My job now IS sex. brain sex, robot style | Arch Heretic Neurotypicals will never get the nirvana I feel when I hyper focus on brain gaming. I love word construction. Words going back and forth through our eyeballs into our brains is freakishly fulfilling for me.
Have you ever disliked someone for being more successful than you?:
There’s a fine line between successful and lucky. And dislike might not be a strong enough word. Yes, I admit to a cozy warm glow in my chest when I heard that person failed after all.
Do you think you drive a more expensive car than you can truly afford?:
I drove mostly junk until about 5 years ago. It’s not a matter of affording as much as simply allocating that money to stuff I gave more priority. I do have a dream car, though. Click this pic to see more.
Are you jealous of people with more money than you?:
I make fun of Scott sometimes when he experiences relative deprivation. I think a maxim of our society is that everyone will feel jealous of other people sometime in their lives, at which point we can either decide to go after what we want or wallow in our self pity. And then I make a pie and he feels better.
Do you believe wives must serve their husbands?:
Here we go, survey creator has a problem with confined roles pressured by a societal group, and this could be either gender pouting over something. Here come my two cents (omg, I’m caving). I grew up being treated like a third worlder because of the belief system my parents immersed me in. Many useless debates dance around the role of female servitude and the psychological deficiencies that bring about these debates. Spring forth, get jobs, find stuff and people you love, and serve humanity, how’s that? If you wind up espoused and popping offspring, great, just don’t mistake your every mood swing (both genders) for the love measuring stick. Crabby is cool, we all get crabby- abuse, violence, negligence, and abandonment are NOT cool, got it? Life sucks for everyone, don’t compete over who isn’t doing their job. If you’re constantly gauging your happiness level you will ALWAYS be unhappy, because *everything* below that happy mark is unhappy. Don’t be ridiculous and take each other for granted. Great, now we need another distraction.
Have you ever snooped through your girlfriends/boyfriends things?:
I genuinely don’t care to, plus I’m too lazy. Going through someone else’s stuff means I have to engage my brain to remember more stuff and might wind up having to deal with emotions that I concoct and bring on myself, and I just don’t have the extra energy to waste on that. I’d rather find cool animal videos.
Do you always wash your hands after using the restroom?:
This is why I don’t like hanging around people, because I know they don’t. A doctor I saw in urgent care one year couldn’t believe I had contracted hand-foot-mouth disease from a waiting room full of adults waiting for colonoscopies (I was a driver) because this kind of thing usually comes from being around kids, but I’d had no other outside human contact the whole week before I got sick. So yeah, think about that next time you touch the arms on your chair in a waiting room.
Is there a body part on your spouse that you dislike?:
I’m actually rather jealous of his iron stomach. Scott can eat *anything* as long as he chugs a bottle of tums after it.
Do you wish you were still single?:
Thank goodness I’m not, I’d be much more evil and problematic for a larger number of people. I’m beginning to wonder if the spouse in the previous question is the one who committed the crime in an earlier question…
And there we stop. Maybe the survey creator came to an illuminating decision to stomp off to the fridge for a snack.