Bluejacky: Existential Aspie

March 17, 2014

my Shorty Award interview survey

I know this might be a joke to a few people, but I was nominated for a Shorty Award this year in the blogger category, sweeeeeet. I'm new to all this and still rounding up all my stuff, nowhere close to being named a finalist, so I think it would only be fair to copy my most famous survey EVER over to my survey blog to do it even more justice.

THE SHORTY INTERVIEW WITH JANIKA BANKS

What inspires you to tweet?

The challenge of squeezing big thots into teeny tiny boxes is exhilarating.

What's the most memorable Snapchat you've ever received?

I could say it's none of ur biz & I'm not telling, which would still be true enough. I haz no snapchat.

Can you name some one-of-a-kind Twitter accounts that you follow?

@GhouliaChilds is the coolest dark food porn, @TheTweetOfGod & @StayPuft & @FailSign all rock, @XplodingUnicorn coolest blog posts

Who is the funniest person on Twitter that you follow?

Jon Hendren @fart is my secret twitter fetish at 3 a.m. when I can't sleep, I lay there stifling giggles.

What was the funniest trend you've seen?

#superbowlblackout THAT. WAS. AWESOME.

How has social media improved your life?

I'm not alone anymore. All y'alls are in my head with me now.

What's your best tweet?

Current top favstar- Carl is getting Daryl hair, won't be long till he starts carrying a little crossbow #TheWalkingDead pic.twitter.com/IJryi2lEmU (click pic to see original tweet with photo)

Who's your role model on social media?

Jenny Lawson @TheBloggess, the coolest weird chick on twitter, awesome blog & hilarious book.

Who do you admire most for his or her use of Twitter?

@StayPuft That is one crazy marshmallow.

Twitter or Facebook?

I saw something the other day about twitter & facebook getting married & having kids. I say bon chance! I'm not a side taker.

How do you imagine Twitter changing?

Sometimes I hear tweets in Stephen Hawking mode. I think that would be cool.

As a parent, coach, or role model tell us: How do you use social media to help others focus on all that is good in their lives? Don't forget to submit a nomination for the #KeepGoodGoing award!

FOCUS! WORK!!! >=l Like that. I'm really good at getting to the point.

What are six things you could never do without?

Benadryl, lip balm, sox, hot chocolate, my chickens, & TWITTER.

Why should we vote for you?

Bcuz this is hilarious, & if you do I might give you one of my very special ultra rare #FF poems.

Why'd you start tweeting?

Specifically, to follow what was happening live with Merlin filming in Pierrefonds in France. I LOVE TWITTER. (Click the pic to read more.)

Who do you wish had a Twitter feed but doesn't?

Everyone who tries to DM, PM, & text me individually wanting info or pix. I made my life public for a reason.

Terms you wish would start trending on Twitter right now?

Really hate to jinx myself & say #BradleyJames bcuz it would def happen if he croaked ironically during filming or something.

What's the most annoying social media trend?

Not posting pix of something ppl go out of their way to say is amazing. Phone is in ur hand, ur RIGHT THERE, tweet a pic, how hard is that? (I'd like to amend this with STOP TWEETING SPIDER PIX!!!)

What are some big Twitter faux pas?

Retweeting other ppl's porn, spam, & hate, especially now that RTs infiltrate list feeds on phone apps.

What question are we not asking here that we should?

The obvious- would we like brain chips in our pets so they can tweet & we can see what they're thinking? YES.

What's the wildest experience you've had via social media?

Can't tell ya, it's going into the book. For reals.

How will the world change in the next year?

Sharknado 2 will complete Syfy's conquest for world domination.

How much time you spend online?

If I dream about tweeting & blogging is it real? What if this whole thing is a dream? What if I wake up & the Shorty Awards don't exist?

Is there someone you want to follow you who doesn't already? If so, who?

If Wil Wheaton followed me I'd be set for life. (Click this pic to follow his wife on twitter. I love her hair here, so I pinned it, in case you wanna repin that.)

What feature should Twitter add?

Time travel. It would be easier to go back to last May than find a mobile tweet in my history that isn't documented properly in my archive.

What's the most interesting connection you've made through Twitter?

I tweeted a pic of the Tenth Doctor reading a book & tweeted that it was From Eternity to Here by @seanmcarroll & he RTd me #favephysicist (I just originated that hashtag on twitter, woot!)

What will the internet be like in 50 years?

Seamless with no interface probs & something so entrenched in our lives that we can't live without it continually. Too bad I'll be dead. (I've actually made preditions about future internet here and here and several other places that I'm not going to dig up right now.)

In what ways do you waste the most time on social media?

I was once told to stop wasting time filling out silly surveys & posting them. LOOK AT ME NOW, NYAH, NYAH >=D

Hashtag you created that you wish everyone used?

#MerLexxian originally for Merlin & Lexx fans but now it's more about Pinky being a weirdo. (This is now a registered mashtag because I'm a crazy weirdo with a twisted sense of mangled ego. If you click that you go to an awesome twubs page that you can join.)

How do you decide what to tweet?

I think the bigger challenge is what NOT to tweet.

How long can you go without a tweet?

I'm up to 8 hours between tweets now. Before Christmas, Vizify had me gauged at round the clock tweeting 24/7 bcuz sleep disorder. (I just hacked this code, we'll see how long it works.)

Pinky Guerrero's Vizify Bio | Twitter Video

www.vizify.com

Video trailer showcasing Pinky Guerrero's Twitter.

via Vizify

(That Tony Solo guy keeps popping up in my twitter apps. No idea what's up with that. *cough* snarkalecradio *cough*)

How do you make your tweets unique?

I elevate the mundane to speshul party status.

What is the weirdest or most inappropriate place you've ever made a social media post from?

I accidentally walked into the men's restroom in Walmart while I was tweeting & @mattyboy5150 laughed at me. (Click this pic to check out his IMDB page.)

Which family member do you wish was on Facebook? Which do you wish wasn't on Facebook?

I wish my dad was on facebook so he could see it's not a magical place that we all automatically get with our computers.

What do you wish people would do more of on Twitter?

I wish people on twitter would tweet pix straight from their phones instead of sharing from instagram, bcuz extra clicks & time to view.

What are some words or phrases you refuse to shorten for brevity?

I refuse to shorten Doctor Who for the sake of brevity. Everything else gets slaughtered.

Ever get called out for tweeting too much?

Everyone I know is grateful I tweet bcuz I stopped writing 10,000 word emails.

What is one of the biggest misconceptions of Twitter?

Ppl think I'm addicted to my phone, it's more like I feel like I'm part of the Borg now, all those voices go thru my eyeballs into my head.

Why should people follow you?

People should follow me bcuz I read every single bio & learn where they are from, & list them into appropriate groups for more interaction. (I am very serious about this, and I periodically post images from TweepsMap because I love maps and graphs. This is from today.)

What will the world be like 10 years from now?

I'm hoping we'll have brain implants & tweet hands free, & get software downloads & upgrades in our sleep. Tech interface is slow right now.

How do you use Twitter in your professional life?

I use twitter to gauge live response vs search engine response, & list merging as a growth mechanism to drive more traffic thru links. (This is actually true, when I'm not being silly and winding up in twitter jail. Click to follow my jail account.)

Has Twitter changed your life? If yes, how?

Twitter's made my life BETTER, depression is easier to deal with, get real time news faster, laugh more, watch TV w/ ppl around the world.

Instagram, Vine or GIF?

GIF bcuz it pops right up in the feed without having to click and load.

What's the funniest celebrity tweet you saw in this past year?

Funniest celeb tweet- @Gary_R_Graham mocking @AdamBaldwin & he replied w/ My Little Pony pic with his head on it saying I set fires to feel joy. (Ok, so maybe it was 2012 instead of 2013, but really close.)

140 characters of advice for a new user?

Noobs can do whatever they want as long as they don't bomb my DMs. That goes for wizened biz ppls as well, don't be a nidiot with DMs.

How do you pronounce GIF?

The first time I saw "GIF" I thought it was an acronym for a mathematical function.

Have you ever unfollowed someone? Who and why?

I unfollowed a filmmaker with 42K followers bcuz he spammed my TL with porn going on in his house. Perv.

January 29, 2014

Moment of Truth survey
From Free MySpace Surveys

Do you really care about the environment?:

They named a snow storm after me! #WinterStormJanika I'm sure my friends on the East Coast appreciated all that fun snow. And we're ripping right through the alphabet this winter, already up to "L" with Leon this week hitting my southern U.S. friends. You can click the pic for more.

This global warming thing was bad back in the 70's, too, apparently.

Have you ever parked in a handicapped spot?:

No one ever asks if capable people use the button on handicap doors.

Have you ever driven in a carpool lane while alone in your car?:

We drove through Atlanta during rush hour once on the way to MegaCon, y'all be crazy people, you know that, right?

Did you ever fake it in bed?:

No, once the giggling starts it's all over. I'm also not able to fake my way through other people's cooking. This is where I really admire actors, if I had to take a bite of apple on set I'd be gagging.

Do you believe you are better looking than all of your friends?:

You can click this pic for my fave reading material lately, and follow my friends Larissa Mrykalo @DaphneDoo_, Dawn Feakes @dawnsnarks, and Melissa Harkness @karmic9 on twitter, who write for ParanormalPopCulture.com.

Have you ever exaggerated the number of women/men you slept with?:

Sometimes you sleep with a cat on your head, but no one ever asks about that, either.

Do you owe a friend money that you have no intention of paying back?:

I'm dreaming big.

If you saw your friend’s spouse with another woman/man would you tell them?:

The reason I've lasted this long is because I'm really good at not saying anything. And distraction. I'm really really good at distraction.

I once dressed a busboy from Cheddar's as Jack Sparrow for a charity event. I'm cool that way.

I put one of those on my Awesomeness pinterest board if you like pinterest. If you are interested in knowing more about that guy you can check out his LinkedIn profile.

Are you more comfortable around friends that are not as attractive as you?

I'm aspie, which renders this question moot. I'm attracted to people in a more cartoony or caricaturish kind of way and feel extremely uncomfortable around negative people, no matter how attractive they may look or seem to others. I also don't dwell on how I look myself. I would make a good dog.

Do you think you are smarter than your girlfriend/boyfriend?:

I used to mock Scott for being a paste eater in school, but he's surprisingly brilliant about current event and entertainment details and factoids whenever I need them. He's also pretty hot.

Have you ever thought that your parents would be better off divorced?:

Let's just skip this one.

Do you think that you are smarter than your parents?

YES, omg yes, a thousand times yes. Let's just say I wish my parents could have at least been this cool.

Did you ever throw a party at your parents’ house without their knowledge?:

It's not a party until you bring baby animals into the house.

Do you think your parents did a good job raising you?:

I'm just going to let this speak for itself.

Do you like your mother more than your father?:

'Like' never even occurred to me. Ever. I know, I'm awful. And very very aspie-Scorpio. People tend to fear me after awhile, *especially* if I like them. My parents have been at a loss since I was about 3 years old.

Do you believe your parents are proud of you?:

They always feared I'd get tangled up in things like this. Click the pic for more info.

Have you ever wished you were born into a different family?:

This survey creator apparently has ~*~family issues~*~ because we are wringing this one to death. Here, cheer up a little bit.

Do you believe your parents favor your sibling more than you?:

Have you SEEN this??? Click that for info.

I'm a very recent zombie convert and already people left and right are telling me "Don't overthink this" but I'm betting there are a LOT of people like me ~joyfully~ overthinking, like a new piece of gristle to gnaw on. It's also hilarious to watch stuff like this.

Do you respect your father?:

I can't tell you how cool a father like Dr. Evil looks to me.

Have you ever stolen from your parents?:

I turned out like this from my parents. I hope that's worth some money someday.

Do you think you are better looking than your sibling(s)?:

And based on *that* last question you can see I'm aggressively amassing my army.

Would you report a family member to the cops if they had committed a crime?:

Everyone who knows I know something quietly tenses up...

Do you think you are a good role model for your children?:

My daughter was seeing stuff like this when she was tiny. She turned out way better than she should have.

http://youtu.be/-4GZFbCqx18

Do you think you have what it takes to be a good mother/father?:

Then she grew up and got published and now she's working on a zombie book. She swears I'm the best mom on the planet and is always thanking me for being so cool. I really don't know what to make of that, but I do know I *never* felt that way about my own parents, so I must have done something right.

Would you be happy with yourself if you turned out like your mother/father?:

THEY weren't happy they turned out the way they did. Don't make me go into another one of my 'happiness' rants. I always hear the words in this picture in the voice of Senor Cardgage.

Would you say your mother is a great cook?:

I can't get over what phenomenal cooks my own kiddos turned out to be, since I could never get them into the kitchen when they still lived here. This just came out of my oven, by the way. The mocha half is for me, Scott puts blueberry topping on his half. I love this recipe because it keeps a long time if it's sealed in the fridge, so I can eat very small amounts over several days. For the mocha part I melt 1/4 c. chocolate chips and stir in 1 tsp. of instant coffee dissolved in 1 tsp. of water, then swirl into half the batter.

Would you be happy to marry a man/woman who is just like your mom/dad?:

I just want to be very clear *again* how close this world came to having another evil villain on its hands through the clashing of my parents.

Do you dislike small children?:

Teeny weeny people are the best.

Do you secretly think babies are ugly?:

I didn't realize this was a source for entertainment until I put 'ugly babies' through a search engine. Click the pic if you want to see more. Keep in mind that unique looks can land some pretty cool film roles.

Have you ever thought your spouse was boring?:

Scott is one of the most surprising people I've ever met, and one of the most hyper. It only gets boring when I don't have the energy to keep up.

Have you lied on your resume?:

I think everyone tries to mask the stench of their lives sooner or later.

Do you really believe you’re going to have a successful career?:

If I don't believe it, how can it happen?

Have you taken credit for someone else’s work?:

This was my twitter worth last month. I'm terrified that I'll slip back to something like $3.95 because I'm not tweeting half the amount this month.

Have you ever spied on your co-workers in the bathroom?:

I have gone out of my way to flee coworkers in the bathroom, avoiding that kind of personal TMI at all costs.

Have you ever called in sick to work when you really weren’t?:

On my last job I worked 15 months without a single sick day and no one knew it was the most ill I'd ever been in my life up to that point, so in the way of pulling fakes, I probably out-faked everyone I ever knew.

Do you love your job more than sex?:

My job now IS sex. brain sex, robot style | Arch Heretic Neurotypicals will never get the nirvana I feel when I hyper focus on brain gaming. I love word construction. Words going back and forth through our eyeballs into our brains is freakishly fulfilling for me.

Have you ever disliked someone for being more successful than you?:

There's a fine line between successful and lucky. And dislike might not be a strong enough word. Yes, I admit to a cozy warm glow in my chest when I heard that person failed after all.

Do you think you drive a more expensive car than you can truly afford?:

I drove mostly junk until about 5 years ago. It's not a matter of affording as much as simply allocating that money to stuff I gave more priority. I do have a dream car, though. Click this pic to see more.

Are you jealous of people with more money than you?:

I make fun of Scott sometimes when he experiences relative deprivation. I think a maxim of our society is that everyone will feel jealous of other people sometime in their lives, at which point we can either decide to go after what we want or wallow in our self pity. And then I make a pie and he feels better.

Do you believe wives must serve their husbands?:

Here we go, survey creator has a problem with confined roles pressured by a societal group, and this could be either gender pouting over something. Here come my two cents (omg, I'm caving). I grew up being treated like a third worlder because of the belief system my parents immersed me in. Many useless debates dance around the role of female servitude and the psychological deficiencies that bring about these debates. Spring forth, get jobs, find stuff and people you love, and serve humanity, how's that? If you wind up espoused and popping offspring, great, just don't mistake your every mood swing (both genders) for the love measuring stick. Crabby is cool, we all get crabby- abuse, violence, negligence, and abandonment are NOT cool, got it? Life sucks for everyone, don't compete over who isn't doing their job. If you're constantly gauging your happiness level you will ALWAYS be unhappy, because *everything* below that happy mark is unhappy. Don't be ridiculous and take each other for granted. Great, now we need another distraction.

Have you ever snooped through your girlfriends/boyfriends things?:

I genuinely don't care to, plus I'm too lazy. Going through someone else's stuff means I have to engage my brain to remember more stuff and might wind up having to deal with emotions that I concoct and bring on myself, and I just don't have the extra energy to waste on that. I'd rather find cool animal videos.

Do you always wash your hands after using the restroom?:

This is why I don't like hanging around people, because I know they don't. A doctor I saw in urgent care one year couldn't believe I had contracted hand-foot-mouth disease from a waiting room full of adults waiting for colonoscopies (I was a driver) because this kind of thing usually comes from being around kids, but I'd had no other outside human contact the whole week before I got sick. So yeah, think about that next time you touch the arms on your chair in a waiting room.

Is there a body part on your spouse that you dislike?:

I'm actually rather jealous of his iron stomach. Scott can eat *anything* as long as he chugs a bottle of tums after it.

Do you wish you were still single?:

Thank goodness I'm not, I'd be much more evil and problematic for a larger number of people. I'm beginning to wonder if the spouse in the previous question is the one who committed the crime in an earlier question...

And there we stop. Maybe the survey creator came to an illuminating decision to stomp off to the fridge for a snack.
4:56 pm

3 Comments

November 2, 2013

The Story Behind Yablo

My blog is coming back, yay!!!! I got impatient and started fixing all the mangled html, and now some of it is mangled again because Xanga has finally got more of the root template stuff up. If anything, this relaunch onto new servers has taught me patience and hopefully a much better attitude about getting through trying events.

In the meantime I made a new composite blog at yablovh.wordpress.com to centralize all my personas into a collective One, as it were. In doing that I have come full circle back to my very first internet handle, Yablo.

Yablo was a funny mix but fit my personality perfectly. I got the name from the Yablo Sprite commercial (there were hundreds of Yablos on the internet back then) and used to describe Yablo on group lists as being a Vulcan in a Hawaiian shirt and sunglasses. I guess I got a little carried away enthusiastically pumping little cult fandom groups up, because one zealot drove 12 hours to my house and camped on my couch for a few days. I really don't encourage that... Yes, it got weird and kinda freaky, but a great learning experience. It's taken a few years to appreciate that even someone playing on a blog can develop a little fandom.

Yablo disappeared and Janika Banks emerged, went through another learning experience, and then Bluejacky was born. After Bluejacky disappeared, Pinky Guerrero slid onto the stage. These have been my main avatars representing myself to the world, but the Xanga relaunch catapulted me into a salvage frenzy that made me realize I need *all* of me to survive living on the internet. I must accept that my Spock & Spongebob mentality is a real thing, this is who I am, and only exposing bits and pieces of who I am gets me into all kinds of trubbas, because although readers seem to love the quirks, eventually the quirks kill the relationships without more context.

I am Janika Yablo Banks, aspie eccentric, with mucho verbal skillz. I am realizing it's up to me to create my world for reals, and that I really do need friends around me.

And I'm still evolving, gathering yet another fandom into who I am. Please to join me in frivolities on twitter, facebook, and my Lexx blog. You'll have to click the vid pic to hear the music, I'm still wrangling with Xanga over getting vid embeds going.
- 9:26 am
- Comments Off