1. To whom did you last give the finger?
When I was growing up my mom said it's not polite to point, so I use my elbow. With my sunglasses on, it kinda looks like I'm undercover when I do that. I am much cooler doing it than anything you are imagining right now.
2. If you had 1,000,000 dollars what would you buy?
3. What was the last beverage you spilled on yourself?
I have this habit of turning my head to talk right about the time the glass is supposed to meet my lips, so it's not unusual to see streaks of ice tea dumped down my shirt. I tried a straw once and poked it right in my eye turning my head to talk, so straws are out.
4. Are you different now than you were 6 months ago?
My hair sorta grew... Is this a trick question? Like, do I have another arm or something? Or did my IQ shoot up another hundred points? Or maybe I discovered I can fling myself off buildings and fly? I've lost 10 pounds since last year, which was surprising to realize.
5. Have you kissed anyone in the last three days?
It's bad luck to kiss a duck. I'll let you find out why the hard way.
6. When was the last photograph you took?
7. Where were you last night around 9:30?
Please don't ask me any stupid questions in this one. I picked this survey because it said "unusual".
8. What do you think of guys that wear eyeliner?
I can't get Scott to try it. I've pointed out all the news people and actors who wear it, but he still thinks it will instantly neuter him. I like eyeliner on guys.
9. How many hours did you sleep last night?
Dang it, stick to "unusual", or I'm going to lose my temper.
10. Whats on your Mp3 player?
You assume I have an Mp3 player. You must be a young'un.
11.Been in a fight?
I am the Steven Seagal of middle aged women. At least in my head.
12. How was the last egg you ate prepared?
I could go into the culinary details, or I could leave you hanging. Or I could gross you out with this. How a Hen Lays Her Egg
13. Where did you last wear sunglasses?
Out in the sun? I'm getting a little impatient over the decline in "unusual" in these questions.
14. Ever worn your underwear backwards?
You are such a dork for even asking this one.
15. Who was the last person to smoke a cigarette in your presence.
I don't think I've ever killed a survey maker this early in the survey.
16. Does it bother you when people put && before every sentence?
The aspie in me is asking what the heck you're talking about. &&? Just for that-
17. What animal did you last pet or hold?
18. What was the last law you broke?
I shot a survey maker with an arrow.
19. What are you wearing?
Big stinkin' ugly headphones because this kick ass awesome monitor doesn't have any sound or phone jacks at all, so we had to plug these in to the back of the hard drive because it has a really long cord. Great sound, though. Oh, yeah, and a very thin nightgown that you can't see because I'm a cruel tease.
20. What did you think of your last kiss?
Scott has good lips.
21. What was the last newspaper you read or skimmed?
My youngest had this thing about writing on herself, and it wasn't uncommon during kindergarten to find her covered head to toe in long streaks of ink or permanent marker. She's 20 now and very particular about looking nice, so I really don't see that any more. Whatever winds up on my hand is accidental. If it spells anything, it's probably in Farsi, and since I can't read Farsi, I have no idea what it says.
23. What was the last hair product you used?
*dumping shampoo on survey maker*
24? Oh, 24, where are you? Wow, this is *soooo* a sign from the heavens to put some funny Jack Bauer vids here...
I'm loaded on vicodin. Actually, this is the first time I've had a full dose (one whole pill) in nearly a year. I'm allergic to everything from ibuprofen to lyrica, so I'm allowed to be strictly monitored on narcotics. I usually take half a pill twice a day, far below amounts taken by other people for similar spinal pain, because I have a huge phobia over pills (thanx to all the bad med reactions I've had), and I really hate the way they make me feel goofy. Here's a true story.
26. Who was the last person to make you laugh?
Me, actually. I had one of those depressing realizations that this time last year I was looking forward to stuff getting better because I thought it sucked *then*, and everything just went downhill from there over the next year, and I had to laugh at how idiotic it is to try to be optimistic. Silly me!!! I know better than that! Expect the worst, and then when it doesn't happen, your day (or year) is going pretty good, right? It probably helped that I was on the vicodin, because I really did giggle.
27. To what song did you last sing along to?
28. What was the last musical instrument played in your presence?
Youtube. Dang, I've made it nearly to the end without actually killing the survey maker... I must have forgotten.
30. What's the last good thing you read?