I LOVE Xanga. I ADORE Xanga. The Xanga platform has allowed me so much freedom to play around with my html, and it's more 'point and click' user friendly for my head than other blog hosts. I won't go into the 20 different blogs just on Xanga I've made over the last 9 years, etc.

I'm aspie. I've never handled being a social person very well, but a couple of my Xanga blogs wound up putting me in some spotlights that had me recoiling like a salted snail. Even when the interaction is 100% positive, my nerves get a little fried because I misunderstand the social dance. I've been very happy with just having lurkers. I don't whine about not getting comments, but I do think it's fun to play with plugz and trackers and cross posting media links between my Xanga blogs, Twitter, Facebook, Tumblr, and so on. I daresay I've gotten pretty good at driving traffic, as I have demonstrated to a friend who allows me unfettered access to his blogs and forums at syfydesigns.com, an experimental playground being watched by a few twitter peeps, including Snarkalecs and Wormhole Riders. In particular, Lexx fans around the world know my grandfortuna Xanga site as being synonymous with Lexx since 2006 and have tracked through regularly checking on it for years even during the year and a half I pulled it all into protected posting. (Alas, my sitemeter tracker host moved and lost my original count, it is much higher than what it shows on my page.) In my eyes, Xanga isn't dead so much as not being utilized to potential by bloggers who aren't cognizant of how to 'game up' their traffic by cross linking. I sincerely have no problem paying for my main blogs because I use them heavily, and will gladly pay twice the yearly fees once Xanga has moved over to WordPress.

Who I am on Xanga has been so important that it will be going into a book (hopefully soon). Learning to be a public person in media has been a huge challenge for me with my Aspergers, to the point of involving a psychologist since 2007. Autisable through Xanga was a big part of my personal breakthrough, and even though I rarely interact there now, Joel is a hero to me. I'm not good at fielding people contacting me personally when they find me and get excited about finding a fun and positive person on the spectrum, but I'm glad that whatever they find in me is a good thing.

I have talked to a number of people about their online identities and personalities (I have a sociology degree) and how afraid some of them are to be 'real' in public on the internet. It's a very scary thing to allow yourself to become vulnerable. While I don't think it's a good idea for people to post pix of kids and grandkids for many reasons, I also don't think it's wise to be so completely underground that no one has a clue if everything you put online is a lie. Part of the book I'm working on has everything to do with who we are publicly and privately. Some people like to make fun of bloggers posting pictures of what they had for breakfast, or letting the world know they got their laundry done. I think people who deride others for openness and honesty are hiding issues of their own, and one very interesting personal story in particular rocked a world fandom because I have a blog on Xanga.

Social media is a real thing, and such a big deal that psychologists actually study how people handle their interpersonal interactions on social media. My blogs over the last 9 years, both public and private, are a vital journal for me to go back through and see where I've been able to adapt and thrive, or where I'm stuck in a holding pattern indicating some difficulty in my personal growth. Blogging, for me, has been especially helpful since I have a social deficit, and I have learned to look back as a 3rd party and not only assess myself, but set goals. One goal has been to pare down my 10,000 word emails to a couple of sentences or a very short paragraph (or no email at all). I've been able to tame my compulsion to blab ceaselessly in print once it was pointed out to me. Setting my tone has also been a challenge, involving rewrites galore. And etc.

I use metaphors in my head all the time. Surfing the internet is part of what I've become very good at. So now I'm getting ready to shoot the curl with Xanga in its relaunch to an upgraded platform, and I'm not going to get knocked off my (key)board. I don't 'jump ship' easily because I'm aspie. I'm backing up my stuff just in case, because that's the smart thing to do, but I will first and foremost always be a Xanga fan no matter what happens next, and long after Xanga goes *poof* and is gone, I will remember it quite fondly. In some weird way, blogs are like my fashion statement, I wear them like clothes and change them with my moods. Here I am bluejacky. And here is the core of who I am. Bluejacky has by far been the most popular blog I've ever made, aside from Lexx. This time next year I want to be wearing a Xanga t-shirt and say I survived the move, like people wear weather disaster tees saying "I survived Hurricane Ike".

Gonna geek my foodie obsession all over you guys in this one. Run screaming if you are on a diet.

2. What is your favorite store?

My favorite meat counter is at Harter House, my fave fresh organic vegetables are at MaMa Jean’s Market, my fave place to buy bulk olive oil and butter and other pricey stuff is Sam’s Club, and my fave place to pick up locally produced foods is Heather Hill Farms. Since I'm working on this survey on Cinco de Mayo, here is one of my fave Weird Al fanvids. He's a good one if you like food songs.

 

 

3. What store do you buy the most things from?

I love making pretty food that tastes good. One of the neatest tricks I learned was mixing a dash or two of smoked paprika into the breading mix before I bread and fry stuff, along with a dash of garlic powder, a dash of black pepper, and a sprinkling of something herbly like basil, thyme, rosemary, or oregano. Or all of them. Lightly salt the meat or veggies first, then dredge, then fry.

 

I sometimes think managers cringe because I ask so many questions, like where is the saffron and could they get any in for me, and they're going what the heck is saffron... even though I live in a very ethnically diverse area. It used to be almost impossible to find smoked paprika in SW MO, too, and I know this because I hunted high and low through 15 stores across 3 towns. Well, thanx to the food channels making ethnic cooking more popular and the McCormick® Gourmet Collection making a new display, I can now find saffron in nearly every store I visit, including Walmart.

 

 

Now all I have to do is dress up like Nadia G while I cook...

 

 

4. What is your favorite thing to shop for?

My fave aisle is the baking stuff, flours and oils and all kinds of stuff for pies and cakes and cookies. Since I'm allergic to everything with nuts and citrus in it, even by association, I have had to learn to make everything from scratch, and I have to say I make the most delicious yellow cake I've ever tasted from a combination of recipes I hunted down on the internet. I've never seen another recipe quite like mine, and Scott has sworn off gourmet cupcake shops over it. One day I'll share it.  

 

Speaking of cake, I was invited to Matthew Willson's 40th birthday party!  And so was Ellen Dubin!  I know! If we were both going I could hang out with her! But alas, 'tis not to be. Friend Matt on facebook and follow his twitter. Like Ellen's facebook fanpage and follow her twitter. (some of you coming back might notice I changed Ellen's facebook link-here's why)

 

 

So Matthew Willson produced and starred in an independent film called Skinning the Cat, and if you want to see him in other stuff here is a demo reel- caution for language and very brief male nudity (not Matthew), so do NOT watch this if you don't like the rough stuff.

 

 

5. Do you usually pay with cash, credit, check, or debit?

And which account do I use, while we're at it? I'm notorious for paying with a baggy full of change just so I can clean out the coin bowl. Really going to miss those pennies when they finally revise them out of our monetary exchange system. I'm picky about my tea, too. If I forget that I've got a bag steeping and come back later, I throw it all out and start over. Went through half a box of tea bags one day because I was absorbed in something else I was doing.

 

 

Friend of mine on twitter has been in India with a group and told me it doesn't matter how strong it gets there, you just milk and sugar it up and drink it!  You can read about her experiences there and follow Sarais_thoughts on Twitter.

 

6. Are you addicted to shopping?

I kind of am. When I see a really beautiful head of cauliflower it's all I can do not to bring it home. Despite loving cauliflower, I think I throw more of that away than anything because I have way too much to eat. This song could be my cauliflower song if it rhymed with anything.

 

 

7. Are you in major debt because of shopping?

We've been through major debt because of medical bills, which I think a lot of people go through sooner or later. No matter how bad stuff gets, stick to someone. Don't go through it alone. Lately one of my fave authors is facing massive medical debt because his son was in an accident. He made the coolest post on his facebook yesterday. If you'd like to keep up with updates you can also follow David Farland on Twitter.

 

  

8. How often do you go to the mall?

I used to hit my favorite restaurants there quite a bit, but now that I can't eat anything on the menu without risking a reaction, I hardly ever go any more. I drool over kitchens like this one since I'm in my own kitchen so much.

 

Charlie Sheen's Winning Recipes from Charlie Sheen

 

9. What is the last thing you bought?

This actually happened.

 

 

And since I was having a slow brain day, I was a nidiot and said no thanx, I don't play video games. ~DERP omg~ Ten seconds later I was going back begging for that key because I know sooooooo many people that DO. And I would have given it to you all right here because I'm that cool. Except now I suck because I was so dumb.

 

 

But that has nothing to do with food, you say. And I say I KNOW, so let's go comfort ourselves with some junk food!  Here, look, I made another chocolate pie! Well, actually two since the last survey, the one with the pink meringue is me playing around trying to make it look like marshmallow strawberries, and the purple meringue was me playing around with how well I could make shapes. I think eventually I'll be sculpting meringue like a pro.

 

 

 

        

 

 

                    

 

10. What store was it from?

People are always asking me that about my coffee. We used to drive a couple of states north just to pick up Caribou coffee and a few other things once a year, but they've finally got it down here now at Target and Hy-Vee, thank goodness. Caribou Daybreak is Scott's favorite. My favorite is Ozark Mountain Blend from Churchill Coffee. We mix them half and half for the most perfect coffee we've ever tasted, guess you could say it's our own house blend.

 

   

 

 

11. Who is your favorite person to shop for?

My youngest is getting a LOT of oohs and ahhs over these baby shoes that came across the pond from Gems-Stones-Studs at Diddy by Design, and she can't wait till her little girl is born and can get pictures made in them.  

 

 

 This is a recipe going around facebook that I think would be precious to try at a baby shower, and super easy to make.

 

 

* STRAWBERRY FUDGE**
INGREDIENTS:
1 16 oz can of strawberry frosting
1 12 oz bag of white chocolate chips
2/3 cup chopped pecans
DIRECTIONS:
Lightly spray an 9×9 pan ( or a 9 x 13 pan for thinner bars ) with cooking spray. 
Put chocolate chips in microwave safe bowl and melt them,( not letting them burn) You could also use a double boiler.
Stir in entire can of strawberry frosting.
Stir in pecans. 
Spread into pan and chill in refrigerator for 30 minutes.
Cut into squares and serve.

 

12. Would you ever buy clothes at walmart?

I buy whatever I want wherever I see it if I have the money to spend, but since I'm about the least material person I know, that means I have more money available for nice food. I heard about this really rare white honey that comes from only one place in the whole world and had to try it. Volcano Island Honey

 

 

 

13. Do you own a pair of shoes that cost more than 200 dollars?

Not yet. What I'd *like* is to splurge on some more ceramic bakeware. I ~luv~ that stuff. It's heavy like cast iron so it cooks more evenly than metal pans, and so much easier to clean up. I also like those new Orgreenic pans, picked one up, guess we'll see how it works out. So far so good.

 

 

14. Do you ever use coupons?

I get all kinds of coupons back from companies I've written to about either what I loved about their products, or problems I had with them. I live near the heart of Tyson Chicken country and know people on several big farms that contract with them raising chickens and turkeys. I have absolutely no quarrel with them, except one year I noticed their frozen cornish hens seemed more feathery than they used to be, and I let them know I was really tired of having to pick out the pins and feathers that had been missed. I got all kinds of free chicken, the more I complained, the more coupons I got. I finally went online and did some research (plus I get World Poultry Magazine), and basically the whole line had been revamped to accommodate the problems live chickens were going through at the top of the line, which led to not only better quality in the meat down the line, but far less suffering overall. So I thought Ok, I can handle a few feathers for that. Since then a new line called Smart Chicken® has moved into most of the stores, and that's usually what I pick up, even though it costs a little more, because the meat is in such good condition, which means the chicken wasn't treated badly getting all bruised up and broken, although, yes, you still get to finish cleaning off a few pin feathers and fuzz. This is kind of a big deal when you make your own chicken stock, but since I very thoroughly inspect and wash my chicken before it goes into the pot, I've never found any of that in my stock.

 

 

 

 

15. Do you buy most of your clothes on clearence?

There are certain grocery items I ALWAYS check prices on as I shop. I'm not a browser, so I glance around at high speed, most people probably never see me do that. For instance, canned milk- depending where you go and what brand you buy, that stuff is regularly 30 cents higher or lower per 12-oz can, which would be a monumental deal if we were talking gas prices. Every time I save $1 buying store brand canned milk, I can spend that $1 on nicer meat, capiche? If I wait till Christmas season and buy chocolate chips $1 cheaper per bag and stock up enough to make a batch of cookies once a month all year, I've saved $12 dollars. If you guys aren't noticing this insane waste of your money and still complaining about gas prices, you're kinda dumb. I save so much money just noticing when is the right time to buy staples with long shelf lives that I never need coupons. I get real butter at very reasonable prices and throw piles of it into my freezer, and then don't worry about needing it when the price doubles back up. Bacon goes more than half off around bbq season, I buy piles of it and it lasts all year. Stuff like that. We eat really well in this house, and some people think that's a hoity toity way of life, but when you save $50 a month on all your staples, it's easy to spend that $50 at a quality meat counter. And really, this is my kind of gaming. I'm so good at remembering prices between all the stores, it's like hitting that pot and finding a gem in Legend of Zelda when I run into a price drop. I get a little rush.  When you find your fave designer coffee going down $1 per a 12-oz bag, it's insane not to grab about 6 or 7 of them, right? Free bag of designer coffee right there. This is what hunting and gathering is all about in the 21st century, people.

 

16. Have you ever shopped till you dropped?

I have worked in retail till I dropped, literally. I've always been a workaholic, thanx to my upbringing. I grew up labor intensive on a self sustaining Mennonite farm, which probably goes against all child labor laws, but it certainly created a framework for successfully navigating through the rest of my life. I think that's what I like about watching Chopped All Stars, you can tell they're the same way. We love food work. These are my people. The ONLY reason I left restaurant work was because I didn't want to commit 24/7 to management over being with my kids, but if I'd never had any kids, that's exactly where I'd be right now, or most likely would own my own place by now. My very fave celebrity chef (among MANY over the years) is Anne Burrell. I first watched her sous chef for Mario Batali on Iron Chef America, and I haven't missed a single one of her shows since then, especially Worst Cooks in America. I'm a rabid scifi fan, but I bet I've watched more food shows in my life than any other kind of tv show. One of my very favorite shows is Two Fat Ladies, I've seen every episode 3 times and read all the books they've written.

 

17. Do you ever try things on at the store?

I've been known to crack open a chocolate milk and take a pain pill after physical therapy while I shop for groceries on the way home, yes. There is one store in particular I hit where one of the sackers has known me for years, and she watched me crawl through the nightmare of immobility and motor carts for a couple of years, and now I'm walking around pushing my own cart again. Still difficult to bend into the cart and get my stuff out to put onto the little conveyor (I have doctor ordered weight restrictions on what I can lift), but it's SO nice to be able to do the shopping myself again. Because of all the spinal pain I still go through, I've discovered that eating standing up is actually quite enjoyable. We have this mindset that we must sit to eat, but when we do that, we miss our deeper instincts. Picking through fresh roasted meat while it's still fresh from the oven before I shred or dice it up is heavenly, and moving around between bites (since I'm already conveniently standing up) keeps me from overeating. It's so easy to gain weight as we age, but if you stop sitting down through most of your meals and keep doing chores in between bites, it's very enjoyable to eat without overdoing it.

 

18. Do you make your husband/boyfriend hold your purse?

Scott's a real man, he doesn't eat quiche. I make a ~fabulous~ quiche. We call it egg pie. He loves egg pie. I would love to get the Spice Agent's take on quiche.  

 

 

 

19. Who is your favorite person to go shopping with?

I'd rather be alone! I know that sounds harsh, but I get so distracted when I'm shopping with someone that we laugh ourselves silly and I can't follow my list for beans. That sounds nice, you say, and I say yes it is, until we get home and I'm missing vital ingredients. Does this mean I choose food over friends? I don't know, I've never psyche analyzed that part of myself, but I do know I love cooking FOR friends. I believe in the burrito. From Enjoy Your Burrito-

“Enjoy Your Burrito” has become a catchphrase of sorts for the Nerdist Podcast, closing every episode, but what does it mean? All was revealed in this episode, which posted on October 4, 2010. The burrito thing comes up at about the 56-minute mark, when Jonah discusses living in San Pedro, trying to get his comedy career going, and getting depressed. He talks about going to his favorite burrito place, and being depressed when halfway done with the burrito because it meant he’d have to go back to his depressing job. And that’s when he decided to “believe in the burrito,” enjoying the rest of the burrito right at that moment and worrying about the other stuff later. That story became, in shorthand form, “Enjoy Your Burrito,” which Nerdist fans have adopted as a motto for life.

 

And since Jonah Ray, Matt Mira, and Chris Hardwick have impacted ~my~ life for the better through that, they can help you, too. (Brief language warning, mostly after 7:45.)

 

 

 

This is someone else's chicken.

This is my chickens eating watermelon, yum!

21. Do you use a cart, a basket, or nothing? 

I can never not use a cart. I need it to hold my purse and jacket while I look at stuff.  I'm mise en place everywhere I go.

 

22. When you check out is the total always more or less than you thought?

I actually like eating the bones, but I make sure they're crunchy crumbly first.

 

 

23. Are you an impulse shopper?

I have never tried making chocolate crepes. And I've kinda been wondering how chocolate pancakes taste, but that seems a bit much. Can you tell I'm in a chocolate mood? Scott likes grape jelly on his pancakes, which I think is weird. Speaking of grape jelly... Scott is one of those guys who walks past flinging blurbs out that he *thinks* is part of a conversation he's already having with me in his head. He's an avid fantasy baseball player juggling multiple teams, so it got a little weird last month when he walked by and asked out of the blue if the Orioles had any grape jelly. I couldn't imagine what in the world was going on in one of his ball teams THIS time, so I was all whaaa?, but then I thought Ok, musta heard him wrong, he meant Oreos because he loves those spring Oreos with the yellow filling, but jelly??? So I had to ask. I usually try to avoid asking, because sometimes it gets ridiculously more complicated than it needs to be, and sure enough, he thought *I* was the crazy one asking about Oreos and grape jelly. I'm sure you birders have already figured out he was thinking about putting an Oriole feeder up. I got this picture a few days ago in between one slurping jelly. It's the only way I could get it on camera at all.

 

 

24. Do you always buy the candy that they sell next to the registers?

This is where it comes in real handy being allergic to nuts and peanuts. Nearly all candy near a register has an allergy warning on it. Since I steer clear for that, I never have to worry about calories from impulse candy.

 

25. If you had to pick one shopping or chocolate which one would you pick?

Shopping for chocolate!  I snack on Hershey's milk chocolate chips because there is no nut or peanut allergy warning on them.

 

Follow your destiny!

 

 

 

I'm growing very impatient with the Bring Merlin Back groupie thing. I joined to watch what's going on partly out of morbid curiosity, because I have a sociology degree heavily anchored with anthropology and psychology. I've never observed a live cult group before, although I've seen a few from a distance. And I have to say, this one comes as close as any to weird obsession. I have bets on that if someone instructs them to drink the koolaid, a few of them just might.

In the real world, one fan does not hold the power to make a staff of hundreds of people do his or her bidding. The group leader ~seems~ to understand that millions more dollars would have to be dredged up and a number of lives would have to screech to a halt and go in reverse to get back to an intersect point where they could pick up where they left off. But the group leader also seems to epic fail to see that playing fan politics like this looks like a mental affliction gone wildly awry. To expect the world to behave this way because a very few people (compared to the entire fandom or world audience) 'work hard' to make it happen isn't much different from a toddler throwing a tantrum or a teenager manipulating relationships or an adult refusing to deal with reality.

I'm not wanting to be mean. I love Merlin so much that I spent good money procuring all 5 seasons, plus a calendar and a t-shirt. There are other fans out there spending much more than I have, buying collectible toys and apparel and traveling to film sites and conventions. IF these kinds of things are what keeps a show from ending, then Merlin would never have ended. Its international success exceeded so many expectations, and most of us feel so lucky to have seen it or been a part of it. But c'mon. Investing one's emotional belief system into remolding a television show via a fan army of swooning believers isn't how the rest of us want it to go. I do NOT want Merlin back if it means a handful of fans become the boss of everyone who ever created Merlin, and I especially do NOT want those fans to be the boss of Bradley and Colin.

I love the way Merlin ended. I bawled my eyes out, yes. I've seen a lot of Arthurs and Merlins come and go, and this creation was such beautifully crafted story about such a deep friendship, and how that friendship survived through thick and thin and eventually led to the United Kingdoms. We watched a core belief system rebirth through the seasons and in the end came down to a serving girl on a throne because of the utter kindness of her king. THAT is what Albion is all about. Albion is a dream that we are ALL equal, that we ALL matter, and that we treat each other with respect and courtesy, not drawing lines at status. Because Arthur had such good friends, he was a good king.

I do not want obsessive fans to change that. Arthur dies in all the legends, and I think this version of his death is fantastically beautiful and symbolic. Everything in the last two episodes is very symbolic- Merlin stuck in the dark cave while the battle begins in the dark, brother and sister both dying by swords forged in the dragons' breath, an actual dragon being Arthur Pendragon's pall bearer, and much more. I wept not just for the death of Arthur, but for how absolutely beautifully done that entire last stand was executed in film, how wonderfully uplifting the entire series was, how much it has actually helped me in my personal life to believe in good things during rough times.

I thank Bradley and Colin very much for being Arthur and Merlin. But I never want to see them do those roles again any other way. I vehemently do NOT want obsessed fans to change what is in MY head by bullying the market with faked email accounts and spamming. I'm sorry those fans need that to hang onto, and I do understand that sometimes we really do need something concrete when our lives need meaning. I don't want to make anyone feel like I am making fun of them, because I'm not. I have observed and not said anything for a long time. But as an American who has watched this 'international' group execute 'actions' to bring Merlin back before some of us have seen season 5 aired in our country (or even season 3 in some countries), I think they do the rest of us fans the discourtesy of not caring what WE want.

I want Arthur to rest in peace for awhile now. I want to make up my own fantasies about him rising out of Avalon again to join Merlin. I want that sparkling effervescence of 'maybe'. I want to move on and become the sort of person who would also be noble and patient and true like the rest of the supporting characters in Merlin.

I have been part of a number of fandoms, and while I appreciate that fan support can sometimes bring a show back long enough to bring a little closure, I also understand that sometimes a show really is simply over, at least in the real world. In my mind I carry on to my own amusement, as is should be. Stories give us something to occupy our thoughts while we get through mundane or difficult stuff, and stories can even help us with problem solving our own relationships and decision making. To turn a story into a production on demand taints the joy of those creating the story to begin with (after all, it WAS someone else's idea), and neglects the feeling of pride in their accomplishment.

I would invite the fans who demand a different sort of closure to create and publish their own stories. Instead of just demanding that everyone else drop whatever they're doing to please them, grow up and put the work into it yourselves. Invest your own money, dedicate your own hours of labor, form your own teams and produce something wonderful for the rest of the world to read or watch. The whole Merlin and Arthur field is wide open, anyone can interpret it any way they want. But don't think you can dare to turn our Colin and Bradley into puppets that you pull the strings on. Not cool. They have so much potential to go on and do so much more, and I want to see them continue to excel in other work. Please accept that they are actors, not dolls, not the real characters, not enamored of themselves as the fans are. They are simply men who get paid to fill roles. And we love them, that's ok.

I rarely cross post my stuff, but this one is going on multiple blogs I have strewn across the ethernet. Those of you wonderful lurkers who stalk all my stuff, sorry for the redundancy, but this feels important. Thank you for your time.